Growing up and take care of my own Heart

Jus now while doing meditation, there were a string of tots, especially my resistance from Day 1. As usual, I ignore n resist once I found d slightest resistance.
Perhaps this is d control part of me. And since I put up d resistance, I am not exposed n hence didn't grow. Alas, I admit I didn't grow up.
What a journey. It was becos I finally had to grow up in work (doing tasks I dislike cos I deemed that as low value) that I had the exposure to grow up spiritually n yet I put up resistance.

Guru pooja broke it down. Now I am aware why I was so against it. Till now d passive resistance is there as I cannot sing d stanzas after gurur brahma, but d outward resistance is gone. I m controlled enough to continue.

After the string of resistance, suddenly tot of writing to my Teacher and said I will stand up to share on resistance from day 1 to how guru pooja broke down my wall of internal control. Still more walls to go thru, but alas the outer wall is broken, undone.

After telling Teacher all about my resistance, I finally tot of Sadhguru saying that I am to continue n I tot of doing Shoonya meditation this year n of course followed by spa.

Father, never had intention to pursue deeper into Isha program, infact a very heavy NO.
Yeah, jus do the Shoonya. Grow up n protect my heart in the correct way and not protect it by controlling.

Amen, thank God for guru pooja.

Really amazing, if I haven't done guru pooja, I won't continue. And I had no expectation of what guru pooja can do. I guess if I had, I wouldn't do it. God has big plans for me and its time I grow up to take care of my own heart.

No more seeking others to take care of my heart.

Why I meet Sixes (what am I to learn from them)
A Six person will budge only when they are ready. Attempts to change them usually meet with failure. (Soul - that's me me)
Six is symbolised by the Star of David, the two interlocking triangles, one pointing up, the other down. This symbolizes balance and peace. (Soul - I m wearing the Star of David pendant)
Six can hear "the voice within".
Their natural intuition and their ability to see things from both sides gives a great deal of intuition to all sixes. (Soul - that's me too)
It is those Sixes that listen to their inner voice who realise that they are here to bring others to the light. They find that their life has much more meaning than just getting by day-to-day and fulfilling their personal desires. (Soul - part of me know that my path n have been doing it when needed to with friends/colleague, but still not doing it willingly)
This is one of the cards that can attain the highest degree of material or spiritual success. On the other hand, they can get caught up in their complacency and never amount to anything. (Soul - this reminds me of myself too. I already knew I have d foundation to prosper in both material or spiritual world. But I didn't wan to change, didn't wan to move away from my safety parameter, jus wan to rest basically resist growing)

Six love to be in love, but often there are some childhood issue that impinge them on their ability to choose wisely. The tendency of a Six is to avoid their feelings and emotion that can make them appear emotional or upset. But these feelings are essential if the Six person is to truly understand their self and get to the bottom of the issues that influences them in their choice of relationship
(Soul - I can relate to that. I was brought in a family that put sad emotion as a weakness n not to be expressed. Also due to my childhood sexual molest case and d physical disconnection from my mother, even the fun part is controlled. I become an adult even before I was 12 yrs old.)

Soul – The Sixes I have met recently are my mirror. The Sixes card is sending me a message of my past, my control issue and my passive resistance, about being mediocre when I can become great. Father, u r great, thank you.