No longer need to run off just because I don't want to volunteer

Apr 7 eve

Breakthrough - stop running
Was checking the flights to Mumbai for trip to ashram. The price is quite high. Then suddenly tot of checking temperature. It is high 40 degree. It is hot from April to May. I knew not right time to go.
Then I asked myself; what's the rush? Why do I need to go to ashram just because I decided not to go to BSP volunteering.

Then a tot arise. Back in 2012 when I couldn't do volunteering for Sadhguru visit; I ran off to the Ashram to do Shoonya. I ran off after I had tender resignation.

Then I realised I m again trying to run off now cos it's a good excuse to justify me not joining BSP volunteering. Well, I won't run. I will face it. I need not justify to anyone for not volunteering.

I released burden from my own perceived image of being ISHA meditator.
 Maybe no one expect me to. Just my own expectation. No more doing things because of fear of losing validation. No more doing what I don't truly value. I knew not volunteering was right cos I only feel relieved I didn't have to go.

Looks like 2012 repeat itself for me to choose again.
I am not running to sister company out of fear that current company is downsizing.
I am not strategising on the company matters.
I am not running to ashram to provide justification to myself and others for not volunteering.

http://consciouslifenews.com/vedic-astrology-april-2015-optimism-new-ventures-going/1183290/

Being a full moon eclipse, we might feel a greater emotional charge and amplified energies at this time. Eclipses are tied to shifts in one’s life, bringing to surface hidden matters to be faced, so we can heal and grow. An eclipse can be an important learning experience, prompting us to take action and make needed changes. Eclipses are great times for introspection, meditation, and prayer, but are not favored for material or worldly pursuits. The effects of eclipses can last for several months.

Susan Miller on April Cancer horoscope
This full moon total eclipse will light your real estate, home, and family sector, so apparently a lot is going on there or soon will be. Even if you have been working on your home, something new is bound to come up at this April 4 eclipse (plus or minus seven days). This is a full moon, so a matter is reaching culmination, and perhaps you will soon need to make a decision or plan an action as a result of what comes up.
 This moment will be an emotional one, for Uranus, the planet of all things unexpected, will oppose this eclipse precisely, making for a jarring situation.