May 13 Even
Father, reading M's card, Queen of Club followed by 7 of Diamond. Also read that I am his Jupiter and Cosmic card. No wonder we are here together. While I did act as Jupiter and my Cosmic card just came out. But I was bit defensive cos being pushed by CEO and GM. Like I told GM, there is nothing to dislike abt M; its just a case that they dislike, my neutrel stand become liking to them.
Father, looks like I do have some payout to do. Next Monday, will chat wit M again.
Did my evening meditation, very experiential. I was laughing and my body was dancing and even did the shoulder stand in one fluid motion. I came back.
Sixes
Have come to fulfil a special and unique purpose in their life that will involve becoming a signpost to others of a better way of life.
Some will become famous spiritual leaders and teachers, while other will practice their uplifting of souls among the members of their family or co-workers. It is those Sixes that listen to their inner voice who realise that they are here to bring others to light. They find that their life has much more meaning than just getting by day-to-day and fulfilling their personal desires and ambitions.
52 days till 2 July
Six of Heart - The Peace-maker
Their lives are intended to be that of plenty and giving, sharing their wealth of love with those around them.
They will experience the discovery of special mission in life, one that involves bringing love into the lives of others in a special way.
It is here that they find their highest fulfillment and happiness.
Six of Heart must learn to embrace the less attractive qualities in themselves and others in order to find that perfect love.
Six of heart has often be referred to as the perfect love of Christ.
It is akin to a love that surpasses all materiality and embraces the polarities of life.
Every 6 of Heart person can become aligned with this love when they accept themselves and their loves one with all their imperfection.
Soul (23 May)
Just realised that the next 52 days, I am to approve and love myself. In order to do that, I am to approve and love others too.
No wonder, my joints are swelling..and so stress...
Not easy to love myself.
Or perhaps the lesson is to love myself despite the pain.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Samyama - complete perception of truth is only possible when all points and angles of viewing disappear
May 13
A tot jus occurred to me. If I can approve and love the CEO who is unlovable. And this fit to my path, Six of diamond. It is the card of peace and intuitively knowing how to love others in a spiritual sense.
CEO
She has no parameter with her spouse and child but high parameter with others. She has fallout with all her siblings.
Like PA says, she is a unique character.
If I can guide her to set parameter with her spouse and child, she can then have some love for herself and others. Mmm, leave this for now.
As of now, m glad that we are able to see thru the issue between S and W.
External influence u r aware
Consciousness.
There is no desire to understand from the perspective of the mind - the understanding you have now is existential, whole, in harmony with the pulse of life itself. Accept this great gift and share it.
Soul
I know m definitely not with my mind. I wan and can see beyond the mind. I can do so becos I don't aim to be right. I am willing to be wrong if that's the price to pay for being happy.
Osho
One can speak so long as he is journeying to the temple of truth; the moment he enters its innermost sanctuary, all words, all languages fail. At the ultimate point, one has no other way than to become silent.
Complete perception of truth is only possible when all points and angles of viewing disappear, when one is nowhere or everywhere, when one is free of all ideas and concepts, of all words and images, of all associations. Then only knowing happens, truth happen.
Soul
Father, I always lamented why I have to go thru so much challenges. Now I realised all the challenges makes me humble and also to give me Truth, to free me from the mind's perception.
If I have no challenges, my beliefs won't be shaken and I would continue to be wrong. If I have not wanted peace more than I wanted to be right, I wouldn't be willing to shake off my beliefs.
So, now I know why all the challenges for me. It is just an opportunity to dispel my beliefs and to see the Truth.
Osho
Efforts can, at the most, lead you to the soul, which is an incomplete attainment. To complete it, to attain supreme, the sadhaka will have to take a jump and give up the soul too.
Devotion is a path for the emotive ones and Discipline is path for the active ones.
Soul
I am going towards soul. As for supreme, stiil have deide.
Krishna
I will accept only that which comes uninvited, without efforts. I will be content with that which is, the true. And truth is not a thing that one can find.
Soul
Yday I woke up abt 1.40 am, less than 2 hours of sleep. I woke up cos I was affected by the drama. The man and woman accepted each other, after a long struggle and the next day the woman was killed. So sad, for all. Wonder why it affect me.
A tot jus occurred to me. If I can approve and love the CEO who is unlovable. And this fit to my path, Six of diamond. It is the card of peace and intuitively knowing how to love others in a spiritual sense.
CEO
She has no parameter with her spouse and child but high parameter with others. She has fallout with all her siblings.
Like PA says, she is a unique character.
If I can guide her to set parameter with her spouse and child, she can then have some love for herself and others. Mmm, leave this for now.
As of now, m glad that we are able to see thru the issue between S and W.
External influence u r aware
Consciousness.
There is no desire to understand from the perspective of the mind - the understanding you have now is existential, whole, in harmony with the pulse of life itself. Accept this great gift and share it.
Soul
I know m definitely not with my mind. I wan and can see beyond the mind. I can do so becos I don't aim to be right. I am willing to be wrong if that's the price to pay for being happy.
Osho
One can speak so long as he is journeying to the temple of truth; the moment he enters its innermost sanctuary, all words, all languages fail. At the ultimate point, one has no other way than to become silent.
Complete perception of truth is only possible when all points and angles of viewing disappear, when one is nowhere or everywhere, when one is free of all ideas and concepts, of all words and images, of all associations. Then only knowing happens, truth happen.
Soul
Father, I always lamented why I have to go thru so much challenges. Now I realised all the challenges makes me humble and also to give me Truth, to free me from the mind's perception.
If I have no challenges, my beliefs won't be shaken and I would continue to be wrong. If I have not wanted peace more than I wanted to be right, I wouldn't be willing to shake off my beliefs.
So, now I know why all the challenges for me. It is just an opportunity to dispel my beliefs and to see the Truth.
Osho
Efforts can, at the most, lead you to the soul, which is an incomplete attainment. To complete it, to attain supreme, the sadhaka will have to take a jump and give up the soul too.
Devotion is a path for the emotive ones and Discipline is path for the active ones.
Soul
I am going towards soul. As for supreme, stiil have deide.
Krishna
I will accept only that which comes uninvited, without efforts. I will be content with that which is, the true. And truth is not a thing that one can find.
Soul
Yday I woke up abt 1.40 am, less than 2 hours of sleep. I woke up cos I was affected by the drama. The man and woman accepted each other, after a long struggle and the next day the woman was killed. So sad, for all. Wonder why it affect me.
Samyama means balance, equilibrium, to be just in the middle
May 12
Today, feel ok, not sleepy. Father, yday I asked Sadhguru for message on how to repair the rship between among my staff.
A tot came, to use P to get the ball rolling.
I think S keep on thinking W is influenced by P. S is afraid of antagonise W further.
Father, what's happening to me? Why am I not as confident before? I used to take pride in getting people together, confronting issue and etc.
Nowadays, I just don't want to. Think these issues is like going back to the past.
Yday Sadhguru says I have to continue my work continuosly. Not caring about the results. Just do it. And my Weekly Osho talked abt sharing.
Mmm. A tot came, jus like P complained of A previously, but A left. So, perhaps this case between S and W is the same.
Also, I am not sure of my own issue. Personally, I like variety and changes and hence I am more pro S rather than W. That's partly why I don't act cos I don't wan to be unfair to W. Its like the more I know, the less sure I am.
Osho
It is quite possible that one chooses a particular dimension of life to the exclusion of the rest, and attains to its wholeness. The river that flows in a single stream is as much entitled to reach the ocean as one flowing in many stream. With respect to reaching the ocean, there is no difference.
One who attains to wholeness through a single facet of his life not only negates all other facets of his own life, he also becomes instrumental in negating those aspects in the lives of many other multidimensional people.
On the other hand, one who attains to wholeness, to the absolute, through all aspects of his life, proves helpful even to all kinds of one-dimensional seekers in their journey.
Soul
Tot of me and S, we r mutlidimensional and W is one dimensional. Actually, lots of specialise Finance person is one dimensional becos its the attribute. With Finance, change is not encouraged cos it affect too many items and cause more work to reconcile.
Whereas Admin and HR is multi because of lots of possible scenarios and dealing wit people.
Let me see both their strength for their respecitve dept.
Osho
Samyama means balance, equilibrium, to be just in the middle. When the scales are equalised so that neither side outweighs the other.
It is a striking balance between indulgence and renunciation.
Such a person is neither an ascetic nor a hedonist - or he is both.
Soul (23 May )
Father, suddenly tot, perhaps thats is why I am no longer as confident before. It is difficult to be decisive when you can see the 2 scales at different ends. Also, when you can see, the responsibility seem to increased further that we have to seek clarity before we decide and act.
Osho
There are 2 kinds of discontent in love. You are discontented if u don't find your lover and you are discontented even if you find one.
When u find someone you love and who loves you, you realise that in spite of the meeting, a distance remains and nothing can be done to mitigate the pain of this separateness.
In spite of everything you do to do away with this separateness, this distance from your lover, it continues to torment you.
So, very often a person who does not find his love is not as miserable as one who finds it. One who does not find can still hope to find, but one who has found is robbed of all hope - his discontent and despair are much deeper.
Unless two lovers become divine, they cannot achieve a real unity.
A man and woman can at best be related to each other; they cannot be united and one. Only divine elements can meet and merge into each other. There is really nothing to unite or divide; nothing is separate from them.
Today card
Seven of Club
Low side is negative thinking
High side is mental and spiritual revelation, expanded consciousness.
How it manifest for u will depend on ur ability to elevate ur thinking.
52 days card
Six of Heart
Balance and peace in personal relationship.
It reveals to u a special purpose in ur life, one of helping others by sharing love with them. You may become aware of a special mission that u r to perform when this card appears. It is the card of peace and intuitively knowing how to love others in a spiritual sense.
Evenin
Today, W approached me to give feedback on S. I gave her my input and halfway thru she suddenly cry. I asked her why and she couldn't reply me. I asked her does she think m scolding her, she says nope. She doesn't know why she cry. I then able to express that she is crying cos she is feeling overwhelmed with resentment. She shared that not only she didn't like the way S worked but also S seem to gave me the impression that W is not doing her part. I told her I know her well and if I don't think she is doing well, she would have received my immediate feedback.
I told her that in d beginning, I couldn't see S's weakness but I now know he is not detailed orientated. I also told him that while S is sad abt their deteriorating working rship, he is not aware of his weakness. So, she has to learn to give feedback.
Then S came to me and I told him to wipe things clean. I apologised that in d beginning I interpreted W as more defensive but then last week I also realised S contributing factor. So, I want him to realise that.
Father, I think I fulfill my higher purpose today.
Also, six of heart, very appropriate following six of diamond.
Today spoke to P and suddenly she says CEO is difficult to be loved. I told her that's because she gave all to her family and not receiving and hence she is forcing us to give her love from the office. I told her that she lacked love inside.
I was saying my RA affirmation is to approve and love myself and to teach others too.
Then P says in CEO's case, the love is zero, so I have a good working case. If I can guide her to approve and love myself, RA would be cured...ha ha.
Today, feel ok, not sleepy. Father, yday I asked Sadhguru for message on how to repair the rship between among my staff.
A tot came, to use P to get the ball rolling.
I think S keep on thinking W is influenced by P. S is afraid of antagonise W further.
Father, what's happening to me? Why am I not as confident before? I used to take pride in getting people together, confronting issue and etc.
Nowadays, I just don't want to. Think these issues is like going back to the past.
Yday Sadhguru says I have to continue my work continuosly. Not caring about the results. Just do it. And my Weekly Osho talked abt sharing.
Mmm. A tot came, jus like P complained of A previously, but A left. So, perhaps this case between S and W is the same.
Also, I am not sure of my own issue. Personally, I like variety and changes and hence I am more pro S rather than W. That's partly why I don't act cos I don't wan to be unfair to W. Its like the more I know, the less sure I am.
Osho
It is quite possible that one chooses a particular dimension of life to the exclusion of the rest, and attains to its wholeness. The river that flows in a single stream is as much entitled to reach the ocean as one flowing in many stream. With respect to reaching the ocean, there is no difference.
One who attains to wholeness through a single facet of his life not only negates all other facets of his own life, he also becomes instrumental in negating those aspects in the lives of many other multidimensional people.
On the other hand, one who attains to wholeness, to the absolute, through all aspects of his life, proves helpful even to all kinds of one-dimensional seekers in their journey.
Soul
Tot of me and S, we r mutlidimensional and W is one dimensional. Actually, lots of specialise Finance person is one dimensional becos its the attribute. With Finance, change is not encouraged cos it affect too many items and cause more work to reconcile.
Whereas Admin and HR is multi because of lots of possible scenarios and dealing wit people.
Let me see both their strength for their respecitve dept.
Osho
Samyama means balance, equilibrium, to be just in the middle. When the scales are equalised so that neither side outweighs the other.
It is a striking balance between indulgence and renunciation.
Such a person is neither an ascetic nor a hedonist - or he is both.
Soul (23 May )
Father, suddenly tot, perhaps thats is why I am no longer as confident before. It is difficult to be decisive when you can see the 2 scales at different ends. Also, when you can see, the responsibility seem to increased further that we have to seek clarity before we decide and act.
Osho
There are 2 kinds of discontent in love. You are discontented if u don't find your lover and you are discontented even if you find one.
When u find someone you love and who loves you, you realise that in spite of the meeting, a distance remains and nothing can be done to mitigate the pain of this separateness.
In spite of everything you do to do away with this separateness, this distance from your lover, it continues to torment you.
So, very often a person who does not find his love is not as miserable as one who finds it. One who does not find can still hope to find, but one who has found is robbed of all hope - his discontent and despair are much deeper.
Unless two lovers become divine, they cannot achieve a real unity.
A man and woman can at best be related to each other; they cannot be united and one. Only divine elements can meet and merge into each other. There is really nothing to unite or divide; nothing is separate from them.
Today card
Seven of Club
Low side is negative thinking
High side is mental and spiritual revelation, expanded consciousness.
How it manifest for u will depend on ur ability to elevate ur thinking.
52 days card
Six of Heart
Balance and peace in personal relationship.
It reveals to u a special purpose in ur life, one of helping others by sharing love with them. You may become aware of a special mission that u r to perform when this card appears. It is the card of peace and intuitively knowing how to love others in a spiritual sense.
Evenin
Today, W approached me to give feedback on S. I gave her my input and halfway thru she suddenly cry. I asked her why and she couldn't reply me. I asked her does she think m scolding her, she says nope. She doesn't know why she cry. I then able to express that she is crying cos she is feeling overwhelmed with resentment. She shared that not only she didn't like the way S worked but also S seem to gave me the impression that W is not doing her part. I told her I know her well and if I don't think she is doing well, she would have received my immediate feedback.
I told her that in d beginning, I couldn't see S's weakness but I now know he is not detailed orientated. I also told him that while S is sad abt their deteriorating working rship, he is not aware of his weakness. So, she has to learn to give feedback.
Then S came to me and I told him to wipe things clean. I apologised that in d beginning I interpreted W as more defensive but then last week I also realised S contributing factor. So, I want him to realise that.
Father, I think I fulfill my higher purpose today.
Also, six of heart, very appropriate following six of diamond.
Today spoke to P and suddenly she says CEO is difficult to be loved. I told her that's because she gave all to her family and not receiving and hence she is forcing us to give her love from the office. I told her that she lacked love inside.
I was saying my RA affirmation is to approve and love myself and to teach others too.
Then P says in CEO's case, the love is zero, so I have a good working case. If I can guide her to approve and love myself, RA would be cured...ha ha.
Input more than output
May 11
Father, I am sleepy. Noticed that I have been sleep for past 2 weeks. This 2 days, I have to take a 5 min doze in the car.
Father, I have gained weight. I guess this show that my work stress level has reduced and yet I have been eating double since I started meditation. These 2 days didn't finish my breakfast cos the amount is bigger than my pre-meditation and stress period.
I will eat according to what my body need. The hatha yoga, swim and walk has helped me loads but its time to do my part to eat consciously as I am no longer facing stress at work. Input is more than output. Stop when I am full.
This mornin woke up, the motivation to do meditation is back, thanks to Cloud of Unknowing.
Osho
1. Issue - Silence
It will be easy for u to rest inside, to plumb the depths of your own inner silence to the point where it meets the silence of the universe.
Now is the time to come home to yourself. The understanding and insights that come to you in these moments will be manifested later on, in a more outgoing phase of ur life.
Soul
Yeap, I am encountering it. This morning was a nice one, I just go into silence.
Of cos, part of me says why no outer impact. Perhaps this card tell me jus the savour the silence and be patient.
This few days in my awareness - the conflicting thoughts I have of my partner. Me, wanting and not wanting, such confusion, no wonder such manifestation of rship that I don't want.
Jus looked at my face. It looks nice and firm and little lines and not puff up like previously. So, there is benefits.
2. Internal influence that u r unable to see - Flowering
Your blissfulness, your benediction, your ecstasy should not be contained within you like a seed. It should open like a flower and spread its fragrance to all and sundry - not only to the friends but to the strangers too. Not bothered whether it is accepted or not.
You might feel like a garden of flowers right now, showered with blessings from everywhere.
Spread your joy around for all to share.
Soul
Coincidentally I changed my blog name to Joy.
3. External influence of which you are aware - Consciousness
This flower that has become aware of itself need not come back to life because life is nothing but a school in which to learn. He has learned the lesson, he is now beyond delusions. He will move from the known for the first time not into the unknown, but into the unknowable.
The influence of mind is generally either ridiculous or oppressive and need to be mastered.
There is a deep clarity, detached, rooted in the deep stillness that lies at the core of ur being.
There is no desire to understand from the perspective of the mind - the understanding you have now is existential, whole, in harmony with the pulse of life itself.
