I was lost and now I am found

Father, these 3 days, my meditation has been silence. There was no laughter, there was no tots, I just felt nothing but it must be good cos I didn't want to wake up. Today, another extra 4 min I stayed in d silent session.


Soul - watching d korean drama, Goodbye. When u have, u afraid of losing, when u don't have, u afraid of not having - both also feeling of lack. If u r complete and whole, u r not afraid of both not having and having, cos u not dependent on external. Again, the msg, focus n accepting yourself, feeling whole and complete, then the external is irrelevant.
Mmm, you are then not affected by the external; i.e. you are not 'touched' by the external.

Ask and it is given
Your work is to direct your tots, and that in doing so, your life would unfold.
You are an extension of Source Energy and that the basis of that which you are good.
You also knew that there would be not be an immediate manifestation of any tot, so that you would have ample opportunity to mold, evaluate, decide and enjoy the Creative Process.
You always hold the power and control of your own life experience. The only reason that you could ever experience something other than what you desire is because you are giving the majority of your attention to something other than what u desire.

Soul - the power over my life. When I first start with Carl Jung, he gave me the knowledge that its our unconscious that molds our life and if we don't like our life, we must unravel of our unconsciousness to know what is the source.
I was an internal control freak and couldn't accept that something unknown is controlling me and I want to take back the power over my life, especially since I am not too happy with it.
With ACIM I learned how to allow the door of unconsciousness to open and to heal the source. I learn this; anger, hurt, guilt, fear, love. But the feeling is not open, what I did was to control my emotion n tot and hence action. Hence ACIM is a mind control or re-direction/healing of mind to clear out the ego.

Now with meditation, I am able to allow my feelings, I surrendered during meditation and recently this 2 weeks, I am able to allow my feelings to come up even when I am awake. It is because of fear, I can't allow the feeling to come up. Finally, I can.

I finally learn abt ACCEPTANCE of myself, is acceptance of others and of the world - once I accept myself internally, there is no projection of non-acceptance to the world/external. I also need not seek acceptance from the world.

Also, I finally not afraid to ask for what I want.

A few days back, mom was considerate to let me have my room to myself. Yday, even my nephew let me have the room to myself. Its ironic, at first I was pondering shifting out so I can hav privacy to do meditation. And then I accepted that for now, jus bear with it and even if I can't do meditation everyday, is ok. Just when I accepted that as long as I stay in d house, I can't have privacy every moment, here family giving me privacy, something that is unheard of in my family. Amen. (Is this my tot of havin privacy unfolding into reality?).

Ask and it is Given
You clearly understand all of the factors involved in transporting urself to the current moment/life, but you have not understood the factors involved in transporting yourself fron current life to the life that u desire.

Once u understand the clarity that your emotion provide, you will never again not know what you are doing with your current tot.
You will always be aware of whether you are, in this moment, moving toward or away from your intended goal or desire.
Your awareness of the way you feel will give you the clarity you have been seeking - you will never be lost in the desert again.
Once you have the knowledge that you are moving in the direction of your desires, you may begin to relax a bit and enjoy the fantastic journey.

Soul - firstly I never tot of my desire, so I have never ask. Secondly, I don't have the thermometer cos my feelings is closed as I am too much in mind.

So, meditation gave me back my feeling.
Ask and is given give me back my desire.
Carl Jung gave me back my spiritual path.
Way of Heart give me back the rememberance of my power of creation.
Father, thank you so much. I am found. Amen.

Just checked to my thundercard for the day - amazing, to the point
The Basic Meaning of the Nine of Spades
The Nine of Spades can be a card of loss and disappointment. However, the true nature of the card reveals that its presence in your life for any period of time does not have to be a disaster.
In actuality, the Nine of Spades represents making a completion of some importance. Whether this is the end of a certain occupation, way of life, or way of being with your health and body will depend upon the position of the card and the circumstances in your life at the time.
But rest assured that some important aspect of your life is coming to an end when this potent card shows up.
This is also one of the death cards and indeed, when this card shows up there will be a death in your life of some kind. We go through many mini-deaths in the course of our lifetime and just like the snake shedding its skin, arrive at a new and better place each time we do so.
Therefore the Nine of Spades is not a card to be feared but instead a card to be welcomed. It always has the ability to clear away all the unwanted and useless debris in our life and put us back on a new course where we are much more enlivened and satisfied.

Father, thank you. I am so blessed. Thanks for guiding me back to You. Amen