Monday, August 3, 2009

If u wan to rule, u rule even if u think u r suffering

Father, thank u. This mornin I woke up abt 5 am, I had a dream, can't recall. Perhaps is abt work. Then my tot was I love me and I relaxed myself and jus be at ease till d alarm rang for meditation.
I have resigned myself to this meditation. I told myself this is the Love I give to myself, to let my Inner Being room to grow and it can grow only via meditation. So, I need to feed it. I also said be patient, the Outer Being has been here for 42 years and Inner only 9 mths, so give it time to catch up.

My osho reading
1. Issue - Guilt - I guess this is abt me feeling guilty that I still didn't listen, stil feelin bit impatient

2. Internal - Transformation, Allowing any pain, sorrow or difficulty to juist be there, accepting its "facticity". Knowing there is nothing more I can do. Transformation comes, like death, in its own time. And like death, it takes u from one dimension into another.
- I guess this is telling me while there is no outward major transformation, internal is being transformed. And all hidden fear being transformed. All d issues in the office, accept it. Also to remind me, transformation cannot be controlled by me, when its time, it will happen.

4. External - laziness.
Well, I been lazy, especially during weekend. Last sunday, after meditation, exercise and Tesco, I watched TV whole day, don't want to think.
There is more to come.

3. What is needed - Receptivity. Listening means forgetting urself completely, only then u can listen. God can reach u only when u r receptive, the door is open - and u WAIT.
Don't let ur busy and aggressive mind to hinder ur receptivity. Once u become receptive, sensitivity, intuition and compassion are qualities that shine forth.

Soul - the frequency must match in order for u to have clear reception.

5. Resolution - Patience.
With great trust, knowing that the old was gone, and the new will soon be coming.
We have forgotten to wait, we want everything in a hurry.
In silence and waiting, something inside u goes on growing. And one day, it jumps and becomes a flame, and ur whole personality shattered; u r a new man.
Let nature takes its course. It is a time full of mystery, like the hours just before the dawn. It is a time when the only thing to do is wait.

Soul - amen.

Yday for the first time, I wished for new biz, for growth instead of contraction. CEO needs d job and she has pays her dues n the company is still profitable. If company treasures her, who am I to judge. Even if she can't let go, I can't judge. All in good time, I now look at 3 years - by end of this year, will be 2 years.

Deliberate Intent
Your emotion, in every moment, gives u an indication of the vibrational relationship between the Non Physical You and the physical u.
Nothing is more important than this relationship, and nothing can enhance ur physical experience more than an understanding of ur own emotions, for they will tell u everything u need to know about the vibrational rship.
Your emotion tells u the frequency u r in.
When u r not aligned with Ur Source, u will have a feeling of void. Almost all try to fill the void be seeking acceptance, getting validation.

Sometimes u can be influenced into alignment thru
1. Observing something wonderful
2. Met someone who is experiencing their own alignment
3. Appreciation of something/someone

Never, under any conditions, feels anything less than love and appreciation for that which you are.
Never be unkind to urself or to others.

Soul - At the moment, I have unkind tots of CEO and PA. Just have to focus on expasion, getting in new revenue instead of contraction, hoping they both leave

Deliberate Intent
You are the creator of your own experience and no one else has the power within ur experience. And that is true for everyone.

Soul - my lamenting - why I always attract dying company. And that is why I keep on attracting. Perhaps I was dying inside too. Now I am alive and another 40 years to live joyously. I want a growing company cos I am growing myself.

Life is about creation.
Life is not abt problem solving. I was validated by that. Now I want to create. I already started by cooking twice - cream corn custard and grilled portobello mushroom with bacon and cheese.
This weekend, I do my portobello mushroom pizza with bacon.

Evenin
Was feeling afraid again. Feeling like being made to suffer - why I need to take charge? Haven't I proven myself already?? How much more do I hv to take before I am finally accepted or before this all ends

Sadhguru
If u want to rule, u have to sit on the seat. Wherever u r put, u jus do ur work. It does not matter what the situation is, what's the result of ur action is, because that's what u do anyway. If the put u in hell, that's what u do. If they put u in heaven, still, that is what u do. This releases u from action.
First of all, this releases u from the fruit of action. Once u r released, the action will happen by itself. You don't have to stop working to be released from action. Simply, it will dissolve, melt and disappear. Once the expectation of the fruit of action is completely removed from your life, the action occurs by itself. You don't have to do anything about it.
Heaven, hell or earth, in any different situation, u will be the same. Once u r like this, u r released from external situations.
If u run away and sit in the mountain, u will not become free. This is the way to work it out. It has to be worked out.


Soul - I wanted to rule. To rule, I just take charge wherever I am, even in hell. I think this is the path I must take.

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