Dessert also doesn't make me happy

Mar 8 eve

Been on sugar high this week over the new French bakery. Ate non stop today. I m like getting the max dessert. I don't quite like the after effects. The body is truly dull and bloated. Today I felt like I truly had enough of dessert.

A tot occurred to me, its like the max meat a couple of months prior to me dropping meat. Mmmmm, let's see.
I started by saying if I lost meat, I be enlightened. I lost meat but not enlightened.
Then I said if I lost coffee I be enlightened. But I lost coffee, now on decaf and not enlightened. But I have turned into a devotee with my shrine.

Bhoota Suddhi seems to have an effect on me. Now I said if I lost dessert I am enlightened; mmm.

Today I had the best cookie cake, the best walnut tart and yet I feel nothing. Used to think dessert makes me happy but it doesn't.
Not sure if this week desserts rush is due to me avoiding the sadness over Y. Truly not sure.
While I miss him and wish for a miracle that we be together. I am not affected much by his non response. Guess him finally coming back to town in one week just kill the hope of the miracle.
I can only have faith on Linga that she get me the husband that's meant for me. Mentally and spiritually compatible.

Soul
Looked at my Pluto Three of Hearts and Result Ace of Hearts - something or someone that brings me joy.
Well, at the very least I have my shrine that brings me love wherever I sat there.
Today feeling bit uncertain of my wish. Perhaps that's why eating dessert at full speed till getting bit put off now.
Just have to stay strong and have faith in Linga