Sadhguru
When u fine-tune urself to such a point where everything functions so beautifully within u, naturally the best of ur abilities will just flow out of you.
When u r happy, ur energies always function better.
So, just knowing a little happiness is liberating u from ur normal limitations of energy and capability.
When ur body n mind function in a completely different state of relaxation and a certain level of blissfulness, u can be released from so many things that most people are suffering from.
If u gained a little bit of mastery over ur own energies, u will see, things u never imagined possible, u will do simply and naturally.
It is the inner technology of creating situations the way u want them.
Soul - Thanks for reminding me I have received d tools. Jus practice and trust in the Divine. U led me so far.
Deliberate Creation
If I am Eternal Being, then there must always be unfulfilled desire.
There will always be something that I have defined as desire that is yet to be manifested.
I am an Eternal Being and I will never get it done.
When u make peace with the knowledge that there will always never-ending, ever unfolding of that which is ur life experience, then u will not contract ur Desires and live joyously expanding, never complete.
If u can relax and understand that there will always be new unfulfilled desires, u can enjoy the fact that it is not all done, and look forward to the unfolding of it.
When ur circuits are wide open to the Source, u must thrive. U r clear minded, sure footed, u feel good and everything in ur experience is delicious.
Soul - similar to Sadhguru.
Deliberate Creation
U cannot really deactivate a tot, but u can activate other better feeling tot. And the more often u activate that better feelin tot, then the easier that tot, and othes similar tot comes to u.
There is no end to ur journey. You will never reach the place where u want to isolate yrself from the contrasting experience that causes u to focus.
What u r looking is creative control of ur own focus. We want u to train urself to feel good, no matter what.
We do not want people to treat u nicely and not hurt ur feelings so that u can feel good; we want ur feelings to be unhurtable.
We want u to be so aware that u can change the way u feel - jus by wanting to and by focusing - that u r now no longer fearful about what is going on out there in the world.
You are not afraid of dying; you are in love with living. You are not worried about people doing things that displeases u. You are in creative control of ur vibration and therefore u r in creative control of everything that happens to u.
You are free. But the only way u will ever perceive that freedom is understanding that u have the ability to feel good, no matter what.
And when u reach that place where fear is gone, u r in that place of freedom. Now u can go anywhere. Now u can have a wonderful time, no matter what, u see.
We want a child to be an adult who does not listen to anyone. We want all of you to be adults who are not so controverted by what everybody else thinks that you contradict your own vibration and disallow what u really want.
Soul – that’s how I felt when I judged the people at the Ashram. I don’t want to follow them as I think they follow blindly. How can they just surrender like that? Who are they surrendering to???
Afternoon
Mala called me to said that I m very lucky to have d meditative experience. And asked me not to worry cos others pray for such experience.
She also said Sadhguru said that what is more important the transformation after meditation. I told her that I agreed with Sadhguru. To me, the meditative experience is jus a release.
I hav loads of laugh via Shoonya n Shakti n even Suria Namaskara but no evidence of transformation yet per se, except I am more peaceful within.
Mala asked me if I had asked the teacher why I m so easily meditative. I said no cos I don't wan to know the answer. What if the answer requires me to be responsible and take action. I told her I asked only abt Shambavi.
Mala said then to ask Sadhguru. I said no way cos I don't want to bring attention and I am not ready to know the answer cos I think there is a big responsibility.
Part of me felt grateful for d meditative experience, but another part prefer not to have cos it comes with responsibility.
Actually I was planning to sit as far back as possible so I can experience Sadhguru without him knowing about me.
Deliberate Creation
Esther was jus someone who was bipping along living happily ever after, who happened to be married to someone who had insatiable questions.
Thru a process of meditation, she realised that she was receiving from Abraham. In the beginning, it was really startling to her because she could not believe it. Jerry recorded everything that Abraham has ever said.
Esther did not care how wonderful it was, she did not want anyone to know how weird she was.
And we think that that is the saddest part about all of this, because what that says is, those who have somehow stumbled upon the process that allows them to open to the Energy that creates worlds, allow that God Force to flow through them and to talk about enlightenment, are afraid because they are different from everyone else. They think that it is something that should be kept a secret. In other words, that is a big part of what keeps more people from having direct contact. You are made fun of.
So many people are afraid to be who they really are because when they are who they really are, they are so secure that the insecure ones around them try to keep them from being secure.
Those who do not know continue to outnumber those who do know, until those who knows refuse to admit that they know. And in time, u have an epidemic of those who seem not to know and then u say, "Why don't they know?". And we say, they knew. And they can know again. It just takes one or two here and there.
Soul - this is so me. When I was in KL, I tot since this is a small group, ok if I m the only one laughing and being so easily meditative. I assumed that there are loads of people like me elsewhere. When I attended Shoonya, abt 140 persons and also the daily guru pooja who are the seniors meditators, I too didn't see anyone like me. That make me feel m odd one out. And I jus wan to ignore what I have. I will continue to experience but wld just keep quiet abt it. I can't even let my family knows cos they think m loco.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
My journey still continues
Deliberate Creation
Your work is the balancing of Energy between ur most often active vibrations (beliefs) and your desires (intent).
The only thing that could ever prevent u from the joyous abundance of all good things u desire is ur own vibrational offering that takes u in the opposite direction of those things.
Your life is now, ur emotions are now, the way u feel is now.
Direct ur tots to improve ur now movement - and the manifestations will take care of themselves.
Today no matter where I am going, no matter what I am doing, no matter whom I am doing it with .... Nothing is more important that I feel good.
Today, I will look for that which I am wanting to see.
I am the Creator of my own reality.
Right now, I will reach for the best-feeling thought that I have access to.
Thought by thought and feeling by feeling, I will focus the vibrations of my mind into alignment.
I will feel for the true vibrational essence of my Being, and I will guide my every tot into vibrational alignment, for that is the true meaning of a balancing of Energy.
Soul I m on the right track
When I say goodbye to Vijii, this time I didn't promise to come back cos not sure if the path is for me. To me, Sadhguru's way is a tool for me, that's all.
Ironically, I looked at Patanjali, I saw Sadhguru's face n tot of his arrogance/cheekiness of using his face. When I told d ladies, the old aunt said that I will see whose face I want to pray to. That’s was bit disconcerting, especially since I was thinking I may not want to follow Sadhguru. Anyway, will keep an open mind to it. Who knows how I feel when I went to the Sathsang.
Afternoon
Sadhguru said our desires are unlimited and we r trying to fulfill it wit our limited physical self. Unless we become non-physical or unlimited, we would never fulfill our unlimited Desires. He said Life is expansion and Desires is jus following Life.
At least I know that I can't stop Desires. At least I know that I was stuck n now focus on expansion instead of contraction.
For me, m doing the meditation so that I can align wit my Source. Once I aligned, the Universe is mine to rule. Wow, that’s sound so boastful :)
Deliberate Creation
When u r aligned wit ur Source, u will experience bliss.
Soul - after shoonya and shakti, am laughing much more. I recall during the first 3 shakti, I was crying uncontrollably, guess there was another door being broken and hence I can now laugh even more. Frankly, don't know why I laugh. I know I feel good, but don't know why. I wonder if the abv explain my experience. Suddenly tot of Sadhguru, I wonder abt d sathsang. Wonder how I wld feel in his presence. On Dhyanalinga, I didn't really like it cos its pulling me. But with Vijii, is jus lovingly enveloping me.
Deliberate Creation
When u r in vibrational alignment with ur Source, whatever u r focused on is receiving the focus of the Energy Stream that creates the world. The power of that alignment cannot be adequately expressed in words, but u can feel it. You feel it in ur joy, love, exuberance and passion.
Soul - hei, that's what I felt, joy, love and exuberance. The passion I only felt last week. I was thinking something wrong wit me, why I was feeling so passionate during meditation. I tot I lost it n was afraid. Looks like m on the right track.
Deliberate Creation
You are only powerless if u r not in alignment wit ur power, and only u possess the key to that alignment. No one can take that from u. It is yours to hold.
So ur work, ur only work (but it is ur steady work, for it is work that cannot be completed). Is a constant awareness of the vibrational relationship between ur focus in this moment and the focus of ur Inner Being in this moment.
You cannot activate something wanted and something unwanted at the same time. It is one or the other - and ur emotions are very clear about which way u r focused.
Soul - no wonder m stuck cos I focus on both.
Deliberate Creation
No matter how the emotion feels, good or bad, soft or strong, smile in recognised pride at ur awareness of the emotion and of its meaning to u. Acknowledge that it is a vibrational indicator pointing out to you your alignment to your Source and your desires.
No matter what the current emotion within you; feel glad for ur awareness of it and know that anytime, anyplace, and under any circumstances that you choose, u can choose thoughts to improve ur emotion, and therefore improve the vibrational relativity between you and You.
See urself as Energy. See ur Source as Energy. Be ever aware of the vibrational relationship of those Energies.
Make peace with where u are on every subject in your life, understanding that from there you can go anywhere u choose.
If u condemn ur current position, or feel guilty or blame about where u stand, ur future will offer little change at all.
But as you soften your discomfort and try to improve the way you feel just a little bit, ur vibration will begin to shift, the Law of Attraction will help the momentum to continue, and you can get to where u want to be in a very short period of time.
Be easy wit urself. Everyday, say to yourself, Nothing is more important than that I feel good. The better I feel, the more I am allowing all of the wonderful things of life to flow to me.
There is great love here for u.
Soul - I m slowly doing that. I m glad to able to feel my emotion n then exercise emotional control
I now start to feel love outside meditation. Amen.
Your work is the balancing of Energy between ur most often active vibrations (beliefs) and your desires (intent).
The only thing that could ever prevent u from the joyous abundance of all good things u desire is ur own vibrational offering that takes u in the opposite direction of those things.
Your life is now, ur emotions are now, the way u feel is now.
Direct ur tots to improve ur now movement - and the manifestations will take care of themselves.
Today no matter where I am going, no matter what I am doing, no matter whom I am doing it with .... Nothing is more important that I feel good.
Today, I will look for that which I am wanting to see.
I am the Creator of my own reality.
Right now, I will reach for the best-feeling thought that I have access to.
Thought by thought and feeling by feeling, I will focus the vibrations of my mind into alignment.
I will feel for the true vibrational essence of my Being, and I will guide my every tot into vibrational alignment, for that is the true meaning of a balancing of Energy.
Soul I m on the right track
When I say goodbye to Vijii, this time I didn't promise to come back cos not sure if the path is for me. To me, Sadhguru's way is a tool for me, that's all.
Ironically, I looked at Patanjali, I saw Sadhguru's face n tot of his arrogance/cheekiness of using his face. When I told d ladies, the old aunt said that I will see whose face I want to pray to. That’s was bit disconcerting, especially since I was thinking I may not want to follow Sadhguru. Anyway, will keep an open mind to it. Who knows how I feel when I went to the Sathsang.
Afternoon
Sadhguru said our desires are unlimited and we r trying to fulfill it wit our limited physical self. Unless we become non-physical or unlimited, we would never fulfill our unlimited Desires. He said Life is expansion and Desires is jus following Life.
At least I know that I can't stop Desires. At least I know that I was stuck n now focus on expansion instead of contraction.
For me, m doing the meditation so that I can align wit my Source. Once I aligned, the Universe is mine to rule. Wow, that’s sound so boastful :)
Deliberate Creation
When u r aligned wit ur Source, u will experience bliss.
Soul - after shoonya and shakti, am laughing much more. I recall during the first 3 shakti, I was crying uncontrollably, guess there was another door being broken and hence I can now laugh even more. Frankly, don't know why I laugh. I know I feel good, but don't know why. I wonder if the abv explain my experience. Suddenly tot of Sadhguru, I wonder abt d sathsang. Wonder how I wld feel in his presence. On Dhyanalinga, I didn't really like it cos its pulling me. But with Vijii, is jus lovingly enveloping me.
Deliberate Creation
When u r in vibrational alignment with ur Source, whatever u r focused on is receiving the focus of the Energy Stream that creates the world. The power of that alignment cannot be adequately expressed in words, but u can feel it. You feel it in ur joy, love, exuberance and passion.
Soul - hei, that's what I felt, joy, love and exuberance. The passion I only felt last week. I was thinking something wrong wit me, why I was feeling so passionate during meditation. I tot I lost it n was afraid. Looks like m on the right track.
Deliberate Creation
You are only powerless if u r not in alignment wit ur power, and only u possess the key to that alignment. No one can take that from u. It is yours to hold.
So ur work, ur only work (but it is ur steady work, for it is work that cannot be completed). Is a constant awareness of the vibrational relationship between ur focus in this moment and the focus of ur Inner Being in this moment.
You cannot activate something wanted and something unwanted at the same time. It is one or the other - and ur emotions are very clear about which way u r focused.
Soul - no wonder m stuck cos I focus on both.
Deliberate Creation
No matter how the emotion feels, good or bad, soft or strong, smile in recognised pride at ur awareness of the emotion and of its meaning to u. Acknowledge that it is a vibrational indicator pointing out to you your alignment to your Source and your desires.
No matter what the current emotion within you; feel glad for ur awareness of it and know that anytime, anyplace, and under any circumstances that you choose, u can choose thoughts to improve ur emotion, and therefore improve the vibrational relativity between you and You.
See urself as Energy. See ur Source as Energy. Be ever aware of the vibrational relationship of those Energies.
Make peace with where u are on every subject in your life, understanding that from there you can go anywhere u choose.
If u condemn ur current position, or feel guilty or blame about where u stand, ur future will offer little change at all.
But as you soften your discomfort and try to improve the way you feel just a little bit, ur vibration will begin to shift, the Law of Attraction will help the momentum to continue, and you can get to where u want to be in a very short period of time.
Be easy wit urself. Everyday, say to yourself, Nothing is more important than that I feel good. The better I feel, the more I am allowing all of the wonderful things of life to flow to me.
There is great love here for u.
Soul - I m slowly doing that. I m glad to able to feel my emotion n then exercise emotional control
I now start to feel love outside meditation. Amen.
My name - the one who knows; the one who understand??
I am glad I went to the Ashram, a good break, away from hustle and bustle of the world.
M feelin bit calmer. At first when I saw the sms on reporter, felt put upon but then tot that I wil do what I can. Anyway, m not as committed as them. Tot of me n mom, cannot be committed to spiritual work, mom is committed to family and me, to work.
Do I want to commit to my office work now? I questioned that. My job. I don't really care abt it. Worst case, I can just fly off to Ashram n live there as a volunteer. Anyway, won't reach that level but it is an option. I m no longer willing to give my commitment to work, but to redirect it to me.
Deliberate Creation
Many people believe that day dreaming or fantasizing is a frivolous use of time. We see it as utilising ur Emotional Guidance System for the purpose of directing the power of ur mind to activate the vibration, which is ur point of attraction.
There is not a great difference between remembering and imagining. When u focus positively, apart from whatever is happening right now, u can activate a vibration that will attract something different into ur experience.
But if u insist on giving ur attention only to the reality that exists, then nothing can change.
Soul - I used to be afraid when I found myself day dreaming cos its frivolous and wil only raise my hope and set me up for disappointment. We'll, now I wil daydream.
In the Ashram, many people asked me the meaning of my name. My name - :"Hui" the one who knows, "Ming" the one who understand. All of them said my name is good for me and very appropriate.
As, Ambikaar said, in the right place.
Osho for the week
1. Issue. Innocence
If u drop all that has been given by others, u will hav a totally different quality to ur being ; innocence. U wil become a child again, reborn. Its a time of letting go of ur personality.
Pink flowers cascade around his presence, a reflection of his own qualities. The innocence of a life lived fully has a quality of wisdom and acceptance of the ever-changing wonder of life.
2. Internal Influence
Existence. U r not accidental. Existence needs u. Existence cares for u. Once u r clean and clear, u can see tremendous love falling on u from all dimensions.
U wil know Home is not a physical place in the outside world, but an inner quality of relaxation and acceptance.