Accept this great gift, and share it.
Soul
I am slowly but surely seeing the mechanics of my mind.
I used to be proud of my mind and then 2 years back, was sad about the shittiness of my mind. After meditation, I start to see that it does has strength and weakness too.
And now, I am seeing the mechanics of mind. The contradictary thoughts that causes confusion and resulted in manifestation that we don't want.
Today tot of d partnership in d drama. I tot, while its pleasurable tot, it is not correct timing as I wan to focus on hatha, moments later the tot just flew cos I didn't hold on to it. Mmmm, this is similar to my training for samyama meditation.
Looks like there is benefits.
4. What is needed for resolution - Existence
You are not accidental. Existence needs you. Once u r clean and clear, you can see tremendous love falling on you from all dimensions.
We forgot that we are part of Existence as we pursue our own private agenda and believe we must fight to get what we want.
Now is the time to look at whether u r allowing yourself to receive the extraordinary gift of feeling "at home" wherever u r.
If u r at home, savour it.
If u r not, its time to ake a break.
5. Resolution; The understanding - Politics
All but the most innocent and sincere of us have a politician lurking somewhere in our minds. In fact the mind is political.
Soul
I am now looking at my own political mind especially with regards to partner.
Father, I am sleepy. Noticed that I have been sleep for past 2 weeks. This 2 days, I have to take a 5 min doze in the car.
Father, I have gained weight. I guess this show that my work stress level has reduced and yet I have been eating double since I started meditation. These 2 days didn't finish my breakfast cos the amount is bigger than my pre-meditation and stress period.
I will eat according to what my body need. The hatha yoga, swim and walk has helped me loads but its time to do my part to eat consciously as I am no longer facing stress at work. Input is more than output. Stop when I am full.
This mornin woke up, the motivation to do meditation is back, thanks to Cloud of Unknowing.
Osho
1. Issue - Silence
It will be easy for u to rest inside, to plumb the depths of your own inner silence to the point where it meets the silence of the universe.
Now is the time to come home to yourself. The understanding and insights that come to you in these moments will be manifested later on, in a more outgoing phase of ur life.
Soul
Yeap, I am encountering it. This morning was a nice one, I just go into silence.
Of cos, part of me says why no outer impact. Perhaps this card tell me jus the savour the silence and be patient.
This few days in my awareness - the conflicting thoughts I have of my partner. Me, wanting and not wanting, such confusion, no wonder such manifestation of rship that I don't want.
Jus looked at my face. It looks nice and firm and little lines and not puff up like previously. So, there is benefits.
2. Internal influence that u r unable to see - Flowering
Your blissfulness, your benediction, your ecstasy should not be contained within you like a seed. It should open like a flower and spread its fragrance to all and sundry - not only to the friends but to the strangers too. Not bothered whether it is accepted or not.
You might feel like a garden of flowers right now, showered with blessings from everywhere.
Spread your joy around for all to share.
Soul
Coincidentally I changed my blog name to Joy.
3. External influence of which you are aware - Consciousness
This flower that has become aware of itself need not come back to life because life is nothing but a school in which to learn. He has learned the lesson, he is now beyond delusions. He will move from the known for the first time not into the unknown, but into the unknowable.
The influence of mind is generally either ridiculous or oppressive and need to be mastered.
There is a deep clarity, detached, rooted in the deep stillness that lies at the core of ur being.
There is no desire to understand from the perspective of the mind - the understanding you have now is existential, whole, in harmony with the pulse of life itself.
Accept this great gift, and share it.
Soul
I am slowly but surely seeing the mechanics of my mind.
I used to be proud of my mind and then 2 years back, was sad about the shittiness of my mind. After meditation, I start to see that it does has strength and weakness too.
And now, I am seeing the mechanics of mind. The contradictary thoughts that causes confusion and resulted in manifestation that we don't want.
Today tot of d partnership in d drama. I tot, while its pleasurable tot, it is not correct timing as I wan to focus on hatha, moments later the tot just flew cos I didn't hold on to it. Mmmm, this is similar to my training for samyama meditation.
Looks like there is benefits.
4. What is needed for resolution - Existence
You are not accidental. Existence needs you. Once u r clean and clear, you can see tremendous love falling on you from all dimensions.
We forgot that we are part of Existence as we pursue our own private agenda and believe we must fight to get what we want.
Now is the time to look at whether u r allowing yourself to receive the extraordinary gift of feeling "at home" wherever u r.
If u r at home, savour it.
If u r not, its time to ake a break.
5. Resolution; The understanding - Politics
All but the most innocent and sincere of us have a politician lurking somewhere in our minds. In fact the mind is political.
Soul
I am now looking at my own political mind especially with regards to partner.
In this world, we only find that which we seek
May 10
Father, surprisingly yday Sathsang, I was laughing loads during quiet moment. On the 2nd meditation, I only have sadness to release and some fears.
Osho
Man lives by ego and woman by jealousy. Really jealousy is the passive form of ego, and ego is the active form of jealousy.
Love does not proclaim its gift, proclamation is the way of the ego.
Soul
Looks like I am still far behind and that's fine. When I acted beyond the normal compassion threshold, I would tell the other person that they are lucky or blessed to have met me.
(May 23 - This is becos I think God loves them so much to have send them to me. Whereas God doesn't love me as much, I am not as lucky as them as I have to struggle on my own. Aiyah, perhaps its because I got direct connection and hence God need not send anyone to save me.)
Osho
Everyone is responsible for what he is. And everyone has to begin his journey of transformation as an individual, on his own. No one else can walk for him. And once he is started on his journey, all the forces in existence come rushing to his aid.
In this world, we only find that which we seek. Our own desires and longings and prayers come back to us, just like our own sound echoes back by the hills and valley.
Soul
Tot of my passion to be a Transformational leader. The ball is rolling.
Osho
Outwardly people may complain against his condition, but inwardly he is not only reconciled to his condition, he is at ease with it. If by chance, his condition disappear, he will begins to miss it.
Soul
Yeap, loads of people is like d boy who cries wolves. Me included. Previously, I used to lament on challenges and all is gone, I got worried cos not sure of my worth/value and start to find new job to conquer. Those period is over.
(May 23 - a tot came to me. Perhaps I dont want people to help me as I am too egoic and wants to help myself. Perhaps, while I complain that no one seems to want to help me, I myself dont want to be helped. I do have an issue with value, when I achieve without others' people help, its my own and hence my value increased....as I m not helpless
Mmmm...another perspective...just the same as me without a partner. While one part of me wants a partner, the other part worries that I lose my standing, I lose my power, i lose my value as I may have to compromise my growth...)
Osho
When love fails to achieve intimacy at the subtler levels, it craves physical intimacy. Love can be so silent and subtle that physical distances in time and space don't matter for it; it remains even in aloneness.
Soul
Interesting
Osho
Victory and defeat in life are like the warp and woof with which a piece of cloth is woven. To wave the cloth of life, the warp and woof of victory and defeat, success and failure, gain and loss, right and wrong, are essential. Life is made of these opposites, of 2 sides of a coin.
It is possible that a defeat becomes a stepping stone to victory. It is also possible victory may serve as a jumping board to fall into abysmal defeat.
The ultimate judgement one's life depends not on a count of wins and losses, but on the final summation of one's whole life story.
In fact, one who is not ready to face defeats in life should give up all thoughts of victory.
Soul
Yeap, the journey ups and downs.
Last week, I tot I was done and yet I finally showed up.
Yeap, am ready to face defeat in pursuing my Passion in this lifetime.
Osho
Krishna accepts both ups and downs of life unconditionally, he is choiceless. Choicelessness is the door to bliss, ecstasy.
Lao Tzu says Be like the winds; move with the winds, go wherever they take you. And don't choose.
Soul
The wind is taking me to accept my path in following my Passion. Just follow.
May 10 Eve
Father, jus finished watching the drama. First tot, how nice to hav a partner that can protect u. Second tot, I am not meant to hav one cos like P says I am meant for greater things and besides I lost my power then. Third tot, is ok, just accept that for now I want a partner to take care of me.
Father, surprisingly yday Sathsang, I was laughing loads during quiet moment. On the 2nd meditation, I only have sadness to release and some fears.
Osho
Man lives by ego and woman by jealousy. Really jealousy is the passive form of ego, and ego is the active form of jealousy.
Love does not proclaim its gift, proclamation is the way of the ego.
Soul
Looks like I am still far behind and that's fine. When I acted beyond the normal compassion threshold, I would tell the other person that they are lucky or blessed to have met me.
(May 23 - This is becos I think God loves them so much to have send them to me. Whereas God doesn't love me as much, I am not as lucky as them as I have to struggle on my own. Aiyah, perhaps its because I got direct connection and hence God need not send anyone to save me.)
Osho
Everyone is responsible for what he is. And everyone has to begin his journey of transformation as an individual, on his own. No one else can walk for him. And once he is started on his journey, all the forces in existence come rushing to his aid.
In this world, we only find that which we seek. Our own desires and longings and prayers come back to us, just like our own sound echoes back by the hills and valley.
Soul
Tot of my passion to be a Transformational leader. The ball is rolling.
Osho
Outwardly people may complain against his condition, but inwardly he is not only reconciled to his condition, he is at ease with it. If by chance, his condition disappear, he will begins to miss it.
Soul
Yeap, loads of people is like d boy who cries wolves. Me included. Previously, I used to lament on challenges and all is gone, I got worried cos not sure of my worth/value and start to find new job to conquer. Those period is over.
(May 23 - a tot came to me. Perhaps I dont want people to help me as I am too egoic and wants to help myself. Perhaps, while I complain that no one seems to want to help me, I myself dont want to be helped. I do have an issue with value, when I achieve without others' people help, its my own and hence my value increased....as I m not helpless
Mmmm...another perspective...just the same as me without a partner. While one part of me wants a partner, the other part worries that I lose my standing, I lose my power, i lose my value as I may have to compromise my growth...)
Osho
When love fails to achieve intimacy at the subtler levels, it craves physical intimacy. Love can be so silent and subtle that physical distances in time and space don't matter for it; it remains even in aloneness.
Soul
Interesting
Osho
Victory and defeat in life are like the warp and woof with which a piece of cloth is woven. To wave the cloth of life, the warp and woof of victory and defeat, success and failure, gain and loss, right and wrong, are essential. Life is made of these opposites, of 2 sides of a coin.
It is possible that a defeat becomes a stepping stone to victory. It is also possible victory may serve as a jumping board to fall into abysmal defeat.
The ultimate judgement one's life depends not on a count of wins and losses, but on the final summation of one's whole life story.
In fact, one who is not ready to face defeats in life should give up all thoughts of victory.
Soul
Yeap, the journey ups and downs.
Last week, I tot I was done and yet I finally showed up.
Yeap, am ready to face defeat in pursuing my Passion in this lifetime.
Osho
Krishna accepts both ups and downs of life unconditionally, he is choiceless. Choicelessness is the door to bliss, ecstasy.
Lao Tzu says Be like the winds; move with the winds, go wherever they take you. And don't choose.
Soul
The wind is taking me to accept my path in following my Passion. Just follow.
May 10 Eve
Father, jus finished watching the drama. First tot, how nice to hav a partner that can protect u. Second tot, I am not meant to hav one cos like P says I am meant for greater things and besides I lost my power then. Third tot, is ok, just accept that for now I want a partner to take care of me.
I am connected
May 9
Father, U came thru. The last 1 week I was on a down mode, not sure of where I am, not sure of what I can offer, not sure of my connection to U. I must have been real down for You to send me Your team of Messenger.
Firstly, yday afternoon before I went to the Meetup, Sadhguru's msg was people looking for guru and my first tot was I can be but I immediately dismissed it. But when I went there, I tot, yeah I could be one. I have some good offering. These people are not shining thru and hence I think they still don't know themselves. I tot of my offering of Personal Self Discovery in the personal sense and not from universal sense. I think before we can know the Universe's Self, we must first know the Personal's self. Wit that, I start to re-energise and read 7thunder book.
Then suddenly tot of changing my blog name. I have use a word of what I don't want, that is suffering together with what I want, which is blessing.
The Cloud explains that this is the misconception and hence further propel me to think that perhaps my blog name is not right now. Besides if I wan to be a published author, I must come out.
Father, 12 May is the end of my 52 days of Six of Diamond period. And when I received the Osho card that says my Mind is finally mastered and Consciousness shines thru, I tot that is too much. How can it be, when I am feeling down and hardly connect during meditation, and only little joyfulness shines thru. The card even says that once I have Consciousness, all the politics in my mind will be dissolved.
Yeap, I am ready to come out. Joy Ong.
Just now when I was walking in the park, tot of my chronic disease that is there to facilitate my role of approving and loving myself and to guide others to do so as well.
Father, as usual, you are the real Strategist. You must really love me for You to give me the impetus to approve myself. You must also think that I can have the connection wit You to guide others to approve themselves too.
Afternoon
J is 8 of diamond. I have so many 8 of diamonds with me.
1. My close friend - fellow journey
2. My staff
3. My fellow meditator
4. My close friend.
5. My colleague.
Father, U came thru. The last 1 week I was on a down mode, not sure of where I am, not sure of what I can offer, not sure of my connection to U. I must have been real down for You to send me Your team of Messenger.
Firstly, yday afternoon before I went to the Meetup, Sadhguru's msg was people looking for guru and my first tot was I can be but I immediately dismissed it. But when I went there, I tot, yeah I could be one. I have some good offering. These people are not shining thru and hence I think they still don't know themselves. I tot of my offering of Personal Self Discovery in the personal sense and not from universal sense. I think before we can know the Universe's Self, we must first know the Personal's self. Wit that, I start to re-energise and read 7thunder book.
Then suddenly tot of changing my blog name. I have use a word of what I don't want, that is suffering together with what I want, which is blessing.
The Cloud explains that this is the misconception and hence further propel me to think that perhaps my blog name is not right now. Besides if I wan to be a published author, I must come out.
Father, 12 May is the end of my 52 days of Six of Diamond period. And when I received the Osho card that says my Mind is finally mastered and Consciousness shines thru, I tot that is too much. How can it be, when I am feeling down and hardly connect during meditation, and only little joyfulness shines thru. The card even says that once I have Consciousness, all the politics in my mind will be dissolved.
Yeap, I am ready to come out. Joy Ong.
Just now when I was walking in the park, tot of my chronic disease that is there to facilitate my role of approving and loving myself and to guide others to do so as well.
Father, as usual, you are the real Strategist. You must really love me for You to give me the impetus to approve myself. You must also think that I can have the connection wit You to guide others to approve themselves too.
Afternoon
J is 8 of diamond. I have so many 8 of diamonds with me.
1. My close friend - fellow journey
2. My staff
3. My fellow meditator
4. My close friend.
5. My colleague.
Happiness means to be truly ourselves; to achieve our Destiny
May 8
Meetup conducted. There were 3 persons that has personal offerings.
1. Hatha Yoga and Pranic Healer
2. Physical Wellness
3. Expression via dance.
Listening to them, I sense that they don't know who they are yet. Tot of my start up services - Self Discovery.
The Cloud of Unknowing
Why meditate?
To come to the full self-knowledge which is here called humility. And to be happy.
The work itself teaches us the true meaning of happiness and the necessity for abandoning all our false ideas about happiness. Happiness is not merely the satisfaction of our desires. It is the transcendence of all desire.
Happiness consists in realising the essential goodness of our nature and then in being good.
Goodness consists of much more than moral behaviour; it is the fulfillment of our nature. A good shoemaker, for eg, is one who makes the best shoes possible with the leather he has been provided with. So, the life of a good person, according to Aristotle, does not need pleasure as a sort of appendage but contains pleasure in itself.
The goal of life is to become fully alive, fully and truly ourselves. In doing that we discover we are made to be happy.
Soul
That's is exactly how I feel. I always believe we are meant to be happy and in order to do that we can accept whatever state we are in, be it 'good' or 'bad'. And by discovering ourself, knowing and following our Passion, we can then be happy.
Father, thank you. I was bit down recently and not doing my practice out of joy. While Sadhguru did ask me not to judge and preservere, part of me tot that is jus him wanting me to continue on his path rather than my own calling. While I preservere becos of discipline, my heart was not in it. Guess that's why u brought in The Cloud of Unknowing, a break of 8 years since I last read. Infact, I didn't read the front text cos I was not meditating back then. What I did was read the poem and cry non-stop. Most time, didn't even understand why I cry cos at time I don't even know the meanings. It has always been a mysterious book to me. Something that help me to pass through my depression, my darkest period.
I always believe we are meant to be happy. That's why I cannot accept that God wants us to suffer. That's part of the reason why I don't like religion that quotes we are here to suffer and to be grateful that we live.
When I discover it was my unconscious that was causing unhappiness, I open all doors. That's why I says that only when we are unhappy/suffering, we would take action to explore and discover to root cause and undo it; hence my blog sufferingisblessing.
Mmm, recall V asked me to change the name of blog to make it sound positive cos he cannot believe suffering is blessing. I named this blog suffering cos I tot this would be the most likely google word if I want to get help. That was 2 years back. Now perhaps I wan a change.
Below is some names I tot of:
1. Happiness is our Right
2. Meant for Happiness
3. HappyJoyJoy.
4. Bring back Joy
5. Joyfulness
6. Right to be Happy.
The Cloud of Unknowing
Christianity has often equated blessedness with suffering or a sense of sinful unworthiness.
Even today when the religion's capacity to manipulate guilt is greatly diminished, there is a strong inner resistance to accepting the freedom and availability of happiness. Perhaps we wonder, today especially, if we have the right to be happy. With our heightened and constantly stimulated awareness of the problems and tragedies of the world around us, it can seem that if we are happy, we are depriving someone elese of their happiness. The ego forgets that there is more than enough bliss to go around. Meditation frees us to share in the boundlessness of divine joy.
