Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Once I can savour my aloneness, I am complete

Jul 20 aft
Spend a whole afternoon updating my website.
Feels good.
Also wrote a new Story since I stopped early April 2013.
And the fact that I can upload immediately frees me.

As I was reading my old Story, this came up.
Jan Spiller on North Node in Taurus
I will only fulfill my dream of soul mate after I have experienced being complete within myself.
When I no longer need another person to make me feel whole, only then will I attract the right partner.

Soul
I am on the right track. Just yesterday I was savouring my aloneness and also appreciating that I have financial freedom to walk in the quiet park. Amen

As a reminder my Healing Song from Jan Spiller
They are supposed to turn within themselves to connect with the wealth of reassurance and peace in their own nature. Thus the bonding they need for security and a sense of self worth can happen within themselves.

Soul
My friend G asked me, what is my passion. At first I replied my writing. But then my writing is about myself, so I told her my passion is Myself.
I have come to the stage of knowing, peace and happiness is within me.
Its true I know I m still yearning for my partner but it won't stop me from being happy by myself.
Thats Self Mastery

Everyone always says I am independent, I don't need a partner.
I used to tot that it was true in the beginning. Alas it is not.
This experience with Z somehow sent me deep into attachment mode but I felt I m released now after one year of holding on, waiting for him despite no reason to do so.
For now I will savour my aloneness, my relationship and financial independence.
I am already planning to go for next Samyama Refresher in November. I can do this because I have financial and relationship freedom. I got the money and time and I need not ask anyone.

As I was driving back, suddenly it occur to me that having a partner is also a lifetime responsibility; just like having children. Now I know what they meant by bondage in relationship.



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