The most important is for me to feel good!

Aug 3
Father, thank u.
Like I said, d best thing is expansion, we got new biz of to replace the biz lost.
But part of me thinks the CEO’s pebble should be bigger than mine and hence I cannot change the situation.
So, for now, I jus wished that I won't get sucked into this dilemma. Whatever happens, m fine. Also to remember that I can have Regional as back up. As Regional boss said, I am the gatekeeper.

Suddenly tot of rental. Aiuah, never mind, my financial security is not affected by it cos the net 650 is jus saving for me n hence won't affect my lifestyle.

Good thing is I want to continue making a dish every Sunday. I want my family to savour my creation. M glad I started it. Makes me fulfilled.

Yday d Korean drama abt 40 year old Doctor and Engineer, both not married. D guy love food, jus like me. Comfortable eating alone and savouring the food, so much like me. He said he is comfortable not married. Lots of people view marriage as the end goal in life n hence feel insecure if they didn't get reach their goal. So, d way to feel secure is just to change ur goal post. Clever.

Deliberate Creation
When u make the effort to come into closer vibrational alignment with that Non-Physical part of urself, u open urself to that wisdom, love, Well-Being and power. When u r in alignment with ur Source, u experience clarity, vitality, enthusiasm, passion, and Well Being that is natural to u.

The better u feel, the more u r allowing ur Connection to ur Source.
The worse u feel, the less u r allowing ur Connection to ur Source.

No one can get inside u and offer ur vibration for u, for it is only ur own vibrational offering that affects ur personal experience.

Nothing is more important that u feel good. Then u have now decided to deliberately manage the vibrational relationship between u and ur Source.
You have decided to use the Guidance system that u were born with to monitor and control the vibrational relativity between ur current focus and subsequent vibration, and that of ur Being.
You have decided to tend to ur Connection with ur Source. You have decided to thrive rather than pinch off ur Connection.
You have chosen clarity; vitality; eagerness, abundance of all things you consider to be good and joyful.

Soul
Me, what is my goal? To be enlighten and to guide others too. To share my love n knowledge.

I want to be safe to do the right thing. I want not to be coerced into doing wrong thing. Protecting the company is more important than protecting myself. Especially in this case, even if cut to 50 headcounts, my position still secure. I want to be the Gatekeeper. I will hail out to Regional if pressed.
That is what I want.
The outcome is not important. What is important is I stand my ground as a Gatekeeper.

Deliberate Creation
When u care about how u feel, and u deliberately try to look at things in ways that feel better n better to u. Then u will allow more and resist less - the circumstances and events of ur life will begin to reflect those changes immediately.
Relief - releasing of resistance - allowing

Soul
When I was in d toilet. I said forget abt judging n projection. My issue is I was not able to stand firm as a Gate Keeper. Don't blame CEO and others for not bringing in new biz. Don't blame them for their self denial. Don't blame them for not taking responsibility to do a cut off their salary. Jus looked at myself n where I stand as a Gatekeeper.
I used to pride myself as Problem solver, irrespective of the situation n my integrity is shaken. Well, no more.
Here I tot I hav professional integrity but I hav not as my job validates me more.
I am at ease now, not projecting on the CEO and GM or myself.
This is an extreme contrast situation to make me aware n choose again n come back to What I am - fearlessness of not meeting expectation, fearlessness of being shunned, fearlessness of losing my job.


7 of Spades
Rise to higher levels of thinking, speaking and acting in areas of work and health, whereby u hold negative patterns

If u r willing to take responsibility for ur condition

Yasmin Ahmad’s blog
Yoju Yamada
While I knead clay, form is spontaneously born. Thinking about what form to adopt or what colour to use makes little sense. I wait until a form appears. But spontaneous forms don't come easily. While wanting to make good ceramics, or waiting for the praise of others, our work is poor.
The secret in clay making is in Digging. Something beautiful is hiding in the clay. Its asking us to dig it out .... begging us.

Yasmin
Whatever we are doing, be it medical research, or aerodynamics or clay or even writing script, there is one thing we would do well to remember. And that is our job is not to invent, but to search; to dig until God's truth and beauty reveal themselves.

Soul
Tot of my and my inner journey for peace. I have been worrying abt the form of transformation, worried abt being a fool to undertake the journey, worry no one would understand me. Worry of how I would become.
This msg just said that the Truth is in me. I just walk the Path n need not concern myself on what is the Outcome. The Truth will be.

Afternoon
Again CEO come to me to seek assurance. I didn't share with her the Staff costs issue cos don't wan to get her riled up as she has her hands full.
Actually, my fear was not able to meet her approval. I now knew the approval come wit a price too high to pay and I no longer wan to pay the price. So be it, if she wants to scream n shout on why I can't give her Action Plan. How to give when she is only lookin at expansion and not contraction. My previous action plan bought us time for one and half year.
Anyway, I got no more action plan and she can rant and rave all she wants.
I wil stand firm and if required activate Regional cos I am no longer afraid. What she is asking is bullshitting thru n shake my integrity as Gatekeeper.
I don't want to be a problem solver. I don't wan to risk my integrity jus to seek validation.
Besides I now knew no one can do it, so why should I kill myself. Jus like what I judged my ex bosses for pumping up budget figures.
Remember this too will pass. Besides who knows Regional willing have a lower profit