Happiness is fullness and although we all have different capacities, my happiness can neither diminish nor be diminished by your happiness.
And in any case, what use are we to others if we cannot share their problems and face our own with an essential happiness. We do not so much have a right to be happy, rather we have a duty to be happy. It is a duty written into our deepest nature.
Soul
Father, how can this be??? How can I be pondering about an issue and the next moment I am reading it.
Firstly You corrected my perception on sufferingisblessing. And then even give me a stronger version than my title "right to be happy"
I have always prescribe that people be happy cos we owe it to ourselves.
The duty to be happy is similar to Sadhguru's msg about it is a crime that we are not joyful.
So, definitely a call for me to change my blog name.
A tot came to me. To call my blog; Joy Ong.
2nd tot nope cos I don't want to be known.
3rd tot but u have always been described as Happy Go Lucky person. So, the name Joy is correct.
Father, there is a persistent tot for me to call the blog Joy Ong but I am afraid. I am not sure about this.
A voice came, but if u afraid to come out, how can u be the Transformational Leader in 2 years time? Joy Ong is a good branding and u can start ur own column.
Another tot, remember a new potential meditator called you by the name Joy and at first u were stunned and moments later u tot that's you, so apt name cos u now so joyful.
Mmm, Ong is such a common name in this world. Even today, met a IndianThai with surname Ong. Beside I always call myself with my given name, so don't have to change now.
The Cloud of Unknowing
Contemplation is a movement from a lay to a religious state. No one life is totally active or totally contemplative and the only specific he would take his book away from are those who are reading it only for curiousity.
At the end of the book when he discusses the signs that have drawn u to this work, he says basically that you are called if you feel a serious attraction to it.
Then he says, if you do begin, do not give up because many people do give up just at the point of making a breakthrough.
Soul
I cried and cried when I saw this. Jus half an hour ago, I says Father brought me this book to get me to stay motivated on meditation. And now the message is crystalised, carved in stone.
Somehow, I am connected and You came when U know I needed help. This book was written in 14th century and yet it called to me. And I also thanked 7thunder card for telling me in order to resolve my karmic baggage, I need to pursue a spiritual path. And this given me the course and I am in it.
This book was published in 1997. That's the year I started on the journey.
Father, I will rename my blog; Joy Ong. I will be a Transformational leader in 2 years time. I will publish my book. Like the CEO says, to plan for my future.
Amen.
Meetup conducted. There were 3 persons that has personal offerings.
1. Hatha Yoga and Pranic Healer
2. Physical Wellness
3. Expression via dance.
Listening to them, I sense that they don't know who they are yet. Tot of my start up services - Self Discovery.
The Cloud of Unknowing
Why meditate?
To come to the full self-knowledge which is here called humility. And to be happy.
The work itself teaches us the true meaning of happiness and the necessity for abandoning all our false ideas about happiness. Happiness is not merely the satisfaction of our desires. It is the transcendence of all desire.
Happiness consists in realising the essential goodness of our nature and then in being good.
Goodness consists of much more than moral behaviour; it is the fulfillment of our nature. A good shoemaker, for eg, is one who makes the best shoes possible with the leather he has been provided with. So, the life of a good person, according to Aristotle, does not need pleasure as a sort of appendage but contains pleasure in itself.
The goal of life is to become fully alive, fully and truly ourselves. In doing that we discover we are made to be happy.
Soul
That's is exactly how I feel. I always believe we are meant to be happy and in order to do that we can accept whatever state we are in, be it 'good' or 'bad'. And by discovering ourself, knowing and following our Passion, we can then be happy.
Father, thank you. I was bit down recently and not doing my practice out of joy. While Sadhguru did ask me not to judge and preservere, part of me tot that is jus him wanting me to continue on his path rather than my own calling. While I preservere becos of discipline, my heart was not in it. Guess that's why u brought in The Cloud of Unknowing, a break of 8 years since I last read. Infact, I didn't read the front text cos I was not meditating back then. What I did was read the poem and cry non-stop. Most time, didn't even understand why I cry cos at time I don't even know the meanings. It has always been a mysterious book to me. Something that help me to pass through my depression, my darkest period.
I always believe we are meant to be happy. That's why I cannot accept that God wants us to suffer. That's part of the reason why I don't like religion that quotes we are here to suffer and to be grateful that we live.
When I discover it was my unconscious that was causing unhappiness, I open all doors. That's why I says that only when we are unhappy/suffering, we would take action to explore and discover to root cause and undo it; hence my blog sufferingisblessing.
Mmm, recall V asked me to change the name of blog to make it sound positive cos he cannot believe suffering is blessing. I named this blog suffering cos I tot this would be the most likely google word if I want to get help. That was 2 years back. Now perhaps I wan a change.
Below is some names I tot of:
1. Happiness is our Right
2. Meant for Happiness
3. HappyJoyJoy.
4. Bring back Joy
5. Joyfulness
6. Right to be Happy.
The Cloud of Unknowing
Christianity has often equated blessedness with suffering or a sense of sinful unworthiness.
Even today when the religion's capacity to manipulate guilt is greatly diminished, there is a strong inner resistance to accepting the freedom and availability of happiness. Perhaps we wonder, today especially, if we have the right to be happy. With our heightened and constantly stimulated awareness of the problems and tragedies of the world around us, it can seem that if we are happy, we are depriving someone elese of their happiness. The ego forgets that there is more than enough bliss to go around. Meditation frees us to share in the boundlessness of divine joy.
Happiness is fullness and although we all have different capacities, my happiness can neither diminish nor be diminished by your happiness.
And in any case, what use are we to others if we cannot share their problems and face our own with an essential happiness. We do not so much have a right to be happy, rather we have a duty to be happy. It is a duty written into our deepest nature.
Soul
Father, how can this be??? How can I be pondering about an issue and the next moment I am reading it.
Firstly You corrected my perception on sufferingisblessing. And then even give me a stronger version than my title "right to be happy"
I have always prescribe that people be happy cos we owe it to ourselves.
The duty to be happy is similar to Sadhguru's msg about it is a crime that we are not joyful.
So, definitely a call for me to change my blog name.
A tot came to me. To call my blog; Joy Ong.
2nd tot nope cos I don't want to be known.
3rd tot but u have always been described as Happy Go Lucky person. So, the name Joy is correct.
Father, there is a persistent tot for me to call the blog Joy Ong but I am afraid. I am not sure about this.
A voice came, but if u afraid to come out, how can u be the Transformational Leader in 2 years time? Joy Ong is a good branding and u can start ur own column.
Another tot, remember a new potential meditator called you by the name Joy and at first u were stunned and moments later u tot that's you, so apt name cos u now so joyful.
Mmm, Ong is such a common name in this world. Even today, met a IndianThai with surname Ong. Beside I always call myself with my given name, so don't have to change now.
The Cloud of Unknowing
Contemplation is a movement from a lay to a religious state. No one life is totally active or totally contemplative and the only specific he would take his book away from are those who are reading it only for curiousity.
At the end of the book when he discusses the signs that have drawn u to this work, he says basically that you are called if you feel a serious attraction to it.
Then he says, if you do begin, do not give up because many people do give up just at the point of making a breakthrough.
Soul
I cried and cried when I saw this. Jus half an hour ago, I says Father brought me this book to get me to stay motivated on meditation. And now the message is crystalised, carved in stone.
Somehow, I am connected and You came when U know I needed help. This book was written in 14th century and yet it called to me. And I also thanked 7thunder card for telling me in order to resolve my karmic baggage, I need to pursue a spiritual path. And this given me the course and I am in it.
This book was published in 1997. That's the year I started on the journey.
Father, I will rename my blog; Joy Ong. I will be a Transformational leader in 2 years time. I will publish my book. Like the CEO says, to plan for my future.
Amen.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Clarity once projection is revealed
May 7
Soul
Now I know why S trigger both P and W's defense mechanism. Frankly both P and S are generally quite confident and hence for them to be triggered, there must be something above norm.
S has crossed the normal parameters and he does so becos he doesn't seem to have any. Can't blame him, he tot he was back in the past whereby the boss he reported to are all dumb and expect him to their thinking for them.
As for me, I was coloured by my past as I too faced similar situation as S and was projecting my past hurt. Its only when I was able to disidentify and know its not about me that things become clear and I become neutrel and is able to see P and W as per norm. And now I worked wit S closely, even he crossed my parameter. If he can crossed the parameter of his superior, what's more that of his peer. I also saw his writing, all words are not consistent and reflect an immature handwriting and a mind that is running wild. I have to draw the line and in anger told him to follow instruction. I asked him once I made a decision and he comes back to question it. If only 2 out of 10 times, he is right, would I be appreciative? He says nope and I be irritated with him.
Few minutes later, I step back cos I want him to continue thinking and says follow me when it comes to human resource. Follow me not becos I am his superior but becos I have better ideas.
Alas, I have most of the pix. Remember whenever we feel for situation not involving us, there must be some personal identification cos otherwise we be neutrel and can see it objectively.
Soul
Now I know why S trigger both P and W's defense mechanism. Frankly both P and S are generally quite confident and hence for them to be triggered, there must be something above norm.
S has crossed the normal parameters and he does so becos he doesn't seem to have any. Can't blame him, he tot he was back in the past whereby the boss he reported to are all dumb and expect him to their thinking for them.
As for me, I was coloured by my past as I too faced similar situation as S and was projecting my past hurt. Its only when I was able to disidentify and know its not about me that things become clear and I become neutrel and is able to see P and W as per norm. And now I worked wit S closely, even he crossed my parameter. If he can crossed the parameter of his superior, what's more that of his peer. I also saw his writing, all words are not consistent and reflect an immature handwriting and a mind that is running wild. I have to draw the line and in anger told him to follow instruction. I asked him once I made a decision and he comes back to question it. If only 2 out of 10 times, he is right, would I be appreciative? He says nope and I be irritated with him.
Few minutes later, I step back cos I want him to continue thinking and says follow me when it comes to human resource. Follow me not becos I am his superior but becos I have better ideas.
Alas, I have most of the pix. Remember whenever we feel for situation not involving us, there must be some personal identification cos otherwise we be neutrel and can see it objectively.
Cloud of Unknowing (2)
May 6 Evenin
Father, I noticed I am tired by Thursday nite. At times becos of having Friday off, I have to rush out a few things and it tires me. Guess, I still haven't learn to watch my breathe.
The Cloud of Unknowing
Meditation is the work we do to realise the state of contemplation which is our true state, our true nature.
We enter into contemplative experience when the movements of mind - reason, memory, imagination and all their compounds - begin to settle into silence.
However simple it may sound, it is hard work. Its work consists in the way we deal with distraction, we push them below us.
We are drawn to this work of contemplation by the powerful attraction of divine love: we are called.
This means that the hard work of the journey, the battle with our egotism and its fecund capacity for illusion and self-deception, its self-centredness and possessiveness or clinging, is all undergone in a relational context of love.
However solitary or 'singular' the work may be, we are never wholly alone in it.
If the human spirit is in some way an reflection or image of the divine, then the work of contemplation re-emerges the image with its original - ie the soul is oned with God. The experience is one of falling and being in love.
We are told the true contemplative becomes a nicer, more likeable person. Behind this general improvement in our personality is the mysterious process of divinization which creates in the individual a personal radiance or magnetism, which is held in place by the deeply-rooted humility of self-knowledge.
You cannot be unaware of becoming a better person - more tolerant and patient and more compassionate - if u do this work. Your improvement will take u by surprise but you wil be unable to be proud of it or attribute it to yourself.
Soul
Yeap, that describe my experience.
The Cloud of Unknowing
The usefulness of meditation is not restricted only to the meditator. Others benefit too, both the living and the dead. It is valuable as part of our spiritual growth but that it is essential for the growth and healing of our evolving planet.
God cannot be known by thought, we can know God by love.
Inner work of contemplation is nothing less than an act and a growing experience of love.
Father, I noticed I am tired by Thursday nite. At times becos of having Friday off, I have to rush out a few things and it tires me. Guess, I still haven't learn to watch my breathe.
The Cloud of Unknowing
Meditation is the work we do to realise the state of contemplation which is our true state, our true nature.
We enter into contemplative experience when the movements of mind - reason, memory, imagination and all their compounds - begin to settle into silence.
However simple it may sound, it is hard work. Its work consists in the way we deal with distraction, we push them below us.
We are drawn to this work of contemplation by the powerful attraction of divine love: we are called.
This means that the hard work of the journey, the battle with our egotism and its fecund capacity for illusion and self-deception, its self-centredness and possessiveness or clinging, is all undergone in a relational context of love.
However solitary or 'singular' the work may be, we are never wholly alone in it.
If the human spirit is in some way an reflection or image of the divine, then the work of contemplation re-emerges the image with its original - ie the soul is oned with God. The experience is one of falling and being in love.
We are told the true contemplative becomes a nicer, more likeable person. Behind this general improvement in our personality is the mysterious process of divinization which creates in the individual a personal radiance or magnetism, which is held in place by the deeply-rooted humility of self-knowledge.
You cannot be unaware of becoming a better person - more tolerant and patient and more compassionate - if u do this work. Your improvement will take u by surprise but you wil be unable to be proud of it or attribute it to yourself.
Soul
Yeap, that describe my experience.
The Cloud of Unknowing
The usefulness of meditation is not restricted only to the meditator. Others benefit too, both the living and the dead. It is valuable as part of our spiritual growth but that it is essential for the growth and healing of our evolving planet.
God cannot be known by thought, we can know God by love.
Inner work of contemplation is nothing less than an act and a growing experience of love.
Approve and love them
May 6
Mmm, have tot of d Fresh Grad Human Resource. Earlier rejected her cos she looks fat. In our industry, looks matter. And also, she is fresh grad and will leave after getting experience. I will downgrade it to HR & Admin Asst.
Yday evening, after my experience wit S, I realised he is not detailed orientated and not suitable for human resource. So, if that is his weakness, then I will get someone wit good foundation. What S has is good mgm. He is good in IT and Admin and he is responsible and initiative.
So, will take this chance to revamp the human resource section. Previously P also was better in Admin rather than human resource and she doesn't have a human resource degree. So, will start afresh. Even if d gal leave after 1 year, also ok cos by then the foundation is set. Apart from leave, I also wan d gal to do bcc time sheet.
Yday, saw d email that P wrote to CEO. CEO send it to me despite me saying no need. I didn't wan cos I don't wan to jeapordise my good tot of P. Alas, I read thru and noted is quite innocent. Am glad the stand I took was to protect her. Alas, my resolution is jus to be with them, see them for their strength, helped them in their weakness and enjoy their company. Jus give them the approval they want and I have. My approval for them is still the same eventhough I now have a new addition to approve. Even where I now saw their mistakes being exposed, my approval of them didn't change.
Osho
What we see in others is only a reflection; others only serve as mirrors to us. We see in others only that which we want to see; infact we see what we are. We do nothing but project ourselves on the world.
We not only want to possess things, we also want to possess men and women. And if we have our way, we would possess even the moon and the stars. We crave to monopolise love. Because we do not know what love is, we are prone to think that if it is shared with many it will disperse and dwindle and die. But the truth is that the more love is shared, the more it grows. And when we try to restrict it, to control it - which is utterly unnatural and arbitrary - it dries up and eventually dies.
Soul
This is reflective of my staff case. They tot wit new addition, my approval for them will wane and hence they were fighting to ensure I give less to S.
My case, I restrict cos I worry that if I give, there is no return and I wan to save up for myself. Alas, now I am opening up despite earlier felt hurt abt the politicking among my staff and wanted to pull back. I am glad I didn't pull back.
I am back.
Osho
Up till now, mankind has thought of love in terms of petty relationship -relationship between two persons. We have yet to know love that is a state of mind, and not just relationship.
Soul
I am one of them. But now I know of love for oneself. I am feeling my love for myself.
Osho
If I am loving, if love is the state of my being, then it is not possible to confine my love to a single person, or even a few persons. When love enters my life and becomes my nature, then I am capable of loving any number of people. Then it is not a question of one or many; then I am loving and my love reaches everywhere.
Soul
This reminds me of Sadhguru's initiation of "can u be a mother to thousand of children?"; "can u love thousand of children?"
Of cos, in my case, first time in IE, I slept cos I tot that's so fake n I cannot identify wit it. Second time in Shoonya, I was crying cos I can't love all. Third time in volunteering IE, I find myself saying it is possible to happen. Of cos, not with me yet.
Osho
If I am loving to one and unloving to all others, even my love for the one will wither away. It is impossible to be loving to one and unloving to the rest. If someone is loving just for and hour everyday and remains unloving for the rest of the time, his lovelessness will eventually smother his small love and turn his life into a wastedland of hate and hostilituy.
Soul
Tot of CEO, so much love for son and husband and little for others. I tot is a case need to balance. But this looks like may not be. Yea woh, despite her love, her rship wit them not tip top.
How about me? I like to think m generally loving to all but I haven't been that lovin to my family. I need some balance.
Osho
We cannot think of love as anything different from a rship between 2 persons + a man and woman. We cannot conceive that love is a state of being, it is not directed to individuals. Love, like air, sunshine and rain, is available to all without any distinctions.
It is symbolic to say that Draupadi had five husbands, it meant that one could love five, fifty, five thousand people at the same time. There is no end to love's power and capacity.
Soul
I jus experience it wit my 4 staff.
Soul
Alas, 7thunder is a guide to use when we are facing conflcit, downturn, indecision, overwhelming/confusing situation. We need to experience on our own before we refer to guide. So, not sure I be a reader, but I will learn enough to use it as a good guide during stumbling block. But not use it for individual reading purpose.
