Mar 17 eve
Just done Sannidhi pooja cause missed it yesterday.
During the guru song I was lost in tots. During Brahmananda, tears flows non stop. I was crying for help. Fear of future. Truly need help in my Uranus period.
Wish I can go to ashram to recharge but I can't cos too busy at work. Tears fall again and then a tot came. Go BSP volunteering and get charged.
Did Devi chant. Just sat and crying profusely. Chant 3 cycles effortlessly. Must be Devi energy. Crying while chanting. I cried cos now that Z and wife are meant to be; does that mean I m now truly alone; that I m meant to be alone.
Suddenly in midst of my tears, a tot came. I m here with u. I m here with myself. I m not alone.
Signing up for BSP volunteer. Tot came in during pooja. Earlier not planing to go as volunteering not for me. Also didn't want to go because my friends joining. Didn't want to go because of fear of losing friendship among Isha. So no fear at all. Not afraid of losing any validation.
Now going for myself. Alas understand what P said about volunteering is for self. Volunteering for the right reason.
I m surely learning now. I am going for the energy, not for volunteering per se..
Now going to get energy surge. Told P, she welcome me. Now I m straight with her. In general I don't volunteer but I do help in promotion on my own term and time.
An ex-colleague whom I intro Isha msg me that he now following Sadhguru on FB and he love it. He asked if there are any books. I told him to go to Isha hata yoga studio. Also told him of Sannidhi pooja. He welcome the suggestion.
So I shared with the hata yoga studio. Then many ideas came for Isha hata. Told them to promote Studio as initial Isha center, start with the Sannidi.
I m happy promoting Isha, sharing my journey.
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