My final self closure on Z

Jul 20 eve 1
Osho - Krishna
It is easy to speak in a state of ignorance. When one does not know the truth he has no sense of responsibility for what he says; he can say anything he likes. There is no difficulty in speaking about something we don't know, because we are not afraid of being wrong. But when one comes to truth, he becomes speechless, because truth cannot be said.

Soul
Exactly. I can see M saying things which has not been self experienced. That's why I was worried and I shy away cos don't want to be the source.
It also like Y saying so much on Sadhguru in only a few months. Whereas I was quiet on him cos I truly know how powerful he is. Talking about him only serves to increase his power in my life and hence I abstain from talking nor watching his video.

But after seeing the mirror of myself in M; I start to do my own sharing.

Osho
It is really difficult to teach a friend, to be his teacher. It is difficult even to be an advisor to an intimate friend. If u try he will say, "Shut up, don't show ur wisdom".

Soul
Guess this is what happen to S and M too.

Osho - Krishna
One comes to God only when one attains to one's own fullest flowering, not otherwise.

Soul
Amen.

Now reading the part on
Gautama told Ananda that as far as he is concerned, he has transcended all associations and attachments - no one is a wife or a son to him. But for Yashodara, Gautama is still her husband and it is not in his hands to undo it.
Gautama meeting his wife, Yashodhara after twelve years of absence. Yashodhara burst out crying; all the pent up anger, pain and agony she has silently suffered for twelve years comes out in torrent. Her outburst is quite justifiable.
Buddha listens to her very silently. When she quiets and wipe away her tears, Buddha says to her very gently, "Yashodhara, look at me attentively. I am not the same person who left u twelve years back. I don't come back to u as ur husband, the husband is no more. I am altogether different. U talked so long to the departed one; now u can talk to me.

Soul
When I read this; it reminded me of my story with Z. I am the Yashodara that holds on for nothing whereas Z is the Gautama that has already detached. Everything is over already for Z. Thats why he can send me his wedding invitation card in a blink of an eye, without considering my feeling.  It was only me who hold on.

I recalled i exploded into anger when Z sends me his wedding card. I told him off and said friendship is over.
After one week, my anger died down and I then send him a congratulatory message as nothing else I can do except to have a good ending.

Yea, this story reaffirm that Z too is no more the lover I know. He is now someone husband.
 It's true I still love him but the pain has been released. Now just remnant of memories as mind is used to the Past. I m also not the gal he left six months back.

Father, thank you so much. Firstly you sent G to tell me that men can't do closure and so Z is no exeption. Secondly you led me to ashram during Z's wedding. And now you led me to this story. Finally a sense of appreciation descended on me. Also, I don't judge myself too much. Yashodhara waited for 12 years and mine only for half year.
Amen. Looks like the Comparison card is really true. I should be thankful that Z got married so fast. Like G said Z's marriage is the final closure.

Osho - Krishna
If we fully unfold and understand Krishna's life, which is vast and multidimensional, it will enable us to unfold our own life and know it. U will never understand Krishna if u imitate him. Infact the reason we imitate someone is that we don't want to take the trouble of understanding ourselves. It is convenient to live in somebody else's shadow and imitate him; it is a way to escape the arduous task of understanding ourselves. Understanding begins when someone ceases to imitate others, to be like others, when he wants to know directly who he is and what he can be.

Soul
Amen. This truly amplify my Osho tarot - Comparison card today.
Instead of harping I lost a mate, perhaps I will flower only if without mate. And Instead of feeling like a victim in suffering, perhaps it is to help me up stay focus on my path to flower. Amen.