Mmm, have tot of d Fresh Grad Human Resource. Earlier rejected her cos she looks fat. In our industry, looks matter. And also, she is fresh grad and will leave after getting experience. I will downgrade it to HR & Admin Asst.
Yday evening, after my experience wit S, I realised he is not detailed orientated and not suitable for human resource. So, if that is his weakness, then I will get someone wit good foundation. What S has is good mgm. He is good in IT and Admin and he is responsible and initiative.
So, will take this chance to revamp the human resource section. Previously P also was better in Admin rather than human resource and she doesn't have a human resource degree. So, will start afresh. Even if d gal leave after 1 year, also ok cos by then the foundation is set. Apart from leave, I also wan d gal to do bcc time sheet.
Yday, saw d email that P wrote to CEO. CEO send it to me despite me saying no need. I didn't wan cos I don't wan to jeapordise my good tot of P. Alas, I read thru and noted is quite innocent. Am glad the stand I took was to protect her. Alas, my resolution is jus to be with them, see them for their strength, helped them in their weakness and enjoy their company. Jus give them the approval they want and I have. My approval for them is still the same eventhough I now have a new addition to approve. Even where I now saw their mistakes being exposed, my approval of them didn't change.
Osho
What we see in others is only a reflection; others only serve as mirrors to us. We see in others only that which we want to see; infact we see what we are. We do nothing but project ourselves on the world.
We not only want to possess things, we also want to possess men and women. And if we have our way, we would possess even the moon and the stars. We crave to monopolise love. Because we do not know what love is, we are prone to think that if it is shared with many it will disperse and dwindle and die. But the truth is that the more love is shared, the more it grows. And when we try to restrict it, to control it - which is utterly unnatural and arbitrary - it dries up and eventually dies.
Soul
This is reflective of my staff case. They tot wit new addition, my approval for them will wane and hence they were fighting to ensure I give less to S.
My case, I restrict cos I worry that if I give, there is no return and I wan to save up for myself. Alas, now I am opening up despite earlier felt hurt abt the politicking among my staff and wanted to pull back. I am glad I didn't pull back.
I am back.
Osho
Up till now, mankind has thought of love in terms of petty relationship -relationship between two persons. We have yet to know love that is a state of mind, and not just relationship.
Soul
I am one of them. But now I know of love for oneself. I am feeling my love for myself.
Osho
If I am loving, if love is the state of my being, then it is not possible to confine my love to a single person, or even a few persons. When love enters my life and becomes my nature, then I am capable of loving any number of people. Then it is not a question of one or many; then I am loving and my love reaches everywhere.
Soul
This reminds me of Sadhguru's initiation of "can u be a mother to thousand of children?"; "can u love thousand of children?"
Of cos, in my case, first time in IE, I slept cos I tot that's so fake n I cannot identify wit it. Second time in Shoonya, I was crying cos I can't love all. Third time in volunteering IE, I find myself saying it is possible to happen. Of cos, not with me yet.
Osho
If I am loving to one and unloving to all others, even my love for the one will wither away. It is impossible to be loving to one and unloving to the rest. If someone is loving just for and hour everyday and remains unloving for the rest of the time, his lovelessness will eventually smother his small love and turn his life into a wastedland of hate and hostilituy.
Soul
Tot of CEO, so much love for son and husband and little for others. I tot is a case need to balance. But this looks like may not be. Yea woh, despite her love, her rship wit them not tip top.
How about me? I like to think m generally loving to all but I haven't been that lovin to my family. I need some balance.
Osho
We cannot think of love as anything different from a rship between 2 persons + a man and woman. We cannot conceive that love is a state of being, it is not directed to individuals. Love, like air, sunshine and rain, is available to all without any distinctions.
It is symbolic to say that Draupadi had five husbands, it meant that one could love five, fifty, five thousand people at the same time. There is no end to love's power and capacity.
Soul
I jus experience it wit my 4 staff.
Soul
Alas, 7thunder is a guide to use when we are facing conflcit, downturn, indecision, overwhelming/confusing situation. We need to experience on our own before we refer to guide. So, not sure I be a reader, but I will learn enough to use it as a good guide during stumbling block. But not use it for individual reading purpose.
Cloud of Unknowing
May 5 Even
Cloud of Unknowing
In the experience of meditation, we eventually come up against a brick wall, which the Cloud wisely prepares us for. Up against this barrier, we discover the sorrow of our isolated individuality, or being separated individuals. But if we perservere, we can break through the wall into the joy of boundless being, as individuals indivisible from the whole.
Soul
In 2002, this book accompany me in my darkest moment, the days of depression.
In 2010, after one and half year of meditation. I came to a brickwall. The course is complete and now is up to me. This few weeks, am feeling down, was on high for one month after a month of samyama. Even mornin meditation is so routine, don't think I connect cos no laughter at all and at times felt the hatha yoga a chore. But I preservere.
Guess, this book came when I am encountering my second brickwall.
Cloud of Unknowing
In the experience of meditation, we eventually come up against a brick wall, which the Cloud wisely prepares us for. Up against this barrier, we discover the sorrow of our isolated individuality, or being separated individuals. But if we perservere, we can break through the wall into the joy of boundless being, as individuals indivisible from the whole.
Soul
In 2002, this book accompany me in my darkest moment, the days of depression.
In 2010, after one and half year of meditation. I came to a brickwall. The course is complete and now is up to me. This few weeks, am feeling down, was on high for one month after a month of samyama. Even mornin meditation is so routine, don't think I connect cos no laughter at all and at times felt the hatha yoga a chore. But I preservere.
Guess, this book came when I am encountering my second brickwall.
Approved and love themselves
May 5
Father, read the Cloud of Unknowing, brought tears into my eyes. Previously, I just cry and cry and don't really know what is about. Now with meditation, I know. Coincidentally, the first poem talks about 4 level of being a human;
1. Common
2. Special
3. Singular
4. Perfect.
I think when I read it, my path was under the Special level and now m progressing to the Singular level.
The issue on politic among my staff. They jus seeking my approval and when they tot my approval may be waned by others having more of my attention, they start to attack the person they perceive having more. The crux is that if they approve and love themselves, they don't need my approval and hence would not need to attack anyone. Or the contrary can happen, they won't have to suppress themselves so that people like them.
Father, thanks. I m learning from this episode. So, the strategy is just to give them approval so they don't need to seek approval or to reduce others approval level.
Its like my insight of, if u can climb up, u do that but if u cannot, u push people down. In the end the strategy is just to make sure u have enough.
I myself mostly use climb up, unless my weakness is being triggered and then I unconsciously push others down.
I will be conscious. To do that give the approval I need myself.
I noticed that I tend to judge myself critically and found me lacking if I think m not actng from my higher self. Yday, was judging myself and then a tot came; aiyah GM attack others so much and she can live with it and here I unintentionally attack cos I want to help another colleague, I can accept myself. Its ok, I approve and love myself. After saying this a couple of times, my mind judgement of myself stopped.
Osho
To be humble is to be on the first leg of the journey to purity. The humble has yet to be pure, he is on his way to it. One cannot be pure without being humble, because there is no greater impurity than ego. One who is full of ego can never be pure.
So humility is not enough, it only sets u on the road to purity that is innocence.
Soul
I approve myself. I am not going to be arrogant to think I have arrived and hence I don't have to judge myself when I don't act pure. I am just humble and jus embarking on the road. The main thing is that I jus want to be aware.
Osho
Blessed are the poor in spirit. One is so poor, so empty within that there is no space left for any impurity to exist.
Be humble and pure, poor and empty and the Kingdom of God is yours. If you lose everything, you will gain everything. If u save anything, u will lose everything.
Soul
A tot came on my blog of sufferingisblessing. U only surrender and be humble if u r in suffering mode or overwhelmed by greatness of nature. But chances of personal suffering is much higher. It is only when u suffer, u want to find a solution and mostly it entail change of behaviour, ie drop of ego.
Osho
A person who imposes humility on himself, who cultivates and practices humility, will always seem to be humble.
But the humility that comes naturally, that is not imposed nor cultivated, can be bold enough to be impolity if need be. Only a humble person can have the courage to be utterly impolite. Only a man of love can afford to be hard-hitting if need be.
There is no effort to become anything - humble or arrogant.
Soul
I tot of if u love urself truly, u don't have to seek love from others. So u r freed to act as u wish to be even if it displeases others.
Father, read the Cloud of Unknowing, brought tears into my eyes. Previously, I just cry and cry and don't really know what is about. Now with meditation, I know. Coincidentally, the first poem talks about 4 level of being a human;
1. Common
2. Special
3. Singular
4. Perfect.
I think when I read it, my path was under the Special level and now m progressing to the Singular level.
The issue on politic among my staff. They jus seeking my approval and when they tot my approval may be waned by others having more of my attention, they start to attack the person they perceive having more. The crux is that if they approve and love themselves, they don't need my approval and hence would not need to attack anyone. Or the contrary can happen, they won't have to suppress themselves so that people like them.
Father, thanks. I m learning from this episode. So, the strategy is just to give them approval so they don't need to seek approval or to reduce others approval level.
Its like my insight of, if u can climb up, u do that but if u cannot, u push people down. In the end the strategy is just to make sure u have enough.
I myself mostly use climb up, unless my weakness is being triggered and then I unconsciously push others down.
I will be conscious. To do that give the approval I need myself.
I noticed that I tend to judge myself critically and found me lacking if I think m not actng from my higher self. Yday, was judging myself and then a tot came; aiyah GM attack others so much and she can live with it and here I unintentionally attack cos I want to help another colleague, I can accept myself. Its ok, I approve and love myself. After saying this a couple of times, my mind judgement of myself stopped.
Osho
To be humble is to be on the first leg of the journey to purity. The humble has yet to be pure, he is on his way to it. One cannot be pure without being humble, because there is no greater impurity than ego. One who is full of ego can never be pure.
So humility is not enough, it only sets u on the road to purity that is innocence.
Soul
I approve myself. I am not going to be arrogant to think I have arrived and hence I don't have to judge myself when I don't act pure. I am just humble and jus embarking on the road. The main thing is that I jus want to be aware.
Osho
Blessed are the poor in spirit. One is so poor, so empty within that there is no space left for any impurity to exist.
Be humble and pure, poor and empty and the Kingdom of God is yours. If you lose everything, you will gain everything. If u save anything, u will lose everything.
Soul
A tot came on my blog of sufferingisblessing. U only surrender and be humble if u r in suffering mode or overwhelmed by greatness of nature. But chances of personal suffering is much higher. It is only when u suffer, u want to find a solution and mostly it entail change of behaviour, ie drop of ego.
Osho
A person who imposes humility on himself, who cultivates and practices humility, will always seem to be humble.
But the humility that comes naturally, that is not imposed nor cultivated, can be bold enough to be impolity if need be. Only a humble person can have the courage to be utterly impolite. Only a man of love can afford to be hard-hitting if need be.
There is no effort to become anything - humble or arrogant.
Soul
I tot of if u love urself truly, u don't have to seek love from others. So u r freed to act as u wish to be even if it displeases others.
Approve and love myself
May 4 Evenin
S is Pluto card to me. He is to help me change. S encounter set back in his career. S is being resented by others who found him to be too smart, making others look down. S is also worry about being rejected and tries to win them over.
This is further emphasised when I had an surprised counselling session wit a colleague. Unable to say no to others, causing overwhelm and burnt out. Unable to say no to the achievement mode in her. Unwilling to let go of the professional standard despite it hurting her. How can she expect others to say yes to her, when she can't say yes to herself. Why can't she love herself.
Alas, this is me too.
Today I learned that I approve and love myself. So what if others back stab me, resent me, reject me, didn't acknowledge me. Main thing is just for me to approve and love myself.
When we don't approve ourself, we bent backward and lost ourself. We tot we gained much, but in the end we lost more than we gained. We lost our courage to be ourself. We lost the right to approve ourself. And we won't act in our best interest.
S is Pluto card to me. He is to help me change. S encounter set back in his career. S is being resented by others who found him to be too smart, making others look down. S is also worry about being rejected and tries to win them over.
This is further emphasised when I had an surprised counselling session wit a colleague. Unable to say no to others, causing overwhelm and burnt out. Unable to say no to the achievement mode in her. Unwilling to let go of the professional standard despite it hurting her. How can she expect others to say yes to her, when she can't say yes to herself. Why can't she love herself.
Alas, this is me too.
Today I learned that I approve and love myself. So what if others back stab me, resent me, reject me, didn't acknowledge me. Main thing is just for me to approve and love myself.
When we don't approve ourself, we bent backward and lost ourself. We tot we gained much, but in the end we lost more than we gained. We lost our courage to be ourself. We lost the right to approve ourself. And we won't act in our best interest.
Projection of past pain
May 4
Father, I couldn't immediately switched my mind off when I go to bed yesterday. It is one of those rare occassion that I didn't sleep within 5 min. I was lazing at least half an hour and then I told my mind to switch off and it finally did after 15 min.
I was still thinking of how to resolve d matter. While Sadhguru's msg that peer jealousy will always happen with our downline help assuage my guilt but it did not give me answer in resolving it. Of cos, both gurus resolved it by proving to all the reasons why their fav disciple is selected but not sure if it be taken positively cos it will only make their defense mechanism increase.
Father, I guess while I can understand P for creating d conflict, I still cannot understand W's resentment. Part of me is angry at her. I expect her to be more considerate knowing S's background. I never hear her complain abt S, until the promotion. She was even ok with the confirmation increment.
Osho
The issue
Fighting
One moment it was there, another moment, another moment it is gone. And for this simple moment, how much fuss we make! How much ambition, struggle, conflict, anger, just for this small moment. We create so much fuss; fighting, hurting each other, trying to possess, trying to boss, trying to dominate - all that politics.
Wearing an armour, ready detonate if anybody so much as brushes up against them. In the background we see the shadowy movie that plays in this man"s mind - two figures fighting for a castle.
An explosive temper or a smouldering rage often masks a deep feeling of pain. We think that if we frighten people away, we can avoid being hurt even more.
Soul
The pain I also felt on behalf of S is my pain. I have encountered his situation before. While I did fight back, the pain of rejection, the pain that I have to prove myself, and etc got to me. Perhaps the tail end pain and I am projecting it on P and W as I see them as the one who hurt me previously. I was so misunderstood. I suffer in silence and keep to myself. Of cos, in d end, they know what I am but that's after I am gone. I felt d hurt that simmer inside.
I was going to hide, even tot of not joining my staff for lunch. I open up and here they hurt me. I just want to crawl back to my shell.
The Issue
Infact, hjust the opposite is the case. By covering our wounds with armour, we are preventing them from being healed. By lashing out at others, we keep ourselves from getting the love and nourishment we need.
Stop fighting. There is so much love available to u if u just let it in. Start by forgiving yourself. You are worth it.
Soul
Father, thank u. At least I understand why I m emotionally involved with situation surrounding S. Apart from being hurt from my past. I am also hurt that my Team could be that nasty too. I couldn't believe it. I guess it happen cos they were fighting for my attention, for my recognition.
They couldn't help being nasty. Their defense mechanism is high. Even me, alas a time to see my past hurt. I guess I was judging myself too for feeling disturbed and fearing that I may not resolve it. Perhaps I shouldn't judge myself even if I cannot resolve it. Like Sadhguru says its a daily affair. The thing is not to be afraid to live life and be myself. Life is not equal for all. If I can teach them this, I can teach myself.
2. Internal influence that u r unable to see.
Ripeness
Only if ur meditation has brought u a light that shines in every night will even death not be a death to u but a door to the divine. You just need to gather courage to enter into ur inner forest
U r ready to share ur inner riches, ur juice in ur work, ur rships. It is simply the right time.
Soul
Yday, despite being disturbed and sad and angry, I could still laugh and that's something I find amazing. My laughter is beyond me. Somehow I have connected to the other side.
I was lamenting yday. Why now? Why stil want to give me challenges? Haven't I prove myself? Why U don't love me? Why u make me suffer?
Guess I was feeling resentful. Instead, this is just for me to learn, to share.
Perhaps I can share how the other side receive it. Instead of attacking, use their guilt. Make them be aware of the pain they cause others. Yea, used me as an example. Yeap, I got it. Even if they can't feel the pain at least they know that I don't condone attack to any of my staff.
Question to W
1. Why do u want me to be informed of his mistakes?
2. How do you expect me to react?
3. What do u think will be S's experience from people highlighting his mistakes among his peers and his boss?
3. External influence
Creativity
It is the quality that u bring to the activity that u r doing.
Whatever u do, do it joyfully and lovingly. If u have something growing out of u, if it gives u growth, it is spiritual.
Techniques, expertise and knowledge are just tools. The key is to abandon oneself to the energy that fuels the birth of all things. This energy makes no difference what particular form ur creativity takes. The important thing is to be open to what wants to be expressed through you. Remember we don't possess our creations, they don't belong to us. True creativity arise from a union with the divine. Both a joy for the creator and a blessing to others.
Soul
Understood.
4. What is needed for resolution?
Consciousness
No mind represent the consciousness that is available to all who become a master of the mind and can use it as the servant it is meant to be.
When u choose this card, it means that there is a crystal clarity available right now, detached, rooted in the deep stillness that lies at the core of your being.
There is no desire to understand from the perspective of the mind - the understanding u have now is existential, whole, in harmony with the pulse of life itself.
Accept this great gift, and share it.
5. Resolution: The understanding
Politics
Politician don't have real faces. The whole game is a lie. Take a good look at yourself to see if u have been playing this game. What u see might be painful, but not as painful as continuing to play. It doesn't serve anybody's interest in the end, least of all yours.
Soul
Yeap.