3. External influence u r aware.
Letting Go - in Existence, there is nobody who is superior and nobody who is inferior. The innocent person is one who has renounced fighting; who is no longer interested in being higher, is no longer interestes in performing, in proving that he is someone special. Who has melted and merged with the Ocean. Who has no idea of "I". The disappearance of "I" is innocence.
To choose this card - u r past the point of no return now and gravity is doing its work. Go with it - it represents liberation.
Soul - very timely. After I did shoonya - emptiness and now ok wit vege food for lunch and now I m meeting Sadhguru for the bridge burning.
4. What is needed for resolution
Ordinariness
Whenever, whatever situations, u become one, a peace, a happiness, a bliss surrounds u. There is no need to wait for these moments - these moments can become ur natural life.
Jus taking things easily and simply, one step at a time.
Soul - I tot of Shoonya and my feeling of being One with Source. I felt joy and completeness. I will now do it during office hour.
5. The resolution.
Adventure. Truth is radical, personal realisation. U have to come to it. Insecuritu is the only way to grow, to face danger is the only way to grow, to accept the challenge of the unknown is the only way to grow.
Walk like a child, full of trust, out of darkness of the forest into the rainbow of light, we go step by step, drawn by our sense of wonder into the unknown.
M feelin bit calmer. At first when I saw the sms on reporter, felt put upon but then tot that I wil do what I can. Anyway, m not as committed as them. Tot of me n mom, cannot be committed to spiritual work, mom is committed to family and me, to work.
Do I want to commit to my office work now? I questioned that. My job. I don't really care abt it. Worst case, I can just fly off to Ashram n live there as a volunteer. Anyway, won't reach that level but it is an option. I m no longer willing to give my commitment to work, but to redirect it to me.
Deliberate Creation
Many people believe that day dreaming or fantasizing is a frivolous use of time. We see it as utilising ur Emotional Guidance System for the purpose of directing the power of ur mind to activate the vibration, which is ur point of attraction.
There is not a great difference between remembering and imagining. When u focus positively, apart from whatever is happening right now, u can activate a vibration that will attract something different into ur experience.
But if u insist on giving ur attention only to the reality that exists, then nothing can change.
Soul - I used to be afraid when I found myself day dreaming cos its frivolous and wil only raise my hope and set me up for disappointment. We'll, now I wil daydream.
In the Ashram, many people asked me the meaning of my name. My name - :"Hui" the one who knows, "Ming" the one who understand. All of them said my name is good for me and very appropriate.
As, Ambikaar said, in the right place.
Osho for the week
1. Issue. Innocence
If u drop all that has been given by others, u will hav a totally different quality to ur being ; innocence. U wil become a child again, reborn. Its a time of letting go of ur personality.
Pink flowers cascade around his presence, a reflection of his own qualities. The innocence of a life lived fully has a quality of wisdom and acceptance of the ever-changing wonder of life.
2. Internal Influence
Existence. U r not accidental. Existence needs u. Existence cares for u. Once u r clean and clear, u can see tremendous love falling on u from all dimensions.
U wil know Home is not a physical place in the outside world, but an inner quality of relaxation and acceptance.
3. External influence u r aware.
Letting Go - in Existence, there is nobody who is superior and nobody who is inferior. The innocent person is one who has renounced fighting; who is no longer interested in being higher, is no longer interestes in performing, in proving that he is someone special. Who has melted and merged with the Ocean. Who has no idea of "I". The disappearance of "I" is innocence.
To choose this card - u r past the point of no return now and gravity is doing its work. Go with it - it represents liberation.
Soul - very timely. After I did shoonya - emptiness and now ok wit vege food for lunch and now I m meeting Sadhguru for the bridge burning.
4. What is needed for resolution
Ordinariness
Whenever, whatever situations, u become one, a peace, a happiness, a bliss surrounds u. There is no need to wait for these moments - these moments can become ur natural life.
Jus taking things easily and simply, one step at a time.
Soul - I tot of Shoonya and my feeling of being One with Source. I felt joy and completeness. I will now do it during office hour.
5. The resolution.
Adventure. Truth is radical, personal realisation. U have to come to it. Insecuritu is the only way to grow, to face danger is the only way to grow, to accept the challenge of the unknown is the only way to grow.
Walk like a child, full of trust, out of darkness of the forest into the rainbow of light, we go step by step, drawn by our sense of wonder into the unknown.
Not sure if Sadhguru is the way for me....i just want to follow my own path
Today is my last day, lovely time wit Vijii and good time at guru pooja.
While I think Sadhguru is great and at times I revered n salute him and very grateful, but I stop short of praying which is what they do.
On the home school. They teaching children to sing guru pooja and to pray to him. That I don't think is right. Children shld jus be themselves. They shld gather their own will n not be subjected to another. I think Sadhguru forgot how he came about. He has total freedom as a child and that is why he now has total freedom as an adult. I believe to gather ur own will and if along the way is shift direction, that's is fine too cos whatever it is, with a strong will u can come back. Not exposing them to reality, give them a false will.
Let's look at the last Osho card.
Authenticity.
The real thing is not a path. The real thing is the authenticity of the seeker. You can travel on any path. Even if the path u take is easy. If u r sincere and authentic, u will reach the goal. And the opposite is also true; no matter what path u follow, if u r not authentic, u will not reach anywhere, even if u took the most hard path.
Soul. I already overcome my dilemma on volunteering and for now m ok that is not my path. The matter of vegeterian food is brought up. It is like this thing seems to be the basic requisite. I was in a small dilemma. Wasn't shaken up cos there is no way I give it up both for my pleasure and also my family.
The second thing is Sadghuru's path. I am thankful he tot me meditation n let me to be centred but m not keen to follow him. I am not keen on this path. What I see in Sadhguru, is the meditation tool, the opening and strengthening of Source Energy, the silencing of my shitty mind and the remembrance that my tots are not me. This is what I take from him. As the hatta and Samyama, am not keen.
Anyway, this reminded me jus b myself.
While I think Sadhguru is great and at times I revered n salute him and very grateful, but I stop short of praying which is what they do.
On the home school. They teaching children to sing guru pooja and to pray to him. That I don't think is right. Children shld jus be themselves. They shld gather their own will n not be subjected to another. I think Sadhguru forgot how he came about. He has total freedom as a child and that is why he now has total freedom as an adult. I believe to gather ur own will and if along the way is shift direction, that's is fine too cos whatever it is, with a strong will u can come back. Not exposing them to reality, give them a false will.
Let's look at the last Osho card.
Authenticity.
The real thing is not a path. The real thing is the authenticity of the seeker. You can travel on any path. Even if the path u take is easy. If u r sincere and authentic, u will reach the goal. And the opposite is also true; no matter what path u follow, if u r not authentic, u will not reach anywhere, even if u took the most hard path.
Soul. I already overcome my dilemma on volunteering and for now m ok that is not my path. The matter of vegeterian food is brought up. It is like this thing seems to be the basic requisite. I was in a small dilemma. Wasn't shaken up cos there is no way I give it up both for my pleasure and also my family.
The second thing is Sadghuru's path. I am thankful he tot me meditation n let me to be centred but m not keen to follow him. I am not keen on this path. What I see in Sadhguru, is the meditation tool, the opening and strengthening of Source Energy, the silencing of my shitty mind and the remembrance that my tots are not me. This is what I take from him. As the hatta and Samyama, am not keen.
Anyway, this reminded me jus b myself.
Which yoga path am I supposed to be in?
Sadhguru
Bhakti - full of emotion and love, thinks anything else is just a waste of time. Just love God and it will happen.
Gnana - intellectual, thinking person has complete disdain for everybody else.
Karma - action - thinks everybody is lazy and that they have all kinds of fancy philosophies; what needs to be done is work. One must work and work.
Kriya - energy - just laughs at everything. The whole existence is energy. If u don't transform ur energy, whether u long for God or u long for anything, nothing is going to happen.
Soul - when I was back in Msia, I used to think that it was normal to laugh during meditation until my good friend told me it is not. It is a grace that m laughing and everyone is envious of me. In BSP, there were also some laughter. But in shoonya (140 person) no one is laughing n these are old timers.
I was telling Leslie perhaps something is wrong with me. Why I have so much issue and need so much release.
Especially now in Shoonya, tears start to fell again. Of course, laughter is also more.
I have been asking why so much tears? I tot I have released all during Shambavi. Even yday in Teethakoon, I was also crying. I was also wondering abt my issue in volunteering - action. I have always don't like to work menial tasks. I even told my parents I don't want to do housework and instead I will work using my brain and find money to hire maid cos I don't believe m meant to work.
And now here, everyone seems to hav to work. Perhaps there is more Karma and Bhakti yoga here.
Anyway, I always tot m Gnana yoga but I wasn't able to reach anywhere and now suddenly reading this page Kriya yoga laughs at everything - which is so me. So, I don't have to beat myself up for not having prayerful devotion (bhakti) and for not wanting to volunteer action (karma).
I am a mixture of Kriya and Gnana and of late more of Kriya.
Now I see. The last card on Osho - Authenticity. The path does not matter as long as the Seeker is authentic and sincere, u will reach the Goal.
Some path is hard, some path is light n green. It doesn't matter. Even if u follow the wrong Guru, also doesn't matter.
Am so glad. I am at ease now. Jus be who I am, the Laughing Kriya. Even if my steps are not ok, doesn't matter cos I am sincere.
.
Bhakti - full of emotion and love, thinks anything else is just a waste of time. Just love God and it will happen.
Gnana - intellectual, thinking person has complete disdain for everybody else.
Karma - action - thinks everybody is lazy and that they have all kinds of fancy philosophies; what needs to be done is work. One must work and work.
Kriya - energy - just laughs at everything. The whole existence is energy. If u don't transform ur energy, whether u long for God or u long for anything, nothing is going to happen.
Soul - when I was back in Msia, I used to think that it was normal to laugh during meditation until my good friend told me it is not. It is a grace that m laughing and everyone is envious of me. In BSP, there were also some laughter. But in shoonya (140 person) no one is laughing n these are old timers.
I was telling Leslie perhaps something is wrong with me. Why I have so much issue and need so much release.
Especially now in Shoonya, tears start to fell again. Of course, laughter is also more.
I have been asking why so much tears? I tot I have released all during Shambavi. Even yday in Teethakoon, I was also crying. I was also wondering abt my issue in volunteering - action. I have always don't like to work menial tasks. I even told my parents I don't want to do housework and instead I will work using my brain and find money to hire maid cos I don't believe m meant to work.
And now here, everyone seems to hav to work. Perhaps there is more Karma and Bhakti yoga here.
Anyway, I always tot m Gnana yoga but I wasn't able to reach anywhere and now suddenly reading this page Kriya yoga laughs at everything - which is so me. So, I don't have to beat myself up for not having prayerful devotion (bhakti) and for not wanting to volunteer action (karma).
I am a mixture of Kriya and Gnana and of late more of Kriya.
Now I see. The last card on Osho - Authenticity. The path does not matter as long as the Seeker is authentic and sincere, u will reach the Goal.
Some path is hard, some path is light n green. It doesn't matter. Even if u follow the wrong Guru, also doesn't matter.
Am so glad. I am at ease now. Jus be who I am, the Laughing Kriya. Even if my steps are not ok, doesn't matter cos I am sincere.
.
Shoonya
Father, shoonya is great. I also like Suria Namaskara (sun salutation). I recalled that I hated Suria Namaskara during yoga classes and I always avoid doing it.
Surprisingly Shakti Charana Kriya is good. I can go easily into meditation.
I now realise that I have resisted learning the Indian name for all the kriya and asanas cos I don't want to be attached. Again, not wanting to pass.
At first, I was stil not truly participating during the Shoonya initiation. I am not sure if I would have experience. Also, afraid to experience. Again, another classic case of I don wan to pass.
The spiritual discourse before the initiation, Sadhguru spoke on the example of the monk and the prostitute. That hit me as this is the same Osho card I have received before I went to the Shoonya program.
So, I broke down and cried and then open up.
Jus went thru my Osho card again and noted 3rd card - seed of transformation m not aware of - No Mind
The state of no-mind is the state of the divine. God is not a thought but the experience of thoughtlessness. It is not a content in the mind; it is the explosion when the mind is content-less. It is the sky when there is no cloud. It is that empty sky.
Coincidentally Shoonya meditation is Emptiness
Osho - Energy. Either u make ur energy creative or it will turn sour and become destructive. Energy is a dangerous thing - if u have it, u hav to use it creatively. Otherwise, sooner or later u will find it become destructive.
Soul - at first tot if this is warning me to volunteer or warning me to find an outlet so that the Energy I found won't be bad for me. But bit silly, right?
2nd phrase - growth of consciousness. That is definitely happening to me as I now can feel even more. Yday during BSP, when I saw the hundreds of men, I tot this is it. Sadhguru is trying to get these men to open up and know themselves so they won't continue to suffer. To hurt themselves and others. This too is my journey. Tears start to welt in me.
Suddenly a tot came on why I resist volunteering - it means surrender. Giving up to authority. Something which I don't like. It means I m no longer in control.
Evening
Today I went into kitchen to help to cut vegetables. I was quite industrious, manage to sharpen the knife at the basin, and even tot of a new way to cut vege and henceforth very fast. Only one guy followed me. The rest still the same. Leslie said that cutting vege is reducing karma. So, perhaps they stil wan to stick to slow way as a form of 'punishment or pay back". Not sensible.
Then went to Teetakhoon, had a great time. Now, even the old dragon smile and welcomes me. Surprisingly today I was in tears. Not sure why though.
M glad I stayed. Today, someone ask me to help out with the flowers n I agreed. As usual, if it is to help anyone without being tied down, m fine. Today opening the lotus flower, I like it too n main thing is I can leave anytime I wan to. No bond to tie me. Volunteer - commitment which I can't give now cos all given to work.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
New beginning - Expansion instead of Contraction
Yday meditation, I was crying, not sure why. Then it was followed by deep silence n towards d end laughter.
This morning, loads of laughter. This is d most laughter I ever experienced for mornin meditation and it ended at 6.59 am, one of the longest.
Before I start I tot of my advice to the gal who told me that she has no experiences but she has been diligently doing and I told her that my mornin meditation also d same but I discovered d trick is to be in Happy state before u start meditation n d experience will be more. I know that when I started, I try to be cheerful, but too sleepy to do so n so settle for a tot that yeah, I don't enjoy it but the mornin meditation help to fasten n fast track my desire of my rich loving and spiritual husband. So, I will proceed n even wit that tot it gives me loads of laughter.
So even if u cannot do the meditation Joyfully (in the evening), at least do it
Appreciatively (in the morning). As long u don't do it like a chore out of guilt n create resentment, any other approach is ok.
Yday, I took the opportunity to discuss on staff costs issue and drop in revenue. It went very well. I told CEO that I was feeling worried that I brought her bad news. She said not to worry as I am doing my job. Also she said it is a good meeting. She also concur with me on my Action Plan.
I recalled I dreaded the meeting for more than 2 weeks n so did the GM. It is only on Monday tat I had a reverse tot that the CEO will be able to achieve the revenue required. Then on Tue, since she wan the staff costs, I prompted the discussion wit her n she took it well.
So, all in all, it goes well n I know I can go on Shoonya wit ease.
Deliberate Intent
Creation by Default when we offer most of our vibrations in response to the reality that they are observing rather than in response to the reality that they prefer.
There is something so compelling about what has already materialised into ur experience. You call it reality; you call it fact; u call it evidence; you call it proof. You document it in writing and with pictures and u call it history.
In doing all of that, you OVERLOOK the absolutely TEMPORARY nature of whatever it is.
Soul – Same msg as my this week Osho – This too shall pass….amen
Deliberate Intent
You have allowed your "reality" to hold a more dominant place in ur perception of life than it deserves, and by your ardent attention to your current "reality", you slow your progress to the reception of even more "pleasing now" experiences.
