Admitting that I still love Y

Mar 10
Feels good after yesterday Sathsang. For the first time didn't feel the need to shower. Things were not in place and turnout was low but I was not affected. Must be due to me not being the guide and me just being a meditator.
The special meditation on cleansing of misery was truly powerful. I was crying loads and laughing too. When Sadhguru said picture of desolate, tot of me failing in the few romantic relationships that I have. Tot of Y, my love for him. Tot how sad it is for me to be alone with my unreciprocated love.
After the meditation, misery is gone.

Woke up 4.30 am instead. Did Bhoota Shuddi and sang guru pooja. Followed with 3 cycles of yoga Namaskar, which is getting easier. Able to straightened my held up hands much longer.
Did one cycle of Surya kriya, feet alignment was very good.
Breathing was good. Wish I could do longer.
Shakti was okay. Got distracted by tots of office and Isha during Kapala Bhakti. Also  tot if I can let teacher correct my Kapala Bhakti. Towards the end, head mopping the floor.
Still no phelgm which is good.
Shambavi was good. Towards the end just contented silence. Songs start to come in mind but I didn't follow it as I prefer the silence.

Mmm, somehow knowing I love Y, feels bit settled. A tot came, instead of thinking its suffering that my love is unreciprocated; perhaps can think that I m give opportunity to practice unconditional love. Instead of thinking it is suffering, perhaps its growth.

Per face book
Fortunate are those who are able to love unconditionally, for that is what makes one complete.

Soul
Amen. What I know is that I m ready for Sharing of love. I have enough of bad experience and yet I persevere. Nothing fazed me.

Mar 10 eve
Went in deep into breathing followed by effortless Samyama. Sojourn was deep.

From Facebook
Be strong enough to let go and patient enough to wait for what u deserve.

Soul
Reading this I feel at ease.