Facing my karma in relationship (14)

Jan 23 Aft

Father, no reply from Z after half day. At first I start to think I don't care if he doesn't reply. Then second tot is that's no true and its my defense mechanism operating cos I took it as personal rejection.
So, I say that I want to have his reply but if he doesn't I am fine too. Then an alternative tot came, if he wanted to be my man, that's msg basically put him as a friend and I don't think he want that. Aiyah, compulsive tot. Its enough.

I had a great time at the wet market today. Wet market is my hobby. I like it becos the people are real, no "mask" or "clothes" to hide and also it has my food whereby I too can be myself. I found myself grinning throughout the trip. When I went a crowd and sense a drop in energy, I automatically goes for breathe watching to keep me grounded.

7thunder Card - Queen of Spades
Queens have their greatest power in the feminine, receptive mode. To truly receive, we must attain that state of mind in which we allow everything to come to us without hesitation.
Once we does that, we allow ourselves to experience more joy and success.

Today card - Eight of Heart
Card of considerable emotional power, charm and personal magnetism.
It is an indicator of having healing energy, a 'spiritual force' gathering in u, a force u can use to better ur life in many ways.
It can bring u more social fun, better intimate relationships or more success in ur business.

Soul
So apt, I have finally let go of my Control cast and let Mars come out. And when it is out, I operate less from projection of hidden defense mechanism that can self-sabotage me. I am alive and I am open to life.

Finally he replied saying he got back late and just woke up. I replied, "happy hunting".
For now, I will be myself.