Settling down with Z (30)

Dec 17

Father, today I saw Sl and it is true that she has finally let go of her boss. She said if she had known that she be so happy, she would have let go long time ago. I said perhaps it wasn't time then. I said her yoga helps her but she replied my advice also played a key role.

I shared with her about renovating my place. She said I must be feeling more secure now. She was the first person who saw my insecurity with money. Yea, I am definitely more secure now.

Now updating my blog and read on Nov 3, I was opening up to change.

Internal influence - Understanding
Just drop clinging to this cage, move out of the cage and the whole sky is yours. Open ur wings and fly across the sun like an eagle.
In the inner sky, in the inner world, freedom is the highest value - everything else is secondary, even blissfulness, ecstasy. There are thousands of flowers, uncountable, but they all become possible in the climate of freedom.
It can makes us feel a little shaky at first. It's fine and natural to be shaky, but don't let it overshadow the opportunity to experience the lightheartedness and adventure on offer, right there alongside the shakiness.
Move with the sweetness and gentleness of this time. Feel the fluttering within. Spread ur wings and be free.

Soul
Guess I am just feeling the shakiness of new change.

On Z, this morning when I meditate, a tot came in on why Z never consider me as a candidate for his wife. Then I realised that he did consider me since the first date and subsequently but I brushed it off every time that I don't want children. So, it was me. Actually when I found out he has good children karma I wanted him to have a child and always a daughter came to mind. I also need not worry about responsibility as Z would take care of her.

Father, I accused Z of wanting our rship to maintain superficial, I too did the same whenever he tries to probe. I just crawl in my shell and pretend I didn't want us to go deeper but infact I do. Me thinking of having a daughter with him need to be communicated. Just like E asked me many times on the job offer, Z has asked me many times of being his candidates.
I will share that I am open to one child.

7thunder cards
Ruling Card Pluto is Nine of Diamond and Result Card is Ten of Diamond.

When I spend huge money on renovation, somehow I dissolve my karma on money and it immediately open to new incoming channel of money.

Such irony, I changed my BB messenger " When I choose energising change, I win". And I am executing it now.

Z wants to be loved and in order to reach that goal, he must learn to go with the flow, learn to receive love naturally.

For me, I wanted a committed partner and to merge our energy and in order to reach that goal, I must learn to see what I truly value and what I am as an individual and then I will attracts the right guy. I used to think the basic thing is financial. But now with Z, I found that it is more important for me that he is a good man.

(Jan 4 - I shared with him that I love him for the goodness in him)