Learning to take care of myself in my aloneness

Mar 19
Woke up before 3 am cos too cold. Slept back and wake up upon alarm at 3.40 am

Did Bhuta Shuddi followed by cat stretch. Angamardhana was good but did take breaks, lost in tots. Hero posture prop now shifted toward the back. Singing and dancing in hero posture followed by silence.
Did preparatory for Surya Kriya. Foot alignment not good but flexibility good. Forehead nearly touching my knees.
The Dhyna session. I cried, cried for my unknown partner. Cried cos I am alone. I let myself cry. This need for a partner could be from past life. So just give myself space to mourn for the partner that I don't have.

A tot came; I am here. U are not alone. That's me comforting my inner child. I can give myself what I want.
My path is to be alone until I m living in my own values. Then my rightful partner will come. Don't want to pressure myself to meet him in this lifetime. Maybe next.
This lifetime my commitment is to meet myself. To be happy on my own. That's my wish to Akash.

Breathing was lovely.

Shakti was good. Able to do slow Kapala Bhakti. Focused on first and second cycle but lost but in third cycle. Finish with dancing and singing.

Shambavi was good. But no time to sit for silence. I took much time during the Dhyna time.

Today changed alarm from 3.40 am to 3.37 am so I can have more  time for silence after Shambavi.

Read this from facebook and it about acknowledging my need.
Matt Licata
https://www.facebook.com/mattlicataphd/posts/1412077785766104:0
Learning to truly take care of oneself as the most important prerequisite for a healthy intimate relationship...Learn how to practice radical self-care, self-kindness, and self-compassion. For to the degree that you are able to take responsibility for your own vulnerabilities and core emotional wounding, it is to this degree that you will release your partner from this burden, which is not his or hers to carry.