Isha volunteering is back..but in the type of work that I wanted

Apr 17

Woke up at 7 am...body is okay.
Did Bhuta Shuddhi followed by cat stretch. Decided not to do Surya Kriya as left elbow is still swelling much.
Went into Yogaasanas, doing 40 breathe count, ie 45 seconds holding posture. Overall okay despite the tightness on my right back side due to the wrong pull during Surya Kriya a few days ago.
In Yogaasanas, forgot to do the last session with preparatory steps and etc. Maybe thats why 61 points awareness meditation didn't go so well.
Breathing meditation was nice.
Shakti was quite okay despite the pain and cramp to right feet. There were some tots coming in on how to promote interaction grouping..and I waive them off..saying Sadhguru will guide me when the time is right..
Shambavi with corrected cat stretch and the pressure on muladhara has a whole new level. I feel as if Shambavi been upgraded. Towards the end..I was singing and crying too. Its been awhile since I cried during Shambavi.

Suddenly tot of this week Osho Tarot.

External influence - Fighting
We think that if we frighten people away, we can avoid being hurt even more. In fact, just the opposite is the case. By covering our wounds with armor we are preventing them from being healed. By lashing out at others we keep ourselves from getting the love and nourishment we need. 

If this description seems to fit you, it's time to stop fighting. There is so much love available to you if you just let it in. Start by forgiving yourself: you're worth it.

4. Whats’ needed for resolution
Ice-olation

In our society, men in particular have been taught not to cry, to put a brave face on things when they get hurt and not show that they are in pain. But women can fall into this trap too, and all of us at one time or another might feel that the only way to survive is to close off our feelings and emotions so we can't be hurt again. If our pain is particularly deep, we might even try to hide it from ourselves. This can make us frozen, rigid, because deep down we know that one small break in the ice will free the hurt to start circulating through us again. The rainbow-colored tears on this person's face hold the key to breaking out of this 'ice-olation'. The tears, and only the tears, have the power to melt the ice. It's okay to cry, and there is no reason to feel ashamed of your tears. Crying helps us to let go of pain, allows us to be gentle with ourselves, and finally helps us to heal.

Soul
At first was worried that teacher asked me to come back on hands-on volunteering..cos I have to say no.
But he come back to tell me on Interaction..which is what I am doing..
I always said..I may not help it to grow..But i m committed to keep the flame alive.
I always believes interaction is important but couldn't get support from the team...Looks like I was on the right track.
So..only interaction..that I m willing to commit..cos i m already doing it..
Yes.. a good cry,..after the Shambavi initiation and the thank you song to Sadhguru..cry loads..so overwhelmingly grateful for the precious gift he gave us.
a good cry during Shambavi today
Cried at yesterday closing invocation


5.. Resolutions
Politics

Do you recognize this man? All but the most innocent and sincere of us have a politician lurking somewhere in our minds. In fact, the mind is political. Its very nature is to plan and scheme and try to manipulate situations and people so that it can get what it wants. Here, the mind is represented by the snake, covered with clouds and "speaking with a forked tongue". But the important thing to realize about this card is that both faces are false. The sweet, innocent, "trust me" face is a mask, and the evil, toxic, "I'll have my way with you" face is a mask, too. Politicians don't have real faces. The whole game is a lie. Take a good look at yourself to see if you have been playing this game. What you see might be painful, but not as painful as continuing to play. It doesn't serve anybody's interest in the end, least of all yours. Whatever you might achieve in this way will just turn to dust in your hands.

Soul
No more..
Just now suddenly L asked me of the volunteering for BSP and I told her nope.She said she tot I changed my mind after SMM..nope.
I didn't enjoy the part of the volunteering..that I m clear..i can only do interactions
I only enjoyed the powerful initations..

Today card in Saturn

My Daily Card
The Four of Diamonds

The Four of Diamonds means a solid sense of values that attracts enough money to meet our security needs and then some. When we know exactly what it is we want, we tend to attract those things to us more quickly. Thus, when this card shows up, it usually means that we have gotten clear about what we want and then we get it. Satisfaction and prosperity are indicated here and you may have a good foundation upon which you can begin building a financial future. Managing your resources could come into focus in a greater way when this card is present and this card can give you the ability to handle financial matters with a clear mind.

Soul
Exactly..I am finally sure of my value.
In terms of volunteering..only on interaction.
That one can be done off line..need not be into every meeting..
Our Interaction Team is to keep the flame ignited by Sadhguru during Shambavi alive..