NOW is mostly only the platform from which you move into what is NEXT. And LIFE is really about the MOVING into what is next.
We want u to recall the delicious nature of focusing upon the SENSATION of CREATING YOUR OWN REALITY rather than giving so much attention to the REALITY THAT YOU ARE CREATING. Can u feel the distinction?
Soul - when I tot of creation, I felt anticipation n a sense of wonder that I have so much power n felt delirious.
After creation, my state would depend whether I like or dislike the creation - results/outcome which is stagnant or ended, a completion
Deliberate Intent
Focus upon the SENSATION of MOVING to a better-feeling place rather than focusing upon the REALITY that seems to have concluded.
There are 2 Journeys that are running along concurrently in ur experience as u moves through your day;
1. The Action Journey - so called reality
2. The Emotional Journey - the emotion that u r choosing to feel
For a little while, set aside ur Action Journey and focus on ur Emotional Journey. Choose to the better-feeling emotion to feel irrespective of ur reality and then the vibrational point of attraction would begin to change. And in doing that the physical condition would begin to change.
You cannot continue to offer the same vibration that got you to where you are, and now get to someplace different. You have to do something different with your attention, with your focus, and with your vibration.
Soul - Madness is doing the same thing over and over again and expect different results.
I am hopeful d Company condition would change cos now I am offering hopeful Expansion instead of Contraction. The first sign was yday meeting with JC which was positive instead negative. Amen.
Example
Action journey - painful hips
Emotional journey - feeling
A. She has painful arthritic hips and feels fear, anger, worry, blame or despair
B. Sh e has painful arthritic hips and feels hope.
Soul - I am excited...on my journey on expansion mode. This 3 weeks, I have start to cook every Sunday...and i like it..i have started to be aware whenever my tot/judgement/wishes are on contraction mode..
I now have alternative positive tot to every negative tot...
I now have the power..
Like I tot about few weeks back when I finished reading Ask and it is given. My difficulty/challenges would be in being aware of my feeling from moment to moment..
As for taking charge to change the tot to create different feeling..that will be easy for me cos I am used to be in control of my feeling..
With isha meditation, I am more aware of my feeling...which is the 1st step...the 2nd step will be easy...Amen
I am looking forward to shoonya this weekend!
What a journey..since Guru pooja to now...
And Yasmin's blog..Just continue Digging..and let God's truth comes out on his own..really hits me. I now stop (at the moment :) asking what, how, when is my transformation coming..my role is just to dig...
Same advice from Sadhguru...when the mango tree is ready to bear fruit it will..but Yamsin's blog tells me even the fruit also i won't know...
Amen...
This morning, loads of laughter. This is d most laughter I ever experienced for mornin meditation and it ended at 6.59 am, one of the longest.
Before I start I tot of my advice to the gal who told me that she has no experiences but she has been diligently doing and I told her that my mornin meditation also d same but I discovered d trick is to be in Happy state before u start meditation n d experience will be more. I know that when I started, I try to be cheerful, but too sleepy to do so n so settle for a tot that yeah, I don't enjoy it but the mornin meditation help to fasten n fast track my desire of my rich loving and spiritual husband. So, I will proceed n even wit that tot it gives me loads of laughter.
So even if u cannot do the meditation Joyfully (in the evening), at least do it
Appreciatively (in the morning). As long u don't do it like a chore out of guilt n create resentment, any other approach is ok.
Yday, I took the opportunity to discuss on staff costs issue and drop in revenue. It went very well. I told CEO that I was feeling worried that I brought her bad news. She said not to worry as I am doing my job. Also she said it is a good meeting. She also concur with me on my Action Plan.
I recalled I dreaded the meeting for more than 2 weeks n so did the GM. It is only on Monday tat I had a reverse tot that the CEO will be able to achieve the revenue required. Then on Tue, since she wan the staff costs, I prompted the discussion wit her n she took it well.
So, all in all, it goes well n I know I can go on Shoonya wit ease.
Deliberate Intent
Creation by Default when we offer most of our vibrations in response to the reality that they are observing rather than in response to the reality that they prefer.
There is something so compelling about what has already materialised into ur experience. You call it reality; you call it fact; u call it evidence; you call it proof. You document it in writing and with pictures and u call it history.
In doing all of that, you OVERLOOK the absolutely TEMPORARY nature of whatever it is.
Soul – Same msg as my this week Osho – This too shall pass….amen
Deliberate Intent
You have allowed your "reality" to hold a more dominant place in ur perception of life than it deserves, and by your ardent attention to your current "reality", you slow your progress to the reception of even more "pleasing now" experiences.
NOW is mostly only the platform from which you move into what is NEXT. And LIFE is really about the MOVING into what is next.
We want u to recall the delicious nature of focusing upon the SENSATION of CREATING YOUR OWN REALITY rather than giving so much attention to the REALITY THAT YOU ARE CREATING. Can u feel the distinction?
Soul - when I tot of creation, I felt anticipation n a sense of wonder that I have so much power n felt delirious.
After creation, my state would depend whether I like or dislike the creation - results/outcome which is stagnant or ended, a completion
Deliberate Intent
Focus upon the SENSATION of MOVING to a better-feeling place rather than focusing upon the REALITY that seems to have concluded.
There are 2 Journeys that are running along concurrently in ur experience as u moves through your day;
1. The Action Journey - so called reality
2. The Emotional Journey - the emotion that u r choosing to feel
For a little while, set aside ur Action Journey and focus on ur Emotional Journey. Choose to the better-feeling emotion to feel irrespective of ur reality and then the vibrational point of attraction would begin to change. And in doing that the physical condition would begin to change.
You cannot continue to offer the same vibration that got you to where you are, and now get to someplace different. You have to do something different with your attention, with your focus, and with your vibration.
Soul - Madness is doing the same thing over and over again and expect different results.
I am hopeful d Company condition would change cos now I am offering hopeful Expansion instead of Contraction. The first sign was yday meeting with JC which was positive instead negative. Amen.
Example
Action journey - painful hips
Emotional journey - feeling
A. She has painful arthritic hips and feels fear, anger, worry, blame or despair
B. Sh e has painful arthritic hips and feels hope.
Soul - I am excited...on my journey on expansion mode. This 3 weeks, I have start to cook every Sunday...and i like it..i have started to be aware whenever my tot/judgement/wishes are on contraction mode..
I now have alternative positive tot to every negative tot...
I now have the power..
Like I tot about few weeks back when I finished reading Ask and it is given. My difficulty/challenges would be in being aware of my feeling from moment to moment..
As for taking charge to change the tot to create different feeling..that will be easy for me cos I am used to be in control of my feeling..
With isha meditation, I am more aware of my feeling...which is the 1st step...the 2nd step will be easy...Amen
I am looking forward to shoonya this weekend!
What a journey..since Guru pooja to now...
And Yasmin's blog..Just continue Digging..and let God's truth comes out on his own..really hits me. I now stop (at the moment :) asking what, how, when is my transformation coming..my role is just to dig...
Same advice from Sadhguru...when the mango tree is ready to bear fruit it will..but Yamsin's blog tells me even the fruit also i won't know...
Amen...
The most important is for me to feel good!
Aug 3
Father, thank u.
Like I said, d best thing is expansion, we got new biz of to replace the biz lost.
But part of me thinks the CEO’s pebble should be bigger than mine and hence I cannot change the situation.
So, for now, I jus wished that I won't get sucked into this dilemma. Whatever happens, m fine. Also to remember that I can have Regional as back up. As Regional boss said, I am the gatekeeper.
Suddenly tot of rental. Aiuah, never mind, my financial security is not affected by it cos the net 650 is jus saving for me n hence won't affect my lifestyle.
Good thing is I want to continue making a dish every Sunday. I want my family to savour my creation. M glad I started it. Makes me fulfilled.
Yday d Korean drama abt 40 year old Doctor and Engineer, both not married. D guy love food, jus like me. Comfortable eating alone and savouring the food, so much like me. He said he is comfortable not married. Lots of people view marriage as the end goal in life n hence feel insecure if they didn't get reach their goal. So, d way to feel secure is just to change ur goal post. Clever.
Deliberate Creation
When u make the effort to come into closer vibrational alignment with that Non-Physical part of urself, u open urself to that wisdom, love, Well-Being and power. When u r in alignment with ur Source, u experience clarity, vitality, enthusiasm, passion, and Well Being that is natural to u.
The better u feel, the more u r allowing ur Connection to ur Source.
The worse u feel, the less u r allowing ur Connection to ur Source.
No one can get inside u and offer ur vibration for u, for it is only ur own vibrational offering that affects ur personal experience.
Nothing is more important that u feel good. Then u have now decided to deliberately manage the vibrational relationship between u and ur Source.
You have decided to use the Guidance system that u were born with to monitor and control the vibrational relativity between ur current focus and subsequent vibration, and that of ur Being.
You have decided to tend to ur Connection with ur Source. You have decided to thrive rather than pinch off ur Connection.
You have chosen clarity; vitality; eagerness, abundance of all things you consider to be good and joyful.
Soul
Me, what is my goal? To be enlighten and to guide others too. To share my love n knowledge.
I want to be safe to do the right thing. I want not to be coerced into doing wrong thing. Protecting the company is more important than protecting myself. Especially in this case, even if cut to 50 headcounts, my position still secure. I want to be the Gatekeeper. I will hail out to Regional if pressed.
That is what I want.
The outcome is not important. What is important is I stand my ground as a Gatekeeper.
Deliberate Creation
When u care about how u feel, and u deliberately try to look at things in ways that feel better n better to u. Then u will allow more and resist less - the circumstances and events of ur life will begin to reflect those changes immediately.
Relief - releasing of resistance - allowing
Soul
When I was in d toilet. I said forget abt judging n projection. My issue is I was not able to stand firm as a Gate Keeper. Don't blame CEO and others for not bringing in new biz. Don't blame them for their self denial. Don't blame them for not taking responsibility to do a cut off their salary. Jus looked at myself n where I stand as a Gatekeeper.
I used to pride myself as Problem solver, irrespective of the situation n my integrity is shaken. Well, no more.
Here I tot I hav professional integrity but I hav not as my job validates me more.
I am at ease now, not projecting on the CEO and GM or myself.
This is an extreme contrast situation to make me aware n choose again n come back to What I am - fearlessness of not meeting expectation, fearlessness of being shunned, fearlessness of losing my job.
7 of Spades
Rise to higher levels of thinking, speaking and acting in areas of work and health, whereby u hold negative patterns
If u r willing to take responsibility for ur condition
Yasmin Ahmad’s blog
Yoju Yamada
While I knead clay, form is spontaneously born. Thinking about what form to adopt or what colour to use makes little sense. I wait until a form appears. But spontaneous forms don't come easily. While wanting to make good ceramics, or waiting for the praise of others, our work is poor.
The secret in clay making is in Digging. Something beautiful is hiding in the clay. Its asking us to dig it out .... begging us.
Yasmin
Whatever we are doing, be it medical research, or aerodynamics or clay or even writing script, there is one thing we would do well to remember. And that is our job is not to invent, but to search; to dig until God's truth and beauty reveal themselves.
Soul
Tot of my and my inner journey for peace. I have been worrying abt the form of transformation, worried abt being a fool to undertake the journey, worry no one would understand me. Worry of how I would become.
This msg just said that the Truth is in me. I just walk the Path n need not concern myself on what is the Outcome. The Truth will be.
Afternoon
Again CEO come to me to seek assurance. I didn't share with her the Staff costs issue cos don't wan to get her riled up as she has her hands full.
Actually, my fear was not able to meet her approval. I now knew the approval come wit a price too high to pay and I no longer wan to pay the price. So be it, if she wants to scream n shout on why I can't give her Action Plan. How to give when she is only lookin at expansion and not contraction. My previous action plan bought us time for one and half year.
Anyway, I got no more action plan and she can rant and rave all she wants.
I wil stand firm and if required activate Regional cos I am no longer afraid. What she is asking is bullshitting thru n shake my integrity as Gatekeeper.
I don't want to be a problem solver. I don't wan to risk my integrity jus to seek validation.
Besides I now knew no one can do it, so why should I kill myself. Jus like what I judged my ex bosses for pumping up budget figures.
Remember this too will pass. Besides who knows Regional willing have a lower profit
Father, thank u.
Like I said, d best thing is expansion, we got new biz of to replace the biz lost.
But part of me thinks the CEO’s pebble should be bigger than mine and hence I cannot change the situation.
So, for now, I jus wished that I won't get sucked into this dilemma. Whatever happens, m fine. Also to remember that I can have Regional as back up. As Regional boss said, I am the gatekeeper.
Suddenly tot of rental. Aiuah, never mind, my financial security is not affected by it cos the net 650 is jus saving for me n hence won't affect my lifestyle.
Good thing is I want to continue making a dish every Sunday. I want my family to savour my creation. M glad I started it. Makes me fulfilled.
Yday d Korean drama abt 40 year old Doctor and Engineer, both not married. D guy love food, jus like me. Comfortable eating alone and savouring the food, so much like me. He said he is comfortable not married. Lots of people view marriage as the end goal in life n hence feel insecure if they didn't get reach their goal. So, d way to feel secure is just to change ur goal post. Clever.
Deliberate Creation
When u make the effort to come into closer vibrational alignment with that Non-Physical part of urself, u open urself to that wisdom, love, Well-Being and power. When u r in alignment with ur Source, u experience clarity, vitality, enthusiasm, passion, and Well Being that is natural to u.
The better u feel, the more u r allowing ur Connection to ur Source.
The worse u feel, the less u r allowing ur Connection to ur Source.
No one can get inside u and offer ur vibration for u, for it is only ur own vibrational offering that affects ur personal experience.
Nothing is more important that u feel good. Then u have now decided to deliberately manage the vibrational relationship between u and ur Source.
You have decided to use the Guidance system that u were born with to monitor and control the vibrational relativity between ur current focus and subsequent vibration, and that of ur Being.
You have decided to tend to ur Connection with ur Source. You have decided to thrive rather than pinch off ur Connection.
You have chosen clarity; vitality; eagerness, abundance of all things you consider to be good and joyful.
Soul
Me, what is my goal? To be enlighten and to guide others too. To share my love n knowledge.
I want to be safe to do the right thing. I want not to be coerced into doing wrong thing. Protecting the company is more important than protecting myself. Especially in this case, even if cut to 50 headcounts, my position still secure. I want to be the Gatekeeper. I will hail out to Regional if pressed.
That is what I want.
The outcome is not important. What is important is I stand my ground as a Gatekeeper.
Deliberate Creation
When u care about how u feel, and u deliberately try to look at things in ways that feel better n better to u. Then u will allow more and resist less - the circumstances and events of ur life will begin to reflect those changes immediately.
Relief - releasing of resistance - allowing
Soul
When I was in d toilet. I said forget abt judging n projection. My issue is I was not able to stand firm as a Gate Keeper. Don't blame CEO and others for not bringing in new biz. Don't blame them for their self denial. Don't blame them for not taking responsibility to do a cut off their salary. Jus looked at myself n where I stand as a Gatekeeper.
I used to pride myself as Problem solver, irrespective of the situation n my integrity is shaken. Well, no more.
Here I tot I hav professional integrity but I hav not as my job validates me more.
I am at ease now, not projecting on the CEO and GM or myself.
This is an extreme contrast situation to make me aware n choose again n come back to What I am - fearlessness of not meeting expectation, fearlessness of being shunned, fearlessness of losing my job.
7 of Spades
Rise to higher levels of thinking, speaking and acting in areas of work and health, whereby u hold negative patterns
If u r willing to take responsibility for ur condition
Yasmin Ahmad’s blog
Yoju Yamada
While I knead clay, form is spontaneously born. Thinking about what form to adopt or what colour to use makes little sense. I wait until a form appears. But spontaneous forms don't come easily. While wanting to make good ceramics, or waiting for the praise of others, our work is poor.
