Letting things be

Oct 13 afternoon

Had a good cry after my mornin journal. I felt contented. Did my shoonya. Jus had a good bowl of noodle. M glad I got another new place to eat. Things r settling down. Have discussed wit FM, if cannot shape up d Acct Exec to use the Acct Asst, we get the Acct Asst to support n freed upd the Acct Supervisor n then Acct Supervisor to do monthly closing, budget n ad hoc client recon. The FM can oversee the Acct Exec directly n clean up WIP and Estimates. So, may be a good thing.

The meeting initiated by CEO was a good one, and its a valid meeting. The way the GM says it, like it is nothing. Father, if only d CEO knows that the 2 closest persons to her is the one that is bad mouthing her n want her gone. Anyway, not for me to tell. Again, GM gives me the impression of being an adminstrator, not ahead of agency materials. Anyway, it is not my call. Most likely GM wil stay first n then stabilise, growth unlikely.

For d first time. I m no bothered if d Head of company is good cos it doesn't matter to me. They won't affect me. Even if they bring the Company down, I can opt for partial retirement. If they bring up, I got higher salary n can get headcount. Either way is ok wit me.

Osho card for the week
1. The issue - Mind
Our mind is meant to be servant n not to run our lives.
Soul - true, I know for sure. Was in d head yday, but yday intense meditation n this mornin clearin of my past negative image has calmed me somewhat. Of cos, I know d mind will act up again, but I wil manage it cos I no longer let it rule my life.

2. Internal influence u can't see - We are the world
Life has been given to u to create, and to rejouce and to celebrate. Only in celebration do we go beyond the circle of birth and death.
This is a time of communication, of sharing the riches that each of us brings to the whole. When we can combine our tremendous inner wealth to create a treasure of love and wisdom that is available to all, we r linked together.
Soul - yeap, my blog. Now hav 2 persons who reads. Hope they r able to use it too.

3. External influence that u r aware - Ordinariness.
Whenever, in whatsoever situation, u become one, a peace, a happiness, a bliss, surrounds you, arises in you. You feel fulfilled. There are no need to wait for these moments - these moments can become ur natural life.

Soul - I already know I can connect with the Source, whenever I quiet down, in the car, in the pool, in the office alone, doing suria namaskara. I can connect wit my eyes closed. I hav not reached Teacher's level, she said she connect to the Universe wit eyes open.

4. What is needed for resolution.
The lovers
When ur love is sharing, not asking for somethin in return but is ready only to give. That is compassion
Our partner often functions as a mirror, reflecting unseen aspects of our deeper self and supporting us to become whole.

Soul - not sure why I got this card. The last time was when I hav the confrontation wit close friend. But I can see close friend n PA as why I am affected. Its not them, its me. Their continous judgement is jus a reflection of my inner judgement. They project it outside, mine is inside. So, I now release them from being the Judger, cos the reality is, I am the Judge, albeit hidden one. Now that I can see, I will release my Inner Judge.

5. The resolution - Experiencing.
Experiencing is the feeling of wonder itself, the thrill of communion, the gentle touch of our connectedness wit all that surrounds us.
The way to approach Nature - humble n simple. Nature doesn't bang any drums when it burst forth into flower, nor play any dirges when the trees let go of their leaves in the fall. When we approach her in the right spirit, she has many secrets to share.

Soul - I know. The connection wit the Source has fast track growth in me. I had no intention to do yoga. But the liver scare n meeting another RA patient, knowing my body is resessive n I need the body help to recover myself. So, hatha yoga is required to activate me. Then even Olivenol tells me to do yoga and meditation daily to remove stress. Amen.

Evenin
Too much in mind. When I saw d email stating abt Samyama in Feb 2010 n said hatha is a must. I freaked out. Cos my intention is only to do hatha for my health. I don't wan to do samyama.
If I don't want, who can force me?? Why fearful. You know u need d hatha for ur body release, that's all.
Also not sure how to tell mom on my trip to Spore, she will freaked out.