Fear to serve is Fear to love

This mornin, woke up feeling refreshed. Tot of my issue, then the harem word appears. Me, being so desperate that I can afford to be paired with anyone. Settling down is something else. I like to start but settling n stabling is my issue.

Tot of others with their anger issue, which I don't have. I have the harem issue n with God's help I will deal with it.

I also tot of Isha n this is something I can be involved in when I retire. I found my calling n I can also work as a recruiter.


Swami Rama
Stopping an unwanted behaviour is not going to help u much. U might stop one behaviour but there is still something at the root of the behaviour that you do not understand. Somewhere, there is an imbalance in how u manage ur primitive fountains: food, sleep, sex or self-preservation.

You are not aware of what you do or why. When you do something unconsciously, it means that your habit pattern is very deep and you are not aware of it. When you do things unconsciously, it means that you accept a kind of helplessness in that area and when you accept defeat, that's the worst thing that you can do to yourself. When you accept defeat in working with yourself, then you secretly condemn yourself and then, when someone said something you resent, you become offended.

Soul - feeling the need for a partner, feeling the fear of rejection, the fear of having and not wanting it. The fear of having a harem issue. I didn't want to go thru n jus want avoid it. I jus wan to accept I be alone as I have accepted defeat. I guess I am now ready and this time I will go to the root. I knew my abandonment n emotional issue but how it affected me is what I need to explore. Guess it is tine and guru pooja opened another door.

Swami Rama
All your fears will create problems for you as long as you separate urself and isolate yourself from that truth.
To be free from fear means to be obe with that truth; once you know the truth.

When u learn to do things for others, there are 4 aspects to the process;
1. You learn to give
2. You learn to love
3. You learn to be free
4. You learn to follow the law of karma.

If you do not follow this process, you cannot ever attenuate ur many desires.

You should allow ur good thoughts to be expressed through your actions. But many times your good thoughts are not fully expressed and in this way you constantly damage and kill that sensitive inner part of you which would help to bring about your own enlightenment and growth. Then a time comes when something negative builds up inside you because you are constantly hurting yourself. This is the greatest of all mistakes - to kill your consciousness.
So don't allow your consciousness to be enveloped by the dust of ignorance and don't shatter or damage your consciousness. Keep it clear by listening to it.

Soul - yea, apart from looking at my fear to love and to be loved. I be looking at my fear to serve/volunteer - fear to love. Father, yea. My fear to serve others voluntarily is my fear to love. Guide me more.

Afternoon
To serve is to love. To love others first so that I too can love myself.
I only dare to serve myself wit food and not other things.
That's is why food is so important for me.

Just now while sitting, my first tot is I love myself.

Only when I serve others that I am loving them;
Only when I can love others that I can love myself;
Only when I can love myself that I can believe others can love me too;