The secret in clay making is in Digging. Something beautiful is hiding in the clay. Its asking us to dig it out .... begging us.
Yasmin
Whatever we are doing, be it medical research, or aerodynamics or clay or even writing script, there is one thing we would do well to remember. And that is our job is not to invent, but to search; to dig until God's truth and beauty reveal themselves.
Soul
Tot of my and my inner journey for peace. I have been worrying abt the form of transformation, worried abt being a fool to undertake the journey, worry no one would understand me. Worry of how I would become.
This msg just said that the Truth is in me. I just walk the Path n need not concern myself on what is the Outcome. The Truth will be.
Afternoon
Again CEO come to me to seek assurance. I didn't share with her the Staff costs issue cos don't wan to get her riled up as she has her hands full.
Actually, my fear was not able to meet her approval. I now knew the approval come wit a price too high to pay and I no longer wan to pay the price. So be it, if she wants to scream n shout on why I can't give her Action Plan. How to give when she is only lookin at expansion and not contraction. My previous action plan bought us time for one and half year.
Anyway, I got no more action plan and she can rant and rave all she wants.
I wil stand firm and if required activate Regional cos I am no longer afraid. What she is asking is bullshitting thru n shake my integrity as Gatekeeper.
I don't want to be a problem solver. I don't wan to risk my integrity jus to seek validation.
Besides I now knew no one can do it, so why should I kill myself. Jus like what I judged my ex bosses for pumping up budget figures.
Remember this too will pass. Besides who knows Regional willing have a lower profit
I have the freedom to select the pebbles
Aug 1
10. Way of Heart
You can never decide on a non-participation in the Creation. If u think so, u tot u r not creating n think u r apart from the Wave. The process of healing requires ur willingness to remember that u r the effect of the Creator to express itself in a unique way for every single wave.
Surrender is the process u finally relent n stop resisting and remember - I am not a victim of the world I see.
U begin to use ur power of awareness to deliberately choose which vibration u will resonate with and which vibration u will let be dissolved.
What pebbles can I drop into my mind?
Can I begin now to drop a different pebble into the still pool of awareness to create a different vibration?
Can I be a saviour? How wealthy can I be? How many beings can I say I love u? How deep can I experience peace?
How can I experience death? The molecule unglued when u release ur values.
The realm of possibilities are are deep as u are.
To be willing to allow the pebble in ur pool of awareness that carry the energy of tot - I elect to be birth a Christ and thereby learn what Christ is. The experience is unfolding learning of what Christ is. What u have learned is what u r created to be - prodigal son, awakened as Christ.
U finally think only with ur Right mindedness - as God thinks.
God thinks playfully, patiently, joyfully.
Touch people around u. Feelin nothing but unconditional radiant love.
God's aliveness has flowed thru and overflow and brought thru manifest creation - you
The power to create infinitelly n thereby to extend creation (expansion)
Mastery comes when fear has been completely dissolved. Fear is dissolved by being looked at with perfect innocence. As u looked within and see how fear results contraction - see it and decide u didn't like it n replace it.
Mastery is a state in which u have embrace yourself as a Ceaseless Creator and assume complete responsibility for everything that comes in ur field of awareness without judging so u can decide whether u want it to stay or let go.
Mastery is fearlessness.
No longer fearing ur Creative Power and ur Perfect Union with God. - I and my Father are One.
Consciousness transcend all that u know. Only Love is real.
Disenganging from entangled view which is the effect of all the things comin at u or around u - decide which pebble u let stay. The pebbles creates ripples that creates ur tomorrow. Denial won't change it. Ur fear to decide what ur tomorrow to be, not to rest in ur inner Kingdom.
Jesus learn to do hour by hour to drop only the pebble that results in revelation, I and my Father are One.
Which side of fence r u goin to sit on?
U r creatin ur tomorrow Now. What u r experiencing never come outside urself.
Am I as a creative being made in the image of God to deliberate, consciously and actively choose the pebble to drop into my mind?
What are the pebbles I wan to drop to create my tomorrow?
If u don't select the pebble, my tomorrow will never change.
Evenin
Was feeling fearful n tot CEO will threaten me with tears. Now I know I can be influenced by situation. That is fear.
At least know m impressionable.
Let me not react to it.
Let me accept that I can do what she want.
Let me not exchange my integrity for her smile - not worth it.
Perhaps she will find her way out.
Perhaps new biz will come out.
Father, I can't decide what is to happen but I can decide I want to feel safe n secure to say NO. I want to feel safe n secure to ask Regional for help cos we do need it.
10. Way of Heart
You can never decide on a non-participation in the Creation. If u think so, u tot u r not creating n think u r apart from the Wave. The process of healing requires ur willingness to remember that u r the effect of the Creator to express itself in a unique way for every single wave.
Surrender is the process u finally relent n stop resisting and remember - I am not a victim of the world I see.
U begin to use ur power of awareness to deliberately choose which vibration u will resonate with and which vibration u will let be dissolved.
What pebbles can I drop into my mind?
Can I begin now to drop a different pebble into the still pool of awareness to create a different vibration?
Can I be a saviour? How wealthy can I be? How many beings can I say I love u? How deep can I experience peace?
How can I experience death? The molecule unglued when u release ur values.
The realm of possibilities are are deep as u are.
To be willing to allow the pebble in ur pool of awareness that carry the energy of tot - I elect to be birth a Christ and thereby learn what Christ is. The experience is unfolding learning of what Christ is. What u have learned is what u r created to be - prodigal son, awakened as Christ.
U finally think only with ur Right mindedness - as God thinks.
God thinks playfully, patiently, joyfully.
Touch people around u. Feelin nothing but unconditional radiant love.
God's aliveness has flowed thru and overflow and brought thru manifest creation - you
The power to create infinitelly n thereby to extend creation (expansion)
Mastery comes when fear has been completely dissolved. Fear is dissolved by being looked at with perfect innocence. As u looked within and see how fear results contraction - see it and decide u didn't like it n replace it.
Mastery is a state in which u have embrace yourself as a Ceaseless Creator and assume complete responsibility for everything that comes in ur field of awareness without judging so u can decide whether u want it to stay or let go.
Mastery is fearlessness.
No longer fearing ur Creative Power and ur Perfect Union with God. - I and my Father are One.
Consciousness transcend all that u know. Only Love is real.
Disenganging from entangled view which is the effect of all the things comin at u or around u - decide which pebble u let stay. The pebbles creates ripples that creates ur tomorrow. Denial won't change it. Ur fear to decide what ur tomorrow to be, not to rest in ur inner Kingdom.
Jesus learn to do hour by hour to drop only the pebble that results in revelation, I and my Father are One.
Which side of fence r u goin to sit on?
U r creatin ur tomorrow Now. What u r experiencing never come outside urself.
Am I as a creative being made in the image of God to deliberate, consciously and actively choose the pebble to drop into my mind?
What are the pebbles I wan to drop to create my tomorrow?
If u don't select the pebble, my tomorrow will never change.
Evenin
Was feeling fearful n tot CEO will threaten me with tears. Now I know I can be influenced by situation. That is fear.
At least know m impressionable.
Let me not react to it.
Let me accept that I can do what she want.
Let me not exchange my integrity for her smile - not worth it.
Perhaps she will find her way out.
Perhaps new biz will come out.
Father, I can't decide what is to happen but I can decide I want to feel safe n secure to say NO. I want to feel safe n secure to ask Regional for help cos we do need it.
Present is all there IS
Today woke up n the tot + Present is all there is. Tot of the Resource plan n its difficulty n then 2nd tot since Present is all there is. For now is 5.40 am, I need only to focus on my meditation.
My Transformation card which I picked yday.
1. Recent events
Blessing in disguise.
All the so called negative feeling from anger to hopelessness r the very situation in which life has to integrate n grow. Accept them as they r blessing in disguise. Don't run. Don't interpret it and suddenly u see that everything is beautiful.
Soul - this is the summation when I finally realised again but deeper that all the challenges/extreme Contrast was for me to ask for what I desire so that I can expand.
So, this Resource planning, I can only do my part. The outcome I need not be concerned.
2. Outer influences that u r aware.
Worry
Worry n suffering are created either by what u wanted to do in the past but could not do, or by what u want to do in the future and don't know whether u will be able to do or not.
There is no suffering in present. That is why present does not disturb the mind. Anxiety abt past or future disturbs the mind.
The moment u rest, the moment u relax, u know that existence is already going, moving, reaching towards higher peak. You need not have separate ambitions.
Once u relaxed, ur eyes will be full of wonder; ur heart will be full of awe.
You can't fail. In the very nature of things it is impossible to fail, becos there is no question of success at all.
Soul - Just relax.
3. The seed of transformation that is now preparing to take root in u
Awareness comes thru sensitivity
To get to the inner eyes, these outer eyes will have to be thrown away n that is the price to pay.
Soul – will be aware of my feeling n to bring it back to the present relaxation.
4. Direction of growth
Conscience - Conscience is man-made but consciousness is not.
You need the eyes of consciousness to see the immaterial (heart) - invaluable.
5. Inner understanding to work on.
Mastery of Moods.
Remain open, remain choiceless. They will be moments that u will be miserable. Accept it n know that it will also pass away, jus like the good times. Remain at ease.
Joy n sadness = Day n night. Accept them as duality of nature
Slowly get more centred into the Watcher.
Do not cling to any moment becos it is beautiful and do not push away any moment becos it is miserable. Stop doing that.
The only way to go beyond is to find a place where u can watch all these changing phenomena without getting identified.
This too will pass
Soul - now realised d msg is not to read Krishna. But to know whatever moments or situation I faced will pass.
1. Be aware
2. Be in the present - then have less worry of past or future
3. Be choiceless - good or bad. Stop pushing bad away and stop holding on to good times
4. Truth - circumstances is Not me. They like day n night.
Soul - this is talking abt appreciating contrast.
This is so apt. I was worried but I think now I knew abt Present - less turmoil.
My Transformation card which I picked yday.
1. Recent events
Blessing in disguise.
All the so called negative feeling from anger to hopelessness r the very situation in which life has to integrate n grow. Accept them as they r blessing in disguise. Don't run. Don't interpret it and suddenly u see that everything is beautiful.
Soul - this is the summation when I finally realised again but deeper that all the challenges/extreme Contrast was for me to ask for what I desire so that I can expand.
So, this Resource planning, I can only do my part. The outcome I need not be concerned.
2. Outer influences that u r aware.
Worry
Worry n suffering are created either by what u wanted to do in the past but could not do, or by what u want to do in the future and don't know whether u will be able to do or not.
There is no suffering in present. That is why present does not disturb the mind. Anxiety abt past or future disturbs the mind.
The moment u rest, the moment u relax, u know that existence is already going, moving, reaching towards higher peak. You need not have separate ambitions.
Once u relaxed, ur eyes will be full of wonder; ur heart will be full of awe.
You can't fail. In the very nature of things it is impossible to fail, becos there is no question of success at all.
Soul - Just relax.
3. The seed of transformation that is now preparing to take root in u
Awareness comes thru sensitivity
To get to the inner eyes, these outer eyes will have to be thrown away n that is the price to pay.
Soul – will be aware of my feeling n to bring it back to the present relaxation.
4. Direction of growth
Conscience - Conscience is man-made but consciousness is not.
You need the eyes of consciousness to see the immaterial (heart) - invaluable.
5. Inner understanding to work on.
Mastery of Moods.
Remain open, remain choiceless. They will be moments that u will be miserable. Accept it n know that it will also pass away, jus like the good times. Remain at ease.
Joy n sadness = Day n night. Accept them as duality of nature
Slowly get more centred into the Watcher.
Do not cling to any moment becos it is beautiful and do not push away any moment becos it is miserable. Stop doing that.
The only way to go beyond is to find a place where u can watch all these changing phenomena without getting identified.
This too will pass
Soul - now realised d msg is not to read Krishna. But to know whatever moments or situation I faced will pass.
1. Be aware
2. Be in the present - then have less worry of past or future
3. Be choiceless - good or bad. Stop pushing bad away and stop holding on to good times
4. Truth - circumstances is Not me. They like day n night.
Soul - this is talking abt appreciating contrast.
This is so apt. I was worried but I think now I knew abt Present - less turmoil.
Monday, August 3, 2009
My validation mode and low emotional guidance resulting in me attracting Extreme contrast situations!
Yesterday, gathering with Isha meditators and since I now on expansion mode. I was more open to trying out different Indian food.
I tried the following:
1. Curry chicken vege
2. Tose wit onion
3. Tose with curry mashed potato
4. Fried something
5. Coffee.
6. Masala tea
7. Basmati mushroom rice
Meg's wife Primala said I am good cos I was open to trying all the food. I laughed n told her I m getting ready for India.
My path now is expansion and not contraction.
If I hadn't open up, I wouldn't have realised there are some good tasting food despite 1st tasting not familiar to me.
Deliberate intention
Most people r not aware that they are vibrationally attracting their own reality. And so, those people make little or no effort to deliberately focus tot.
While your Inner Being is in vibrational alignment to ur new desires, ur physical body is usually not yet a perfect vibration match, for ur desire was born from contrast, and so you still have a mix of vibrations within u relative to ur desire.
A good feeling emotion indicates vibrational alignment between the perspective of ur Inner Being and u. A bad feeling indicates a vibrational misalignment.
No desire, no matter what the subject, can manifest into ur experience as long as there is a vibrational difference between the desire and ur practiced vibration.
You have to practice urself into vibrational alignment with ur desires before they are realised.
Soul - Jus now during meditation, tot of revenue shortfall came to my mind, 1st tot was on CEO n her entourage. 2nd tot was that was contracting and I am now on expansion mode n I wish for new biz to come in instead. When I was driving, tot of my husband n felt the loving experience all the way.
Deliberate Intent
No other factors need to be considered in the achievement of anything that u want;
1. What others think?
2. What they have lived
3. What they are living
4. What u have lived in the past
5. What u r living right now
None of the above has any bearing whatsoever on your ability to achieve the object of ur desires. Only the vibrational relativity between ur desire and you is relevant.
Abraham - the joy of life is in the journey.
The contrast in which u are focused provides a wonderful basis for launching of ur unique desires, for whenever u r experiencing something that u do not want, u always understand more clearly what it is that u do want.
Soul - I attracted extreme boss, challenging work situation n even rships. Perhaps the Extreme Contrast was required due to my Lack of emotional guidance that is unable to generate New desires.
I have been lamenting that God makes me suffer, always give me the worst possible scenario and always expect me to accept and overcome it.
Actually, God wants the opposite. It was my validation mode that wans to overcome it. So my high validation mode on work coupled with my lack of emotional guidance and my inabilty to ask for new desires results in such Extreme contrast.
Hav I tot this before??? I recall suffering is blessing - is to make me aware that I m suffering n hence deserved better. To me suffering was a Barometer. If u don't suffer, u don't have the initiatives to seek something better. But I was working on contractive solution which is Hold back my validation so I can stop seeking new experience which may contain challenges - To Rest and Savour or another word - To Rut.
Eg Food - I have such discerning taste that even abv average can be scaled by me. For others, as long as food is ave, they can't evaluate or desire anything more.
But for other things, m totally can accept anything or perhaps can overcome anything.
Perhaps my discernment has been wrongly channelled just into Food n left no energy to discern my Life n hence don't know what I truly want. Jus know I don't want blw average, like the others perceptive on food. For others, as long as food is not bad, they can live with it. For me, in others things, I can live with it.
Deliberate Intent
If the vibration of what-is is the dominant vibration within u regarding ur work, ur rship, ur looks, ur wealth, ur security, then all the above cannot improve.
You must find a way of offering a vibration that matches that of ur desires and of ur Source if u r to allow yourself to receive the benefit of ur own request.
I tried the following:
1. Curry chicken vege
2. Tose wit onion
3. Tose with curry mashed potato
4. Fried something
5. Coffee.
6. Masala tea
7. Basmati mushroom rice
Meg's wife Primala said I am good cos I was open to trying all the food. I laughed n told her I m getting ready for India.
