Health of relationship relates to the level of vulnerability/openness

Jan 26

Father, today I wake up at 5.45 am to do my practices. But I was so sleepy and decide to give myself a break. I slept back and woke up at 7.30 am and just did shakti and shambavi.

Just now finally opted out from the concall on Isha. I really didn't want to. When I woke up, I felt the resistance and decided to go with the flow instead. Don't push myself to do something that I am not keen to do.
After that, there was some guilty tots but I waived them off. It is fine, they are still my friends. I cannot commit to Isha just because of my friends. I don't want to act.

Then I wanted to call Z and there were tots that he doesn't want me. And he was just sharing his view, that's all. I waived it off too and call Z. He is in meeting.

Father, the mind acts and twist real fast. It is never satisfied, always come up with different angles. I was in turmoil for one month over house renovation and now that it has lost its hold, the mind tries to trigger me on my bed. Well, I admit it is not soft but I am fine.

Soul without shame
When u have a little distance, the chameleonlike quality of the judge's concerns can sometimes become quite laughable.

Intimate relationship is not a two-way connection but a four-way connection in which each person is dealing with another person and two judges.
As it happens, though, most people would be terrified to let go of their standards and beliefs about how things need to be in relationship. They tend to believe that these standards determine security and satisfaction. This is the judge's approach: make sure the rship is measured against the rules or at least those hard-won principles learned from past experience. Rather than provide fixed standards for future behaviour, experience, when integrated serves to develop ur inherent capacities to be yourself and relate from that truth. True peace and satisfaction only come from knowing, being and relating from ur true nature.

U believe that ur judge is needed to keep u safe in rship. The more vulnerable u r, the more u think u need it to protect u. The opposite is true; the more two people are willing to be vulnerable in themselves and with each other, the less they will need their judges for protection. In fact, the health and viability of a relationship is ultimately related to the capacity for sharing vulnerability.