Father, I couldn't immediately switched my mind off when I go to bed yesterday. It is one of those rare occassion that I didn't sleep within 5 min. I was lazing at least half an hour and then I told my mind to switch off and it finally did after 15 min.
I was still thinking of how to resolve d matter. While Sadhguru's msg that peer jealousy will always happen with our downline help assuage my guilt but it did not give me answer in resolving it. Of cos, both gurus resolved it by proving to all the reasons why their fav disciple is selected but not sure if it be taken positively cos it will only make their defense mechanism increase.
Father, I guess while I can understand P for creating d conflict, I still cannot understand W's resentment. Part of me is angry at her. I expect her to be more considerate knowing S's background. I never hear her complain abt S, until the promotion. She was even ok with the confirmation increment.
Osho
The issue
Fighting
One moment it was there, another moment, another moment it is gone. And for this simple moment, how much fuss we make! How much ambition, struggle, conflict, anger, just for this small moment. We create so much fuss; fighting, hurting each other, trying to possess, trying to boss, trying to dominate - all that politics.
Wearing an armour, ready detonate if anybody so much as brushes up against them. In the background we see the shadowy movie that plays in this man"s mind - two figures fighting for a castle.
An explosive temper or a smouldering rage often masks a deep feeling of pain. We think that if we frighten people away, we can avoid being hurt even more.
Soul
The pain I also felt on behalf of S is my pain. I have encountered his situation before. While I did fight back, the pain of rejection, the pain that I have to prove myself, and etc got to me. Perhaps the tail end pain and I am projecting it on P and W as I see them as the one who hurt me previously. I was so misunderstood. I suffer in silence and keep to myself. Of cos, in d end, they know what I am but that's after I am gone. I felt d hurt that simmer inside.
I was going to hide, even tot of not joining my staff for lunch. I open up and here they hurt me. I just want to crawl back to my shell.
The Issue
Infact, hjust the opposite is the case. By covering our wounds with armour, we are preventing them from being healed. By lashing out at others, we keep ourselves from getting the love and nourishment we need.
Stop fighting. There is so much love available to u if u just let it in. Start by forgiving yourself. You are worth it.
Soul
Father, thank u. At least I understand why I m emotionally involved with situation surrounding S. Apart from being hurt from my past. I am also hurt that my Team could be that nasty too. I couldn't believe it. I guess it happen cos they were fighting for my attention, for my recognition.
They couldn't help being nasty. Their defense mechanism is high. Even me, alas a time to see my past hurt. I guess I was judging myself too for feeling disturbed and fearing that I may not resolve it. Perhaps I shouldn't judge myself even if I cannot resolve it. Like Sadhguru says its a daily affair. The thing is not to be afraid to live life and be myself. Life is not equal for all. If I can teach them this, I can teach myself.
2. Internal influence that u r unable to see.
Ripeness
Only if ur meditation has brought u a light that shines in every night will even death not be a death to u but a door to the divine. You just need to gather courage to enter into ur inner forest
U r ready to share ur inner riches, ur juice in ur work, ur rships. It is simply the right time.
Soul
Yday, despite being disturbed and sad and angry, I could still laugh and that's something I find amazing. My laughter is beyond me. Somehow I have connected to the other side.
I was lamenting yday. Why now? Why stil want to give me challenges? Haven't I prove myself? Why U don't love me? Why u make me suffer?
Guess I was feeling resentful. Instead, this is just for me to learn, to share.
Perhaps I can share how the other side receive it. Instead of attacking, use their guilt. Make them be aware of the pain they cause others. Yea, used me as an example. Yeap, I got it. Even if they can't feel the pain at least they know that I don't condone attack to any of my staff.
Question to W
1. Why do u want me to be informed of his mistakes?
2. How do you expect me to react?
3. What do u think will be S's experience from people highlighting his mistakes among his peers and his boss?
3. External influence
Creativity
It is the quality that u bring to the activity that u r doing.
Whatever u do, do it joyfully and lovingly. If u have something growing out of u, if it gives u growth, it is spiritual.
Techniques, expertise and knowledge are just tools. The key is to abandon oneself to the energy that fuels the birth of all things. This energy makes no difference what particular form ur creativity takes. The important thing is to be open to what wants to be expressed through you. Remember we don't possess our creations, they don't belong to us. True creativity arise from a union with the divine. Both a joy for the creator and a blessing to others.
Soul
Understood.
4. What is needed for resolution?
Consciousness
No mind represent the consciousness that is available to all who become a master of the mind and can use it as the servant it is meant to be.
When u choose this card, it means that there is a crystal clarity available right now, detached, rooted in the deep stillness that lies at the core of your being.
There is no desire to understand from the perspective of the mind - the understanding u have now is existential, whole, in harmony with the pulse of life itself.
Accept this great gift, and share it.
5. Resolution: The understanding
Politics
Politician don't have real faces. The whole game is a lie. Take a good look at yourself to see if u have been playing this game. What u see might be painful, but not as painful as continuing to play. It doesn't serve anybody's interest in the end, least of all yours.
Soul
Yeap.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Conflicts among staff
May 3
Father, jus realised that during shakti first session, my fingers not holding the right mudra.
I am having slight negative tot abt my FM. I can understand why P was against S but I cannot understand why W is against S too. Like the mistake on d replacement for bcc entry. Is it major? Nope. I know they have bad experience in the payroll but that one I think P played a hand.
I tot the other day, I forget about this, but it keep coming back.
The only part was d promotion increment. Mmm, 8 of diamond. They have tots of their own, and won't listen to anyone.
When I commented that F and her assistant so far apart. She says me and her also the same.
Father, guide me.
8 of diamond
1st card is I m her Jupiter - I shared with her my abundance
2nd card is she is my Neptune - don't see her as she really is.
Soul - m facing this now.
3rd card is I m her Pluto - I challenge her to grow. Soul - in terms of work, she still hasn't really move.
4 th card is that she is Saturn in my Life spread. She is my teacher, telling me how to improve myself.
If I can take their criticism impersonally and use it constructively, I can make huge strides in my personal or professional devt.
Soul
Have I faced this before? Fight among my staff for my attention. Feeling they not supported.
While is true, am excited abt S, then even P from Sp also says she can see that S is good. When I told this to W, she waives it off and sort of says S is not good.
Of cos, among all my staff. I think S is the best. Perhaps he does all the things I don't know. But wit W, I also don't like the thing she does. Perhaps is becos while she can understand P right for increment, she can't understand hers. Frankly, is 1 year here, and my plan is to give her some increment. Tot of she running everything but looks like not possible. Even can see from Korea's set up. So how can she grow? Even now, she can't do and don't want to do the Budgets. So how?
Father, let me see her truly. Just like P and I have our up and down. Whereas P is my big sister, she is supposed to be my small sister. Let me see this as a learning.
Let me be compassionate to all of us, me included.
Let me see how I created the situation.
Evening
Jus did meditation. Despite lack of focus, surprisingly I was laughing. Then it occur to me this is a small issue for me. I will jus focus on me, W and S. Don't have to bring P into the pix.
If it small issue for me, why am I disturbed?
Cos I always take pride in myself handling my team and create good rapport among them. I had some hiccup in late Nineties but those hiccups long gone.
Now I admit why this disturbed me. I was feeling defensive against P for creating anomisity within W and for W for not supporting me and stupid for being taken a ride. I tot if I am guilty for having lunch with them, for being close to them, for showing favouritism.
I am guilty for showing I really likes S. But S is really supportive, initiative and solve problem without me having to lift a finger, he goes beyond board. He also listen to my guidance and has improved himself. He is the best in my Team and frankly if come to shove, I would prefer to lose W vs S cos W is just doing her base level job. I wonder if I what I told S abt his trigger is that he is so great that he makes people looks bad.
Alas, I was feeling defensive cos I tot this is about Me.
I recall in d nineties, so much animosity against me from S. She was shouting and etc and still I preservere. So, wit W, is a small issue compared to S. I guess these days, I just wan to be left alone. Who am I to change anyone? Who am I to judge. Aiyah, its just my defense mechanism. Also, am not sure if I can be tested. What if I fail after all d meditation course? Aiyah. Its just my defense mechanism.
Sadhguru, another tot, please.
Sadhguru's msg - Love thy neighbour. It takes much courage to do this. It is a very good device for breaking ur illusion of loving the one who is in the heavens.
If a persons is enlightened, he can relate to anybody. There is really no problem about relating with whomever he is with at that moment. Even if the other person is not willing, he can still relate to him and his limitations as well, and still be okay with him.
Eg. Ramakrishna attachment to Vivekananda. People around him resented this.
Eg. Ashtavakra with Janaka, the king. His other disciples resented him for this. Is it becos he is a king, a rich man, that he is being treated better than us?
This question was always there and now, there are so many emotions that are involved in this, which is a daily affair for every guru. For every guru, this is an issue in his life.
You don't carry rocks in ur hand the way u carry a flower. You carry flower with a different sense of gentleness and give a different priority to it. When u want to offer something to God, u don't offer rock. I am not saying rock is any less; it is just that a flower is more evolved. Accordingly, it gets treated. This goes for people also. This does not mean you don't care for the rock, but u do more work with it because it needs more work.
This is different, but definitely the way u handle it is different. If you don't have this distinction, then u will be a fool with life. In the name of equality, you will destroy all the beauty of life.
Soul
I was feeling defensive and guilty that I like S more than the rest. I was feeling guilty that I am more closer to S than the rest. I was feeling guilty that I support S more than the rest. I treasure S for his work and also his ability to accept my guidance for his path.
Sadhguru msg is that is ok to treat all of them differently.
Only thing is now I have to work with the rocks.
Amen
Father, jus realised that during shakti first session, my fingers not holding the right mudra.
I am having slight negative tot abt my FM. I can understand why P was against S but I cannot understand why W is against S too. Like the mistake on d replacement for bcc entry. Is it major? Nope. I know they have bad experience in the payroll but that one I think P played a hand.
I tot the other day, I forget about this, but it keep coming back.
The only part was d promotion increment. Mmm, 8 of diamond. They have tots of their own, and won't listen to anyone.
When I commented that F and her assistant so far apart. She says me and her also the same.
Father, guide me.
8 of diamond
1st card is I m her Jupiter - I shared with her my abundance
2nd card is she is my Neptune - don't see her as she really is.
Soul - m facing this now.
3rd card is I m her Pluto - I challenge her to grow. Soul - in terms of work, she still hasn't really move.
4 th card is that she is Saturn in my Life spread. She is my teacher, telling me how to improve myself.
If I can take their criticism impersonally and use it constructively, I can make huge strides in my personal or professional devt.
Soul
Have I faced this before? Fight among my staff for my attention. Feeling they not supported.
While is true, am excited abt S, then even P from Sp also says she can see that S is good. When I told this to W, she waives it off and sort of says S is not good.
Of cos, among all my staff. I think S is the best. Perhaps he does all the things I don't know. But wit W, I also don't like the thing she does. Perhaps is becos while she can understand P right for increment, she can't understand hers. Frankly, is 1 year here, and my plan is to give her some increment. Tot of she running everything but looks like not possible. Even can see from Korea's set up. So how can she grow? Even now, she can't do and don't want to do the Budgets. So how?
Father, let me see her truly. Just like P and I have our up and down. Whereas P is my big sister, she is supposed to be my small sister. Let me see this as a learning.
Let me be compassionate to all of us, me included.
Let me see how I created the situation.
Evening
Jus did meditation. Despite lack of focus, surprisingly I was laughing. Then it occur to me this is a small issue for me. I will jus focus on me, W and S. Don't have to bring P into the pix.
If it small issue for me, why am I disturbed?
Cos I always take pride in myself handling my team and create good rapport among them. I had some hiccup in late Nineties but those hiccups long gone.
Now I admit why this disturbed me. I was feeling defensive against P for creating anomisity within W and for W for not supporting me and stupid for being taken a ride. I tot if I am guilty for having lunch with them, for being close to them, for showing favouritism.
I am guilty for showing I really likes S. But S is really supportive, initiative and solve problem without me having to lift a finger, he goes beyond board. He also listen to my guidance and has improved himself. He is the best in my Team and frankly if come to shove, I would prefer to lose W vs S cos W is just doing her base level job. I wonder if I what I told S abt his trigger is that he is so great that he makes people looks bad.
Alas, I was feeling defensive cos I tot this is about Me.
I recall in d nineties, so much animosity against me from S. She was shouting and etc and still I preservere. So, wit W, is a small issue compared to S. I guess these days, I just wan to be left alone. Who am I to change anyone? Who am I to judge. Aiyah, its just my defense mechanism. Also, am not sure if I can be tested. What if I fail after all d meditation course? Aiyah. Its just my defense mechanism.
Sadhguru, another tot, please.
Sadhguru's msg - Love thy neighbour. It takes much courage to do this. It is a very good device for breaking ur illusion of loving the one who is in the heavens.
If a persons is enlightened, he can relate to anybody. There is really no problem about relating with whomever he is with at that moment. Even if the other person is not willing, he can still relate to him and his limitations as well, and still be okay with him.
Eg. Ramakrishna attachment to Vivekananda. People around him resented this.
Eg. Ashtavakra with Janaka, the king. His other disciples resented him for this. Is it becos he is a king, a rich man, that he is being treated better than us?
This question was always there and now, there are so many emotions that are involved in this, which is a daily affair for every guru. For every guru, this is an issue in his life.
You don't carry rocks in ur hand the way u carry a flower. You carry flower with a different sense of gentleness and give a different priority to it. When u want to offer something to God, u don't offer rock. I am not saying rock is any less; it is just that a flower is more evolved. Accordingly, it gets treated. This goes for people also. This does not mean you don't care for the rock, but u do more work with it because it needs more work.
This is different, but definitely the way u handle it is different. If you don't have this distinction, then u will be a fool with life. In the name of equality, you will destroy all the beauty of life.
Soul
I was feeling defensive and guilty that I like S more than the rest. I was feeling guilty that I am more closer to S than the rest. I was feeling guilty that I support S more than the rest. I treasure S for his work and also his ability to accept my guidance for his path.
Sadhguru msg is that is ok to treat all of them differently.
Only thing is now I have to work with the rocks.
Amen
Knowledge cannot transform
May 2
Osho
Knowledge is not a transforming force. So you know, but it never transform you; and it gives you a feeling that you are weak, it makes u feel impotent. Look at it.
Your knowledge destroy ur self confidence. It is better to be angry and not to know that anger is bad. But to know that anger is bad and then to be angry is very dangerous; you are getting split. A part of ur mind says its wrong and the other part goes on doing it all the same. You r becoming schizophrenic.
Soul
Suddenly tot of me and my exam method during college. I never tries to read more books or revision kit nor to try to do mock questions. My tot was if I do, I find out I don't know a lot of things and it would trigger my self confidence. So, my mode was jus to read and apply what I know from my own insight rather than books's prescribed answers. Funnily, because of this mode, I go into exam hall feeling confident and just do my answer the way I tot fit rather than any mode from revision kit. I did well in all the exams. Pass through wit flying colours.
Wonder how can it apply here.
Osho
A man of knowing arrives at his knowing each moment again and again. He never carries the old. He lives in the moment, he is responsive, sensitive, alert, aware.
Osho
Knowledge is not a transforming force. So you know, but it never transform you; and it gives you a feeling that you are weak, it makes u feel impotent. Look at it.
Your knowledge destroy ur self confidence. It is better to be angry and not to know that anger is bad. But to know that anger is bad and then to be angry is very dangerous; you are getting split. A part of ur mind says its wrong and the other part goes on doing it all the same. You r becoming schizophrenic.
Soul
Suddenly tot of me and my exam method during college. I never tries to read more books or revision kit nor to try to do mock questions. My tot was if I do, I find out I don't know a lot of things and it would trigger my self confidence. So, my mode was jus to read and apply what I know from my own insight rather than books's prescribed answers. Funnily, because of this mode, I go into exam hall feeling confident and just do my answer the way I tot fit rather than any mode from revision kit. I did well in all the exams. Pass through wit flying colours.
Wonder how can it apply here.
Osho
A man of knowing arrives at his knowing each moment again and again. He never carries the old. He lives in the moment, he is responsive, sensitive, alert, aware.
Opening results in awareness
Apr 30
Osho
Diminishing is not the right process. When u diminish jealousy, your love will be diminished alongside, because your love and jealousy are so much entangled. If u diminish your sadness, your happiness will be diminished also. If you diminish your hate, ur love will disappear. You have been taught not to hate and the total result is that you have become incapable of love.
Rather, magnify, exaggerate, bring it to its total blossoming and then see it every detail. In that very awareness, u will become capable of transcending it and then there will be no need to do anything about it.
Soul
True, today was having tots on my staff politicking among themselves. Frankly, I did choose side. And my mind was running tots of it and got bit worried and was strategising how to resolve it. Then a tot came, what u don't think about, will die on its own. With that, I stop and I become neutrel.
The Cloud of Unknowing, a very famous mystic treatise in the West - the only one in the West.
Soul
That's the book that has made me cries bucket. It has been at least more than 8 years since I read it. Will go thru it again.
Osho
Diminishing is not the right process. When u diminish jealousy, your love will be diminished alongside, because your love and jealousy are so much entangled. If u diminish your sadness, your happiness will be diminished also. If you diminish your hate, ur love will disappear. You have been taught not to hate and the total result is that you have become incapable of love.
Rather, magnify, exaggerate, bring it to its total blossoming and then see it every detail. In that very awareness, u will become capable of transcending it and then there will be no need to do anything about it.
Soul
True, today was having tots on my staff politicking among themselves. Frankly, I did choose side. And my mind was running tots of it and got bit worried and was strategising how to resolve it. Then a tot came, what u don't think about, will die on its own. With that, I stop and I become neutrel.