My path now is expansion and not contraction.
If I hadn't open up, I wouldn't have realised there are some good tasting food despite 1st tasting not familiar to me.
Deliberate intention
Most people r not aware that they are vibrationally attracting their own reality. And so, those people make little or no effort to deliberately focus tot.
While your Inner Being is in vibrational alignment to ur new desires, ur physical body is usually not yet a perfect vibration match, for ur desire was born from contrast, and so you still have a mix of vibrations within u relative to ur desire.
A good feeling emotion indicates vibrational alignment between the perspective of ur Inner Being and u. A bad feeling indicates a vibrational misalignment.
No desire, no matter what the subject, can manifest into ur experience as long as there is a vibrational difference between the desire and ur practiced vibration.
You have to practice urself into vibrational alignment with ur desires before they are realised.
Soul - Jus now during meditation, tot of revenue shortfall came to my mind, 1st tot was on CEO n her entourage. 2nd tot was that was contracting and I am now on expansion mode n I wish for new biz to come in instead. When I was driving, tot of my husband n felt the loving experience all the way.
Deliberate Intent
No other factors need to be considered in the achievement of anything that u want;
1. What others think?
2. What they have lived
3. What they are living
4. What u have lived in the past
5. What u r living right now
None of the above has any bearing whatsoever on your ability to achieve the object of ur desires. Only the vibrational relativity between ur desire and you is relevant.
Abraham - the joy of life is in the journey.
The contrast in which u are focused provides a wonderful basis for launching of ur unique desires, for whenever u r experiencing something that u do not want, u always understand more clearly what it is that u do want.
Soul - I attracted extreme boss, challenging work situation n even rships. Perhaps the Extreme Contrast was required due to my Lack of emotional guidance that is unable to generate New desires.
I have been lamenting that God makes me suffer, always give me the worst possible scenario and always expect me to accept and overcome it.
Actually, God wants the opposite. It was my validation mode that wans to overcome it. So my high validation mode on work coupled with my lack of emotional guidance and my inabilty to ask for new desires results in such Extreme contrast.
Hav I tot this before??? I recall suffering is blessing - is to make me aware that I m suffering n hence deserved better. To me suffering was a Barometer. If u don't suffer, u don't have the initiatives to seek something better. But I was working on contractive solution which is Hold back my validation so I can stop seeking new experience which may contain challenges - To Rest and Savour or another word - To Rut.
Eg Food - I have such discerning taste that even abv average can be scaled by me. For others, as long as food is ave, they can't evaluate or desire anything more.
But for other things, m totally can accept anything or perhaps can overcome anything.
Perhaps my discernment has been wrongly channelled just into Food n left no energy to discern my Life n hence don't know what I truly want. Jus know I don't want blw average, like the others perceptive on food. For others, as long as food is not bad, they can live with it. For me, in others things, I can live with it.
Deliberate Intent
If the vibration of what-is is the dominant vibration within u regarding ur work, ur rship, ur looks, ur wealth, ur security, then all the above cannot improve.
You must find a way of offering a vibration that matches that of ur desires and of ur Source if u r to allow yourself to receive the benefit of ur own request.
Expansion vs Contraction
Contraction vs expansion
I have been mostly on contraction. At first was thinking that I hav expansion for food. But then, if I find it difficult to accept different culture food, at the moment Indian food is not my thing, perhaps it is also contraction.
Yesterday meditation was fearful as I was thinking about the revenue shortfall. Then I tot the easiest way to cut compensation is CEO's personal team. Then I realised that its contraction and start to wish for new biz to come in. Besides if CEO is not worried, who am I to be. My role is to ensure integrity of numbers and d profitability or meeting margin.
Deliberate Creation
The way u feel as u r focusing thoughts is really what matter most.
Ur feeling can range from feeling of abundance to feeling of desperate absence.
You get what u feel about what u think about.
Soul
Having
Giving
Receiving
It is only in giving, there is a feel of having.
On rship, being happy for others cos I am happy for me too.
Deliberate creation
You can always correct ur course, but the sooner you are aware that u r off ur path, the better and more satisfying your journey will be.
The key to joyful deliberate creating:
1. To choose the subjects of ur tots intentionally
2. To pay close attention to how each tot feels
3. To change course if u r on the sliding scale of vibrational possibilities (contraction)
Soul
Being fearless is expansion and not contraction.
Being fearless means giving even if u don't have cos u trust that u will be receiving ten folds.
Deliberate Creation
It is only from exposure to contrast that any preferences or desires can be born.
Truth or Fact for u - we called it Creation by u.
It is not important whether it is true or not, but whether or not u want to experience the truth of it in ur experience.
Anything focused upon long enough must become truth. It is Law!
Soul
We'll, at least things are more clarified. And for the first time here, I finally tot of expansion instead of contraction. Contraction has been my mode for many many years. So, I look forward to this new year. Amen
Today my card 9 of club. U have awaken to a new and higher way of thinking that will be better than you have imagined.
The 9 of club has been known to signal a time when powerful spiritual experiences occur, such as universal consciousness. So appropriate. Amen
I have been mostly on contraction. At first was thinking that I hav expansion for food. But then, if I find it difficult to accept different culture food, at the moment Indian food is not my thing, perhaps it is also contraction.
Yesterday meditation was fearful as I was thinking about the revenue shortfall. Then I tot the easiest way to cut compensation is CEO's personal team. Then I realised that its contraction and start to wish for new biz to come in. Besides if CEO is not worried, who am I to be. My role is to ensure integrity of numbers and d profitability or meeting margin.
Deliberate Creation
The way u feel as u r focusing thoughts is really what matter most.
Ur feeling can range from feeling of abundance to feeling of desperate absence.
You get what u feel about what u think about.
Soul
Having
Giving
Receiving
It is only in giving, there is a feel of having.
On rship, being happy for others cos I am happy for me too.
Deliberate creation
You can always correct ur course, but the sooner you are aware that u r off ur path, the better and more satisfying your journey will be.
The key to joyful deliberate creating:
1. To choose the subjects of ur tots intentionally
2. To pay close attention to how each tot feels
3. To change course if u r on the sliding scale of vibrational possibilities (contraction)
Soul
Being fearless is expansion and not contraction.
Being fearless means giving even if u don't have cos u trust that u will be receiving ten folds.
Deliberate Creation
It is only from exposure to contrast that any preferences or desires can be born.
Truth or Fact for u - we called it Creation by u.
It is not important whether it is true or not, but whether or not u want to experience the truth of it in ur experience.
Anything focused upon long enough must become truth. It is Law!
Soul
We'll, at least things are more clarified. And for the first time here, I finally tot of expansion instead of contraction. Contraction has been my mode for many many years. So, I look forward to this new year. Amen
Today my card 9 of club. U have awaken to a new and higher way of thinking that will be better than you have imagined.
The 9 of club has been known to signal a time when powerful spiritual experiences occur, such as universal consciousness. So appropriate. Amen
If u wan to rule, u rule even if u think u r suffering
Father, thank u. This mornin I woke up abt 5 am, I had a dream, can't recall. Perhaps is abt work. Then my tot was I love me and I relaxed myself and jus be at ease till d alarm rang for meditation.
I have resigned myself to this meditation. I told myself this is the Love I give to myself, to let my Inner Being room to grow and it can grow only via meditation. So, I need to feed it. I also said be patient, the Outer Being has been here for 42 years and Inner only 9 mths, so give it time to catch up.
My osho reading
1. Issue - Guilt - I guess this is abt me feeling guilty that I still didn't listen, stil feelin bit impatient
2. Internal - Transformation, Allowing any pain, sorrow or difficulty to juist be there, accepting its "facticity". Knowing there is nothing more I can do. Transformation comes, like death, in its own time. And like death, it takes u from one dimension into another.
- I guess this is telling me while there is no outward major transformation, internal is being transformed. And all hidden fear being transformed. All d issues in the office, accept it. Also to remind me, transformation cannot be controlled by me, when its time, it will happen.
4. External - laziness.
Well, I been lazy, especially during weekend. Last sunday, after meditation, exercise and Tesco, I watched TV whole day, don't want to think.
There is more to come.
3. What is needed - Receptivity. Listening means forgetting urself completely, only then u can listen. God can reach u only when u r receptive, the door is open - and u WAIT.
Don't let ur busy and aggressive mind to hinder ur receptivity. Once u become receptive, sensitivity, intuition and compassion are qualities that shine forth.
Soul - the frequency must match in order for u to have clear reception.
5. Resolution - Patience.
With great trust, knowing that the old was gone, and the new will soon be coming.
We have forgotten to wait, we want everything in a hurry.
In silence and waiting, something inside u goes on growing. And one day, it jumps and becomes a flame, and ur whole personality shattered; u r a new man.
Let nature takes its course. It is a time full of mystery, like the hours just before the dawn. It is a time when the only thing to do is wait.
Soul - amen.
Yday for the first time, I wished for new biz, for growth instead of contraction. CEO needs d job and she has pays her dues n the company is still profitable. If company treasures her, who am I to judge. Even if she can't let go, I can't judge. All in good time, I now look at 3 years - by end of this year, will be 2 years.
Deliberate Intent
Your emotion, in every moment, gives u an indication of the vibrational relationship between the Non Physical You and the physical u.
Nothing is more important than this relationship, and nothing can enhance ur physical experience more than an understanding of ur own emotions, for they will tell u everything u need to know about the vibrational rship.
Your emotion tells u the frequency u r in.
When u r not aligned with Ur Source, u will have a feeling of void. Almost all try to fill the void be seeking acceptance, getting validation.
Sometimes u can be influenced into alignment thru
1. Observing something wonderful
2. Met someone who is experiencing their own alignment
3. Appreciation of something/someone
Never, under any conditions, feels anything less than love and appreciation for that which you are.
Never be unkind to urself or to others.
Soul - At the moment, I have unkind tots of CEO and PA. Just have to focus on expasion, getting in new revenue instead of contraction, hoping they both leave
Deliberate Intent
You are the creator of your own experience and no one else has the power within ur experience. And that is true for everyone.
Soul - my lamenting - why I always attract dying company. And that is why I keep on attracting. Perhaps I was dying inside too. Now I am alive and another 40 years to live joyously. I want a growing company cos I am growing myself.
Life is about creation.
Life is not abt problem solving. I was validated by that. Now I want to create. I already started by cooking twice - cream corn custard and grilled portobello mushroom with bacon and cheese.
This weekend, I do my portobello mushroom pizza with bacon.
Evenin
Was feeling afraid again. Feeling like being made to suffer - why I need to take charge? Haven't I proven myself already?? How much more do I hv to take before I am finally accepted or before this all ends
Sadhguru
If u want to rule, u have to sit on the seat. Wherever u r put, u jus do ur work. It does not matter what the situation is, what's the result of ur action is, because that's what u do anyway. If the put u in hell, that's what u do. If they put u in heaven, still, that is what u do. This releases u from action.
First of all, this releases u from the fruit of action. Once u r released, the action will happen by itself. You don't have to stop working to be released from action. Simply, it will dissolve, melt and disappear. Once the expectation of the fruit of action is completely removed from your life, the action occurs by itself. You don't have to do anything about it.
Heaven, hell or earth, in any different situation, u will be the same. Once u r like this, u r released from external situations.
If u run away and sit in the mountain, u will not become free. This is the way to work it out. It has to be worked out.
Soul - I wanted to rule. To rule, I just take charge wherever I am, even in hell. I think this is the path I must take.
I have resigned myself to this meditation. I told myself this is the Love I give to myself, to let my Inner Being room to grow and it can grow only via meditation. So, I need to feed it. I also said be patient, the Outer Being has been here for 42 years and Inner only 9 mths, so give it time to catch up.
My osho reading
1. Issue - Guilt - I guess this is abt me feeling guilty that I still didn't listen, stil feelin bit impatient
2. Internal - Transformation, Allowing any pain, sorrow or difficulty to juist be there, accepting its "facticity". Knowing there is nothing more I can do. Transformation comes, like death, in its own time. And like death, it takes u from one dimension into another.
- I guess this is telling me while there is no outward major transformation, internal is being transformed. And all hidden fear being transformed. All d issues in the office, accept it. Also to remind me, transformation cannot be controlled by me, when its time, it will happen.
4. External - laziness.
Well, I been lazy, especially during weekend. Last sunday, after meditation, exercise and Tesco, I watched TV whole day, don't want to think.
There is more to come.
3. What is needed - Receptivity. Listening means forgetting urself completely, only then u can listen. God can reach u only when u r receptive, the door is open - and u WAIT.
Don't let ur busy and aggressive mind to hinder ur receptivity. Once u become receptive, sensitivity, intuition and compassion are qualities that shine forth.
Soul - the frequency must match in order for u to have clear reception.
5. Resolution - Patience.
With great trust, knowing that the old was gone, and the new will soon be coming.
We have forgotten to wait, we want everything in a hurry.
In silence and waiting, something inside u goes on growing. And one day, it jumps and becomes a flame, and ur whole personality shattered; u r a new man.
Let nature takes its course. It is a time full of mystery, like the hours just before the dawn. It is a time when the only thing to do is wait.
Soul - amen.
Yday for the first time, I wished for new biz, for growth instead of contraction. CEO needs d job and she has pays her dues n the company is still profitable. If company treasures her, who am I to judge. Even if she can't let go, I can't judge. All in good time, I now look at 3 years - by end of this year, will be 2 years.
Deliberate Intent
Your emotion, in every moment, gives u an indication of the vibrational relationship between the Non Physical You and the physical u.
Nothing is more important than this relationship, and nothing can enhance ur physical experience more than an understanding of ur own emotions, for they will tell u everything u need to know about the vibrational rship.
Your emotion tells u the frequency u r in.
When u r not aligned with Ur Source, u will have a feeling of void. Almost all try to fill the void be seeking acceptance, getting validation.
Sometimes u can be influenced into alignment thru
1. Observing something wonderful
2. Met someone who is experiencing their own alignment
3. Appreciation of something/someone
Never, under any conditions, feels anything less than love and appreciation for that which you are.
Never be unkind to urself or to others.
Soul - At the moment, I have unkind tots of CEO and PA. Just have to focus on expasion, getting in new revenue instead of contraction, hoping they both leave
Deliberate Intent
You are the creator of your own experience and no one else has the power within ur experience. And that is true for everyone.
Soul - my lamenting - why I always attract dying company. And that is why I keep on attracting. Perhaps I was dying inside too. Now I am alive and another 40 years to live joyously. I want a growing company cos I am growing myself.
Life is about creation.
Life is not abt problem solving. I was validated by that. Now I want to create. I already started by cooking twice - cream corn custard and grilled portobello mushroom with bacon and cheese.
This weekend, I do my portobello mushroom pizza with bacon.
Evenin
Was feeling afraid again. Feeling like being made to suffer - why I need to take charge? Haven't I proven myself already?? How much more do I hv to take before I am finally accepted or before this all ends
Sadhguru
If u want to rule, u have to sit on the seat. Wherever u r put, u jus do ur work. It does not matter what the situation is, what's the result of ur action is, because that's what u do anyway. If the put u in hell, that's what u do. If they put u in heaven, still, that is what u do. This releases u from action.
First of all, this releases u from the fruit of action. Once u r released, the action will happen by itself. You don't have to stop working to be released from action. Simply, it will dissolve, melt and disappear. Once the expectation of the fruit of action is completely removed from your life, the action occurs by itself. You don't have to do anything about it.
Heaven, hell or earth, in any different situation, u will be the same. Once u r like this, u r released from external situations.
If u run away and sit in the mountain, u will not become free. This is the way to work it out. It has to be worked out.
Soul - I wanted to rule. To rule, I just take charge wherever I am, even in hell. I think this is the path I must take.
My personal truth - contraction and not expansion
Way of Heart
I want my experience, my consciousness living and absorbing the flow of Universe. Give the body to God cos God knows how to use it. You don't.
