Self Understanding - the key

May 17

Father, today I felt awake. Meditatiion was also fine, 10 min longer than norm. My finger swell has reduced. I know it will go down.
Alas, my path is affirmation. I will continue.
As for my chronic disease, it is further confirmed that it is my cosmic lesson. I who was disconnected with emotion and body is afflicted with physical ailment. And my life lesson is 7 of Spade, Card of Faith; to have faith that I am fine despite the physical ailment.

Last friday discussed wit D and she asked me where should she start first. I told her yoga and reiki. Since body is her doorway, she can start wit that. Suddenly I have the insight that my doorway is my mind.
So, for me, mind is the strongest and followed by emotion and alas body. I used mind to the exclusion of others. So, my emotion is repressed and body is vulnerable and would receive the overall impact from whatever stirred in my mind.

Since my mind is strongest and by nature it is political and can be used for positive and negative tots. By doing meditation, I slowed down the mind activity and have more energy to be aware of emotion and body.
This is further confirmed wit my Mars of 3 Spade and Pluto of Jack of Club that states my mind is very creative and have so many ideas, can be good and bad.

This mornin I also tot of doing my reading and also for V and see if it is saleable.

Osho
While Krishna is dancing as a wave, he is aware that he belongs to the ocean, he is the ocean itself. But as far as we are concerned, we know ourselves only as waves.

Chaitanya
Such a rational intellect, who had indulged in hair splittung interpretation of words and concepts throughout his life, was one day found singing and dancing through the street of Navadeep.
He was not a man of love, and he turned to love and devotion - which was a miracle.
This 180 degree turn in his life demonstrates the victory of love over logic.
He had defeated all his contemporaries with his logic, but when he came to himself, he found it to be a self-defeating discipline.
He came to a point where the mind lost and life and love won. Beyond this point, one can only go with life and love.
He renounces mind, renounces thinking and declare that "Reality is beyond thought, it is unthinkable."
He demonstrates that they alone can transcend thinking who first enter into the very depth of thinking and explore it through and through. Then they are bound to come to a point where thinking ends and the unthinkable begins.
This last frontier of mind is where a statement like this is born. He crosses the last frontier of mentation.
Life begins where logic ends.

Soul
This is me.
2 years ago, I decided my mind was shitty and my mind can't help me anymore and meditation found me and I have a glimpse of beyond mind. Alas, after 1.5 years, I am singing and dancing during meditation.

I guess, when I managed to deactivate the mind, it becomes useful once more and I become to rely it again and hence create the politics of positive and negative path. Well, am straightened, I am on positive path.