Mind - Judging (Inner Parent and Inner Child)

Jan 3

Today practice was fine. Asanas was quite effortless except plough back not so great. Shakti was fine. I was interrupted by worrying tots of the brush container and height of glass panel during Shambavi. It turns out that the worrying tot was correct on brush container but not correct on the glass panel.

I realised the mind keep on rehashing old tots, generally creating doubts and uncertainty. I then tell my mind that its small matter.

On my bathroom and bedroom, it will be done by end of this week, I hope.

Self-parenting - John K. Pollard (1987)
Inner conversations also occur with more intensity during more stressful life situations.
Your inner conversations are the key to ur true tots and feelings. Since u must know what u want in order to get it, ur inner conversations will tell u, in the most direct way possible, exactly what u r thinking and feeling so that u can get exactly what.
Studying ur inner conversations can also revealed the concealed barriers to ur personal happiness. Every emotional/mental problem u have in life takes place initially as a conflict within ur Inner conversations.

Soul
I don't recall this; "Since u must know what u want in order to get it"
I admit when it come to Z, whenever he moves one step closer, I close off a bit or tend to play it down eventhough I am happy. Why? Do I really want him or not? Or it is because I want to lower down expectation so I won't get hurt. Yea, part of me don't want to join to anyone. At times, I am just comfortable having a distant rship, which is what we r having. He is near me but our frequency of meet up is similar as if he is outstation.

A tot came, below are my response:
1. Don't need a partner
2. Want a partner
3. Don't want a partner.
4. Want a true partner.

For me, it is difficult to open my connecting door. I am afraid. Actually, I have not been hurt before but somehow fear crept in on commitment.
For Z, he has been hurt a few times before. When he is in, he goes all the way. For me, even when I am in, I hold back. It took us one year, before we actually connected physically as I can't let him in.

Self-parenting
Inner parent (rational mind / thinking)- the attitudes and opinions u absorbed from ur parents.
It has its mental opinion, intellectual advice and rational reasoning.

Inner child (emotional heart / feeling)- the attitudes and opinions u formed about ur parents and the world around u when u were young. It has its emotional feeling, irrational reactions and subjective responses.

Both Selves have needs they feel are important and that they are met. The decisions u make and the circumstances in ur life result from the combined opions of both inner parent and inner child.

Soul
The parent in me said I don't need a partner but the child in me wants one.

Self-parenting
The outer-conflict u have had with "significant others" such as ur parents, grandparents, or other role models are now being repeated inside ur mind as Inner Conflicts. They have become internalised versions of ur actual outer parent/outer child conflicts which remain unresolved.

Soul
I seldom encounter dilemma except when I am in rship.

Self-parenting
Ur inner parent has a major position of influence over ur inner child and is likely to be the voice that u hear the loudest and the longest in ur inner conversation.
If ur inner parent does not nurture ur inner child, ur joy and enthusiasm for life will be missing. This play havoc with the ability of both inner selves to be happy.
U will realise that u r still being treated and guided as if by ur parents. Only now u r doing it to urself, all by urself, within ur inner conversations.

Soul
This week Osho - Integration, between logical and illogical

This is so reflective of the book I picked up today on Self-parenting. Father, again U delivered. Amen.

What is needed for resolution - conditioning
Father, I got this card last week. Now again. I guess I didn't drop it then.