When u r in that place, Heaven and Earth will move for u. This is the choice.
Soul - my body is not vibrating with the Source. Appreciation is the way. Once I give God my mind, my body will vibrate with Universe and Heaven and Earth will move to manifest everything I ever want for me.
The Power of Deliberate Intention
Words don't teach; life experience teaches.
What we know as "truths" are but "beliefs" that have been held for a long time, and "beliefs" are but "thoughts" that have been held over a long period of time. Success is measured by the degree of joy we are experiencing during our journey through this life.
Jerry - my often-stated intent was that each person whom I touched would be either elevated or would remain basically where they were when I met them and no one would ever feel diminished as a result of coming into contact with me.
Soul - a tall order indeed. I am not sure I am doing that. The Amazing Power is the continuation of Ask and It is given. I didn't realise that. When I picked up Ask and it is given, it was jus there. Didn't even realise I bought 3 books. Father, there is something here.
Soul
Experience - ur own or others
Thoughts - ur interpretation
Beliefs - ur decision
Truth - ur own.
Father, this is sad. My truth is still I am meant to be alone, I am meant to do challenging jobs n handling tough CEO. Alas I do think small. I know that my potentials is untapped. I am a good leader and I am a good partner. It is a blessing to have me as a boss and as a partner.
It is a blessing to have me as a friend
It is a blessing to have me as a daughter.
The good thing is that at least now I don't kill myself for meeting this personal truth of mine.
Suddenly a tot came. I said I want to learn when I give up my job but I don't want to use my nest egg. Then a reply came, find someone to sponsor ur studying.
Ah ha, that is why I wanted to marry a rich, spiritual, loving husband. I want to quit job, search for what I wan to study without worrying.
But reading d past life - abt me marrying for money n now this path is to find and create my own money - sure put a damper to my dream.
Aiyah, why so small thinking. I wanted d guy for money n support. Perhaps think BIG - I can get the money to study on my own.
Actually, now looking at it, my dream of partner seems dubious. No wonder cannot find anyone, no wonder was conned.
The amazing power of deliberate intent
You are not here on planet Earth trying to get back to what is Non-Physical, but instead, u r summoning the Non-Physical outward to where u are. And in that summoning, is the reason for expansion.
You relish the feeling of desire summoning to you and through you.
You understand that this feeling of desire is the feeling of Life
You do not worry about contrast, for u understand its purpose.
You know that life will eternally expand, and that it is not ur purpose, or the purpose of anyone to complete it or finish it.
You understand that expansion is the natural result of your focus into contrast, because you know that the contrast will cause you to ask.
You know that when u ask, it is always given; therefore, you have no desire to avoid contrast, becos u understand the focusing power of contrast.
An appreciation of ur contrasting environment is necessary for u to consciously experience the continuum of who-you-really-are.
Soul - Is that equivalent to Nothing is unacceptable.
Soul - aiyah instead of wishin for cost cutting exercise. Why don't I wish for flow of new biz then. Why contraction?
I wish that we found a new major client, the size of ex-client, that can give us RM5 million revenue a year. I wish that this client to be in by end August 2009.
The only thing troubling me is the downward fluctuation of the revenue. Once that revenue is in, things will be fine.
And when we get new revenue, immediately may pay cut can be reinstated and also get increased salary.
So, by asking for increased revenue, it flow to me too.
Its so amazing, never tot of wishing for more. Why? Anyway, jus move on and wish for new biz to come in.
Deliberate Intent
Life is really about the ongoing, never-ending refocusing from each new vantage point.
Life is always flowing to you and through you, but for you to have a conscious deliberate awareness of it is the ultimate in truly living.
Accomplishing an end result is manifestation; consciously managing and maintaining your vibrational balance is Deliberate Living.
Soul - From now on, at least be aware whenever I am in contraction mode...
I want my experience, my consciousness living and absorbing the flow of Universe. Give the body to God cos God knows how to use it. You don't.
When u r in that place, Heaven and Earth will move for u. This is the choice.
Soul - my body is not vibrating with the Source. Appreciation is the way. Once I give God my mind, my body will vibrate with Universe and Heaven and Earth will move to manifest everything I ever want for me.
The Power of Deliberate Intention
Words don't teach; life experience teaches.
What we know as "truths" are but "beliefs" that have been held for a long time, and "beliefs" are but "thoughts" that have been held over a long period of time. Success is measured by the degree of joy we are experiencing during our journey through this life.
Jerry - my often-stated intent was that each person whom I touched would be either elevated or would remain basically where they were when I met them and no one would ever feel diminished as a result of coming into contact with me.
Soul - a tall order indeed. I am not sure I am doing that. The Amazing Power is the continuation of Ask and It is given. I didn't realise that. When I picked up Ask and it is given, it was jus there. Didn't even realise I bought 3 books. Father, there is something here.
Soul
Experience - ur own or others
Thoughts - ur interpretation
Beliefs - ur decision
Truth - ur own.
Father, this is sad. My truth is still I am meant to be alone, I am meant to do challenging jobs n handling tough CEO. Alas I do think small. I know that my potentials is untapped. I am a good leader and I am a good partner. It is a blessing to have me as a boss and as a partner.
It is a blessing to have me as a friend
It is a blessing to have me as a daughter.
The good thing is that at least now I don't kill myself for meeting this personal truth of mine.
Suddenly a tot came. I said I want to learn when I give up my job but I don't want to use my nest egg. Then a reply came, find someone to sponsor ur studying.
Ah ha, that is why I wanted to marry a rich, spiritual, loving husband. I want to quit job, search for what I wan to study without worrying.
But reading d past life - abt me marrying for money n now this path is to find and create my own money - sure put a damper to my dream.
Aiyah, why so small thinking. I wanted d guy for money n support. Perhaps think BIG - I can get the money to study on my own.
Actually, now looking at it, my dream of partner seems dubious. No wonder cannot find anyone, no wonder was conned.
The amazing power of deliberate intent
You are not here on planet Earth trying to get back to what is Non-Physical, but instead, u r summoning the Non-Physical outward to where u are. And in that summoning, is the reason for expansion.
You relish the feeling of desire summoning to you and through you.
You understand that this feeling of desire is the feeling of Life
You do not worry about contrast, for u understand its purpose.
You know that life will eternally expand, and that it is not ur purpose, or the purpose of anyone to complete it or finish it.
You understand that expansion is the natural result of your focus into contrast, because you know that the contrast will cause you to ask.
You know that when u ask, it is always given; therefore, you have no desire to avoid contrast, becos u understand the focusing power of contrast.
An appreciation of ur contrasting environment is necessary for u to consciously experience the continuum of who-you-really-are.
Soul - Is that equivalent to Nothing is unacceptable.
Soul - aiyah instead of wishin for cost cutting exercise. Why don't I wish for flow of new biz then. Why contraction?
I wish that we found a new major client, the size of ex-client, that can give us RM5 million revenue a year. I wish that this client to be in by end August 2009.
The only thing troubling me is the downward fluctuation of the revenue. Once that revenue is in, things will be fine.
And when we get new revenue, immediately may pay cut can be reinstated and also get increased salary.
So, by asking for increased revenue, it flow to me too.
Its so amazing, never tot of wishing for more. Why? Anyway, jus move on and wish for new biz to come in.
Deliberate Intent
Life is really about the ongoing, never-ending refocusing from each new vantage point.
Life is always flowing to you and through you, but for you to have a conscious deliberate awareness of it is the ultimate in truly living.
Accomplishing an end result is manifestation; consciously managing and maintaining your vibrational balance is Deliberate Living.
Soul - From now on, at least be aware whenever I am in contraction mode...
Only you can choose the Shadow or God!
Father, I look back d past 1 year. It was a black period of suffering and with Your Guide, I preserve and now in a good place.
I also remember, things r much better now n jus appreciate the Now instead of hoping things be better.
Let me savour now
Earlier was looking at Krishnamurti, but I found it too intellectual and I jus want to be joyous. Suddenly, another Abraham books came up, a book I bought in Feb 08, which I didn't read much cos it looks so new. I will read that. Amen.
Mornin
This mornin woke up at 5.45 on alarm. Shut it off cos haven't sleep enough as yday nite has bit of difficulty to sleep. Then I doze n tot I sleep for an hour before the walk in the park. Then shadow said one hour is not enough, maybe need not go the park. Then I said park must go n we sleep now. Then after 15 min stil cannot sleep, I tot what the point of sleepin now, I can sleep more in the afternoon.
So wit that woke up 6.06 n did my meditation. It was ok and when I am nearly done, it start to rain and I tot well, jus do epileptical and listen to Way of Heart instead. In the opening, Jesus asked who is in charge of me, Christ or Fear. For me to listen to the Way of Heart, Christ has overcome Fear.
Way of Heart - no. 9
The shadow has no effect. That little shadow u were given power to. It seems to be able to obstruct the Truth within u. The moment u give the little shadow power, fear arise - a contraction of love and make u smaller than the grass n struck off ur recognition of the love of Sun.
When u struggle to do the Truth, u resist. If ur decision is to believe ur shadow is not above Christ. Look upon ur shadow a little moment, it will come to make u feel small.
Rise and go forth without fear n u will accomplish whatever Creativity resides in u.
Many forms of shadows
1. Siblings n parents to please
2. Children and husband to come first
3. There are bills to pay
4. There are desires to given
5. There are people who must be judged.
Love does not spin and get nowhere. Love give u the power to choose, the power to channel love, the power to know something exists within u.
Fear doesn't create anything remotely like that
So ask urself what u want?
I want my experience, my consciousness living and absorbing the flow of Universe. Give the body to God cos God knows how to use it. You don't.
When u r in that place, Heaven and Earth will move for u. This is the choice.
When u r dancing with Shadow. Are u going to led Shadow lead or are u going to lead?
Only with devotion to Christ, perfection will be reflected to u. For perfection is single mindedness. There would no longer be any conflicting commitment in ur beingness. Once u r in that place, u will know what it feels to be Christ.
What abt the initiation - crucifixion? Hell is nothing more than the process of crucifying oneself, destroying what God has created.
Stop wasting so much energy of trying to love another. Please refrain from getting anyone that u love them. Give up the pattern of beliefs which u hav attempted to crucify urself. Learn to love urself, so ur words and actions always uplift another. U r like a breathe of fresh air.
As long as there is conflicting activities, u cannot love thyself, u never experience freedom.
So many layers - u r busy working Christ. Nothing will be unacceptable to u. It doesn't mean u condone. But it meant u can no longer judge.
Judgement is the opposite of forgiveness. Judgement is on the side of Fear. And only Love can heal this world.
God cannot take ur freedom to choose Christ or Fear. Only u can do that.
When u r confronted with the Truth. Everything u have substituted will be destroyed.
There is no one is this room and there shall not be anyone who hears these words. God will show u the way that is truth always and set u free. But only u can make the whole decision to make that journey. All that it requires is this much willingness.
Jesus knows the way Home cos He has completed the Journey
What if u r actually committed? Return to the innocence of a child.
Miracle, Joy, Creativity - ur ordinary being once u have completed the Journey.
One little shadow - is all that seems to prevent of coming Home to where I Am. If u still want to delay, is ok.
Learn to love urself. I, my Father are One. So be IT. That Light deserves to shine.
What u experience will reveal to u what choice u make?
Evening
Today ego was working overtime. Can't say I look forward to it n perhaps I projected it to the rest. But they acknowledge n most are on leave.
Father, guide me.
Jus now I was feeling fearful n tot I can't do what CEO asked. Then I recalled, is ok, I won't die. So what if cannot meet margin, so be it. My main role is to be a gatekeeper, to report truth and not to ensure numbers are met.
I also remember, things r much better now n jus appreciate the Now instead of hoping things be better.
Let me savour now
Earlier was looking at Krishnamurti, but I found it too intellectual and I jus want to be joyous. Suddenly, another Abraham books came up, a book I bought in Feb 08, which I didn't read much cos it looks so new. I will read that. Amen.
Mornin
This mornin woke up at 5.45 on alarm. Shut it off cos haven't sleep enough as yday nite has bit of difficulty to sleep. Then I doze n tot I sleep for an hour before the walk in the park. Then shadow said one hour is not enough, maybe need not go the park. Then I said park must go n we sleep now. Then after 15 min stil cannot sleep, I tot what the point of sleepin now, I can sleep more in the afternoon.
So wit that woke up 6.06 n did my meditation. It was ok and when I am nearly done, it start to rain and I tot well, jus do epileptical and listen to Way of Heart instead. In the opening, Jesus asked who is in charge of me, Christ or Fear. For me to listen to the Way of Heart, Christ has overcome Fear.
Way of Heart - no. 9
The shadow has no effect. That little shadow u were given power to. It seems to be able to obstruct the Truth within u. The moment u give the little shadow power, fear arise - a contraction of love and make u smaller than the grass n struck off ur recognition of the love of Sun.
When u struggle to do the Truth, u resist. If ur decision is to believe ur shadow is not above Christ. Look upon ur shadow a little moment, it will come to make u feel small.
Rise and go forth without fear n u will accomplish whatever Creativity resides in u.
Many forms of shadows
1. Siblings n parents to please
2. Children and husband to come first
3. There are bills to pay
4. There are desires to given
5. There are people who must be judged.
Love does not spin and get nowhere. Love give u the power to choose, the power to channel love, the power to know something exists within u.
Fear doesn't create anything remotely like that
So ask urself what u want?
I want my experience, my consciousness living and absorbing the flow of Universe. Give the body to God cos God knows how to use it. You don't.
When u r in that place, Heaven and Earth will move for u. This is the choice.
When u r dancing with Shadow. Are u going to led Shadow lead or are u going to lead?
Only with devotion to Christ, perfection will be reflected to u. For perfection is single mindedness. There would no longer be any conflicting commitment in ur beingness. Once u r in that place, u will know what it feels to be Christ.
What abt the initiation - crucifixion? Hell is nothing more than the process of crucifying oneself, destroying what God has created.
Stop wasting so much energy of trying to love another. Please refrain from getting anyone that u love them. Give up the pattern of beliefs which u hav attempted to crucify urself. Learn to love urself, so ur words and actions always uplift another. U r like a breathe of fresh air.
As long as there is conflicting activities, u cannot love thyself, u never experience freedom.
So many layers - u r busy working Christ. Nothing will be unacceptable to u. It doesn't mean u condone. But it meant u can no longer judge.
Judgement is the opposite of forgiveness. Judgement is on the side of Fear. And only Love can heal this world.
God cannot take ur freedom to choose Christ or Fear. Only u can do that.
When u r confronted with the Truth. Everything u have substituted will be destroyed.
There is no one is this room and there shall not be anyone who hears these words. God will show u the way that is truth always and set u free. But only u can make the whole decision to make that journey. All that it requires is this much willingness.
Jesus knows the way Home cos He has completed the Journey
What if u r actually committed? Return to the innocence of a child.
Miracle, Joy, Creativity - ur ordinary being once u have completed the Journey.
One little shadow - is all that seems to prevent of coming Home to where I Am. If u still want to delay, is ok.
Learn to love urself. I, my Father are One. So be IT. That Light deserves to shine.
What u experience will reveal to u what choice u make?
Evening
Today ego was working overtime. Can't say I look forward to it n perhaps I projected it to the rest. But they acknowledge n most are on leave.
Father, guide me.
Jus now I was feeling fearful n tot I can't do what CEO asked. Then I recalled, is ok, I won't die. So what if cannot meet margin, so be it. My main role is to be a gatekeeper, to report truth and not to ensure numbers are met.
If a man knows more than others, he becomes lonely.
Carl Jung
As a child, I felt myself alone, and I am still, because I know things and must hint at things which others apparently know nothing of, and for the most part do not want to know. Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or holding certain views which others find inadmissable. The loneliness began with the experiences of my early dreams and climax when I was working on my unconscious. If a man knows more than others, he becomes lonely.
