Carl Jung
The decisive question for man is: Is he related to something infinite or not? That is the telling question in his life. Only if we know that the thing which truly matters is the infinite can we avoid fixing our interest upon futilities, and upon all kinds of goals which are not of real importance. Thus we demand that the world grant us recognition for qualities which we regard as personal posessions: our talent or our beauty.
The more a man lays stress on false possessions, and the less sensitivity he has for what is essential, the less satisfying is his life. He feels limited because he has limited aims and the result is envy and jealousy.
If we understand and feel that here in this life we already have a link with the infinite, desires and attitudes change.
In the final analysis, we count for something only because of the essential we embody, and if we do not embody that, life is wasted.
In our relationships to other men, too, the crucial question is whether an element of boundlessness is expressed in the relationship.
The feeling for the infinite, however, can be attained only if we are bounded to the utmost.
The greatest limitation for man is the "self"; it is manifested in the experience: "I am only that"
Our consciousness of our narrow confinement in the self forms the link to the limitlessness of the unconscious. In such awareness, we experience ourselves as concurrently as limited and eternal as both the one and the other.
In knowing ourselves to be unique in our personal combination - that is, ultimately limited - we possess also the capacity for becoming conscious of the infinite. But only then!
In an era which has concentrated exclusively upon extension of living space and increase of rational knowledge at all cost, it is a supreme challenge to ask man to become conscious of his uniqueness and his limitation. Uniqueness and limitation are synonymous. Without them, no perception of the unlimited is possible - and consequently, no coming to consciousness either - merely a delusory identity with it takes the form of intoxication with large numbers and avidity for political power.
Soul - Before I left office, there was an email, a misunderstanding of a situation by the client and I responded calmly via email. Then before I start meditation, I saw 2 emails from the client and ego start to conjures fears. I didn't want to read cos don't wan to be negatively affected in my meditation. I said I will read after meditation. So, while meditating, the fear arise that the client will be angry n may attack me n I be blamed n I even tot they used this excuse to fire us. Then immediately, a tot came, if the client does terminate us, ur boss will be retrenched n there is new hope for the company which is what u want. So, I laughed. Then I tot, a 2 extreme way of perceiving the situation, something that Carl mentioned yesterday.
I was just thinking of the 2 opposite end extreme perception of the same circumstances.
First from fear; fear that I am guilty and the Second from Love; love of myself, guiltless. And all things are acceptable cos we are acceptable.
If we can accept ourself (within), everything outside (without) is acceptable.
If we love ourself (within), everyone outside (without) is lovable.
If we think we are lovely (within), everyone outside is lovely too (without)
Suddenly tot of the cd - Way of Heart that states there are 2 doors within us, Fear's mind and God's mind, both of them sitting side by side of each other. Which door to be open, is our choice?
Why do we always perceive in fear first? Why can't perception from love takes precedent?
Perhaps for me, my precedent is stil fear based, but the love is very near now n followed closely behind the fear. In time, Love will catch up and overtake fear.
Afternoon
Was feeling disturbed n restless yday, didn't get much reprieve from the Weekly Osho cards and know I need further guidance. I click into Osho Transformation card
1. Issue - Energy. Energy need to be released creatively or else it wil turn sour n being released as anger. Find something that u can lose urself physically.
Soul - true. Last sunday I react against sisters for delay in appt, albeit a short moment. Not sure yet, I know d work was getting dull. But at least today has Bank Negara to keep me occupied.
2. Single mindedness
Mind is so cunning that it can hide in the garments of its very opposite. For and against, both are parts of the mind. When mind disappears, it disappears in a choiceless awareness. You become a light unto yourself.
Soul. Reminscient of yday mind's 2 sided perception on the email. First fear n then laughter n since it happened consecutively, I just felt relaxed and unconcerned of the direction of the emails. There is no fixed perception and hence no preference of any wanted outcome. I treated myself. Wonder if this the "Light unto myself" mentioned here.
3. Inner influence that u are unaware.
Failure. The open secret of real success.
The wave in the ocean never thinks of itself as separate, so wherever the ocean is taking her, she is willingly, joyously, dancingly moving in that directon.
So, how is it possible that can u walk away from the ocean?
All goes well - just trust. You need not keep hold of yourself, you can relax. There is no need to remain tense, because there is no private goal to be attained by you. You flow with God. God is ur goal, his destiny is yours.
Private destiny brings problem resulting in failure.
Success is within God and with God.
Soul - yeap, I was havin a private destiny. Was trying to find out what is my destiny, if I am on the right track, if am too fast or if I am too slow., judging myself and yet don't even know where I am.
So, jus be guided. Ashram - will volunteer for the spa. Yeap, my motivation is the food, I need not judge myself for being desperate, for my attachment for food, for letting go of my integrity, for doing volunteering not out of kind heart, but becos of food. So degradable. Ego tells me I sold myself for food.
Aiyah jus go wit the flow.
4. Direction of inner growth - Greed
Drop greed, and don't be bothered about the results. Sometimes it happens that becos of ur impatience, u miss many things. Time is unlimited. Time is not money, time is eternity.
Soul. Yeap, I was getting impatient, getting bored and turn into slight defensiveness. Think is not right, feeling ungrateful and was suppressing it. Judge how can I stil be angry, albeit for very short moment.
5. Key to integration - Anger.
In transformation, you never control, you simply become aware. Anger is happening -- it is a beautiful phenomenon, just like electricity in the clouds.
It may take time for the outer layer to relax, but the inner being has already relaxed. The cooperation wit ego has broken ... now u r not identified. The body will take a little time to cool down, but deep at the center, everything is cool.
Awareness is needed, not condemnation -- and through awareness, transformation happens spontaneously.
Don't be afraid - watch it grow n it will also disappear by itself.
Soul. Yday when d worry came. I judged myself for feeling worry, so no power over myself n trying to suppress it. Then I stop n I let the worry fast track and grows to the extreme point until client wanted to terminate contract. It was then the 2nd mind comes in.
Some relation there. Need not be fearful of my negative feeling. Need judge it. Let it come out n fast track to the end, it will die of natural death by the 2nd mind of Love. Amen
Jus tot of acceptability. Let me accept my negative emotion. It is becos I cannot accept mine, that perhaps I react negatively to PA. For I judge them since they proclaim to be "Good". Just like I proclaim to be good, to be meditative - which validates me. Any feeling or tots out-of-line will be judged by me.
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