Input more than output (2)

May 20

When I woke up at 4.30 am, was feeling drowsy cos I was dreaming. Then I got up and I perk myself up that my dream is have Self Mastery and I can achieve it via my spiritual path, but need to be hardworking and diligent. With that, I start my mornin practices.

This morning hatha yoga, I was laughing. It has been awhile already. I was even singing and dancing, something that has never happen for hatha before. Even Shambavi some giggle. It really has been too long since I hear laughter in the morning.

Father, I have gained weight. Firstly, when I came back from Samyama, deprived of meat and then follow with 1 week of conference and later continuous big lunches wit CEO. In general, double my normal intake. The jeans is even tight and its expensive n I don't wan to buy new jeans.
If I continue this way, I hav to do more exercise and I don't wan to pay such a big price for food intake. I am already having 7 days of exercise in the morning. That's more than enough.

Was contemplating on reducing breakfast portion. A tot came in, my natal chart says that as long as my weight fluctuate, its due to imbalance between giving and receiving.
I admit I haven't been giving. Even the latest politic among my staff, I was also reluctant to handle.
Tot of my Miser card and for me to be at the Source.

Now reading my resolution card - Celebration
Life is a moment to celebrate, to enjoy. Make it fun, a celebration and then you will enter the temple. True celebration arised from a joy that is first experienced deep within, and spills over to an overflow of song and dance.

Osho
Meditation - first level u wil touched individual unconsciousness and second level is collective unconsciousness and third level is cosmic unconscious.

When u passed ur individual stage, u r part of collective mind. Then u don't feel u r dancing - it feels that dance is going on and you are just a part of it. It does not seem that u r laughing, it seems laughter is happening and u r just a part of it.

Soul
I have experienced the collective unconscious. Especially the dance. Such coordination, no way is me. And the laughter, there is no emotion/feel, laughing sound is just there.

Osho
When u r in cosmic unconscious, your awareness undergoes a complete mutation. Then u cease to feel that u r a part of the whole, rather u know that u and the whole are one - u r totality.

Soul
Not sure if I have encountered.

Osho
Remembering u r divine, comes through relaxation, silence and emptiness. Jus be still and empty.
You are utterly mistaken if u think u r a doer; you are merely an instrument in the hands of divine.
Let it do what it wants to be done through you, and let go of yourself.