Why I still judge? Why am I not there yet??

Carl Jung
Man's task is to become conscious of the contents that press upward from his unconscious. Neither should he persist in his unconsciousness, nor remain identical with the unconscious elements of his being, thus evading his destiny, which is to create more consciousness.
As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.
It may even be assumed that just as the unconscious affect us, so the increase in our consciousness affects the unconscious

Evening
Today loads of air release from my guts. A good release. Too much stale air bottling up inside me. I guess I still cannot let go of the PA. I offered olive branch earlier but she rebutted and now like a crab I retreat.
Also, not sure lah. Perhaps its d best if we separate. But m not sure the separation is for her or for me. i.e do I do judge her, just like I judge myself.
I am still pondering, if this little thing also I can’t let go (something which I would have let go previously), what good is meditation? How have I transformed? Did I transformed? When will it happen? Will get a guide from Sadhguru.

Sadhguru
Only when a person has gone beyond his personality, is there a possibility of enlightenment.

Mango trees. The moment if the sapling springs out, the mango appears, the tree could die. The little plant would die if a huge mango come out of that little plant. It takes time. Nature is allowing time for this mango sapling to grow to certain sturdiness, a certain strength, a certain maturity and balance, a certain capability to hold its ground. Only then it flowers and bears fruit.
Similarly, an enlightened being has a certain quality enshrined in him, which cannot be taken away. The quality will wait for a certain time and space where they can find expression. Until then they wait; this is nature's intelligence. It knows exactly when it should flower to find maximum fruit.
If it flowers too early, it will not find its full potential. So, it will wait depending upon what type of work he is intending to take up.
Sufficient space has to be given so that the mind, the body and the emotions develop and mature in a certain way before other dimension becomes alive in that person. Then he can hold it much better.

Soul - same msg on "don't be greedy ; to wait. Also inside is flowering and is ripe n now waiting for right time to bear fruit.