What is my passion?

Oct 23

Father, m glad I left office earlier n slept earlier.
Father, ego said no improvement in myself since I have taken up meditation n I replied whatever. At the very least, we doin cos we hav RA. The rest I leave to God. And besides, m actually feelin better.
I m not as good as I can be.

Father, m tired. While I admit m good at strategic planning, m wind down. So many rounds, like never ending. Its true I like variety, but I also wan time off. Over here there is no time off.
Its workin here, that I wan part time retirement.

I do like my staff n I do like Regional CFO but long term, it wil burn me out. No matter how much meditation I do, is extinguished daily. I can be More or perhaps I can be more at ease without the constant upheaval.

Father, I used to thrive but I admit I can't anymore. Of cos, m also afraid to leave cos I spend so much building here n I hav lovely staff and m not sure out there wil be better. This sounds like PA. Let me not judge her.

Talkin to another peer, who worked for past 8 years. Looking at Regional CFO growin old before his time, he is only 3 years older n he wanted out cos its real tiring.
I worked for 1.5 year n I wan partial retirement. Earlier I wanted to run because of fear of reporting. Then its fear of action plan. Fear of CEO. Now its fear of the vicious cycle cos the Compensation mode is not aligned to the new biz model n we have to face constant upheaval.
It looks like it will never change.

I m not sure if I am running away or this is not right for me. Like my close friend said, m not happy here n that's true. I can't say its CEO cos its d reporting environment n also business environment.

The only future I cld think of - the possibility of COO. But its wil also be constant upheaval.
Anyway, as I said m not sure if I am running or not. I wil take the passion test first.

Father, this week Osho - internal card is Creativity.
Now m reading the Passion Test book. Thank u.

Passion Test
Both of us are committed to spiritual practice. Meditation has always been the basis of our lives.
Today we support each other fully lin iving our passions, whether they make logical sense or not.

Each of us is unique. Each of us has something special to offer the world. Each of us has our own natural gifts and talents. To be truly happy, we must use our uniqueness to add value to the lives of others.
Destiny and passion goes together.
Passion and love are inextricably intertwined because they both arise from the heart. When u follow ur passions, u will love ur life.
You can have a decrease in negative emotions and an increase in positive emotions when you align urself with what u believe is most important to u.

Mantra
1. Intention - consciously stating what u choose to create in ur life is the first step to manifesting it.

2. Attention - give attention to what u choose to create in your life and it will begin to show up.

3. No tension - when u are open to what is appearing in this moment, u allow God's will to move through you. When u hold tightly to ur concepts of how things shld be, u shut off the flow of life, which in turn prevents u from enjoying the fulfillment of living ur destiny.

Soul - mmm, something here. Thank u, Father.
Frankly, lookin at d mantra. I honestly says I haven't even state my intention. I jus know what I don't want.

The word "Clarity" is being used everywhere n of cos this is CEO's fav word on me. Always saying I lack clarity in my commn. I long hav decided she lack 'understanding" in her listening. I admit, my brain flow from A to E, while she needs A, B,C,D,E in sequence.

Passion Test
Your passion are not ur destiny; they are clues or keys to ur purpose in life.
The more passionate ur life, the more closely ur life is aligned wit ur destiny.
Destiny is a life's journey.
Passion change and morph over time as one comes to know and understand oneself more deeply.
As u follow ur passions, u will find yourself drawn irresistibly onward until one day u wake up and find u r living a passionate life, filled wit a sense of destiny.

Janet
When I needed a job, I jus scanned the classifieds. My only question were, how hard wld I hav to work and how much was d pay?

Soul - mine is how hard wld I hav to work? how much challenges I hav to face? I don't ask abt pay, perhaps that's why m paid low. Frankly d job m doing, even if m getting much more, my level of unhappiness is stil the same. My happiness is not on money.

Janet
I worked as a recruiter, but I couldn't get any placement, feeling bad everyday when others is achieving
M known to be a great connector, a networker, a communicator, a real dynamo of energy, someone who could get anything done.
What I didn't know was I had no left brain n wouldn't able to communicate wit engineers.

Debra - when we saw a person who had something we wanted, we needed to move beyond envy or resentment. Instead we shld jus tell ourselves, "That's for me!".

Soul - something here. I can sense it.