The Cloud of Unknowing, a very famous mystic treatise in the West - the only one in the West.
Soul
That's the book that has made me cries bucket. It has been at least more than 8 years since I read it. Will go thru it again.
Spiritual path (5)
Apr 29
Finally d seminar is over. While d worldwide seminar is not good, the network seminar is so refreshing, motivate me to do my part in d company. It was great getting to know them.
Last 3 days didn't do shoonya and shakti cos dinner with them. Jus complete my meditation, felt much at ease. Was also worried I lost shoonya since a fellow meditator says that if u didn't do, it be lost. Well, it is not, is in me.
Father, guess I was asking what's next. Jus now was feeling edgy after my sleep. Was thinkin that I lost my center. Aiyah all these judgement. Jus remember, I worked till 9 pm and now is 7 pm and somemore with 1 day off. So, great improvement.
Sadhguru
The mind is such, a little something happens and it get excited. Doubts will arise, question will arise; you are still in that state. This has to go. Until this goes, many things will not be steady.
Soul
Good msg. Sms J on the IE program and he says no longer keen. Previously, I would have felt hurt cos he didn't listen to my advice, and then later improved to his tolerance level is high and he still continue to suffer. Now I just smiled, is his life and I don't live it, so it doesn't affect me and I need not take it personally. Again same message, "This is not about you".
Osho
Recognise the fact that you are empty ... and then immediately the idea will arise, 'Then what am I to do?'.
Go into this emptiness. It cannot be filled by anything from the outside.
If you go in, it can be filled, if you reach to the center of your being, it will be full. And that is real fullness. Then you are an emperor - outwardly you may be just a beggar. Then you are really rich, and the richness is such that nobody can take it away from you. Even death cannot separate you from your richness.
"This richness you are carrying as a treasure in your being, but you have not looked there.
Start looking inside, search your house. Take a small candle of meditation and go in"
Soul
Yeap, empty. What's next?
The answer is just to go into the emptiness.
Finally d seminar is over. While d worldwide seminar is not good, the network seminar is so refreshing, motivate me to do my part in d company. It was great getting to know them.
Last 3 days didn't do shoonya and shakti cos dinner with them. Jus complete my meditation, felt much at ease. Was also worried I lost shoonya since a fellow meditator says that if u didn't do, it be lost. Well, it is not, is in me.
Father, guess I was asking what's next. Jus now was feeling edgy after my sleep. Was thinkin that I lost my center. Aiyah all these judgement. Jus remember, I worked till 9 pm and now is 7 pm and somemore with 1 day off. So, great improvement.
Sadhguru
The mind is such, a little something happens and it get excited. Doubts will arise, question will arise; you are still in that state. This has to go. Until this goes, many things will not be steady.
Soul
Good msg. Sms J on the IE program and he says no longer keen. Previously, I would have felt hurt cos he didn't listen to my advice, and then later improved to his tolerance level is high and he still continue to suffer. Now I just smiled, is his life and I don't live it, so it doesn't affect me and I need not take it personally. Again same message, "This is not about you".
Osho
Recognise the fact that you are empty ... and then immediately the idea will arise, 'Then what am I to do?'.
Go into this emptiness. It cannot be filled by anything from the outside.
If you go in, it can be filled, if you reach to the center of your being, it will be full. And that is real fullness. Then you are an emperor - outwardly you may be just a beggar. Then you are really rich, and the richness is such that nobody can take it away from you. Even death cannot separate you from your richness.
"This richness you are carrying as a treasure in your being, but you have not looked there.
Start looking inside, search your house. Take a small candle of meditation and go in"
Soul
Yeap, empty. What's next?
The answer is just to go into the emptiness.
Defenses still on - but I am aware
Apr 27
CFO keep on saying he didn't say what he said and insist he is right. At first, I was fine and try to explain but when he persist, my defenses goes up.
And I start to have defensive tot and want to reject. But an alternative tot came, is this worth it? I calmed down and said its not worth it. Perhaps I heard wrongly or perhaps he didn't realise that I said I will put as bonus for local account. Anyway, if he tell me again tomorro. I will jus replied that perhaps I listen wrongly n he is not getting older.
Its true, when I tot my staff did wrongly, I do question them cos I was sure of my standard response. But I am not as sure of myself as my boss. Let it be.
Today got to know another sister company CFO and he shared his frustation of being caught in between his CEO and holding company. CEO also shareholder and hence he has not support. My symphaty to him, I am blessed that the CEO has no interest and also blessed CEO basically quite 'clean'.
I am happy to meet some of the sister group colleague.
Evening
Osho
Be total and not be perfect.
Perfection is no anger, no jealousy, no possessiveness, no flaws, no limitation.
Totally is if u r angry, be totally angry. If u r loving, be totally loving. If u r sad, be totally sad. Nothing is denied - only partiality has to be dropped and then a person becomes beautiful.
A total person is beautiful.
A perfect person is dead.
A real man or woman, an authentic person has all the climates in his being - only with one awareness: that whatsoever he is doing, he should do totally and should do with full awareness.
To be really religious means to be non interfering. Give freedom to people; freedom is their birthright.
To have an opinion about someone means that deep down somewhere I want to manipulate you. To have some opinion about you, this way or that, means that I have deep desire to be powerful over people.
CFO keep on saying he didn't say what he said and insist he is right. At first, I was fine and try to explain but when he persist, my defenses goes up.
And I start to have defensive tot and want to reject. But an alternative tot came, is this worth it? I calmed down and said its not worth it. Perhaps I heard wrongly or perhaps he didn't realise that I said I will put as bonus for local account. Anyway, if he tell me again tomorro. I will jus replied that perhaps I listen wrongly n he is not getting older.
Its true, when I tot my staff did wrongly, I do question them cos I was sure of my standard response. But I am not as sure of myself as my boss. Let it be.
Today got to know another sister company CFO and he shared his frustation of being caught in between his CEO and holding company. CEO also shareholder and hence he has not support. My symphaty to him, I am blessed that the CEO has no interest and also blessed CEO basically quite 'clean'.
I am happy to meet some of the sister group colleague.
Evening
Osho
Be total and not be perfect.
Perfection is no anger, no jealousy, no possessiveness, no flaws, no limitation.
Totally is if u r angry, be totally angry. If u r loving, be totally loving. If u r sad, be totally sad. Nothing is denied - only partiality has to be dropped and then a person becomes beautiful.
A total person is beautiful.
A perfect person is dead.
A real man or woman, an authentic person has all the climates in his being - only with one awareness: that whatsoever he is doing, he should do totally and should do with full awareness.
To be really religious means to be non interfering. Give freedom to people; freedom is their birthright.
To have an opinion about someone means that deep down somewhere I want to manipulate you. To have some opinion about you, this way or that, means that I have deep desire to be powerful over people.
Samyama - definitely got something (7)
Apr 23 Evenin
Father, this mornin CEO called me that she too think we are making d wrong decision. She says that she wans the right candidate and the candidate will report to her. I replied that she already knows what is my opinion. And I think if she is up to it, she can do it.
Jus now tot of not doing meditation. Then decided to do shoonya only. However after shoonya, I just continued with Shakti. Was dancing quite well and infact both legs lifted up and wanting to go behind my head. Amazing.
I tot abt it again. For Friday, still to keep to my schedules cos it is not to get it over with but its to savour it. So, Friday wil be biz as usual.
Just now while meditating, again Befriender came up. A tot came that I would do Befriender and also give them my blog and they can also write for counselliung to the blog.
This is even more important cos I discovered my type of writing.
Father, this mornin CEO called me that she too think we are making d wrong decision. She says that she wans the right candidate and the candidate will report to her. I replied that she already knows what is my opinion. And I think if she is up to it, she can do it.
Jus now tot of not doing meditation. Then decided to do shoonya only. However after shoonya, I just continued with Shakti. Was dancing quite well and infact both legs lifted up and wanting to go behind my head. Amazing.
I tot abt it again. For Friday, still to keep to my schedules cos it is not to get it over with but its to savour it. So, Friday wil be biz as usual.
Just now while meditating, again Befriender came up. A tot came that I would do Befriender and also give them my blog and they can also write for counselliung to the blog.
This is even more important cos I discovered my type of writing.
Difficult to gain silence, but easily lost in the beginning
Apr 23
Lieh Tzu
"Talking and giving, we lose the place"
The moment you start taking and giving - do this, don't do that, relate, connect, with people - you lose your place, you lose your inner flame, you lose your inner contact. This is only so in the beginning.
You may become afraid of relating and escaped from life or to the mountain so as not to be in contact.
Yes, talking and giving, when we come to the market-place, the meditation is lost. Then, first attain to meditation, then go again and again and become more and more alert, so that you can become capable one day of relating and remaining alone together; of being in the market place and yet not being there; of being in the crowd and yet being alone. This is the highest. It cannot be said to a disciple. That happens only when one become a master. (Lieh Tzu - Then you have become a lotus; you are in the water and the water touches you not.)
Soul
That's my aim. I want to be here and yet be of here.
Osho
First develop, evolve, the sunya - the zero, the emptiness and then bring it to the world. Again and again you will lose it, that's true, but because of that don't try to escape from the world, don't become an escapist. It is a challenge. And the highest peak is attained only when nobody can disturb your inner space - nobody, no situation can disturb it.
Then for the first time you become a possessor of it. Then you are a possessor and you are possessed by it. Then it is yours, really yours.
For now, you have touched it, but you have not yet been a possessor.
Most of us do not want to see ourselves as we are, nor would want to take a second look into a mind-mirror. But he who will confirm us in the pet delusions we cherish about ourselves, can have just about anything we have got.
Remember, to be empty is to move into a space where you will see yourself as you are. That's why people are afraid: they don't want to go into that inner space. They are afraid that their ideal self-images will fall down.
Whatever path you are in, all the masters have insisted on one thing: that you have come to your reality as you are.
In the beginning, it will be almost an experience of hell, but that is the price we have to pay. If you are courageous enough, and if you can preservere, soon the hell disappears, the clouds are gone, and the sun shines in a cloudless sky. Then you have come to your inner paradise.
Soul
Exactly my belief and my experience. Amen. My belief was behind d fear is love.
Osho
Hell and heaven are both within. Hell is just your circumference, heaven is your center. You are the center of the cyclone. Tao says that nothing really has to be done. One has just to penetrate into one's own being.
Ken Reed
"One who has contentment in his heart finds good everywhere and at all times"
Nothing else is there to be done. You have forgotten who you are. The only thing that has to be done is to remember who you are. Forgetfulness is the world, remembrance is God. To forget is to be lost. To remember is to be back home.
Lieh Tzu
"Talking and giving, we lose the place"
The moment you start taking and giving - do this, don't do that, relate, connect, with people - you lose your place, you lose your inner flame, you lose your inner contact. This is only so in the beginning.
You may become afraid of relating and escaped from life or to the mountain so as not to be in contact.
Yes, talking and giving, when we come to the market-place, the meditation is lost. Then, first attain to meditation, then go again and again and become more and more alert, so that you can become capable one day of relating and remaining alone together; of being in the market place and yet not being there; of being in the crowd and yet being alone. This is the highest. It cannot be said to a disciple. That happens only when one become a master. (Lieh Tzu - Then you have become a lotus; you are in the water and the water touches you not.)
Soul
That's my aim. I want to be here and yet be of here.
Osho
First develop, evolve, the sunya - the zero, the emptiness and then bring it to the world. Again and again you will lose it, that's true, but because of that don't try to escape from the world, don't become an escapist. It is a challenge. And the highest peak is attained only when nobody can disturb your inner space - nobody, no situation can disturb it.
Then for the first time you become a possessor of it. Then you are a possessor and you are possessed by it. Then it is yours, really yours.
For now, you have touched it, but you have not yet been a possessor.
Most of us do not want to see ourselves as we are, nor would want to take a second look into a mind-mirror. But he who will confirm us in the pet delusions we cherish about ourselves, can have just about anything we have got.
Remember, to be empty is to move into a space where you will see yourself as you are. That's why people are afraid: they don't want to go into that inner space. They are afraid that their ideal self-images will fall down.
Whatever path you are in, all the masters have insisted on one thing: that you have come to your reality as you are.
In the beginning, it will be almost an experience of hell, but that is the price we have to pay. If you are courageous enough, and if you can preservere, soon the hell disappears, the clouds are gone, and the sun shines in a cloudless sky. Then you have come to your inner paradise.
Soul
Exactly my belief and my experience. Amen. My belief was behind d fear is love.
Osho
Hell and heaven are both within. Hell is just your circumference, heaven is your center. You are the center of the cyclone. Tao says that nothing really has to be done. One has just to penetrate into one's own being.
Ken Reed
"One who has contentment in his heart finds good everywhere and at all times"
Nothing else is there to be done. You have forgotten who you are. The only thing that has to be done is to remember who you are. Forgetfulness is the world, remembrance is God. To forget is to be lost. To remember is to be back home.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Approve myself (3)
Apr 22
Father, I am fine with the silent meditations. Previously keep on thinking m off track but remembering Sadhguru's advice that mind doesn't know everything and can't judge. So, I didn't and now I felt m on track again. Also suddenly tot of my Issue card
Understanding
In the inner sky, in the inner world, freedom is the highest value - everything else is secondary, even blissfulness, ecstasy. There are thousands of flowers, uncountable, but they all become possible in the climate of freedom.
Soul
I am freed from my ego. My self defense mechanism is no longer on auto mode with regards to emails from Regional, my staff. On d boss, still got some.
Issue
Inner freedom can make us feel a little shaky at first. Its fine and natural to be shaky, but don't let it overshadow the opportunity to experience the lightheartedness and adventure on offer.
Soul
First tot is that yea, freedom from ego is a good feeling, feel freed and light. Of cos, part of me felt shaky cos I lost myself and wonder what's happening to me. But its a good thing, losing my old self.
Second tot is d lack of laughter and dancing during my meditation. Yea, perhaps I have moved to another level. Jus like in d beginning, I used to have so much tears but now I rarely have it. But my mind judge the tears to be sadness and that's fine. Whereas laughter and dancing is joyfulness and if it become less, than I am off track. So, who knows. Don't judge myself. I approve and love myself. Even if I lost my blissfulness, my True Self is finally showing up.
What is needed for resolution
The mirror does nothing. It simply reflects the camel, lion or child.
Your consciousness is only a mirror. Neither do u come nor do you go. Things come and go. You become young, you become old; you are alive, you are dead. All these states are simply reflection in an eternal pool of consciousness.
Whatever space you're in right now - sleepy and depressed, or roaring and rebellious - be aware that it will evolve into something new if you allow it. It is a time of growth and change.
Soul
I think this msg is for me to let go and flow with whatever I am becoming. Don't have to control my own evolution. Amen
Nine of spades
This is the end of way of life, or way of being with ur health and body.
Some important aspect of ur life is coming to an end when this potent card shows up.
This is a death card indeed. It clears away all the unwanted and useless debris in our life and put us back on a new course where we are much more enlivened and satisfied.
Father, I am fine with the silent meditations. Previously keep on thinking m off track but remembering Sadhguru's advice that mind doesn't know everything and can't judge. So, I didn't and now I felt m on track again. Also suddenly tot of my Issue card
Understanding
In the inner sky, in the inner world, freedom is the highest value - everything else is secondary, even blissfulness, ecstasy. There are thousands of flowers, uncountable, but they all become possible in the climate of freedom.
Soul
I am freed from my ego. My self defense mechanism is no longer on auto mode with regards to emails from Regional, my staff. On d boss, still got some.
Issue
Inner freedom can make us feel a little shaky at first. Its fine and natural to be shaky, but don't let it overshadow the opportunity to experience the lightheartedness and adventure on offer.
Soul
First tot is that yea, freedom from ego is a good feeling, feel freed and light. Of cos, part of me felt shaky cos I lost myself and wonder what's happening to me. But its a good thing, losing my old self.
Second tot is d lack of laughter and dancing during my meditation. Yea, perhaps I have moved to another level. Jus like in d beginning, I used to have so much tears but now I rarely have it. But my mind judge the tears to be sadness and that's fine. Whereas laughter and dancing is joyfulness and if it become less, than I am off track. So, who knows. Don't judge myself. I approve and love myself. Even if I lost my blissfulness, my True Self is finally showing up.
What is needed for resolution
The mirror does nothing. It simply reflects the camel, lion or child.
Your consciousness is only a mirror. Neither do u come nor do you go. Things come and go. You become young, you become old; you are alive, you are dead. All these states are simply reflection in an eternal pool of consciousness.
Whatever space you're in right now - sleepy and depressed, or roaring and rebellious - be aware that it will evolve into something new if you allow it. It is a time of growth and change.
Soul
I think this msg is for me to let go and flow with whatever I am becoming. Don't have to control my own evolution. Amen
Nine of spades
This is the end of way of life, or way of being with ur health and body.
Some important aspect of ur life is coming to an end when this potent card shows up.
This is a death card indeed. It clears away all the unwanted and useless debris in our life and put us back on a new course where we are much more enlivened and satisfied.
Approve myself (2)
Apr 21 Evening
Louise Hay
Put awareness into practice
Think thoughts that makes you happy. Do things that make you feel good. Be with people who make u feel good. Eat things that make ur body feel good. Go at a pace that makes u feel good.
Soul
I have not been watching my breathe and it has been a tiring week handling the CEO and her insecurities. I guess I also have mine and have to hold hers is tiring.
Louise Hay
It all began with one tiny seed. It is the same with creating a new experience for yourself. The soil you plant is in ur subconscious mind. The seed is the new affirmation. The whole new experience is in this tiny seed. You water it with affirmation. You let the sunshine of positive thoughts beam on it. You weed the garden by pulling out the negative tot that come up. And when u first see the tiniest little evidence, you don't stomp on it and say, "that's not enough!". Instead, you look at this breakthrough and exclaim with glee, "Oh boy! Here it comes! It is working!
