Misery of the mind - more and more

Mar 15 eve

Went for massage as left shoulder is feeling so stiff. It has been nearly 6 months since I do shoulder stand. Shoulder stand minimised stiffness. Massage was painful. The pain was mostly on the shoulders, arms and back. Masseurs said much win and blocked lymph nodes. She said due to stress. This week much stress with the negotiations on the agreement for the purchase of condo  then the scary tot of going back to former company and drama at office. The fear of losing financial security compounded with new capital commitment.
My legs are okay. But after two hours I couldn't take it. I asked her to just end it as my pain threshold has been reached.

After massage came back watch romantic movie on TV. Lovely story. Try to sleep but couldn't cos body is aching. Feeling heaty. Decided to wake up to do Sannidhi pooja instead.

Did evening pooja but tots keep on running. Tots of the past of Z. Guess the romantic movie reminds me of what I tot I missed. I just focus back on the Sannidhi song. Got myself back.  This week only did my Wednesday pooja. Couldn't do Mon and Friday due to work load.

Now in my room. With Sannidhi.

Yoga the science of living by Osho
The difference between the experiencer and the experience always remains- the gap and that gap goes on saying, 'Yes, something is happening but not enough. More is needed.'

That is the misery of the human mind. That's why the mind goes on asking for more and more. There are many more peaks to be attained. And this will remain so because something in the very nature of the experience that the experience can never be total.
Then what can be total? What can be fulfilling? Remain a witness; don't be lost in the experience. Don't be lost. Just Remain alert. Know that this is a passing mood; it will past. Good or bad, beautiful or ugly, happy or unhappy- a cloud passing by; u remain silent, watching it. Don't get identified with it.
Otherwise love will not fulfill, neither meditation, because, in fact, what is meditation? Meditation is not an experience; it is to become aware of the witness. Just look. Just watch, and remain centered in the watcher and then anything is total. Otherwise nothing is total. Then everything is fulfilling; otherwise nothing is fulfilling.

Just sipping tea is such a delight, u cannot think, u cannot imagine, that more is possible. Then each moment become a diamond unto itself and each moment becomes a flowering- but u remain alert. U are not lost on the experience; u don't get identified with it.

Soul
Hence Samyama
When I m aware of my breathe. Not identified with it. I feel so fulfilled.