Dancing with Existence

Apr 18

Today woke up at 6.30 am upon alarm
Body still bit tired so dozed bit.
A tot came..Isha returning back to me..
But I am now ready to take the lead on interaction. My commitment to Sadhguru is to keep the flame alive in me and support others. Yes..the name of my team will be Isha Flame

Did Bhuta Shuddhi..followed by preparatory steps for Surya Kriya. But alas couldn't do lying down posture. I should have rested till next week. So just proceed to 61 point awareness meditation...and it was okay
Shakti was okay..many tots came on me being the interaction lead. A tot came is that to do sharing in Sathsang to get volunteers. Mind keep on coming on what and how to share and alas I said Sadhguru will guide me
Shambavi was awesome with corrected Cat stretch and sitting on muladhara..in the end I was snarling..like an animal, not sure if Leopard or wild cat...and then later was singing and dancing
I was also crying as I suddenly realised that during BSP, I was dancing and singing with the flower. And now I am singing and dancing with Existence.
I am truly loved.
So BSP truly continues for me..

This week Osho tarot card
2. Internal influences that you are unable to see
Existence
You are not accidental. Existence needs you. Without you something will be missing in existence and nobody can replace it. That's what gives you dignity, that the whole existence will miss you. The stars and sun and moon, the trees and birds and earth - everything in the universe will feel a small place is vacant which cannot be filled by anybody except you. 

This gives you a tremendous joy, a fulfillment that you are related to existence, and existence cares for you. Once you are clean and clear, you can see tremendous love falling on you from all dimensions.


This naked figure sits on the lotus leaf of perfection, gazing at the beauty of the night sky. She knows that "home" is not a physical place in the outside world, but an inner quality of relaxation and acceptance. The stars, the rocks, the trees, the flowers, fish and birds - all are our brothers and sisters in this dance of life. We human beings tend to forget this, as we pursue our own private agendas and believe we must fight to get what we need. But ultimately, our sense of separateness is just an illusion, manufactured by the narrow preoccupations of the mind. 

Now is the time to look at whether you are allowing yourself to receive the extraordinary gift of feeling "at "home" wherever you are. If you are, be sure to take time to savor it so it can deepen and remain with you. If on the other hand you've been feeling like the world is out to get you, it's time to take a break. Go outside tonight and look at the stars.

Soul
Definitely feeling at home.
Even this task of leading the Interaction team no longer zone me out.
I can finally see that Existence love me.

External influence that you are aware
fighting
We think that if we frighten people away, we can avoid being hurt even more. In fact, just the opposite is the case. By covering our wounds with armor we are preventing them from being healed. By lashing out at others we keep ourselves from getting the love and nourishment we need. 

If this description seems to fit you, it's time to stop fighting. There is so much love available to you if you just let it in. Start by forgiving yourself: you're worth it.

Soul
No more fighting..yesterday when I arrived there..and I was not greeted warmly, I start to have negative tots that I am not welcome and I no longer belong to the core team so they ignoring me. They seems to have formed an inner clique..and I felt like a child..but I didn't let the feeling overwhelmed me. Later S told me she is tired cos after 2 hours of meeting with teacher. We then chatted back to norm.
I also catch P's eyes and the smile is there.
Also having L's there not helping my comfort. But I just ignored it..teacher chosen me for a reason and I can do the job. As for L's input, is hers. During the conversation with teacher, I can see that she is not listening and off-focus. She just want her way.

I then recalled I got lifetime challenge of Seven of Clubs..negativity.
Basic Meaning of Seven Of Clubs:
Spiritual knowledge, testing your ability to let go of mental attitudes and beliefs.
Low side: Negative thinking.
High side: mental and spiritual revelation, expanded consciousness.

Soul
But luckily now I am no longer so affected as before. Having the rudraksh truly helps.

Whats needed?
 Ice-olation
We are miserable because we are too much in the self. What does it mean when I say we are too much in the self? And what exactly happens when we are too much in the self? Either you can be in existence or you can be in the self--both are not possible together. To be in the self means to be apart, to be separate. To be in the self means to become an island. To be in the self means to draw a boundary line around you. To be in the self means to make a distinction between 'this I am' and 'that I am not'. The definition, the boundary, between "I" and "not I" is what the self is--the self isolates. And it makes you frozen--you are no longer flowing. If you are flowing the self cannot exist. Hence people have become almost like ice-cubes. They don't have any warmth, they don't have any love--love is warmth and they are afraid of love. If warmth comes to them they will start melting and the boundaries will disappear. In love the boundaries disappear; in joy also the boundaries disappear, because joy is not cold.

 Soul
Yesterday, just listened to the video clips, tears just fell.
I am
5. Resolutions

Politics

Do you recognize this man? All but the most innocent and sincere of us have a politician lurking somewhere in our minds. In fact, the mind is political. Its very nature is to plan and scheme and try to manipulate situations and people so that it can get what it wants. Here, the mind is represented by the snake, covered with clouds and "speaking with a forked tongue". But the important thing to realize about this card is that both faces are false. The sweet, innocent, "trust me" face is a mask, and the evil, toxic, "I'll have my way with you" face is a mask, too. Politicians don't have real faces. The whole game is a lie. Take a good look at yourself to see if you have been playing this game. What you see might be painful, but not as painful as continuing to play. It doesn't serve anybody's interest in the end, least of all yours. Whatever you might achieve in this way will just turn to dust in your hands.

Soul
Okay with isha now..finally acceptance.
A repeat of 2012 and my choice is clear now.
Staying put in current company
focused on sadhana and not on volunteering hands on..but on interation..thats me..