Why can't I stop wanting?

Soul - Father, I am feeling lethargic. I am afraid to want anything. I am not sure where I am and where I want to go.

Father, I have achieved a lot, I have come far. But why I cannot sustain the feeling of happiness. Why I always wants more.
I should be happy that this time, the Budget, I was calm in handling it.
Why I cannot remember I have attracted and grown a good team.
I have found Sadhguru and even started on cd Way of Heart.
Ego said u know that u already good in handling and growing teams, nothing new. True, but this time, the team was so entrenched and I tot there was no way for me to transform them. But I did within 1 year. So, I shouldn’t be downplaying my success. I still have room to go, but what I have is great.
Ego said u not good enough regionally. Not to sure abt that, but in d end I just need an opening. Of cos, part of me not so keen due to the difference hours. But saying that I still wan to try Regional.
I want to prove to myself. Tot of Roger Federer, he said he can now play in peace, knowing he has win all 4 grand slam.
Previously I judged myself for not having MNC exposure and I have and now I want Regional exposure. But part of me afraid to want cos afraid cannot get. Don't want to get my hope. Don't want to be disappointed. Also part of me is afraid that I am desiring from ego side, always wanting more and more.
Father, I am confused. The only thing sure is my path to You, which I have now finally acknowledged.

Father, now I realised why I am feeling lethargic. There is a fight within. My ego is asking me to go and go and I don't want to grow and grow. So the best is to stay put. I guess I am using my energy to control my ego.

Ask and it is given
Follow ur bliss. And in the steady reaching for bliss, you must surely align with your Energy of ur Source. And in that constant alignment, your Well-Being is certain.

You have the power to observe as they are or to imagine them as you want them to be - whichever option u choose, observing or imagining - both, is equally powerful.

Thoughts
Vibration
Circumstances
Event.

You CANNOT cease your constant list of preferences, so your life experience helps you to determine, at both conscious and unconscious levels, what you prefer and how life, from your personal and important perspective, could now be better.

When u have lived an experiemce that helps u to understand, in an exaggerated way, the very thing you do not want, you also understood, in an exaggerated way , what you do want

Soul - constantly cease to want. So tiring. Why not stop?
A tot came - why not die?

When u desire something u do not believe is possible, u r not in alignement.

Regional - while I like the glamour, travel, exposure, overview, people, I don't like the hours. Also don't think can get cos not sure if anyone will give me a chance. So just stop my desire.

Good and understanding boss - at first harbouring for change of boss with new job. But no news for regional position and later heard news that current boss is here to stay for 3 years. So I just dropped my desire.

Father, I am afraid to desire. I am afraid to want. I don't want to be disappointed.
Why can't I stop want. By having no wants, I will be peaceful.

Ask and it is given
All your desires, wants or preferences emanate from you naturally and constantly, for you stand at the Leading Edge of a Universe that makes that so.
So, you cannot hold your desires back; the eternal nature of this Universe insist that your desires come forth.

Variety causes contemplation
Contemplation produces preference
Preference is asking
Asking is always answered.

Soul - I cannot stop it, then how to achieve my peace. I also don't how to create what I desire. Since I don't know to get, the strategy is not to have desires.
Can't I just be a Queen in a tiny kingdom.
But I cannot stop it. I judge myself and looks like is natural to desires.

Ask and it is given.
Regarding your creation of your own life experience, there really is only one important question for u to ask.

How can I bring myself into vibrational alignment witht the desires that my experiences has produced.
The answer;
1. Pay attention to the way you feel
2. Remember u have the power to change how u feel
3. Choose tot that can lead u to good feeling
4. Focus on the tot
5. Law of Attraction will bring u more tots.
6. Vibrations is set
7. Circumstances and events will come.

Soul - Yea, my role is not to ask how to create. My role is just to bring my vibration into alignment. That I can do.

Just had a tot, perhaps that is why I am resistant towards Buddhism - renunciation cos unconsciously I am trying my best to renunciate my desires.
Hence I resist.
Father, all these I read but it never hit me like this. Yea, Way of Heart - this year to clarify all the clues that u already know
Christianity - doing good. I have been doing that unconsciously in my tot.

Father, so much issues n burden. I not only stop creating but miscreated also.
The positive thing is my tot. Since I have so strong will power to stop desire and to control emotion and mind, I can use it to stabilize my Source too!