Losing All but gaining all too; If only i can truly experience that

Yday, abt losing but actually gaining.

Today reading thru my pluto card - 9 diamond.
For 9 diamond, there are things in their value system that will be realigned over the course of their life. Much of this realignment will occur through apparent losses with respect to specific things or people.
Those who take a thoughtful approach to the events of their life will realise that for each thing they supposedly lose, new avenues are opening and they are getting more in touch with the cosmic flow. When they truly release their attachment (validation by high value work), spiritual gifts are showered down upon them.
They realise the beauty of releasing things in their life that are holding them back from a new and more beautiful life that is just now emerging.
They began to identify with a much larger image of themselves, one that includes the need of others, as well as their own.
The result is that they are happy and enlightened, having made the transition to a more universal approach to life.
The universal, rather than personal, point of view is the ultimate destination for all 9 diamond.

Soul - remind me so much of me. I who had tot I lost, now have regained so much and all that is the Source.

Carl Jung
Whenever something emotionally sad came up, I would say to myself, "I have tot and felt this way at some time or other but I don't have to think and feel that way now. I need not accept this banality of mine in perpetuity; that is an unnecessary humiliation.

The essential thing is to differential oneself from these unconscious contents by personifying them (acknowledge), and at the same time to bring them into relationship wit consciousness (identifying). That is the technique for stripping them of their power.
The insinuations of the anima, the mouthpiece of the unconscious, can utterly destroy a man.
In the final analysis, the decisive factor is always consciousness, which can understand the manifestations of the unconsciousness and take a position toward them.
But the anima also has a positive aspect as well. It is she who communicates the images of unconscious to the conscious mind. "What are u up to?" What do u see?

Consciously, deliberately, I abandoned my academic career. For I felt something great was happening to me, and I put my trust in the thing which I felt to be more important. I knew that it would fill my life, and for the sake of that goal, I was ready to take any kind of risk. Of cos, it bothered me to have to give this up. I even had moments when I stormed against destiny, but this moments are transitory and do not count.
If we pay heed to what the inner personality desires and says, the sting vanishes.

The goal of psychic development is the self. There is no linear development; there is only a circumambulation of the self. Uniform development exists, at most, only at the beginning; later, everything points toward the center.

Soul. CJ left his career and chase his destiny. He is so sure. What about me? Where do I go from here. On one hand, I am appreciative of Sadhguru and all the gurus I have known, but on the other hand, all these knowledge leads me further and further from the normal life. I am feeling afraid especially since I cannot find any kindred friends that I can share on this. Part of me wants to go forward, but part of me wants to stay. All my search is leading me towards..somewhere I don’t know. And of course, my impatience and lack of gratitude of how far I have gone is also not helping L Someone should give me a knock on the head.
On the transformation, I know I always come back to the starting position, but in a stronger, better platform.

Soul - Yday, halfway thru evening meditation, I suddenly cry with grief that "No one love me", tears were pouring. It then stop after awhile and later I find myself giggle and laughing, a tot came "I am loved".

Evening
Halfway thru meditation just now, I was crying that I am alone n I jus let my tears fell. Moments later I stop n then I start to giggle. I am alone but m fine.

When I receive a sms from our collegue asking me to keep quiet about her story about wanting to leave the company. My first reaction was that why tell me n she has already told so many other people. 2nd tot, I wonder if someone is spreading stories about me, now that I have fall out with the CEO’s PA. I felt judged and I felt left out like an outsider. Moment later I recall d situation in a very former company, when I give compliment to the secretary but it was badly taken. I recall that they talked about me n I felt ostracised. Already over here, am alone, with no one to share. Recently, I felt it even more with CEO’s PA gone and my old FM too. I felt alone. Only comfort is my meditation, for which m grateful.
Over here, I already learned that everyone is not what they seem and the GM is the biggest player.

When I was meditating, I asked why I am being put on the spot. I didn't do anything wrong, I was jus being truthful.

Suddenly a msg came, darkness abhor light. I start to relax and then later laughed n I tot I am ripe.

I tot of this week Osho card - Outsider and I can't recall the What to do card, but I know the resolution is ripeness and I am comforted. And I won't push this away, if darkness abhor light, then I will face it with the light in me. I need not worry about my colleagues acceptance of me. I only care about my relationship with God. I will face it and I am not afraid cos I have d meditation to fall back on. The rest will be taken care. I attract loving people and loving circumstances. I guess all this comes about because the Fung Shui guys said my door is facing a bad direction and I will be ‘stabbed’ and hence I need the rooster to peck them back.

Sadhguru.
Now we are seeing how to put the basket aside. We r not interested in what is in the basket. If u deprive urself of any experience - pain or suffering. If u avoid it, is big karma. If u go through it, it is not so much of a karma.

Today people with etiquette, they cannot cry fully; they cannot laugh loudly. Slowly they become joyless.
You will see simple people who laugh and cry as it comes, they are so much more free.
The very process of life is dissolving of karma
Every living moment of ur life, if u live it totally, you dissolve enormous amounts of karma.
Living totally does not mean just having fun. Anything and everything that comes, u just experience it fully, intensely.

Amen. I will face it. I am not afraid. I am loved and if I need to face unloving people and circumstances. So be it, cos this time I am loved. Amen.