Mahashivarathri - amazing webstream experience

Feb 28
What a night...yesterday was my best Maha ever.
I was knocked out.
Head shaking furiously and body moving like it never did before.
There was a part whereby the head was turning in slow motion to right and left...I see it happening but unable to control it.
I was also in total stillness for quite a long while. It has never happen for such a long period.
I know it was still but I couldn't move my body.
K asked me whether I was in samadhi as i was sitting in stillness for a long while.
Time passed very quickly...without realisng, its was time for Shambo and later Aum Namah Shivaya meditation..and already 3 plus am.
I only took one break at 3 am plus after dinner...never happen before..
From 10.30 pm to 3 plus am, just sitting there.

Yesterday card was Jupiter, Seven of Diamonds...
Saw Z and wife..no more hurt..just wondering when is my turn.
Truly over...alas now just need to keep faith on myself
But while waiting, just savouring my aloneness.

Many people whom I haven't met for the past six months said I lost a lot of weight. Guess thats great..I am back to my natural size.


North node in Taurus
In past lives, they become dependent on soul mate relationship to provide the nurturing to feel renewed and satisfied. In this lifetime, whenever they depend on others to fill these needs, they feel let down. It's set up this way because their lesson is to become independent in meeting their own needs.
Their lesson in this lifetime is to focus less on bonding and more on building their values - then they attract the right mate.
In past lives, these folks are used to giving everything and having the other person reciprocate. But in this incarnation, much to their surprise, it's not in their charts for others to take care of them in the same co-dependent way. This is the universe way of helping them break abusive co- dependency and learn to be more self-contained.

When they no longer need a person to make them feel whole, only then will they attract the right life partner.

Soul
Good reminder on why I am still alone.
Like I told G, best to work out the karma in a few relationships rather than to one long karmic marriage.
When I do get married, it will be blessing marriage, not a karmic one.