Amazing Yogaasanas - transported into Samyama program.

May 8

Woke up around 6 plus with a painful right hand..shoulder and elbow hurts. Maybe I over stretched during yesterday yogaasanas. Yesterday I was transported into a little gal, a very happy one. It was so overwhelming that I cried out of gratitude.

Finally work up around 7 plus. Did Bhuta Shuddhi, to my suprise, I am now singing..thats another level I haven't been to.
Right hands still bit painful and heavy but I decided to do Surya Kriya
Did preparatory steps for Surya Kriya..went in deep into cat stretch despite pain on wrist..somehow breathing took precedence. Alignment for Surya Kriya was good. Just did Shavasana, didn't do 61 points awareness meditation.

Yogaasanas was awesome...incredible, another new heights.
Just doing the standing postures, I was singing in all 4 postures.
Despite being 'drunk' after the Trikoasanas, I was able to focus on the tree standing posture.
After that, singing again...no need for Shavasana
On the lying down with feet up postures, I hold it for 50 breathe counts and tears flow..massive tear.
Tears flowed for both right and leg legs..
And then for two legs...firstly laughter and then followed by tears...much tears.
Then during the sitting postures, with two legs, I exploded into singing. With one leg, suddenly animal voices came out..it was from deep within.

The rest of the Lying down posture was followed with laughter and singing.
After Yogaasanas, immediately song erupted again and I did the chanting of Yoga.
Wanted to go into breathing meditation, but somehow singing and dancing erupted. It continues for a long time.

Did Shakti..it was good...able to do slow Kapala Bhakti. And I cried much after Kapala Bhakti. This time by learning to focus on my breathe to get into the slow mode, I am able to focus and not let tots runs..Only out during third cycle.
After Shakti completed, singing and dancing happen agains.

Shambavi was a quicker one..but was singing in all the preparatory steps...Truly being in Samyama. In the end, just stillness..but I didn't sit long..all in all ended by 11 plus, nearly 4 hours in total inclusive of shower.


After standing asanas, got this in my tots.
Awareness path is to keep and retain energy until it explode or burst. Then maybe craziness. With them, nothing happen per se in their meditation experience, but they experience external changes such as emotion calmness and etc.

Samadhi path is to release until all come out and then emptiness. With us, everything happen internally...nothing much outside..
But perhaps one day, finally the outside will follow inside.
I used to lament why no outside change...but perhaps my path is meant to be inside change first...all inside.
Father, alas, I am learning to accept myself...whatever meant to be will be..we are all different..

Our group of 4, K has grown up and 'left' and now A too will leave soon for hata yoga teacher training..just left L and me...L too found her own path and her own team...just as I got my own...

This week osho tarot.
1. The Issue
Completion

Here, the last piece of a jigsaw puzzle is being put into its place, the position of the third eye, the place of inner perception. 

Even in the ever-changing flow of life there are moments in which we come to a point of completion. In these moments we are able to perceive the whole picture, the composite of all the small pieces that have occupied our attention for so long. In the finishing, we can either be in despair because we don't want the situation to come to an end, or we can be grateful and accepting of the fact that life is full of endings and new beginnings. 

Whatever has been absorbing your time and energy is now coming to an end. In completing it, you will be clearing the space for something new to begin. Use this interval to celebrate both - the end of the old and the coming of the new.

Soul
One thing is that I am restructuring my office team and my local boss leaving soon. Thats end of another era.

Another is me finally accepting my Samadhi path, finally can see my future be different from the Awareness path, finally learning to speak up when others said i m on the wrong track.

And in terms of volunteering, I know clearly I am not keen on hands on. I also know that with my drunkard state, I can't do work during program with  high energy. Hence, my only role is promotion and interaction.

2. Internal influences that you are unaware
Awareness
Any sense you might have had that you've been groping in the dark is dissolving now, or will be dissolving soon. Let yourself settle, and remember that deep inside you are just a witness, eternally silent, aware and unchanged. 

A channel is now opening from the circumference of activity to that center of witnessing. It will help you to become detached, and a new awareness will lift the veil from your eyes.


3. External influences that you are aware.
Understanding
The bird pictured on this card is looking out from what seems to be a cage. There is no door, and actually the bars are disappearing. The bars were an illusion, and this small bird is being summoned by the grace and freedom and encouragement of the others. It is spreading its wings, ready to take flight for the very first time. 

The dawn of a new understanding - that the cage has always been open, and the sky has always been there for us to explore - can make us feel a little shaky at first. It's fine, and natural to be shaky, but don't let it overshadow the opportunity to experience the lightheartedness and adventure on offer, right there alongside the shakiness. 

Move with the sweetness and gentleness of this time. Feel the fluttering within. Spread your wings and be free.


4. What’s needed for resolution?
Moment to Moment
This card challenges us to move away from our preoccupations with other spaces and other times, and stay alert to what is happening in the here and now. Life is a great ocean in which you can play if you drop all your judgments, your preferences and the attachment to the details of your long-term plans. Be available to what comes your way, as it comes. And don't worry if you stumble or fall; just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, have a good laugh, and carry on.

Soul
If my changes is only internal, so be it.
even if only singing and laughing happens to me so be it..
For now..this is all.

5.5. Resolution
New Vision
The figure on this card is being born anew, emerging from his earthbound roots and growing wings to fly into the unbounded. The geometric shapes around the body of the figure show the many dimensions of life simultaneously available to him. The square represents the physical, the manifest, the known. The circle represents the unmanifest, the spirit, pure space. And the triangle symbolizes the threefold nature of the universe: manifest, unmanifest, and the human being who contains both. 

Now you are presented with an opportunity to see life in all its dimensions, from the depths to the heights. They exist together, and when we come to know from experience that the dark and the difficult are needed as much as the light and easy, then we begin to have a very different perspective on the world. By allowing all of life's colors to penetrate us, we become more integrated.

Soul
Yes..today I am me.
Father, I am me...no apology..I may not be perfect..and it is okay.
Alas, learning to disregard my image or the image others have of me...perhaps slowly losing the need for keeping validation. How others validate me and later invalidates me has nothing to do with me. I was just being me.