North Node in Taurus - building their own values instead of destroying others

May 19
Good is had the pre-sleep time with Shrine. Suddenly tot of singing guru pooja and then sat about half an hour. By the time I was done about 11.30 pm and so I adjust the alarm clock to 4.35 am instead.
Skip angarmadhana. Did one cycle of Yoga Namaskar and Surya kriya and followed by breathing. Breathing was fine. Shakti was okay and Shambavi too. Overall better than what I expected.
As I saw my legs I saw them much smaller than I remember. Looks like its a total body reduction.
During the practices had some tots of volunteering. Rather reminiscing the loss of validation.  I knew letting go was the right thing. The past is over.
Besides office revamping.
Tot of the new friends I met, I like them. Wish we could get together more. Was surprised that some were interested in spirituality. I think these are the ones who have achieved materials and know there is still more.

Me, wondering how I am. But I know that volunteering not for me. I enjoyed myself on this trip.

North node in Taurus
Self sabotage
Reaching goals required taking tried and true, systematic steps for getting there.
Their goal is important to them and they pledged to it wholeheartedly. But they also feel unworthy and subsconciously put road blocks. They can either limit themselves or going out too far on a limb without a safety net.

Soul
Guess this is without boundaries issue.
When I was with Z, that's on a limb. But no regrets.
When I took a chance on Y knowing we can't be. As G said its near to impossible.

North Node in Taurus
These folks sometimes want to be "more" than they are (they like to impress people) and this can lead to problems. They are learning they are okay just as they are. The self sabotage comes from wanting to move too fast or to be "bigger" than they are at the moment. They need to stay with themselves, grounded in their bodies.

Soul
True

North node in Taurus
Making judgement.
These folks are learning to stop destroying what others have built and instead focus on building what is important and valuable to themselves.
As they remain consistently true to their own values, they become less judgemental about others who have different values.
They also are highly judgemental of themselves and undermine their self worth. They often compare themselves to other people and feel jealous of what others have - this makes their lives complicated and much less happy!
For any of us, if what we are doing in our lives is making us happy, then we are on track. But the moment we compare ourselves, we lose.

Soul
True. I was invalidation others because I couldn't validate myself. Once I m okay with my values and pursue them, others different values no longer affect me.

Mmm, a tot come. Once I can love myself ; whether others have love or not no longer affects me.

Once I know sadhanas is my values I no longer affected by my lack of volunteering or others abundance in volunteering. Just as they are not envious of my sadhanas, I too need not be envious of their volunteering. I need not find out their purpose for volunteering not judge them. I just need to follow my sadhana. Ultimately the purpose is to be happy. Sadhanas makes me happy and volunteering makes them happy.
Amen.