But loneliness is not necessarily inimical to companionship, for no one is more sensitive to companionship than the lonely man and companionship thrives only when each individual remembers his individuality and does not identify himself with others.
Soul - this is speaking from my heart. I have always felt a close connection to CJ since 2000. It has been nearly 10 years and I bought this book in June 2001 and now after 10 years, am back to him again.
What do I want? In my career line, when I was doing Human Resource counselling/interviewing, I was happiest cos I impart on them something they didn't know before, I led them to how they can be more by being true to themselves. So, am I true to myself?
A tot came, to continue work n to take part time psychology. Take it so that I can grow internally n not be lonely, but not as a career. Can I do it? What abt d money n time? My work is quite strenuous (Another tot; is it? You have now streamline n ur work wil be easier in future. As for action plan, u r already good at it.)
Yea, how to be true when I am not willing to pay d price?
Father, calm me. Perhaps am wanting too much. Or maybe not, one of the main reason I want to marry a rich, spiritual and loving guy is that I don't have to work and I continue on my spiritual journey, jus learning and experimenting.
On isha yoga, I found it as a tool, not so keen to be their teacher.
Carl Jung
I have offended many people, for as soon as I saw that they do not understand me, that was the end of the matter so far as I was concerned. I had to move one. I had no patience with people - aside from my patients. For some people, I was continually present and close to them so long as they were related to my inner world; but then it might happen that I was no longer with them, because there was nothing left which would link me to them. I had to learn painfully that people continued to exist even when they had nothing more to say to me. Many excited in me a feeling of living humanity, but only when they appeared within the magic circle of psychology; next moment, when the spotlight is cast elsewhere, there was nothing to be seen. I was able to become intensely interested in many people, but as soon as I had seen through them, the magic was gone. In this way, I made many enemies. A creative person has little power over his own life. He is not free. He is captive and driven by his daimon. Perhaps I might say: I need people to a higher degree than others, and at the same time much less.
Soul - so much like me. I am only patient with my staff.
I who am sociable, can make acquaintance like a drop of fly, but I can count on my one hand, the few friends who I allowed to stayed with me. I found them during my early years of work, and I led them into my inner world. With the exception of an old good friend, the rest continued cos they let me explore n share my view. I am a source of knowledge, but when what I said 'hit them', they too shy away.
I know at times I should keep my mouth shut and these days I managed better cos to each its own. Even if I know where they r heading, who am I to direct them especially it is not asked.
Now I know why I dropped the CEO's PA cos she is not on the path, despite claiming to be and she has nothing more that I want to hear or share. So, I have dropped her.
Carl Jung
I am astonished, disappointed, pleased with myself. I am distressed, depressed, rapturous. I am all these things at once, and cannot add up the sum. I am incapable of determining ultimate worth or worthlessness;
I have no judgement about myself and my life.
Soul - exactly how I felt, but I judged myself cos I expect only to be rapturous. A good thing to note to accept my downturn.
Carl Jung
There is so much more that fills me; plants, animals, clouds, day and night, and the internal in man.
The more uncertain I have felt about myself, the more there has grown up in me, a feeling of kinship with all things.
In fact it seems to me as if that alienation which so long separated me from the world has become transferred into my own inner world, and has revealed to me an unexpected unfamiliarity with myself.
Soul - not sure abt that but there has been kinship wit tress I equate trees to human, but there is no judgement among them for their beauty or sizes. All is acceptable.
Recently I have taken to walking in the park and I felt energised.
As a child, I felt myself alone, and I am still, because I know things and must hint at things which others apparently know nothing of, and for the most part do not want to know. Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or holding certain views which others find inadmissable. The loneliness began with the experiences of my early dreams and climax when I was working on my unconscious. If a man knows more than others, he becomes lonely.
But loneliness is not necessarily inimical to companionship, for no one is more sensitive to companionship than the lonely man and companionship thrives only when each individual remembers his individuality and does not identify himself with others.
Soul - this is speaking from my heart. I have always felt a close connection to CJ since 2000. It has been nearly 10 years and I bought this book in June 2001 and now after 10 years, am back to him again.
What do I want? In my career line, when I was doing Human Resource counselling/interviewing, I was happiest cos I impart on them something they didn't know before, I led them to how they can be more by being true to themselves. So, am I true to myself?
A tot came, to continue work n to take part time psychology. Take it so that I can grow internally n not be lonely, but not as a career. Can I do it? What abt d money n time? My work is quite strenuous (Another tot; is it? You have now streamline n ur work wil be easier in future. As for action plan, u r already good at it.)
Yea, how to be true when I am not willing to pay d price?
Father, calm me. Perhaps am wanting too much. Or maybe not, one of the main reason I want to marry a rich, spiritual and loving guy is that I don't have to work and I continue on my spiritual journey, jus learning and experimenting.
On isha yoga, I found it as a tool, not so keen to be their teacher.
Carl Jung
I have offended many people, for as soon as I saw that they do not understand me, that was the end of the matter so far as I was concerned. I had to move one. I had no patience with people - aside from my patients. For some people, I was continually present and close to them so long as they were related to my inner world; but then it might happen that I was no longer with them, because there was nothing left which would link me to them. I had to learn painfully that people continued to exist even when they had nothing more to say to me. Many excited in me a feeling of living humanity, but only when they appeared within the magic circle of psychology; next moment, when the spotlight is cast elsewhere, there was nothing to be seen. I was able to become intensely interested in many people, but as soon as I had seen through them, the magic was gone. In this way, I made many enemies. A creative person has little power over his own life. He is not free. He is captive and driven by his daimon. Perhaps I might say: I need people to a higher degree than others, and at the same time much less.
Soul - so much like me. I am only patient with my staff.
I who am sociable, can make acquaintance like a drop of fly, but I can count on my one hand, the few friends who I allowed to stayed with me. I found them during my early years of work, and I led them into my inner world. With the exception of an old good friend, the rest continued cos they let me explore n share my view. I am a source of knowledge, but when what I said 'hit them', they too shy away.
I know at times I should keep my mouth shut and these days I managed better cos to each its own. Even if I know where they r heading, who am I to direct them especially it is not asked.
Now I know why I dropped the CEO's PA cos she is not on the path, despite claiming to be and she has nothing more that I want to hear or share. So, I have dropped her.
Carl Jung
I am astonished, disappointed, pleased with myself. I am distressed, depressed, rapturous. I am all these things at once, and cannot add up the sum. I am incapable of determining ultimate worth or worthlessness;
I have no judgement about myself and my life.
Soul - exactly how I felt, but I judged myself cos I expect only to be rapturous. A good thing to note to accept my downturn.
Carl Jung
There is so much more that fills me; plants, animals, clouds, day and night, and the internal in man.
The more uncertain I have felt about myself, the more there has grown up in me, a feeling of kinship with all things.
In fact it seems to me as if that alienation which so long separated me from the world has become transferred into my own inner world, and has revealed to me an unexpected unfamiliarity with myself.
Soul - not sure abt that but there has been kinship wit tress I equate trees to human, but there is no judgement among them for their beauty or sizes. All is acceptable.
Recently I have taken to walking in the park and I felt energised.
Watch your negative feeling grow to the extreme and suddenly Love will arise to give u opposite view!
Carl Jung
The decisive question for man is: Is he related to something infinite or not? That is the telling question in his life. Only if we know that the thing which truly matters is the infinite can we avoid fixing our interest upon futilities, and upon all kinds of goals which are not of real importance. Thus we demand that the world grant us recognition for qualities which we regard as personal posessions: our talent or our beauty.
The more a man lays stress on false possessions, and the less sensitivity he has for what is essential, the less satisfying is his life. He feels limited because he has limited aims and the result is envy and jealousy.
If we understand and feel that here in this life we already have a link with the infinite, desires and attitudes change.
In the final analysis, we count for something only because of the essential we embody, and if we do not embody that, life is wasted.
In our relationships to other men, too, the crucial question is whether an element of boundlessness is expressed in the relationship.
The feeling for the infinite, however, can be attained only if we are bounded to the utmost.
The greatest limitation for man is the "self"; it is manifested in the experience: "I am only that"
Our consciousness of our narrow confinement in the self forms the link to the limitlessness of the unconscious. In such awareness, we experience ourselves as concurrently as limited and eternal as both the one and the other.
In knowing ourselves to be unique in our personal combination - that is, ultimately limited - we possess also the capacity for becoming conscious of the infinite. But only then!
In an era which has concentrated exclusively upon extension of living space and increase of rational knowledge at all cost, it is a supreme challenge to ask man to become conscious of his uniqueness and his limitation. Uniqueness and limitation are synonymous. Without them, no perception of the unlimited is possible - and consequently, no coming to consciousness either - merely a delusory identity with it takes the form of intoxication with large numbers and avidity for political power.
Soul - Before I left office, there was an email, a misunderstanding of a situation by the client and I responded calmly via email. Then before I start meditation, I saw 2 emails from the client and ego start to conjures fears. I didn't want to read cos don't wan to be negatively affected in my meditation. I said I will read after meditation. So, while meditating, the fear arise that the client will be angry n may attack me n I be blamed n I even tot they used this excuse to fire us. Then immediately, a tot came, if the client does terminate us, ur boss will be retrenched n there is new hope for the company which is what u want. So, I laughed. Then I tot, a 2 extreme way of perceiving the situation, something that Carl mentioned yesterday.
I was just thinking of the 2 opposite end extreme perception of the same circumstances.
First from fear; fear that I am guilty and the Second from Love; love of myself, guiltless. And all things are acceptable cos we are acceptable.
If we can accept ourself (within), everything outside (without) is acceptable.
If we love ourself (within), everyone outside (without) is lovable.
If we think we are lovely (within), everyone outside is lovely too (without)
Suddenly tot of the cd - Way of Heart that states there are 2 doors within us, Fear's mind and God's mind, both of them sitting side by side of each other. Which door to be open, is our choice?
Why do we always perceive in fear first? Why can't perception from love takes precedent?
Perhaps for me, my precedent is stil fear based, but the love is very near now n followed closely behind the fear. In time, Love will catch up and overtake fear.
Afternoon
Was feeling disturbed n restless yday, didn't get much reprieve from the Weekly Osho cards and know I need further guidance. I click into Osho Transformation card
1. Issue - Energy. Energy need to be released creatively or else it wil turn sour n being released as anger. Find something that u can lose urself physically.
Soul - true. Last sunday I react against sisters for delay in appt, albeit a short moment. Not sure yet, I know d work was getting dull. But at least today has Bank Negara to keep me occupied.
2. Single mindedness
Mind is so cunning that it can hide in the garments of its very opposite. For and against, both are parts of the mind. When mind disappears, it disappears in a choiceless awareness. You become a light unto yourself.
Soul. Reminscient of yday mind's 2 sided perception on the email. First fear n then laughter n since it happened consecutively, I just felt relaxed and unconcerned of the direction of the emails. There is no fixed perception and hence no preference of any wanted outcome. I treated myself. Wonder if this the "Light unto myself" mentioned here.
3. Inner influence that u are unaware.
Failure. The open secret of real success.
The wave in the ocean never thinks of itself as separate, so wherever the ocean is taking her, she is willingly, joyously, dancingly moving in that directon.
So, how is it possible that can u walk away from the ocean?
All goes well - just trust. You need not keep hold of yourself, you can relax. There is no need to remain tense, because there is no private goal to be attained by you. You flow with God. God is ur goal, his destiny is yours.
Private destiny brings problem resulting in failure.
Success is within God and with God.
Soul - yeap, I was havin a private destiny. Was trying to find out what is my destiny, if I am on the right track, if am too fast or if I am too slow., judging myself and yet don't even know where I am.
So, jus be guided. Ashram - will volunteer for the spa. Yeap, my motivation is the food, I need not judge myself for being desperate, for my attachment for food, for letting go of my integrity, for doing volunteering not out of kind heart, but becos of food. So degradable. Ego tells me I sold myself for food.
Aiyah jus go wit the flow.
4. Direction of inner growth - Greed
Drop greed, and don't be bothered about the results. Sometimes it happens that becos of ur impatience, u miss many things. Time is unlimited. Time is not money, time is eternity.
Soul. Yeap, I was getting impatient, getting bored and turn into slight defensiveness. Think is not right, feeling ungrateful and was suppressing it. Judge how can I stil be angry, albeit for very short moment.
5. Key to integration - Anger.
In transformation, you never control, you simply become aware. Anger is happening -- it is a beautiful phenomenon, just like electricity in the clouds.
It may take time for the outer layer to relax, but the inner being has already relaxed. The cooperation wit ego has broken ... now u r not identified. The body will take a little time to cool down, but deep at the center, everything is cool.
Awareness is needed, not condemnation -- and through awareness, transformation happens spontaneously.
Don't be afraid - watch it grow n it will also disappear by itself.
Soul. Yday when d worry came. I judged myself for feeling worry, so no power over myself n trying to suppress it. Then I stop n I let the worry fast track and grows to the extreme point until client wanted to terminate contract. It was then the 2nd mind comes in.
Some relation there. Need not be fearful of my negative feeling. Need judge it. Let it come out n fast track to the end, it will die of natural death by the 2nd mind of Love. Amen
Jus tot of acceptability. Let me accept my negative emotion. It is becos I cannot accept mine, that perhaps I react negatively to PA. For I judge them since they proclaim to be "Good". Just like I proclaim to be good, to be meditative - which validates me. Any feeling or tots out-of-line will be judged by me.
The decisive question for man is: Is he related to something infinite or not? That is the telling question in his life. Only if we know that the thing which truly matters is the infinite can we avoid fixing our interest upon futilities, and upon all kinds of goals which are not of real importance. Thus we demand that the world grant us recognition for qualities which we regard as personal posessions: our talent or our beauty.
The more a man lays stress on false possessions, and the less sensitivity he has for what is essential, the less satisfying is his life. He feels limited because he has limited aims and the result is envy and jealousy.
If we understand and feel that here in this life we already have a link with the infinite, desires and attitudes change.
In the final analysis, we count for something only because of the essential we embody, and if we do not embody that, life is wasted.
In our relationships to other men, too, the crucial question is whether an element of boundlessness is expressed in the relationship.
The feeling for the infinite, however, can be attained only if we are bounded to the utmost.
The greatest limitation for man is the "self"; it is manifested in the experience: "I am only that"
Our consciousness of our narrow confinement in the self forms the link to the limitlessness of the unconscious. In such awareness, we experience ourselves as concurrently as limited and eternal as both the one and the other.
In knowing ourselves to be unique in our personal combination - that is, ultimately limited - we possess also the capacity for becoming conscious of the infinite. But only then!
In an era which has concentrated exclusively upon extension of living space and increase of rational knowledge at all cost, it is a supreme challenge to ask man to become conscious of his uniqueness and his limitation. Uniqueness and limitation are synonymous. Without them, no perception of the unlimited is possible - and consequently, no coming to consciousness either - merely a delusory identity with it takes the form of intoxication with large numbers and avidity for political power.
Soul - Before I left office, there was an email, a misunderstanding of a situation by the client and I responded calmly via email. Then before I start meditation, I saw 2 emails from the client and ego start to conjures fears. I didn't want to read cos don't wan to be negatively affected in my meditation. I said I will read after meditation. So, while meditating, the fear arise that the client will be angry n may attack me n I be blamed n I even tot they used this excuse to fire us. Then immediately, a tot came, if the client does terminate us, ur boss will be retrenched n there is new hope for the company which is what u want. So, I laughed. Then I tot, a 2 extreme way of perceiving the situation, something that Carl mentioned yesterday.
I was just thinking of the 2 opposite end extreme perception of the same circumstances.
First from fear; fear that I am guilty and the Second from Love; love of myself, guiltless. And all things are acceptable cos we are acceptable.
If we can accept ourself (within), everything outside (without) is acceptable.
If we love ourself (within), everyone outside (without) is lovable.
