Heaven and Hell is in you

My question - when will I be free of suffering. When can I move beyond it? What more do I have to do?

My Osho Transformational reading for the week
1. Circumstances of ur life that u may no be aware.
Ultimate accident - It is not a certain sequence of causes that brings enlightenment. Your search, your intense longing, ur readiness to do anything - altogether perhaps they create a certain aroma around you in which that great accident becomes possible.
Once d great accident happen, u become awakened to the fact that everything was a reflection, an illusion because it was seen by the mind. All that could be done had been done. Nothing was left, you are ready. The ordinary incident become a trigger point.

Soul – Client recon is just 30% challenge vs last time cos I had my Temp Accountant and also d learning from previous recon. But I still feel bit of suffering and also tot of my staff. IT Exec, he really reminds me of myself. I asked again for God to heal my wound. Let me have an alternative tot. I surrender as I cannot find d answer despite searching for more than 10 years. The suffering has blunted but is still there and I cannot control external circumstances. At least let me control internal.

2. External u are aware
Worry - worry n suffering are created either by what u wanted to do in the past but could not do or by what u want to do in the future and don't know whether you will be able to do or not.
There is no suffering in the present - it is anxiety about past or future that disturbs the mind
The present is too small a moment that suffering cannot fit into it. In the present only heaven can fit, not hell. The present can only be peace.

Soul - yea, I was worried cos looking back at the past after years of searching, I still have not overcome. Looking into future, worried this would be my life. Worried I cannot be enlightened. Worried I am on d wrong track.

Osho - Why worry? U cannot miss it.
The moment u rest, u relax, u know that existence is already going. Drop ur whole achieving mind, all the ego projections. And then life is a mystery. Your eyes will full of wonder; your heart will be full of awe.
We are not to become something - we are already it.
This is the whole message of all the awakened ones; you are already where you should be. There is nowhere else to go, nothing to achieve. You can celebrate now.
Then there is no hurry, no anxiety, no anguish, no fear. You can't fail. In the very nature of things, it is impossible to fail, because there is no question of success at all.

Soul - amen. I was worried about the client recon cos found error in previous submission. Afraid I can't meet the deadline. Afraid I can't get the result that is favourable to us. Afraid I am not good enough. I am really not a figure person. I guess that is why I don't like to be put to test, always have to do reporting.

3. Inner influences, seed of transformation taking root within you.
Worth - don't be bothered too much abt utilitarian ends. Rather, constantly remembers that you are not here in life to become a commodity. You are not here to become a utility - that is below dignity. You are here to become more and more alive; to be more intelligent; to be more happy, ecstatically happy.
Don't try to prove your worth. There is no need. Remain useless and enjoy. Remain true to yourself.

Soul - noted but how do I go beyond it. There must be something I am not seeing and I am willing to see. Show me. I want to feel happy but circumstances doesn't allow me too. Previously, I used to suppress my emotion and now emotion is out, cannot be suppressed. So how can I contain my feelings. What can I do?

4. New level of understanding.
Mastery of moods.
Mornin n night comes daily, moving like a wheel., but u remain alert that u r not these things.
The same is the case with the mind. Anger comes, but u forget - u become anger. Sad comes, u forget and u feel suffering. This is unawareness.
Awareness is watching the mind full of sadness, u are simply a watcher. Then u can see the cloud of sadness rising, then dispersing --and u remain untouched. How long can it remain. Your sadness is momentary; it comes and it goes. Just watch and u will remain cool, calm and unaffected.
The most basic thing to remember is that when you are feeling good, in a mood of ecstasy, don't start thinking that it is going to be permanent state. Live the moment, enjoy it, knowing perfectly it has come and it will go - just like a breeze.
This is the most fundamental. If u start thinking in terms of making your ecstatic moments permanent, you have already started destroying them.
When they come, be grateful;
When they go, be thankful to existence.
Remain open, remain choiceless.
Yes, there will be moments when u will be miserable. So what? You are fortunate to have felt ecstasy.
Just like day and night, there are moments of joy and there are moments of sadness, accept them as part of the duality of nature, as the way things are. And you are simply a watcher, neither u become happiness nor you become misery.
Happiness comes and goes; Misery comes and goes. One thing remains, the watcher - the witness.
Slowly, slowly, get more centered into the watcher.
Once u r centered, everything u experience is a passing phenomenon.

Do not cling to any moment because it is beautiful and do not push away any moment because it is miserable.
Stop doing that. That u have been doing for lives.
You have not been successful yet and you will never be successful ever
The only way to go beyond, to remain beyond, is to find a place from where you can watch all these changing phenomena without getting identified.

Soul - Need to read Krishnamurti again.
I can finally see an alternative.

5. Key to integration - inner understanding that u need to work on.
The gates of hell - Heaven and hell are not geographical, they are psychological. Heaven and hell are not at the end of ur life, they are here and now
Every moment the door opens, every moment u go on wavering between heaven and hell. It is a moment-to-moment question, it is urgent; in a single moment you can move from hell to heaven, from heaven to hell.

Heaven and hell are within you. The doors are very close to each other; with the right hand u can open one, with the left hand, u can open another.
With just a change of mind, your being is transformed - from heaven to hell and from hell to heaven.
Whenever u act unconsciously, without awareness, u r in hell
Whenever u act consciously, whenever u act in full awareness, u r in Heaven

Ego is the drug, the intoxicant that makes u completely unconscious. You act, but the act comes from unconscious, not from your consciousness.
And whenever any act comes from unconsciousness, the door of hell is open.
Whatsoever you do, if u r not aware of what u r doing, the gate of hell opens.

Silence is the door. Inner peace is the door. Non violence is the door. Love and compassion are the doors

Do not push away