Being the watcher of Now

Jan 25
Father, thank u. Instead of focusing d loss of food sense pleasure. Perhaps its my over attachment n all sensation use for food.
Also since there were no news on ptnr, I start to doubt my Passion. Well, things r in progress. Let's face it, regardless of what's d outcome, I will be exploring things that I enjoy - people. So, appreciate that also.

I know I slept less than 4 hours yday, but yet m feeling fine. So, be happy for that too.
Mostly be happy that I found my Guru and Father is always there for me. I m back to Bhagavad Gita, not as a daily read but as and when I need to.
Yday topic of feeling indifferent, feeling stagnant is so apt. Like I told d fellow meditators yday, everytime I m down, Father will always send someone/something to life me up again.
Everytime I lost faith, I will be motivated.

The power of now. Once u have understood the basic principle of being present as the watcher of what happens inside you - and you "understand" it by experiencing it - you have at ur disposal the most potent transformational tool.

Soul - m beginning to use it. Last Friday, during d mgm meeting, again topic of increment, I was getting riled up. But I watched n said don't have to express it now. Just let it be.

The power of Now
Nobody can do it for u. But if u are fortunate enough to find someone who is intensely conscious, if u can be wit them and join them in the state of presence, that can be helpful and will accelerate things. In this way, ur own light will quickly grow stronger.
After all, d light is the same fire. To be such a fire is one of the function of a spiritual teacher.
Some therapists may also be able to fulfill that function, provided that they have gone beyond the level of mind and can create and sustain a state of intense conscious presence while they r working wit u.

Soul - that's reaffirming Sadhguru is my guru. I m very fortunate. I didn't searh but I had a longing and it came at d right time, d right situation.

The power of Now
Pyschological fear is always something that might happen, and not something that is happening now. You are in the here and now, while ur mind is in the future. This creates an anxiety gap.
And if u r identified wit ur mind and have lost touch wit the power and simplicity of the Now, that anxiety gap will be ur constant companion. You can always cope with the present moment, but u cannot cope with something that is only a mind projection - u cannot cope wit the future.
Moreover, as long as u r identified wit ur mind, the ego runs ur life.

Soul - I m havin less tot of future, especially for work. And when d future tot does come, I m present enough to shoo it away.

The power of Now
Because of its phantom nature, and despite elaborate defense mechanism, the ego is very vulnerable, and insecure and it sees itself as constantly under threat. This is by the way, is the case even if the ego is outwardly very confident.
Remember, emotion is the body's reaction to ur mind. Message from ego," Danger, I am under threat". And the emotion generates, " fear".
Power over others is weakness disguised as strength. True power is within and it is available to u now.

Soul - good clarification on ego.
Afternoon
Load my Osho transformation cards, looks similar to last week. Will journal tomorro. M feeling down cos fed up wit d food. Another 3 weeks to go. Amazing, honestly if didn't read Bhagavad Gita yday nite, I don't think I cld have preservere. Jus remember this is d vacuum period. Remember, food doesn't bring me happiness. Remember all d side health benefits m having, most importantly breaking down my limitations.

The power of Now.
Death is a stripping away of all that is not u. The secret of life is to "die before u die" - and find that there is no death.

Soul
Yday Bhagavad Gita said when I feel I can go on renunciating, I shld remember my death n know that nothing remains. So whatever I am renunciating doesn't kill me.
That is not motivating to me.
What is motivating is that this is a one a life time and I hav to do this right, otherwise my effort and also becos I wan to be ready for Samyama,
Actually d main thing is to break free my limitation, my biggest one todate.

The power of Now
The ego's needs are endless. It feels vulnerable and threatened and so lives in a state of fear and want. Once u know how the basic dysfunction operates, there is no need to explore all its countless manifestations, no need to make it into a complex personal problem.
The ego loves that. That's why for so many people, a large part of their sense of self, is intimately connected with their problems. Once this happened, the last thing they wan is to become free of them; that would mean loss of self.

So, once u recognise the root cause of uncosnsciousness as identification wit the mind, which of cos, includes the emotions, u step out of it. You become present.
When u r present, u can allow the mind to be as it is without getting entangles in it.
The mind in itself is not dysfunctional. It is a wonderful tool. Dysfunction sets in when u seek urself in it and mistake for who u are. It then becomes the egoic mind and takes over ur whole life.

How to disidentify wit mind?
Remove time from the mind and it stops - unless u choose to use it.
The compulsion to live almost exclusively through memory and anticipation. Endless preoccupation with past and future and unwillingness to honour and acknowledge the present moment and allow it to be.
The compulsion arise because the past gives u an identity and the future holds the promise of salvation, of fulfillment in whatever form. Both are illusions.


Soul - strange ego is saying this is difficult. What's d point. But another voice is saying my Being is happy n joyful and in no way affected by my veg mode. So, perhaps don't hav to identify wit d mind.
Food has always been d way to happiness but now food is not the only avenue, so need not be afraid that I lost food.

The power of Now
The more u r focused on time - past and future - the more u miss the Now, the most precious thing there is.
Now is the only point that can take u beyond the limited confines of the mind.

Evening
Jus did d korean drama. "Stop touching my woman".
First tot was so romantic. Second tot, why is d woman his? Third tot, isn't this like attachment?

Today, a call frm ex-boss on potential jobs. Fourth one in a row. M fine, don't wan to go back d same path. I admit on d 3rd one, I wavered. But once the pay is d same, I immediately waved. Then tot of whether m right to do partial retirement. Perhaps shld continue wit my current career path n climb further. Then tot of reading economic materials vs people materials, immediately I know I won't go back to the past.

Bhagavad Gita
Superconsciously awakened men - those who have meditated long, deeply and persistently, no matter what their responsibilities or environment - become nonattached to material objects but are not indifferent!
'O Soul, I should not destroy my favourite present sense pleasures, even if they destroy my unknown future spiritual happiness. I cannot live in the hopes of a perhaps nonexistent blessedness and thus lose tangible pleasures that are entertaining me now"

Soul - my tots except I was thinkin of my Wishing Tree which seem non-existent. A tot came, u have part time wish come true. So, I hav to revert only rship is not true. A tot came, but that's becos u not ready.
The main reason for me to preservere is RA.