Is White lies really bad????

Nov 10
Father, now that I know I wil skip this round Samyama since m spending 1st CNY wit hubby. The feeling was so exhilarating. M glad I made the Top 5 prioritisation.

I wan to savour this CNY wit my hubby.

This mornin hatha yoga, during the 45 n 90 lap, I was laughing so much. So different from the cries when I did it in Spore. Teacher told me that I created a commotion in Spore. Lots of people keep asking why m I laughin. She said so sad they hav to ask why. I replied that I salute them for their perseverance if they can continue so enthusiatically without feeling d bliss n joy.

Father, I am lucky. My ex-staff said m wonderful. Anyway, I felt good cos finally acted on the 2 action plan. The first one on adv already done. The second one on loan settlement, I hav printed out d form. Will get it done.

Suddenly I remember mom always tell white lies to pacify my crying sister. I often berated her for setting up her expectation. She replies that my sis wil forget n she doesn know what she wants. Why this comes in? Why I felt it strongly? I wonder perhaps if my mom has told me something, to pacify me when m in tears and didn't follow thru. That's why I m careful wit my words. I won't say something that can't materialise. I won't give people false expectation. Perhaps, that's why I also feel not much hope on the adv as my previous experience didn't give me my partner n I don't wan to give myself false expectation.
Perhaps I shld start to expect something I tot I cannot get. Bit contradicting.

The Passion Test
The 7 habits of highly effective people - Stephen R Covey - son of Dr Covey, the author.
Example comes first, then rship, then teaching because example is seen, rship is felt, and teaching is heard. People tend not to hear until they see and feel.

Soul - why I always avoid d book. I know I judge d guy cos I tot he was arrogant. Also I felt I m already effective and don't need any books on that, that's also arrogance, right?
Perhaps wil buy. Aiyah, d other day got
sale, but didn't buy eventhough I do recall d hesitation.

The Passion Test
The process of building trust begins wit urself, wit ur own credibility, ur own trustworthiness. Its hard to establish trust wit others if you can't trust yourself.

Soul
We have not done the Marker (to attract all the help we needed to make our dream come thru) and Vision Book. Wil start that.
Mmm, shared wit Paulyn on 5 diamond. She said external change not seen yet. Yea, I wil be married before year end.

The Passion Test
"Being happy for no reason" means experiencing a state of deep inner fulfillment that comes from a profound connection wit ur own nature.

Soul - I m happy whenever I connect wit the Source. I can connect whenever my mind is quiet down. Joy jus arise n I start to laugh. Hurray!


The Passion Test
You have control over action alone, never over its fruits.
You hav no way of insuring that u wil achieve any goal. The only thing you can determine is what you do, what action you take, to create the life you choose to live.
That's why it's so important that you love what you do. Most of ur life is about the process of creating, not the outcom/results.
Happiness arise spontaneously when u love the process.
Passion - how u live ur life
Goal - what u choose to create.

Soul - I love meditation. I love connecting wit my Source.
I jus checked my Top 5, key note is I m feeling happy.
Now I am happy when I eat lovely food. I am happy when I meditate.

So, I must find out how can I be happy. What do I need to hav to be happy? What m I doing to be happy?

I know m also happy when I can help people, give them clarity. The last one I helped was Temporarty Accountant n now maybe fellow meditator. I can do more. Its time to visit Befrienders.
Also let me think of way I can be happy. I always know of d way I can be unhappy but being happy, I never dare to ask cos fear of failure. I tot I can't have. My role is just to bear wit what life can offer me. I jus make sure I don't hav unhappy situation n d rest I can live with. If happiness turns up, its good, if not, is fine cos m not expecting happiness n hence I can't be disappointed.
Don't give myself false hope. Don't giv myself wrong expectation n then possibility of failure and sadness.
Don't wan to lie to myself.

This coincide wit my sudden tot this mornin abt me angry at mom for giving false hope to my sister whenever she cry just becos to pacify her, my mom wil lie.

Father, I got such low self esteem. I am meant for great happiness cos I bring many strengths in me. I can be more hyappy than most people cos I hav so much more to give, to offer n hence to receive. Of cos, on surface, it looks like I did well but to take d case of alcoholic and non-alcoholic, I cannot compare wit the alcoholic. I am in d non-alcoholic, m self-sustaining.

A tot came, no wonder I keep on attracting challenges after challenges. It to wake me up, to d day when I said enough is enough, I don't need challenges anymore. It is waiting for me to take charge and stand up for my happiness instead of accepting whatever life can offer. I am meant to be happy. I have lots more than others.

Always my fear of failure/disappointment/sadness prevents me from seeking to be happy. You wish higher, ui won't get. I didn't realise I can. I am going to wish higher. I am competent and I trust I can aim for happiness.
I need not fear anything now cos I hav the Source to go back too. My base happiness is always there.

My job - I can live with it but m not happy. I no longer want to settle for jus living neutrelly. I wan to be happy.

The Passion Test
Hiding beneath the layers of beliefs, concepts and ideas that have led to your current life situation is a wonderful world.
It is a world of joy, of bliss, of fullness. Like the sun, which is always there behind the clouds, the experience of that blissful world is never completely gone, its just out of sight.
The other side of the pain, physical, mental or emotional, is peace, silence, bliss.

Soul - I know that. Whenever m in meditation mode, I allow myself to go into the pain and once the tears came. I start to laugh.

Father, amen. I love You. Thank You so much.

I cried so much in the toilet, for d lost years. For the ignorance. Moments later, I start to giggle cos behind d pain is joy. Amen.

Father, thank u. At first wanted to share. But tot keep this to myself. Tot of doing samyama but later cos my 3 passion is spending CNY wit hubby.

The Passion Test
Marci Shimoff
We all come from the same source, and that source is pure joy, pure love and pure happiness. Its our essential nature. In order to experience true happiness we jus need to feel that connection to our Source.