Then you watch it grows and become ur desire in manifestation.
Soul
Did my meditation. No laughter nor dancing. Guess miss d mini samadhi and wonder if I lost it. But would say I gone in deep into silence.
When I wake up from meditation. Tot I am off track and wanted to read Sadhguru. A tot came, he will tell me that it's a part of spiritual path challenge and my mind would judge my performance and it doesn't know everything to judge.
Let me be happy wit d fact that I am no longer angry with regional petty/detailed comments on my reports. I can see it as their job to be detailed and I can appreciate them for helping me.
So, its a good start.
Louise Hay
Loving and approving of yourself, creating a space of safety, trusting and deserving and accepting, will enable your body weight to normalise. They will create organisation in ur mind, create loving relationships in ur life, attract a new job and new place to love.
My affirmation
This is a new day. I am a new me.
I think differently. I speak differently. I act differently.
Others treat me differently.
My new world is a reflection of my new thinking.
It is a joy and delight to plant new seeds, for I know these seeds will become my new experiences.
All is well in my world.
I deserve to be healthy
I deserve to be in a loving relationship.
I release the pattern in my consciousness that is creating resistance to my good.
(May 11 - I am now seeing that I do have contradictory tots in me in respect of loving rship.)
Louise Hay
Put awareness into practice
Think thoughts that makes you happy. Do things that make you feel good. Be with people who make u feel good. Eat things that make ur body feel good. Go at a pace that makes u feel good.
Soul
I have not been watching my breathe and it has been a tiring week handling the CEO and her insecurities. I guess I also have mine and have to hold hers is tiring.
Louise Hay
It all began with one tiny seed. It is the same with creating a new experience for yourself. The soil you plant is in ur subconscious mind. The seed is the new affirmation. The whole new experience is in this tiny seed. You water it with affirmation. You let the sunshine of positive thoughts beam on it. You weed the garden by pulling out the negative tot that come up. And when u first see the tiniest little evidence, you don't stomp on it and say, "that's not enough!". Instead, you look at this breakthrough and exclaim with glee, "Oh boy! Here it comes! It is working!
Then you watch it grows and become ur desire in manifestation.
Soul
Did my meditation. No laughter nor dancing. Guess miss d mini samadhi and wonder if I lost it. But would say I gone in deep into silence.
When I wake up from meditation. Tot I am off track and wanted to read Sadhguru. A tot came, he will tell me that it's a part of spiritual path challenge and my mind would judge my performance and it doesn't know everything to judge.
Let me be happy wit d fact that I am no longer angry with regional petty/detailed comments on my reports. I can see it as their job to be detailed and I can appreciate them for helping me.
So, its a good start.
Louise Hay
Loving and approving of yourself, creating a space of safety, trusting and deserving and accepting, will enable your body weight to normalise. They will create organisation in ur mind, create loving relationships in ur life, attract a new job and new place to love.
My affirmation
This is a new day. I am a new me.
I think differently. I speak differently. I act differently.
Others treat me differently.
My new world is a reflection of my new thinking.
It is a joy and delight to plant new seeds, for I know these seeds will become my new experiences.
All is well in my world.
I deserve to be healthy
I deserve to be in a loving relationship.
I release the pattern in my consciousness that is creating resistance to my good.
(May 11 - I am now seeing that I do have contradictory tots in me in respect of loving rship.)
Prepared for Defeat and yet you will never be defeated
Apr 21
Osho
Day in day out couples have been quarelling over love. A wife complaining that her husband does not love her as much as she loves him. And a husband in his turn complaining that his wife is not as loving to him.
A son is full of resentment that his father does not love him. And a father in his turn grumbles equally.
Everybody is complaining but no one asks if he himself is loving or not. Rarely one wants to know if he is loving toward others.
We are not loving; we really don't have love. We don't love the human beings not the plants and flower, the moon, who are all members of the visble world. And we don't even love the seen, the tangible, how can we love that which is unseen, invisible?
Love should begin at home. And you will find that one who loves the visible soon begins to feel the presence of the invisible that is hidden just behind.
You love a flower and you will come in contact with the elan vital that is throbbing inside the flower's heart. You love a person and soon the body disappears and the spirit becomes visible.
Love journey begins and ends with the first step; one step is enough.
To Krishna, a friend can turn into an enemy and an enemy into friends, it all depends on circumstances.
To us, we are friends with some and enemies to others. And so when circumstances change, we find ourselves in great difficulty. Then we try to carry on our old relationships and suffer.
Krishna doe not. He allows life to go on its way and he goes with life.
To Krishna, friendship and enimity are not something permanent, they are fluid.
Soul
I was telling my FM. There is no good or bad person per se. There is only how much or the degree the person's defense mechanism is activated. A friend is pushed into defensive mode can be an enemy.
And our defensive mode is so easily triggered and hence we can easily turn into enemies even among friends.
Just like enemies can turn into friends as the matter on hand doesn't trigger their personal defense mechanism.
Osho
Life is a flux, and so it is difficult to ascertain who is a friend and who is an enemy.
So it is always good to deal with both friends and enemies, with an eye on tomorrow. Tomorrow is unpredictable, even the next moment is unpredictable. Everybody changes with the changing moment. Life is always changing; change is its nature. Life is a play of light and shade.
So a person who lives his life like a river makes neither friends nor foes; he accepts whatever life brings. If someone comes to him as a friend, he is accepted as a friend, and if another person comes as a foe, he too is accepted. He chooses nothing; he rejects nothing.
To Krishna, no one is friend and no one is enemy. Time decides; circumstances create both friends and foes. And Krishna has no grievances against anybody.
Soul
So apt message for my topic on complaints.
Osho
He alone can go with righteousness who has the courage to risk defeat.
Only one who is ready to go through pain and suffering can go with God.
One who wants victory at any cost is bound to land in irreligion. Irreligion is forever in search of the easy way, the shortcut, while the road to religion is long and hard.
Soul
Tot this as msg to motivate me in my quest to follow my Passion to be a well known Transformational leader.
Just do it, have courage to face failure.
That is my issue as a control freak. I don't play if there is a chance of loss. And in this case, the stake is stack high on failure but I will proceed now.
Osho
It is significant that one who is prepared to with religion even at the cost of defeat and disaster, can never be defeated.
But the readiness for defeat is necessary. The road to irreligion is tempting, because it gives you an assurance of cheap success. And nobody ever wins thru evil, evil ultimately leads to utter ruin.
On the contrary, righteousness is a challenge, you have to be prepared for defeat. But its glory is that if you choose it with this awareness, you will never be defeated.
This is the paradox of life. It is truth that wins.
Soul
Tot of me overcoming all my fears and quitting my job. Little did I know that I will be getting time off. Then I tot to have 2 days pay cut and little did I know I need only 1 day pay cut and furthermore with pay reinstatement, m back to original figure.
Amen.
Today card - 6 of club
Card of intuition
Indicates we become aware of a special purpose in our life, something to do with sharing higher knowledge with others. It has also been called the "John the Baptist Card" and the "Way-Shower"s Card". Thus it can be a harbinger of an important mission for you, one which will lead you to a higher purpose and lifestyle in the spiritual sense.
Queen of diamond
If they adopt a spiritual path and realise that they have a mission, they can achieve the heights of spiritual realisation and self-mastery (Queen of Spades in Neptune). This realisation will also dispel ALL of the problems they have with money and love.
Soul
So, the end objective is I am only helping myself by helping others. I will be grateful that this is my destiny instead of lamenting that I have to help.
Osho
Day in day out couples have been quarelling over love. A wife complaining that her husband does not love her as much as she loves him. And a husband in his turn complaining that his wife is not as loving to him.
A son is full of resentment that his father does not love him. And a father in his turn grumbles equally.
Everybody is complaining but no one asks if he himself is loving or not. Rarely one wants to know if he is loving toward others.
We are not loving; we really don't have love. We don't love the human beings not the plants and flower, the moon, who are all members of the visble world. And we don't even love the seen, the tangible, how can we love that which is unseen, invisible?
Love should begin at home. And you will find that one who loves the visible soon begins to feel the presence of the invisible that is hidden just behind.
You love a flower and you will come in contact with the elan vital that is throbbing inside the flower's heart. You love a person and soon the body disappears and the spirit becomes visible.
Love journey begins and ends with the first step; one step is enough.
To Krishna, a friend can turn into an enemy and an enemy into friends, it all depends on circumstances.
To us, we are friends with some and enemies to others. And so when circumstances change, we find ourselves in great difficulty. Then we try to carry on our old relationships and suffer.
Krishna doe not. He allows life to go on its way and he goes with life.
To Krishna, friendship and enimity are not something permanent, they are fluid.
Soul
I was telling my FM. There is no good or bad person per se. There is only how much or the degree the person's defense mechanism is activated. A friend is pushed into defensive mode can be an enemy.
And our defensive mode is so easily triggered and hence we can easily turn into enemies even among friends.
Just like enemies can turn into friends as the matter on hand doesn't trigger their personal defense mechanism.
Osho
Life is a flux, and so it is difficult to ascertain who is a friend and who is an enemy.
So it is always good to deal with both friends and enemies, with an eye on tomorrow. Tomorrow is unpredictable, even the next moment is unpredictable. Everybody changes with the changing moment. Life is always changing; change is its nature. Life is a play of light and shade.
So a person who lives his life like a river makes neither friends nor foes; he accepts whatever life brings. If someone comes to him as a friend, he is accepted as a friend, and if another person comes as a foe, he too is accepted. He chooses nothing; he rejects nothing.
To Krishna, no one is friend and no one is enemy. Time decides; circumstances create both friends and foes. And Krishna has no grievances against anybody.
Soul
So apt message for my topic on complaints.
Osho
He alone can go with righteousness who has the courage to risk defeat.
Only one who is ready to go through pain and suffering can go with God.
One who wants victory at any cost is bound to land in irreligion. Irreligion is forever in search of the easy way, the shortcut, while the road to religion is long and hard.
Soul
Tot this as msg to motivate me in my quest to follow my Passion to be a well known Transformational leader.
Just do it, have courage to face failure.
That is my issue as a control freak. I don't play if there is a chance of loss. And in this case, the stake is stack high on failure but I will proceed now.
Osho
It is significant that one who is prepared to with religion even at the cost of defeat and disaster, can never be defeated.
But the readiness for defeat is necessary. The road to irreligion is tempting, because it gives you an assurance of cheap success. And nobody ever wins thru evil, evil ultimately leads to utter ruin.
On the contrary, righteousness is a challenge, you have to be prepared for defeat. But its glory is that if you choose it with this awareness, you will never be defeated.
This is the paradox of life. It is truth that wins.
Soul
Tot of me overcoming all my fears and quitting my job. Little did I know that I will be getting time off. Then I tot to have 2 days pay cut and little did I know I need only 1 day pay cut and furthermore with pay reinstatement, m back to original figure.
Amen.
Today card - 6 of club
Card of intuition
Indicates we become aware of a special purpose in our life, something to do with sharing higher knowledge with others. It has also been called the "John the Baptist Card" and the "Way-Shower"s Card". Thus it can be a harbinger of an important mission for you, one which will lead you to a higher purpose and lifestyle in the spiritual sense.
Queen of diamond
If they adopt a spiritual path and realise that they have a mission, they can achieve the heights of spiritual realisation and self-mastery (Queen of Spades in Neptune). This realisation will also dispel ALL of the problems they have with money and love.
Soul
So, the end objective is I am only helping myself by helping others. I will be grateful that this is my destiny instead of lamenting that I have to help.
Stick-to-it-ness
Apr 20 Evenin
Gweyneth Paltrow
Exercise 6 days a week
Some days I hate it, some days I love it but I stick with it.
Having this "Stick-to-it-ness" is what its all about.
Soul
Similar to my experience wit meditation albeit 'hate' changed to 'chore'
This evening meditation, I didn't connect but I just ride along. Unexpectedly at the very end, I become connected and start to dance unexpectedly and also doing bit of gymnastic movement.
Louise Hay
The more you dwell on what you don't want, the more of it you create. The things about yourself or your life that you have always disliked are probably still with you.
Move away from the negative and put your attention on what it is that you really do want to be or have.
Soul
Thankfully, very little only. Actually, I seldom dwell on what I don't want, except for hurt in rship. I normally dwell on what I want.
Jus now tot of d drama excerpt. "Take your hands off my woman". So manly and so protective. Guess today I felt bit off cos at times I wonder who is going to protect me. I always have to protect others. I used to resent it and at time withheld my protection. But now the resentment has lessen and I have somewhat accept my role.
Mmm. If I can give protection to others, that means I already have protection. Perhaps this is what my ex-boss meant when she says I am self-protected. I guess maybe I am. Just be happy that I am self-protected and can also give protection to others. Instead of lamenting that I have to protect myself.
(May 11 - Self-protect or God-protect. I now start to think that somehow I am 'connected')
Affirmation
I am joyous, happy and free.
I am my own authority
I love and approve of myself
Life is good.
Gweyneth Paltrow
Exercise 6 days a week
Some days I hate it, some days I love it but I stick with it.
Having this "Stick-to-it-ness" is what its all about.
Soul
Similar to my experience wit meditation albeit 'hate' changed to 'chore'
This evening meditation, I didn't connect but I just ride along. Unexpectedly at the very end, I become connected and start to dance unexpectedly and also doing bit of gymnastic movement.
Louise Hay
The more you dwell on what you don't want, the more of it you create. The things about yourself or your life that you have always disliked are probably still with you.
Move away from the negative and put your attention on what it is that you really do want to be or have.
Soul
Thankfully, very little only. Actually, I seldom dwell on what I don't want, except for hurt in rship. I normally dwell on what I want.
Jus now tot of d drama excerpt. "Take your hands off my woman". So manly and so protective. Guess today I felt bit off cos at times I wonder who is going to protect me. I always have to protect others. I used to resent it and at time withheld my protection. But now the resentment has lessen and I have somewhat accept my role.
Mmm. If I can give protection to others, that means I already have protection. Perhaps this is what my ex-boss meant when she says I am self-protected. I guess maybe I am. Just be happy that I am self-protected and can also give protection to others. Instead of lamenting that I have to protect myself.
(May 11 - Self-protect or God-protect. I now start to think that somehow I am 'connected')
Affirmation
I am joyous, happy and free.
I am my own authority
I love and approve of myself
Life is good.
Samyama - definitely got something (6)
Apr 20
Osho card
1. The issue
Understanding
You are out of jail, out of the cage. The bar was an illusion and this small bird is summoned by the grace and freedom and encouragement of the others. It is spreading its wings, ready to take flight for the very first time.
In the first time, its natural to feel shaky but don't let it overshadow the opportunity to experience the lightheartedness and adventure on offer.
Move with the sweetness and gentleness of this time. Feel the fluttering within. Spread ur wing and be free.
Soul
Yeap, I am free. Yday, received d email from Regional with extremely detailed comments. In the past, I would have reacted cos I view it as an attack and self defense mode will be on. Infact almost all Regional has gotten my light lashing before.
Now I can jus read d email without any reaction, infact obligingly note the comments and amend accordingly. No drama whatsoever and actually d revision become effortless. It happened last week with the budget powerpoint and I tot it could be a fluke and it now continue. Amazing.
Of course, part of me wonder what happen. Where did the auto reaction go? I am no longer my usual self. Perhaps this is another clear cut example of "This is not about you".
2. Internal influence that u r unable to see
Exhaustion.
Life energy has been depleted in his efforts to keep fueling the enormous and ridiculous machine of self importance and productivity.
Life isn't a business to be managed, its a mystery to be lived. Its time to take a little trip into the unchartered.
Soul
Well, my RA was bit heavy last 2 week but this week is better. I am relaxing more and more. Have to remind myself to just go wit the Flow, whatever and wherever it maybe
3. External influence of which u r aware
Existence
Existence need you and nobody can replace u.
This gives u a tremendous joy, a fulfillment that u r related to existence, and existence care for you.
Once you are clean and clear, you can see tremendous love falling on you from all dimensions.
You sits on the lotus leaf of perfection, gazing at the beauty of the night sky. She knows that "home" is not a physical place in the outside world, but an inner quality of relaxation and acceptance.
Savour this feeling so that it can deepen and remain with u.
Soul
This mornin, watching my breathe, I just felt at ease. Jus at home.
These days can even join my staff for daily lunch, something I have not done since I first started work.
4 What is needed for resolution
Rebirth
Came. Lion and Child, the child is neither acquiescent nor rebellious, but innocent and spontaneous and true to his own being.
Whatever state you are in right now, sleep and depressed, or roaring and rebellious - be aware that it will evolve into something new if you allow it. It is a time of growth and change.
Soul
Perhaps that's why RA cos I am afraid of growth and change. This 4 days week has given me a break that I need but it also give me pressure to realise my Passion.
5. Resolution.
The Rebel
People are afraid, very much afraid of those who know themselves. They have certain power, a certain aura and a certain magnetism, a charisma that can take out a live, young people from the traditional imprisonment.
The enlightened man cannot be enslaved. The enlightened man is the greatest stranger in the world; he does not seem to belong to anybody. No organisation confines him, no community, no society, no nation.
The enlightened man is clearly the master of his own destiny.
He has formed himself by embracing all the colours of the rainbow, emerging from the dark and formless roots of his unconscious past and growing wings to fly into the sky
His way of being is rebeliious - not because he is fighting against anybody or anything, but because he has discovered his own true nature and is determined to live in accordance with it.
The eagle is his spirit animal, a messenger between earth and sky.
The Rebel challenges us to be courageous enough to take responsibility for who we are and to live our truth.
