Monday, November 23, 2009

Samyama???

Nov 11

Soul
Projection
Why everyone wan to be my teacher
Why I can't be a teacher too like all d author.
Ego said u asian, no degeee also no specialise, not committed. Chance of failure is high.
While I was driving, I tot I wil go to the States and join people like Jane Atwood, Katie Byron and others.
As usual, I tot in order to do that I need my husband n that means I need a foreignor. Why?? Cos, m direction blind n I am fearful of venturing

Why everyone wan to be a teacher, especially they don't hav d wisdom and power n charisma.

Yday, I also tot my friend wan to be a teacher. Actually she was only sharing per se. Why I don't felt this wit my friend. Perhaps wit my friend, the tone is sharing/asking/clarifying.

This mornin I woke up n calm n know m not goin to Isha. I wan to focus on my Passion. The temple is for me to thank Sadhguru, rather than for me and the Samyama can go later.
What's important to me is also my family. I don wan to worry them unnecessarily. I guess I was acting overtime. Too much lah.

For now focus on my Passion, get the loan settled. Do my Markers, do my Vision Board, find out what makes me happy. What is my highest, when I don't worry abt failure. Isha is a tool to me, not the ultimate. Even when I guide, I wld jus be using Isha as an avenue. There are so many teachers out there.

My osho transformation card
Internal I am unaware - Laughter
If you change your sadness to celebration, then you will also be capable of changing your death into resurrection. So learn the art while there is still time.

Soul - I have changed my sadness into celebration. I am only ernest in one direction, we r meant to be happy. It is us that makes us suffer. And we suffer cos we need to feel d pain and hence seek awareness, seek help, seek guide.
Now I am at the death stage.

Direction of growth
The quest - gather all courage and take a jump
Blissfulness does not allow u to exist, u have to disappear. That's why you don't see many blissful people in the world. Misery nourishes your ego - that's why you see so many miserable people in the world. The basic central point is d ego.

For the realisation of ultimate truth, u hav to pay the price - and the price is nothing but dropping the ego. So when such a moment comes, don't hesistate.

Soul - yeap, take a jump out from corporate world. I wil create the opening and next 6 mth - until July, find n live my Passion.

Integration - need to work on
Greed - a parable of ambition and hurry.
Whenever people become very greedy, they become hurrued, and go on finding more ways to gain more speed. They are continuously on the run becos they think that life is running out.
So drop greed, and don't be bothered abt the result. Sometimes it happens that because of your impatience, you miss many things.

Soul - my tot of goin for the consecration and samyama is to gain more speed. That's becos I gave myself 6 mth to stop my job. That's means I need to find out asap on what is the next one for me. I want to be in control to ensure d result. Aiyah, so blessin in disguise, samyama is in CNY, so to stop me. Otherwise I wld sure go. On the consecration, m glad I hav my Top 5 and since meditation is No.4, my choice is clear that I hav to focus on Top 3 first.
I know if I go for the consecration n samyama, I wil need to prepare for it and not focused on my Top 3.

Amen

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