No longer afraid to confront perceived authority

Oct 25

Father, yday send d sms to close friend in good faith n also to set our rship on equal path. But she took it negatively n said its difficult to be in rship when she has to guard herself n she said I judge her harshly now that m grown up. I replied that I was trying to help her but if she doesn't think its helpful, she can ignore. As for being on guard, I hav been on guard wit her for d past few years n its not easy. An hour later, she replied m her mirror.

I jus now one thing - m finally aware why I attract such authoritative friends who think they know how I shld feel n hence dismissed my feelings. Whenever my feeling is dismissed, I felt unloved. Its because of me doing it to myself - suppressing n dismissing my own feelin that I attracted such authoritative friends. We'll, last friday I already acknowledge m not happy at my job n give 6 mths to quit.
Today when I did passion test, stimulating work came under No. 9 and even working with people we mutually respect n like takes precedence. I who tot work was no. 1, now knew that d main thing is for me to feel happy n joyful wherever I may be.

My Top 5 Passion

1. I am happy and joyful - 5
I m happy 80 percent of time, both in n out of meditation.

2. I am feeling loved and appreciated - 5
I m contented, no more proving myself to seek approval
I no longer see people's inability to see my inner world as a reflection of my unlovability
My companion is sought.
My husband n I growing together, feelin blessed we waited for each other.


3. I am wit my partner savouring our life together - 0
My husband n I livin in our nature home, enjoyin our house, jus being there
We travel whenever we want to, Spain, Europe, eating all d lovely food in the world.
Seeing all the majestic scenery of the world
We do sky diving together.
We meditate together n also enjoy our stay in d ashram.

4. I am doing my meditation everywhere and anytime, even wit eyes open - 6
I am centred n eyes twinking. Laugther can erupt at the simple tot.
I do meditation step only when I wan to, otherwise jus swing into the silence space.

5. I am staying in a beautiful nature house wit open glass overseeing trees on one side and overseeing the blue/orange sky - 0
I m sitting in my living room, looking at the tree, savouring coffe brewed from coffee machine
Me, jus be there, feeling d space n can fall into meditative mode anywhere


Father, savouring our life. That's what it is even for d nature house. It is meant to be savoured, jus like good black coffee.

I m surprised d partner came first over work. I hav always put work first cos its more reliable, and there is no chance of feeling unloved - rejection/low value, until the current company. Partner n meditation high on the list.

Today I also decided that I may skip sunday meditation, my sabbatical, besides m running at 7.30 am.

Getting a partner, m stil doubtful especially since almost everyone says m plump. But I do like my looks now. Of cos, jus now did massage n she confirms it. So, how to get partner n I tot of reducing bfast. Aiyah, m lovable lah. Its true I gained weight, but I ate double these days cos I don't feel like controlling myself. Besides, like mom said eventhough I hav gained weigth but I look good :)
Also now I m walking every Sunday n I m feeling good. And I m doing yoga from Mon to Fri
Sat - swimming
Sun - walking
Sun - no meditation - jus shoonya before sleepin

The Passion Test
The passions that hav low scores are the ones u haven't given as much attention to. The passion wit high scores has received ur attention.

Soul - true.

The Passion Test
What u give attention to, every moment of every day, day in and day out, determines what is created in ur life. What u put ur attention is creating the results you are experiencing in ur life.
The great news is that where u place ur attention is primarily a habit.
Whenever u r faced wit a choice, a decision or an opportunity, choose in favour of ur passions.
Place d cards - remember them. U don't hav to create the plans to figure how to live them (although there is nothing wrong with that when u feel inspired)

Soul - d partner n nature, something I haven't put any attention. Its a dream that I tot I can't hav but I do wan it. On d positive note, at least I am acknowledging it.
I didn't even wan to put up adv. Partly fear n also partly pride. Part of me said m over it.

The Passion Test.
Your life always express what is going on deep inside u.
There if ur results are out of line wit ur stated intentions, its time to do some self-examination.
The 2nd step in manifesting anything is to put attention on its creation. This means developing the habit of giving attention to everything that supports ur intention and being indifferent to those things that do not.
Put ur attention on all the good in ur life (feeling joyful off work, meditation, loved), deal with situations that must be dealt with (looking for a job that makes me happy), and don't dwell on anything that doesn't support what u choose to create (don't worry that partner cannot find me, cannot like me when I am looking for job that makes me happy)

Overcomin fear step by step. Write down ur strength, how capable u are n the reasons why u can accomplish ur goals, fear will drop away.


Soul - I mus asked myself n my friend why I m lovable n m wit a loving partner

The Passion Test
If u wan to see how powerful u are, look at ur life and what u have created, good or otherwise. It is ur creation. If u r not happy wit what u hav created, u can begin creating consciously.
When u r truly passionate abt something, there is nothing that can keep u from it. You won't hav to try to put ur attention on it, because it draws u irresistibly to it.

Soul
I m actually quite happy. I rate my life a 6. I m passionate abt Isha yoga tools n it is so effortless n everytime m down, something wil quickly pull me back and it goes even deeper; like falling in love.

Father, jus now did meditation cos I wan to. From now on for Sunday, I only do meditation becos I wan to, not becos I hav to. Its in alignment wit my Passion - being happy n joyful.

The Passion Test
When u r clear abt what ur passions are, you can't predict how they will get fulfill. What is required is jus for u to remain open to everything that appeared, without holding on to ur own concepts of what u needed.

Vision board - past pix in a notebook. Look at it daily - give it attention

Remember, the people who are the most successful at living passionate lives are the one who take the time to do their inner homework.