I am worthy

This mornin I woke up, feeling ok but jus don't wan to go to work.

The mind is telling me all the stuff I haven't done n hence I need to cancel my leave.
But I tot I already worked for the past 3 days cancellin my leave, so since budget are done, why not take a break as I am tired.
I briefly tot of the Osho reading;
1. The Outsider - me finally not engulfed in drama. I must remember not to fill myself with pain and misery. I must remember I need not have to justify myself in work again, I am worthy.
2. The Source - I can go back to rest and to reenergised myself. It is Within Me. The Source wil direct me to where my potential is.
3. Going with the flow. Bein passive n just be available to the currents of life - no resistance nor motivation. I am able to float now. I can trust and relax and be assured.
4. Suppression - let go of my control. Let go of my high expectation, my guilt, my conscientiousness, my burden. Release my tensions.
5. The Dream - perfect job. Let go of my need to search the perfect job so I won't feel alone.


With that tot, I send a few emails to follow thru on outstanding matters conveyed to me by my mind

Its evening now and I have a good rest.

Now reading Pramahansa and this phrase jumped out to me again

The Lord first formed the earth as an idea. He quickened it; atomic energy and then the matter came into being.
When He withdraws His will, all earth atoms will be transformed into energy n return back to its source - consciousness and the earth idea will disappear from objectivity.

The substance of a dream is held in materialisation by the subsconscious tot of the dreamer. When that cohesive tot is withdrawn in wakefulness, the dream and its element dissolve.

Whoever realises himself as the Creator, can reach any goal by the infinite power hidden within him.

Soul - I suddenly tot of myself. I who was feeling unaccepted, has been forever attracting situations to prove myself. So many situations to prove that m worthy. As long as I felt unworthy internally, I would keep on attracting such challenging situation.

So the trick is to stop at the source - just feel worthy.

This morning, my mind said I need to prove my commitment to work, but then I tot I m committed, I don't have to overkill. I came back to work last Friday and Saturday, I need not feel guilty or fear that I lose my staff respect. I am worthy of their respect even if I didn't work today despite saying I would earlier.
So, I am worthy and accepted. No need to justify the need of my existence. The need is from the past.