North Node in Taurus and 11th house

May 5 aft 1
North Node in 11th house
Gargothill
“Transcendent Potential

Your good fortune lies in your ability to transcend your personal self and identify with some higher entity. Any development of the ability to see beyond yourself and sacrifice your own personal goals and wishes for the sake of the group is good. However, when you perceives the reality that you are a microcosm of the Divine Macrocosm and is able to identify with That of which you are a part and a reflection, then that is a great good fortune.
Insecurity

Excerpt From: Gargatholil. “Depth Astrology: An Astrological Handbook - Volumes 1-4 (Introduction, Planets in Signs, Planets in Houses, Planets in Aspect).” iBooks.

Soul
At the moment..I can't see the group as mine..cos I need to see mine first.
But I can see that I am part of the Cosmic..I can see that all my 'suferrings' was only punishment in my perception. In reality..it was not..I was just part of the wheel..
When I tot Z was rejecting me..he was not..he fall in love with his mate..so whatever happens will happen..
Amen.

Gargothill
“Transcendent Potential in North Node in Taurus
You see all your good fortune as proceeding from your membership in some group. Often, this is you ethnic, religious or social class, of which you becomes very proud, resulting in bias and bigotry. You feels that if you lacked the support of or membership in this group, you would be a failure. Conversely, you may have the ill fortune to have been born in a disadvantaged group or class and, if so, you feels this very keenly and blames all of your troubles on this deal of the dice.”

Soul
Used to think that I need the group much.
Now i find my space with my shrine.
My involvement with the group is an outflow of my sharing..

Excerpt From: Gargatholil. “Depth Astrology: An Astrological Handbook - Volumes 1-4 (Introduction, Planets in Signs, Planets in Houses, Planets in Aspect).” iBooks. North node in Taurus
“Transcendent Potential

You have steadily and devotedly progressed toward your ultimate destiny. Along the way, you have rid yourself of all unnecessary attachments and possessiveness. Now, you see the interrelatedness of everything as one organic whole. You are overwhelmed with the “Love that’s shining all around you.”(from It's All Too Much by The Beatles). As you possess your destiny, you are absorbed in contemplation of the Whole and are steeped in true enjoyment and pleasure.

Soul
Sadhana and shrine is my high point.

Insecurity
Being insecure about meeting your destiny, you have tried to amass possessions in order to distract yourself. You may become stubborn and recalcitrant when confronted by your destiny, trying to steel yourself against it. Wanting to distance yourself from your destiny, you may have some reluctance or inhibitions about material possessions and/or comforts and enjoyments and these capacities may, as a result, remain underdeveloped in your life and psyche.”

Soul
Yes..at first was focused on career..but that one is gone..
Now work is just for me to make money for comfortable life.
On volunteering..I too try to get away....and while I did miss it..I don't want hands on volunteering. Truly not able to feel love with the people per se.
.but now offered a space..leading the sub group of supporting and inspiring others to deepen their sadhanas..basically just growing up 'babies' in spiritual path.