Win win situation for me to let go of Z

Jun 29
Had a good sleep. I switched on Brahmananda cd.

My first tot when I woke up was that I want a win win outcome. He have his children and I have my partner that I need.

Did my one cycle of Surya kriya. A quick breathing followed by a good Shakti and Shambavi. Peaceful silence thereafter. Wish I could sit longer but got to go for swim.

Went my swim, still doing breast stroke. Since I m late, there were many people. For the first lap, I had to stop two times. But it was fine thereafter  I was singing in the pool. My joy is within.
Towards the end, mind says I m tired. But I ignored it and said body to decide. I was surprised that body wants to swim. So I swam breast stroke style.

Father, yes. A win win situation is best.

Surprisingly I got Jack of Diamonds card in Uranus today. That's Z card. Anyway, me now cultivating win win situation. He may not be with me but I wish him well. I want to use my energy creating what I want instead.
Father, as I was walking yesterday. I reaffirmed the values for my husband; rich, smart, spiritual and loving cos thats me too.

Osho card today
Comparison
Nobody is higher and nobody is lower. Nobody is superior and nobody inferior. Everybody is incomparably unique.
We human tends to compare and find this habit very hard to break.
Lets face it, there is always going to be somebody who is more beautiful, more talented, more intelligent or apparently happier than u are. And conversely there will always be those who are less than u in all these areas.
The way to find out who u are, is not by comparing yourself with others, but by looking to see whether u r fulfilling ur own potential the best way u know how.

Soul
Timely reminder.

Resolution
Miser
Things are not ur target. But u, an open being is the target.
This card challenges us to look at what we are clinging to, and what we feel we possess that is so valuable that it need to be protected by a fortress.

Soul
Yea, let go of my identity with Z. Truly over. I want win win.
And I need not compare. I truly have come to a beautiful space within me. I won't exchange this, even for Z. I just need some time. Remember it is only 2 weeks since I got his wedding invitation card. So, give myself some time. And going to Ashram will definitely help to close it.


The Power of Now
Deep pain body such as the loss of a loved one, usually need to be transmuted through acceptance, combined with the light of ur presence - sustained attention.

The sooner u realise that ur outer purpose cannot give u lasting fulfilment, the better u will make ur outer purpose subservient to ur inner purpose. 
The past cannot survive in ur presence. The past can only survive in ur absence.

Soul
Mmm, remember how I was present in the pool today. I decide to let body instead of mind take charge. Body swam.