Wow now this week Osho card truly makes sense. Alas I will stop resisting and grow spiritually so that I can take care of my own heart. It is time to let go of the old pain of rejection by my mother. Be a woman and stand on my own feet.
Osho card - Control
To control the mind, one has to remain so cold and frozen that no life energy is allowed to move into your limbs, into your body. If energy is allowed to move, those repressions will surface. People don't feel each other's energy, don't allow each other to pour - very afraid, somehow just managing, cold and dead, in a straightjacket.
Soul - I used to think that of ex-boss and a good close friend. I told my friend that I can't feel her and that she is not expressing her feeling. She said others doesn't think so. I have known awhile back that it is a projection of my internal coldness (control mode), but this card reiterate the projection.
Evening
I have emailed to my Teacher that I wanted to do Shoonya meditation and she is happy for my progress. I told her that Sadhguru would knock my head for being so recalcitrant. She said he won't cos he only knocked those unconscious ones. She said Sadhguru would probably 'kill' me with a smile.
Today I got a King of Heart card and I was determined to make my heart whole again during the evening meditation.
Did the guru pooja for 3 rounds.
For the first time since I encountered guru pooja, it became a song of joy. I was happily singing in d 3rd song.
There were a bit of tears during meditation, more of tears of gratitude for being blessed. There was laughter n this time I felt my heart was laughing too. This is the first time since I did guru pooja that the crying has stopped.
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