Ego is clever but not intelligent

Jan 5
Father, jus now ego says u see, quit n now not sure. Then I replied, m quitting so that I can hav 'work' after retirement. For sure d office work will stop at 55 but coaching, website and writing can continue.
Ego is pushing me to do more on new career. Well, let me focus on d veg and budget cos by then it will be samyama.

A new earth
When u r in a negative state, there is something in u that wants the negativity, that perceives it as pleasurable or that believes it will get u what u want. Otherwise, why hang on to negativity and make urself and others miserable.

If in d midst of negativity, u r able to realise "At this moment, I am creating suffering for myself", it will be enough to raise u above the limitations of conditioned ego states and reaction.
You will be free to let go of ur unhappiness the moment u recognise it as unintelligent.

Soul - I recall even at very young age, primary school. Whenever I lost something (which is quite often), I decided I won't go and worry abt it instead let it come cos even then I told myself unless d worry will get me my goods, why bother. Why don't I just continue my day like usual. Why be unhappy unnecessarily.
Quite amazing for such a young age.
Jus chk C's sms on me behaving like INTP - Architect - Yr passion is Finding Knowledge and Competence

A new earth
The ego may be clever, but it is not intelligent.
Cleverness pursues its own little aims.
Intelligence sees the larger whole in which all thing are connected.
Cleverness divides; intelligence includes.

Soul - I wasn't being clever, but was intelligent. I didn't realise there is a difference between clever and intelligent.

A new earth.
Impatience, nervousness, fed up, irritation, discontentment - background unhappiness that is many people's predominant inner state.

You need to be extremely alert n present to be able to detect them. Whenever u do, it is a moment of awakening, of disidentification from the mind.

Thoughts behind d background negativity.
"There is something that needs to happen in my life before I am at peace. And I resent that it hasn't happen yet. Maybe my resentment will make it happen"

"Something happened in the past that should not have happen and I resent that. If that hadn't happened, I would be at peace now.

"Something is happening now that should not be happening and it is preventing me from being at peace now"

Soul - mmm, I will be alert on this background negativity.
I m judging myself. I am the happiest n most at peace period in my life. I am finally liberated part time from workforce. I have revamped the whole admin and yet why I still feel not that happy.
Perhaps is becos m more sensitive and is aware. The foreground negativity is gone but background remain.
I am also surprised that m still not liking PA. I m jus payin her lip service, but she keep on coming. Why can't be symphatetic, loving. Aiyah she got 500k.
Also judging myself for being nervous abt d budget.
I was so happy when I quit, happier still when I got part time, even happier abd d website and coaching and now still abv ave happy but much lower.
Why I can stil yo yo, although yo yo is narrower but I wonder how to go beyond it.

A new earth
How to be at peace? By making peace with the present moment.
Life is the dancer and u r the dance.
To create suffering without recognising it - this is the essence of unconscious living.
Watch out for thoughts that appear to justify or explain this unhappiness but in reality cause it. The moment u become aware of a negative state within urself, it does not mean u have failed. It means that u have succeeded.
Until that awareness happens, there is identification with inner states and such identification is ego.
With awareness, come disidentification from thoughts, emotions and reaction. This is not to be confused from denial.
Before u were thoughts, emotions and reactions; and now u r the awareness, the conscious Presence that witness those states.

Soul - d truth is ego will never be happy. Whatever stage I am, it will clamour for more. Well, from now on, I jus go back to my childhood policy - don't worry, be happy.

Afternoon
Great workin wit Regional CFO n also great idea from me to ask for d money back. I m hopeful, I think can get back. Even if April is ok, cos it wld be bonus and especially good since I be working part time.
Also thks to P tellin me abt her friend, I now got idea on how to calculate my pay. Jus go on unpaid leave mode. I will take 2 days off every week that is 104 days. The 104 days wil be used to offset my annual leave of 20 plus 5. Abt 84 after netting of annual leave days n this will be unpaid leave. At time may hav to work so, can reduce to 74 days.
In general, I wil take Thu n Fri off. Only in exceptional case or holiday, I will take Mon to Wed.


But realistically I will need to work full time on certain period.

Mmm, everything is per I wanted. My mind is a wishing tree. Thanks Sadhguru. Thanks Father.

A new earth
Your entire personal history, which is ultimately no more than a story, a bundle of thoughts and emotions, becomes of secondary importance and no longer occupies the forefront of ur consciousness.
It no longer from the basis of ur identity.
You are the light of Presence, the awareness that is prior to and deeper than any thoughts and emotion.

Soul - that be d ultimate. The only thin I can say is that I don't take myself as seriously as before.

A new earth
The stronger the ego in u, the more likely it is that in ur perception, other people are the main source of problems in ur life.
It is also more than likely that you will make life difficult for others. But of course, u won't be able to see that. It is always others who seem to be doing to u.

The more unconscious individual, groups or nations are, the more likely it is that egoic pathology will assume the form of physical violence. Violence is a primitive but widespread way in which the ego attempts to assert itself, to prove itself right and another wrong.

Soul - m concerned abt my nephew. I hav a feeling that he may be a new soul or lack of emotional control. Smart but short fused n even volatile. But aunt said even d little cousins in home town also hav it.

A new earth
Zen - Don't seek the truth. Jus cease to cherish opinions.
Let go of identification wit ur mind. Who u are beyond the mind then emerges by itself.

Those people who work without their ego are extraordinarily succesful at what they do. Anybody who is one with what he or she does is building new earth
In order to attract success, u need to welcome it wherebver u see it.