Letting go of others, so can accept others letting go of me

Jul 11 aft 1
No one responded to my call of sympathy.
The old me would feel sad. But the new me is not as sad. Just as I decided to give myself space for not responding; the same I got to let other not respond to me.
Just as I let go of SL and now L, the same as Z and Y let go of me.

Father, learning Seven of Hearts. First thing is to be authentic. To responds as who we truly want to inside. Not to be who we think  we should be out of loss of validation.

Evening
After so many hours still no response.
Mmm perhaps they think got to do with the exit from the Sathsang guide group. But that one I deleted yesterday cos I m no longer the guide. 
Mmmm, bit off now that no one respond. 
Well, I got to live by myself. If they disagree so be it.
My first step was of course to feel like a victim and reject them. That's my old way.  Anyway, maybe they too don't know how to comfort me.
Actually not so much hurt by L but more hurt by the lack of response.
Their silence is telling.
Well, may be good. This episode before Kailash.


Aft

This week Osho tarot card

1. The Issue
Breakthrough
Without facing this danger, nobody has ever become integrated, nobody has ever become an individual.
Meditation is the method which help u to go through the chaos, through the dark night of the soul, balanced, disciplined, alert.
The dawn is not far away but before you can reach the dawn, the dark night has to be passed through.
All of us occasionally reach a point when "enough is enough". At such times, it seems we must do something, anything, even if it later turns out to be a mistake, to throw off the burdens and restrictions that are limiting us. If we don't, they threaten to suffocate and cripple our very life energy.
If u are now are feeling that "enough is enough", allow urself to take the risk of shattering the old patterns and limitations that have kept ur energy from flowing. In doing so, u will be amazed at the vitality and empowerment this Breakthrough can bring to ur life.

Soul
When I saw this card I wonder what could it be. I was expecting a nice week and looking forward to guru Purnima.
I tot the meet up with E was it. I even tot the subsequent call to Z was it. Looks like it not so.
Alas, The breakthrough over L. Amen.

3. Internal influence that u are aware of
Celebration
Life is a moment to celebrate, to enjoy.
Make it fun, a celebration, and then u will enter the temple. The temple not for the long-faced, it has never been for them.
Don't be too wise. Always remember to stop. A little foolishness and a little wisdom is good and the right combination makes u a Buddha.
True celebration arises from a joy that is first experienced deep within and spills over into an overflow of song, dance and laugher.

Soul
Mmm