If we think we are lovely (within), everyone outside is lovely too (without)
Suddenly tot of the cd - Way of Heart that states there are 2 doors within us, Fear's mind and God's mind, both of them sitting side by side of each other. Which door to be open, is our choice?
Why do we always perceive in fear first? Why can't perception from love takes precedent?
Perhaps for me, my precedent is stil fear based, but the love is very near now n followed closely behind the fear. In time, Love will catch up and overtake fear.
Afternoon
Was feeling disturbed n restless yday, didn't get much reprieve from the Weekly Osho cards and know I need further guidance. I click into Osho Transformation card
1. Issue - Energy. Energy need to be released creatively or else it wil turn sour n being released as anger. Find something that u can lose urself physically.
Soul - true. Last sunday I react against sisters for delay in appt, albeit a short moment. Not sure yet, I know d work was getting dull. But at least today has Bank Negara to keep me occupied.
2. Single mindedness
Mind is so cunning that it can hide in the garments of its very opposite. For and against, both are parts of the mind. When mind disappears, it disappears in a choiceless awareness. You become a light unto yourself.
Soul. Reminscient of yday mind's 2 sided perception on the email. First fear n then laughter n since it happened consecutively, I just felt relaxed and unconcerned of the direction of the emails. There is no fixed perception and hence no preference of any wanted outcome. I treated myself. Wonder if this the "Light unto myself" mentioned here.
3. Inner influence that u are unaware.
Failure. The open secret of real success.
The wave in the ocean never thinks of itself as separate, so wherever the ocean is taking her, she is willingly, joyously, dancingly moving in that directon.
So, how is it possible that can u walk away from the ocean?
All goes well - just trust. You need not keep hold of yourself, you can relax. There is no need to remain tense, because there is no private goal to be attained by you. You flow with God. God is ur goal, his destiny is yours.
Private destiny brings problem resulting in failure.
Success is within God and with God.
Soul - yeap, I was havin a private destiny. Was trying to find out what is my destiny, if I am on the right track, if am too fast or if I am too slow., judging myself and yet don't even know where I am.
So, jus be guided. Ashram - will volunteer for the spa. Yeap, my motivation is the food, I need not judge myself for being desperate, for my attachment for food, for letting go of my integrity, for doing volunteering not out of kind heart, but becos of food. So degradable. Ego tells me I sold myself for food.
Aiyah jus go wit the flow.
4. Direction of inner growth - Greed
Drop greed, and don't be bothered about the results. Sometimes it happens that becos of ur impatience, u miss many things. Time is unlimited. Time is not money, time is eternity.
Soul. Yeap, I was getting impatient, getting bored and turn into slight defensiveness. Think is not right, feeling ungrateful and was suppressing it. Judge how can I stil be angry, albeit for very short moment.
5. Key to integration - Anger.
In transformation, you never control, you simply become aware. Anger is happening -- it is a beautiful phenomenon, just like electricity in the clouds.
It may take time for the outer layer to relax, but the inner being has already relaxed. The cooperation wit ego has broken ... now u r not identified. The body will take a little time to cool down, but deep at the center, everything is cool.
Awareness is needed, not condemnation -- and through awareness, transformation happens spontaneously.
Don't be afraid - watch it grow n it will also disappear by itself.
Soul. Yday when d worry came. I judged myself for feeling worry, so no power over myself n trying to suppress it. Then I stop n I let the worry fast track and grows to the extreme point until client wanted to terminate contract. It was then the 2nd mind comes in.
Some relation there. Need not be fearful of my negative feeling. Need judge it. Let it come out n fast track to the end, it will die of natural death by the 2nd mind of Love. Amen
Jus tot of acceptability. Let me accept my negative emotion. It is becos I cannot accept mine, that perhaps I react negatively to PA. For I judge them since they proclaim to be "Good". Just like I proclaim to be good, to be meditative - which validates me. Any feeling or tots out-of-line will be judged by me.
Why I still judge? Why am I not there yet??
Carl Jung
Man's task is to become conscious of the contents that press upward from his unconscious. Neither should he persist in his unconsciousness, nor remain identical with the unconscious elements of his being, thus evading his destiny, which is to create more consciousness.
As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.
It may even be assumed that just as the unconscious affect us, so the increase in our consciousness affects the unconscious
Evening
Today loads of air release from my guts. A good release. Too much stale air bottling up inside me. I guess I still cannot let go of the PA. I offered olive branch earlier but she rebutted and now like a crab I retreat.
Also, not sure lah. Perhaps its d best if we separate. But m not sure the separation is for her or for me. i.e do I do judge her, just like I judge myself.
I am still pondering, if this little thing also I can’t let go (something which I would have let go previously), what good is meditation? How have I transformed? Did I transformed? When will it happen? Will get a guide from Sadhguru.
Sadhguru
Only when a person has gone beyond his personality, is there a possibility of enlightenment.
Mango trees. The moment if the sapling springs out, the mango appears, the tree could die. The little plant would die if a huge mango come out of that little plant. It takes time. Nature is allowing time for this mango sapling to grow to certain sturdiness, a certain strength, a certain maturity and balance, a certain capability to hold its ground. Only then it flowers and bears fruit.
Similarly, an enlightened being has a certain quality enshrined in him, which cannot be taken away. The quality will wait for a certain time and space where they can find expression. Until then they wait; this is nature's intelligence. It knows exactly when it should flower to find maximum fruit.
If it flowers too early, it will not find its full potential. So, it will wait depending upon what type of work he is intending to take up.
Sufficient space has to be given so that the mind, the body and the emotions develop and mature in a certain way before other dimension becomes alive in that person. Then he can hold it much better.
Soul - same msg on "don't be greedy ; to wait. Also inside is flowering and is ripe n now waiting for right time to bear fruit.
Man's task is to become conscious of the contents that press upward from his unconscious. Neither should he persist in his unconsciousness, nor remain identical with the unconscious elements of his being, thus evading his destiny, which is to create more consciousness.
As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.
It may even be assumed that just as the unconscious affect us, so the increase in our consciousness affects the unconscious
Evening
Today loads of air release from my guts. A good release. Too much stale air bottling up inside me. I guess I still cannot let go of the PA. I offered olive branch earlier but she rebutted and now like a crab I retreat.
Also, not sure lah. Perhaps its d best if we separate. But m not sure the separation is for her or for me. i.e do I do judge her, just like I judge myself.
I am still pondering, if this little thing also I can’t let go (something which I would have let go previously), what good is meditation? How have I transformed? Did I transformed? When will it happen? Will get a guide from Sadhguru.
Sadhguru
Only when a person has gone beyond his personality, is there a possibility of enlightenment.
Mango trees. The moment if the sapling springs out, the mango appears, the tree could die. The little plant would die if a huge mango come out of that little plant. It takes time. Nature is allowing time for this mango sapling to grow to certain sturdiness, a certain strength, a certain maturity and balance, a certain capability to hold its ground. Only then it flowers and bears fruit.
Similarly, an enlightened being has a certain quality enshrined in him, which cannot be taken away. The quality will wait for a certain time and space where they can find expression. Until then they wait; this is nature's intelligence. It knows exactly when it should flower to find maximum fruit.
If it flowers too early, it will not find its full potential. So, it will wait depending upon what type of work he is intending to take up.
Sufficient space has to be given so that the mind, the body and the emotions develop and mature in a certain way before other dimension becomes alive in that person. Then he can hold it much better.
Soul - same msg on "don't be greedy ; to wait. Also inside is flowering and is ripe n now waiting for right time to bear fruit.
Ego and Psyche views Catastrophe in complete opposites view
Carl Jung
Most people identify themselves almost exclusively with their consciousness, and imagine that they are only what they know about themselves. Yet anyone with even a smattering of psychology can see how limited this knowledge is.
Dreams send d hints from unconsciousness to us.
Day after day, we live far beyond our consciousness; without our knowledge, the life of the unconscious is also going on within us.
The more critical reason dominates, the more impoverished life becomes; but the more of the unconscious, and the more of myth we are capable of making conscious, the more of life we integrate. Overvalued reason has this in common with political absolutism; under its dominion, the individual is pauperized.
Soul - this is answering my question of fear to Friend yesterday, what happen if I go in further, would I be accepted. Would my life be ok.? CJ is saying to integrate - to include the unconsciousness. When I started to journey, is to open up unconsciousness, all d wounds n to overcome it. But now to live with it, something I didn't set out to do. Yea, d fight is letting my unconsciousness to live too. I was afraid n that is why I didn't like having dreams. Not jus becos it interrupt my sleep but bcos I don't know what is going on. I also worried unconscious will take over, like me laughing whole way in the drive home.
I recall d iceberg - both conscious n unconscious in one piece of ice berg, so both is me and here I am suppressing my unconsciousness. Previously I suppressed my emotion n now I have let go. I suppress my unconsciousness. The control/suppression took a step backward n is not remove yet.
Carl Jung
The unconsciousness helps by communicating things to us, or making figurative allusions. It has other ways, too, of informing us of things, which by logic, we could not possibly know.
I was sad about my mother death but it was impossible to yield entirely to my sorrow. Again and again, it was on the point of overwhelming me, but the next moment I would find myself once more engulfed by the merry melodies.
One side of me had a feeling of warmth and joy, and the other terror and grief; I was thrown back and forth between these contrasting emotions.
This paradox can be explained if we suppose that at one moment death was being represented from the point of view of the ego and at the next moment from that of the psyche. In the first case via ego, it appears as a catastrophe.
From another point of view, death appears as a joyfule event. The soul attains, as it were, its missing half, it achieves wholeness.
Souk - exactly what I experienced during meditation. Whenever I was worried about something and the ego is extrapolating to the max/worst case scenario, suddenly a different tot came, so what if that worst case happen..and i start to giggle and laughter burst out...strange..but has happens many times. So, these days, don't take my fears seriously. But its good to have CJ experiencing the same and sort of said I am on the right track.....amen
Most people identify themselves almost exclusively with their consciousness, and imagine that they are only what they know about themselves. Yet anyone with even a smattering of psychology can see how limited this knowledge is.
Dreams send d hints from unconsciousness to us.
Day after day, we live far beyond our consciousness; without our knowledge, the life of the unconscious is also going on within us.
The more critical reason dominates, the more impoverished life becomes; but the more of the unconscious, and the more of myth we are capable of making conscious, the more of life we integrate. Overvalued reason has this in common with political absolutism; under its dominion, the individual is pauperized.
Soul - this is answering my question of fear to Friend yesterday, what happen if I go in further, would I be accepted. Would my life be ok.? CJ is saying to integrate - to include the unconsciousness. When I started to journey, is to open up unconsciousness, all d wounds n to overcome it. But now to live with it, something I didn't set out to do. Yea, d fight is letting my unconsciousness to live too. I was afraid n that is why I didn't like having dreams. Not jus becos it interrupt my sleep but bcos I don't know what is going on. I also worried unconscious will take over, like me laughing whole way in the drive home.
I recall d iceberg - both conscious n unconscious in one piece of ice berg, so both is me and here I am suppressing my unconsciousness. Previously I suppressed my emotion n now I have let go. I suppress my unconsciousness. The control/suppression took a step backward n is not remove yet.
Carl Jung
The unconsciousness helps by communicating things to us, or making figurative allusions. It has other ways, too, of informing us of things, which by logic, we could not possibly know.
I was sad about my mother death but it was impossible to yield entirely to my sorrow. Again and again, it was on the point of overwhelming me, but the next moment I would find myself once more engulfed by the merry melodies.
One side of me had a feeling of warmth and joy, and the other terror and grief; I was thrown back and forth between these contrasting emotions.
This paradox can be explained if we suppose that at one moment death was being represented from the point of view of the ego and at the next moment from that of the psyche. In the first case via ego, it appears as a catastrophe.
From another point of view, death appears as a joyfule event. The soul attains, as it were, its missing half, it achieves wholeness.
Souk - exactly what I experienced during meditation. Whenever I was worried about something and the ego is extrapolating to the max/worst case scenario, suddenly a different tot came, so what if that worst case happen..and i start to giggle and laughter burst out...strange..but has happens many times. So, these days, don't take my fears seriously. But its good to have CJ experiencing the same and sort of said I am on the right track.....amen
Its ok to have mistakes in your journey
July 20
Suddenly tot of my swim last Saturday. It was so meditative. My strokes were relaxed n I find myself comfortable even when my head was in water, I was not grasping for breathe n I swam abt 6 rounds at ease.
I am now at ease in the water. My Home.
Carl Jung
After my illness, an unconditional "Yes" to that which is, without subjective protests - acceptance of the conditions of existence as I see them and understand them, acceptance of my own nature, as I happen to be.
At the beginning of the illness, I had a feeling that there was something wrong with my attitude, and that I was to some extent be responsible for the mishap. But when one follows the path of individuation, when one lives one own's live, one must take mistakes into the bargain; life would not be complete without them.
There is no guarantee - not for a single moment - that we will not fall into error or stumble into deadly peril. We may think there is a sure road. But that would be the road of death. Then nothing happens any longer - at any rate, not the right thing. Anyone who takes the sure road is as good as dead.
It is important to affirm one's own destiny. In this way, we forge an ego that does not break down when incomprehensible things happen; an ego that endures, that endures the truth, that is capable of coping with the world and wit fate. Then to experience death, is also to experience victory. Nothing is disturbed - neither inwardly nor outwardly.
But that can come to pass only when one does not meddle inquisitively with the workings of fate.
Soul - so apt. So reminiscent of what I believe and now come to have some partial experience.
The last para, I think is talking abt going with the flow. When we have a chance, trust it, go wit it. Don't stop it. Like what I am doing with Shoonya.
Carl Jung
I have also realised that one must accept the thoughts that go on within oneself and of their own accord, as part of one's reality.
The categories of true and false are, of course, always present, but because they are not binding, they take second place.
The presence of thoughts is more important that our subjective judgement of them.
But neither these judgements be suppressed for they also are an existent thoughts which are part of our wholeness
Soul - Amen. Suddenly tot of my close friend. Her validation is being a good daughter, a good friend n boss - that is why nothing should be allow to trigger it. Alas, I understood her make up.
Suddenly tot of my swim last Saturday. It was so meditative. My strokes were relaxed n I find myself comfortable even when my head was in water, I was not grasping for breathe n I swam abt 6 rounds at ease.
I am now at ease in the water. My Home.
Carl Jung
After my illness, an unconditional "Yes" to that which is, without subjective protests - acceptance of the conditions of existence as I see them and understand them, acceptance of my own nature, as I happen to be.
At the beginning of the illness, I had a feeling that there was something wrong with my attitude, and that I was to some extent be responsible for the mishap. But when one follows the path of individuation, when one lives one own's live, one must take mistakes into the bargain; life would not be complete without them.
There is no guarantee - not for a single moment - that we will not fall into error or stumble into deadly peril. We may think there is a sure road. But that would be the road of death. Then nothing happens any longer - at any rate, not the right thing. Anyone who takes the sure road is as good as dead.
It is important to affirm one's own destiny. In this way, we forge an ego that does not break down when incomprehensible things happen; an ego that endures, that endures the truth, that is capable of coping with the world and wit fate. Then to experience death, is also to experience victory. Nothing is disturbed - neither inwardly nor outwardly.
But that can come to pass only when one does not meddle inquisitively with the workings of fate.
Soul - so apt. So reminiscent of what I believe and now come to have some partial experience.
The last para, I think is talking abt going with the flow. When we have a chance, trust it, go wit it. Don't stop it. Like what I am doing with Shoonya.
Carl Jung
I have also realised that one must accept the thoughts that go on within oneself and of their own accord, as part of one's reality.
The categories of true and false are, of course, always present, but because they are not binding, they take second place.
The presence of thoughts is more important that our subjective judgement of them.
But neither these judgements be suppressed for they also are an existent thoughts which are part of our wholeness
Soul - Amen. Suddenly tot of my close friend. Her validation is being a good daughter, a good friend n boss - that is why nothing should be allow to trigger it. Alas, I understood her make up.
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