Value for Money mode

It has been a long journey. I hav arrived.
My friend said I always shift jobs. True, but I guess I changed jobs instead of changing partner.

The Witch/Teacher
It was no easy matter, constantly destroying and rebuilding ourselves.
It was difficult living as a human being and as a divinity. Moving from tension into relaxation and then into trance. From trance into a more intense contact. It is not easy because it requires unconditional love, which does not fear suffering, rejection, loss.

Soul - tot of my path, constant change except for family n friends.

This week Osho reading caught me by surprise;
1. The Issue - Inner Voice
Finding your truth within yourself, there is nothing more in this world existence to find.
Whenever u find too many voices seem to be pulling u, just to seek the silence within.

Soul - At first in my journey, I found d Darkness / Shadow n now alas via kriya, I found my Light / Joy. I feel so at ease. I am at bliss, a song unto myself.
Yea, this morning, I was bit confused n also slightly thrown out by another car at my place. I told myself, d guy will drive out before 9 am, don't have to agitate myself. Yea, jus centering within cos I have found my Self within. Just need to call it n I was settled.

2 Internal Influence that I am not aware - Existence
Existence needs u. Without u something will be missing in existence n nobody can replace it. That's what give you dignity.
Home is where an inner quality of relaxation and acceptance is being experienced.

Soul - yea, all the while looking at my job for my existence. And when I couldn't find it in the job, tot of looking for partner. The truth is I matter. While I know I am meant to lead, I still don't know what I am to lead. For now, just be a leader in my job.
I have experienced acceptance during kriya n now slowly wil bring it up without kriya.
I have received this Existence card a couple of times n for the first time I saw the phrase - I matter n I am needed n I don't have to justify my existence, no need to prove I am special in order to seek acceptance. I am Home. I have arrived. Previously, I basically dismissed it and saw the part of me taking in a breather – relaxing.

3 External Influence that you are aware - Celebration
Finally overcome reporting n able to create a more open relationship wit boss.
I am open and available to the many opportunities, even relocation to overseas, travel to Penang for Guru Pooja, to share by blogging.

4. Success.
The waves has peak n valley, both to be enjoyed as both will also pass thru life.

5. Travelling
Be open n receptive to new friends and experiences into our lives.


Evening
Soul
Was looking forward meeting my old friends this weekend. Thought of how I go about eliminating the restaurants, my elimination method decision making. Thought of my dear friend, whom I used to be in love with and how I took the rejection badly.

Suddenly, it occurred to me why I took the rejection badly. I have always been using VFM mode in my decision making of ‘elimination’, so when he rejected me, I thought it was because I am not valuable. Of cos, now I knew its because we are of different world, both age and religion. Mmmm, finally, I am able to see from another angle.

Actually, I am wondering, do other people operate on VFM mode in their decision making.

Is it just me who is always looking out for diamonds in anything that I am asked to decide on anything. I have always searching for the best VFM in everything and everyone. I find it very difficult to give anything less or rather to ask for anything less.

I thought of my boss and her high expectations, giving us unnecessary pressure.

Am I like that? Has my VFM mode in every circumstances makes my friends/family/staff difficult. Mmmm, my boss is turning into such a huge mirror for me. Will look at it more.