When ur self breaks down, you become ecstatic

Jan 17 Aft

I called on hot water and the service man said it is fine. Anyway, it is ok lah. Like mom said my previous shower water heat not normal.

Father, I am contented. I m happy on things between Z and I. We have come a long way. For the first time I can believe that he may be able to overcome his Pluto's Five of Club (1 April 2012) and have me as Result's Queen of Diamond.

He was my Cosmic lesson and Cosmic reward and I am now reaping my efforts.

Just now when I did shoonya, I experienced a depth of silence, that is much deeper than before. I am going in deeper into my self.

Father, I am not sure. But suddenly tot of Kailash. With my joints, it will take a few hours of tracking to dismantle me. Quite doubtful that I can do it.
Amazing that I didn't think of food.

Sadhguru
When who u are, is broken, only then u will be ecstatic.
As body becomes less and less important, all the undulations of life don't affect u any more, because all the undulations are only for the body. When I say 'the body', it includes the mind. It is only the physical and mental bodies which are affected by the ups and downs of life, isn't it.

Whichever way it is, u r only going upward. U go only one way. U don't go this way, or that way. U simply go the way u want to go, because physicality loses its grip on u, u take charge of life. If physicality has a grip over u, u r never in control of ur life.

The physical is ruled by too many forces. Nobody can ever understand it fully, nor can u ever control it. Too many; we will never control all of them. So, the only way to take charge of life is to distance urself from the physical, u r in complete charge of ur life, hundred percent.

Soul
Suddenly tot of my ankle sprained during samyama and how I sat through it and how it recovers miraculously.

(Feb 17 - now I know why I was laughing so much when I received the bad news of my new staff last Wednesday. Despite me being pressured..but part of me knows it doesn't matter. And the amazing thing is the next morning, I bounced back with input on how to set my new department)