Finally got my own Rudraksh

Mar 22 eve

Had a good time with family. Feeling contented. Today writing freed me. Alas now accepting my aloneness path.
Just now mom said worried about me living alone. I reminded her I stayed in Europe on my own for a few months and I always travel on business trip alone. I travel to India alone. I m comfortable sleeping and eating alone. Guess now inner will match outer.

Just put ghee on the Rudraksh. Took me nearly 6 years before I accepted Rudraksh. Just want to protect my lovely energy space created from sadhana.

Suddenly tot of Y. I was direct in my feedback to her. She needs to know how we see her. No point hiding. Others not telling her. In her case, there are personal feeling and hence it took me awhile to express my professional feedback.

Yoga the science of living by Osho
Decide, whatsoever ur decision. Don't go on remaining indecisive. If u are indecisive, u will always be doing something contradictory. U will be moving in both ways together, simultaneously - because indecisive, also, u have to live. 50 percent u will be going towards the North, 50 percent you will be going towards the south. Then there is misery, anguish, suffering.

Soul
Yes, my Integration card this week. Alas my path is aloneness. I alone give myself what I need. While I m not happy per se but I have accepted my aloneness and in that acceptance I felt freed. No more waiting for anyone before I live the life I want. 

Yoga the science of living by Osho
Decision is needed. U have to decide each moment. Each moment lost without decision creates fragmentariness in u. Each moment decided, by and by, u become collected, one piece, u become together. A moment comes, u become integrated. Decision is not really the thing: decisiveness. Through decisions u become decisive.