Despite my fear, learning to curb my need to strategise

Apr 29 aft

Today got a bombshell from local boss. She said me to go off in Dec whereas ate goes off in Sept.
I was bit flustered

Did a quick message to my regional boss. He said I m already on partial remuneration. So don't have to reduce further. Also local boss need his approval on my position. Net is that unless I want to go, my position is secure.

Now looking back, perhaps my local boss misunderstood me. When I said I m prepared for the worst. Go with the flow. I meant I won't run. It doesn't meant that I m willing to go as I know I got a role to play.
Have given local boss action plan for severance but she can't decide. If that's the case then it's either her and second in command. Just now want to drop her a msg. But I stopped myself. She has to come to that decision herself. Don't cross the border.
Father, alas no longer as strategising as before. No longer crossing other parameters reactively.
For the first time in this company, I no longer provide options of action plan. I let them decide. I need not be the key player. I need not be stressed as the main payroll from them.

This week Osho tarot really true.
Resolution
Stress
All private goals are neurotic. The essential man comes to know, to feel, "I am not separate from the whole, and there is no need to seek and search for any destiny on my own. Things are happening, the world is moving--call it God...he is doing things. They are happening of their own accord. There is no need for me to make any struggle, any effort; there is no need for me to fight for anything. I can relax and be."
The essential man is not a doer. The accidental man is a doer. The accidental man is, of course, then in anxiety, tension, stress, anguish, continuously sitting on a volcano. It can erupt any moment, because he lives in a world of uncertainty and believes as if it is certain. This creates tension in his be-ing: he knows deep down that nothing is certain.


Secrets of yoga
A happy man will be celebrating, he will be enjoying and sharing and he will be laughing.
The moon person can laugh easily, naturally and spontaneously. To a moon person, laughter arise at every situation; he remains laughing.
The sun person cannot laugh, it is difficult.
Laughter is so spiritual, nothing like it. When u laughed all tensions disappear. When u laugh deeply, suddenly, as if u have come to an open sky, the walls disappear around u. If u can laugh, u can always relax.
Let laugher be ur temple and you will feel in deep contact with the divine.

Soul
Before Isha I was happy go lucky on surface. Now I m joyful inside. Laugher erupted without any reason when I m meditation zone.
Amen.