Aries and Cancer relationship (Z and I)

Apr 21 aft 2

http://www.depthastrology2.com/Aries-Cancer.html

With Aries-Cancer, we have the pairing of Cardinal Fire and Cardinal Water.  Thus, the essence of the conflict inherent in these two signs lies between Fire and Water, each moving in a different “direction”—Aries toward action and Cancer toward feeling.

Water and fire are inherently antagonistic.  Water extinguishes fire while fire causes water to evaporate and become trapped by air.  Prior to these finalities, the interaction of fire and water is likely to produce negative effects.  Water, particularly if applied slowly, will cause fire to sputter and smoke, creating confusion and noxiousness.  Fire, when applied to water, first brings it to a boil—too hot to sustain life and turbulent in character. Nevertheless, in proper relationship and combination, fire and water can yield benefit, just as the energy of the square can be channeled to build strength and character.  Water provides relief when fire becomes too hot.  Fire makes water perform work and become useful.

From Aries’ point of view, emotions get in the way of action.  Aries energy is simple and direct; Cancer, with its emotions, complicates things.  For the Cancer container, any action undertaken must feel right.  If it doesn’t feel right, action is blocked.  Aries doesn’t care about feelings.  You just want to act.  So, for Aries, the emotional prerequisite for action constitutes nothing but a useless and frustrating obstacle.  Cancer’s emotional caution only enflames Aries’ impatience.

When Aries displays his/her impatience, the Cancer container is likely to perceive this as insensitivity, or emotional ignorance.  Furthermore, Aries’ impatient (and emotionally rash) behavior can easily feel threatening to the Cancer container.  This reflects the inherent first house-fourth house conflict between the will to assert the self and the need to protect the self (and everyone to whom you have become attached).  Mars, as god of war, can only cause destruction and calamity from Cancer’s viewpoint.  So when the Aries container becomes too assertive, too war-like, you react, withdraw and put up your defenses.  When pushed, like a cornered mother bear, you can attack with the full force of your emotional wrath.  Or, you can withdraw into passive aggression, silently meeting the Aries threat with deadly emotional energy.  Your Aries opponent is not likely to back down, however, with his/her own emotions suddenly ablaze.  Thus, an Aries-Cancer conflict can result in some spectacular fireworks.  Or, it can lead to the spectacle of the Aries container futilely spending his/her anger against a withdrawn and seemingly unresponsive crab.
Another potential dynamic of Aries-Cancer involves mutual negative perceptions and attitudes.  Cancer is likely to consider the Aries freshness and impulsiveness as dangerously naïve.  A typical Cancerian reaction to Aries headlong approach is to protect.  This may be either self-protection (or protection of those under your care) or you may instinctively respond by wanting to protect Aries from the danger in which you see him/her putting him/herself.  If the former is the case, a likely Aries response is to push forward, which will further raise your alarm bells and provoke a stronger protective reaction.  If the latter is the case, the Aries container may feel s-mothered (over-protected, inhibited and controlled).  Again, your Aries reaction is likely to be to try to break free and escape the limitations that Cancer is trying to impose on you “for your own good.”

If you feel bound or enslaved and controlled by the Cancer personality, you may become resentful or even mutinous.  If, on the other hand, you thrive on the adrenaline rush of taking heroic action, you may continually seek out situations that place you in a combat role, ready to defend that which is precious to you.  Your Cancer partner may also become attached to and dependent on the dynamics of the hero-protected relationship.  Not only may this make her/him feel worthy (of being protected), loved and cared for, but she/he may also welcome the opportunity to play the Cancerian role of nurturer and care-giver as the hero returns from the wars, wounded and tired. 

Cancer can learn that it is not enough to feel; that action must sometimes be taken.  Instead of always reacting to the Aries will to act, you may find ways to harness your emotions in support of the Aries container.  You, yourself, may be stimulated by the Aries container to take action, even if it is only the action of expressing your emotions instead of holding them inside.  Again, this will take conscious effort and may not always be easy.  You may always have to control your impulse to stop the Aries container from acting or to automatically protect yourself from Aries’ assertiveness.

At a deeper level, the challenge of the Aries-Cancer combination is to reconcile the primal existential impulse to Be with the longing for the comfort and security to be found in a return to the Cosmic Womb.  For the Aries container, Cancer’s withdrawal into itself, into the subconscious world, and back to a state of primal rootedness represents an existential threat—a return to a state of Not-Being.  Psychologically, this can be compared to the animus’s fear of envelopment and entrapment by the anima.  The Aries masculine energy fears and is wary of the Cancer feminine’s desire to domesticate the wild masculine energy, resulting in a loss of freedom and a containment of nakedBeingness.  For Aries, the Cosmic Womb may not be a warm place of existential security but a dark web of entanglement and danger.

For the Cancer container, on the other hand, the Aries energy represents a threat of intrusion into the safety of the subconscious womb.  For the drive to Be represented by Aries can only be actualized in a state of consciousness.  The bringing of fire and light into the subconscious makes it conscious, exposing it to the world and its dangers and destroying the safety that Cancer would inhabit.  Aries is seen by Cancer in his role of warrior, a conqueror who would subject the world of the subconscious by making the potential manifest.  Thus, on both sides, there is an inherent distrust of the energy of the other and of the consequences of interacting with that energy.

The challenge, therefore, is to heal that distrust, which can only occur through courage, acceptance and Love.  The Aries container must have the courage to enter into the domain of the Cosmic Womb, to submerge into the water of emotion, accepting it on its own terms and trusting that your Being will not be destroyed or emasculated.  You must go into that darkness not as a conqueror but as a warrior without arms, bravely but gently asserting and maintaining your Beingness as you, in actuality, conquer your emotional demons by surrendering to the Divine Mother.  You must make the potential manifest without ripping it from its fabric.  You must walk into the mines and caverns of the subconscious in a spirit of reverence and awe, all the time fighting to preserve your Beingness.

Soul - yes..he avoided any attempt from me to bring him into Isha. Alas now hope he can learn in BSP

The Cancer container must learn to accept without question, to receive the Aries container without reaction, without fear.  A quality of the feminine Divine is Her infinite acceptance of all creatures and of all circumstances.  This is the unconditional love of a mother for her child.  You must learn that it is through the warrior Aries, the one who acts, that you will experience your own Being.  You must allow your potential to become manifest and you must trust that it is the Aries energy which will unleash that potential within you, that will dip deep into the well of the unmanifest within and actualize this content into the world.  You must have the courage and love to give birth to your potential and to bring to the Light that which was enclosed in the darkness.

Soul
yes..it was him that I finally release myself physically. I think if another person, would have given up on me.
I recalled it took him one year before we finaly consumate physically...
me learning to use money to buy myself what I want
To give myself what I want instead of worrying about the price to pay.