Fear of the pool is gone...

Mar 28

Woke up early morning cos too cold. Slept back and woke upon alarm at 6.30 am. Feeling tired. Doze a bit till 6.45 am.

Did Bhuta Shuddhi followed by Surya Kriya. My right elbow was painful but bearable.
61 points awareness meditation not great. Breathing was nice. Wish I could sit longer.
Shakti is good.
Shambavi good too.

Went to the pool. I was surprised that there is no fear. It has been one and half month. The last time the fear has reduced and I swam free style.
Today, just feeling relax in the pool. Able to swim slow free style. And then swim breast stroke too, with slow breathe. Amazing.
Something has broken off the fear in the past few months. I m back.

Perhaps it could be that I finally accepted that Z and wife is meant to be. I accepted that unlike the majority whose path is in rship; mine is being alone.
I m learning to go with the flow. Or rather I can now stop when I see that universe not supporting. Means not meant to be.