Soul
Yeap, accepting my role takes loads of courage.
My cage is open already, changes within is manifesting. While I am still shaky, I am proceeding ahead.
Its true, this path can be lonely even when u have found the Truth.
Well, I have taken this path alone since 13 years ago, swimming in the dark. So, now is walking in the light, should be easier. Amen
Now I understand why Sadhguru says he is at home at Himalaya. Who knows, maybe next year I will make a trip.
Afternoon
CD - was informed by the GM that he definitely won't prolong his stay. So tot no help there. Today meeting, I saw d opportunity to ask for him to stay longer and he agree. Definitely a possibility as d group also need time to get him other options. So, win win for us.
Noted that CEO is now seeing GM wit new eyes and saw that GM can be bias, which is good. The way she talked abt d interview candidate that her aggression oozing from her pores - that's was totally not true. Infact the ex-staff is more aggressive than this interview candidate. Really...
And d other candidate that she wanted and said is good, actually pulled out from d job offer. So, I was on the right track.
Today managed to convey to CEO that she is powerful and is intimidating and introvert won't be able to handle her. Also shared that since she is so powerful, her thoughts manifest faster than most people. So, she has to be careful of her tots.
Osho card
1. The issue
Understanding
You are out of jail, out of the cage. The bar was an illusion and this small bird is summoned by the grace and freedom and encouragement of the others. It is spreading its wings, ready to take flight for the very first time.
In the first time, its natural to feel shaky but don't let it overshadow the opportunity to experience the lightheartedness and adventure on offer.
Move with the sweetness and gentleness of this time. Feel the fluttering within. Spread ur wing and be free.
Soul
Yeap, I am free. Yday, received d email from Regional with extremely detailed comments. In the past, I would have reacted cos I view it as an attack and self defense mode will be on. Infact almost all Regional has gotten my light lashing before.
Now I can jus read d email without any reaction, infact obligingly note the comments and amend accordingly. No drama whatsoever and actually d revision become effortless. It happened last week with the budget powerpoint and I tot it could be a fluke and it now continue. Amazing.
Of course, part of me wonder what happen. Where did the auto reaction go? I am no longer my usual self. Perhaps this is another clear cut example of "This is not about you".
2. Internal influence that u r unable to see
Exhaustion.
Life energy has been depleted in his efforts to keep fueling the enormous and ridiculous machine of self importance and productivity.
Life isn't a business to be managed, its a mystery to be lived. Its time to take a little trip into the unchartered.
Soul
Well, my RA was bit heavy last 2 week but this week is better. I am relaxing more and more. Have to remind myself to just go wit the Flow, whatever and wherever it maybe
3. External influence of which u r aware
Existence
Existence need you and nobody can replace u.
This gives u a tremendous joy, a fulfillment that u r related to existence, and existence care for you.
Once you are clean and clear, you can see tremendous love falling on you from all dimensions.
You sits on the lotus leaf of perfection, gazing at the beauty of the night sky. She knows that "home" is not a physical place in the outside world, but an inner quality of relaxation and acceptance.
Savour this feeling so that it can deepen and remain with u.
Soul
This mornin, watching my breathe, I just felt at ease. Jus at home.
These days can even join my staff for daily lunch, something I have not done since I first started work.
4 What is needed for resolution
Rebirth
Came. Lion and Child, the child is neither acquiescent nor rebellious, but innocent and spontaneous and true to his own being.
Whatever state you are in right now, sleep and depressed, or roaring and rebellious - be aware that it will evolve into something new if you allow it. It is a time of growth and change.
Soul
Perhaps that's why RA cos I am afraid of growth and change. This 4 days week has given me a break that I need but it also give me pressure to realise my Passion.
5. Resolution.
The Rebel
People are afraid, very much afraid of those who know themselves. They have certain power, a certain aura and a certain magnetism, a charisma that can take out a live, young people from the traditional imprisonment.
The enlightened man cannot be enslaved. The enlightened man is the greatest stranger in the world; he does not seem to belong to anybody. No organisation confines him, no community, no society, no nation.
The enlightened man is clearly the master of his own destiny.
He has formed himself by embracing all the colours of the rainbow, emerging from the dark and formless roots of his unconscious past and growing wings to fly into the sky
His way of being is rebeliious - not because he is fighting against anybody or anything, but because he has discovered his own true nature and is determined to live in accordance with it.
The eagle is his spirit animal, a messenger between earth and sky.
The Rebel challenges us to be courageous enough to take responsibility for who we are and to live our truth.
Soul
Yeap, accepting my role takes loads of courage.
My cage is open already, changes within is manifesting. While I am still shaky, I am proceeding ahead.
Its true, this path can be lonely even when u have found the Truth.
Well, I have taken this path alone since 13 years ago, swimming in the dark. So, now is walking in the light, should be easier. Amen
Now I understand why Sadhguru says he is at home at Himalaya. Who knows, maybe next year I will make a trip.
Afternoon
CD - was informed by the GM that he definitely won't prolong his stay. So tot no help there. Today meeting, I saw d opportunity to ask for him to stay longer and he agree. Definitely a possibility as d group also need time to get him other options. So, win win for us.
Noted that CEO is now seeing GM wit new eyes and saw that GM can be bias, which is good. The way she talked abt d interview candidate that her aggression oozing from her pores - that's was totally not true. Infact the ex-staff is more aggressive than this interview candidate. Really...
And d other candidate that she wanted and said is good, actually pulled out from d job offer. So, I was on the right track.
Today managed to convey to CEO that she is powerful and is intimidating and introvert won't be able to handle her. Also shared that since she is so powerful, her thoughts manifest faster than most people. So, she has to be careful of her tots.
Approve myself
Apr 18
Louise Hay
"I am unworthy" creates procrastination.
After all, procrastination is one way to keep us from getting where we say we want to go. Most people who procrastinate will spend a lot of time and energy berating themselves for procrastination.
Soul
I have been there. This path to be a Transformational leader is a tall order. But after hearing Sadhguru says that it may take more than one lifetime, I felt released from the pressure of failure.
Willingness to release the need.
There must be a need in u for this condition or u wouldn't have it.
The willingness to let go of the old is the key.
Soul
Tot of my RA. Luckily read Jeshua's chanelling on chronic disease. Otherwise, I be feeling bad.
Louise Hay
Self criticising is totally missing the mark as it will only intensify the procrastination and laziness.
"I am willing to release the need to be unworthy. I am worthy of the very best in life and I now lovingly allow myself to accept it.
No matter how you approach it or what subject matter we are talking about, we are only dealing wit thoughts, and thoughts can be changed.
When we want to change a condition, we need to say so.
"I am willing to release the pattern within me that is creating this condition"
You can say this to yourself over and over everytime you think of ur illness or problem.
Soul
I can do this. I am willing to release the pattern within me that is creating RA.
Louise Hay
A frightened child needs comforting, not scolding. Scolding yourself only makes u more frightened, and there is nowhere to run. When the child within feels unsafe, it creates a lot of trouble. Remember how it felt to be belittled when you were young. It feels the same way now to that child within.
Be kind to yourself. Begin to love and approve of yourself. That's what that little child need in order to express itself as its highest potential.
In the infinity of life where I am,
all is perfect, whole and complete.
I see any resistance patterns within me only as something else to release.
They have no power over me.
I am the power in my world.
I flow with the changes taking place in my life as best as I can.
I approve of myself and the way I am changing.
I am doing best I can. Each day gets easier.
I rejoice that I am in the rhythm and flow of my ever-changing life.
Today is a wonderful day.
I choose to make it so.
All is well in my world.
Soul
I need this affirmation cos I am feeling afraid. The recent attack from RA is quite acute.
RA- Deep criticism of authority. Feeling very put upon.
Affirmation - I am my own authority. I love and approve of myself. Life is good.
(May 11 - I think there is some lesson here. Not sure yet...but its relating to self control)
Father, thanks for sending Louise Hay to me. I need her guidance now. Also her life story gave me a clue on how to market my book.
Louise Hay
"I am unworthy" creates procrastination.
After all, procrastination is one way to keep us from getting where we say we want to go. Most people who procrastinate will spend a lot of time and energy berating themselves for procrastination.
Soul
I have been there. This path to be a Transformational leader is a tall order. But after hearing Sadhguru says that it may take more than one lifetime, I felt released from the pressure of failure.
Willingness to release the need.
There must be a need in u for this condition or u wouldn't have it.
The willingness to let go of the old is the key.
Soul
Tot of my RA. Luckily read Jeshua's chanelling on chronic disease. Otherwise, I be feeling bad.
Louise Hay
Self criticising is totally missing the mark as it will only intensify the procrastination and laziness.
"I am willing to release the need to be unworthy. I am worthy of the very best in life and I now lovingly allow myself to accept it.
No matter how you approach it or what subject matter we are talking about, we are only dealing wit thoughts, and thoughts can be changed.
When we want to change a condition, we need to say so.
"I am willing to release the pattern within me that is creating this condition"
You can say this to yourself over and over everytime you think of ur illness or problem.
Soul
I can do this. I am willing to release the pattern within me that is creating RA.
Louise Hay
A frightened child needs comforting, not scolding. Scolding yourself only makes u more frightened, and there is nowhere to run. When the child within feels unsafe, it creates a lot of trouble. Remember how it felt to be belittled when you were young. It feels the same way now to that child within.
Be kind to yourself. Begin to love and approve of yourself. That's what that little child need in order to express itself as its highest potential.
In the infinity of life where I am,
all is perfect, whole and complete.
I see any resistance patterns within me only as something else to release.
They have no power over me.
I am the power in my world.
I flow with the changes taking place in my life as best as I can.
I approve of myself and the way I am changing.
I am doing best I can. Each day gets easier.
I rejoice that I am in the rhythm and flow of my ever-changing life.
Today is a wonderful day.
I choose to make it so.
All is well in my world.
Soul
I need this affirmation cos I am feeling afraid. The recent attack from RA is quite acute.
RA- Deep criticism of authority. Feeling very put upon.
Affirmation - I am my own authority. I love and approve of myself. Life is good.
(May 11 - I think there is some lesson here. Not sure yet...but its relating to self control)
Father, thanks for sending Louise Hay to me. I need her guidance now. Also her life story gave me a clue on how to market my book.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Spiritual path (4)
Apr 17
Channeling from Jeshua
Feelings are your teachers.
Emotions are your children.
Emotions are essentially explosions of misunderstanding that you can clearly perceive in the body. They are reactions to things that you do not really understand. Eg, anger, hurt, rage, fear, deep sadness or etc.
Feelings are more quiet than emotions. They are whispers of the soul that reach you through gentle nudges, an inner knowingness or a sudden intuitive action that later appears to have been very wise.
Emotions always have something very intense and dramatic to them. Emotions take hold of you completely and pull you away from your spiritual center. In the moment you are highly emotional, you are full of a kind of energy that pulls you away from ur center, ur inner clarity. In that sense, emotions are like clouds hovering before the sun. Emotions should not be repressed; they are very valuable as a means to get to know yourself more intimately. Emotions essentially takes you out of your center.
Feelings, on the other hand, bring you deeper into yourself, into ur center. Feelings are closely associated with what u call intuition. Feelings express a higher understanding, a kind of understanding that transcends both the emotions and the mind.
Feelings originate in a non-physical realm, outside of the body. That is why they are not so clearly located within one spot of the physical body.
There is also another energy that has more of a "feeling" nature than an emotional one. It is joy. Joy can be a phenomenon that transcends the emotional.
Sometimes you can feel a kind of joy inside that lifts you up without a particular reason. You feel the divinity inside you and your intimate connection to all that exists. (Soul - I have experienced this.)
Feelings are not so easily summoned and seem to come to you "out of the blue". Emotions almost always have a clear immediate cause; a trigger in the outside world that "pushes your buttons".
Feelings originate from the dimension of your Higher or Greater Self. You need to be quiet inside to catch those whispers in ur heart.
Emotions can disturb this inner silence and peace. Therefore it is vital to become emotionally calm and to heal and release repressed emotions.
Only from ur feeling which connects you to ur soul can you make balanced decision.
By being quiet and peaceful, u can feel with all ur being what is right for you at a certain moment. Making decisions based on emotions is making decision from a non-centered postion. You need to release the emotions first and get in touch with ur inner core whether there is clarity.
Soul
This is same like my Msg "This is not about you".
Channeling from Jeshua
Being emotional is equivalent to being like a child. Your inner child is the seat of your emotion. Also there is a striking resemblance between the way you deal with ur own emotions and the way you deal with children.
Soul
I encouraged children to express but I will stop them when they become emotional. So, children knows that I want them to be mature.
(7 May - My favourite phrase ; I will handle it. This is control. It is true, I have more adult than child and hence perhaps thats why I am hidden discipliner. I generally able to preservere for long term results. On the surface, I seem to be a rebel, self centred and do what I want but actually on the inside, I am controlled and of cos, inner discipline is just an attribute of my inner control. Does this means that I control myself because I dont approve of myself ????? This is a classic RA cause.
Jeshua
Children are honest and spontaneous in their emotions and they do not hide or repress them until adults encourage them to do so.
The child's emotions are often "reactions of misunderstanding" to this physical reality.
An emotion can best be viewed as an energy that comes to u for healing. Therefore it is important not to be swept away by the emotion but to remain able to look at it from a neutrel stance. It is important to stay conscious. You should not repress and emotion but you should not drown in it either. For when you drown in it, when you identify with it completely, the child in you become a tyrant that will lead you astray.
The most important thing you can do with an emotion is to allow it in, to feel all aspects of it while not losing ur consciousness. Take for instance anger. You can invite anger to be fully present, experiencing it in ur body, while u r at the same time neutrelly observing it. Such type of consciousness is healing.
Soul
I do allow it. These days, inner and outer is the same.
Jeshua
Turning toward your emotions require a kind of self-discipline. Releasing outside reality as the "source of the evil" and taking full responsibility yourself means that you acknowledge that "you choose to react a certain way".
You stop arguing about who is right and who is wrong, who is to be blame for what and you simply release the whole chain of events that happened outside ur control. "I now experience this emotion in the full awareness that I choose to do so". This taking responsibility. That is courage!
The self discipline is that you give up on being righteous and on being the helpless victim. You give up on feeling angry, misunderstood and all other victimhood. Taking responsibility is an act of humbleness. It means being honest with urself, even at ur weakest moment.
This is self discipline that is being asked of you. At the same time, this kind of turning inward requires the highest compassion. The emotion u r honestly prepared to face as ur own creation is also looked upon with gentle understanding.
Soul
I am very good in this. I always take it inward and I use to think that it happen becos of me. I tot that everything is within my control. Good or bad is due to me.
Of course, now I take things less personally and knows all things not within my control. (May 7 - just did the whole process in the incident with my 3 staff)
Jeshua.
Spiritual mastership is about accepting all there is within you, you rise above it and become its master. Mastership is both strong and gentle. It is very allowing and yet it takes discipline, the discipline of courage and honesty.
The spiritual path is about love for yourself and inner clarity. All things you need for spiritual growth are within you.
You are the master of your life, the master of ur unique path to love and freedom.
Soul
I do acknowledge my emotions now.
(7 May - now reading this, I am more clear of my path and reason for my chronic disease. My lesson is to approve and love myself and concurrently to teach others too. So, the cloud of unknowing is clearing....)
Channeling from Jeshua
Feelings are your teachers.
Emotions are your children.
Emotions are essentially explosions of misunderstanding that you can clearly perceive in the body. They are reactions to things that you do not really understand. Eg, anger, hurt, rage, fear, deep sadness or etc.
Feelings are more quiet than emotions. They are whispers of the soul that reach you through gentle nudges, an inner knowingness or a sudden intuitive action that later appears to have been very wise.
Emotions always have something very intense and dramatic to them. Emotions take hold of you completely and pull you away from your spiritual center. In the moment you are highly emotional, you are full of a kind of energy that pulls you away from ur center, ur inner clarity. In that sense, emotions are like clouds hovering before the sun. Emotions should not be repressed; they are very valuable as a means to get to know yourself more intimately. Emotions essentially takes you out of your center.
Feelings, on the other hand, bring you deeper into yourself, into ur center. Feelings are closely associated with what u call intuition. Feelings express a higher understanding, a kind of understanding that transcends both the emotions and the mind.
Feelings originate in a non-physical realm, outside of the body. That is why they are not so clearly located within one spot of the physical body.
There is also another energy that has more of a "feeling" nature than an emotional one. It is joy. Joy can be a phenomenon that transcends the emotional.
Sometimes you can feel a kind of joy inside that lifts you up without a particular reason. You feel the divinity inside you and your intimate connection to all that exists. (Soul - I have experienced this.)
Feelings are not so easily summoned and seem to come to you "out of the blue". Emotions almost always have a clear immediate cause; a trigger in the outside world that "pushes your buttons".
Feelings originate from the dimension of your Higher or Greater Self. You need to be quiet inside to catch those whispers in ur heart.
Emotions can disturb this inner silence and peace. Therefore it is vital to become emotionally calm and to heal and release repressed emotions.
Only from ur feeling which connects you to ur soul can you make balanced decision.
By being quiet and peaceful, u can feel with all ur being what is right for you at a certain moment. Making decisions based on emotions is making decision from a non-centered postion. You need to release the emotions first and get in touch with ur inner core whether there is clarity.
Soul
This is same like my Msg "This is not about you".
Channeling from Jeshua
Being emotional is equivalent to being like a child. Your inner child is the seat of your emotion. Also there is a striking resemblance between the way you deal with ur own emotions and the way you deal with children.
Soul
I encouraged children to express but I will stop them when they become emotional. So, children knows that I want them to be mature.
(7 May - My favourite phrase ; I will handle it. This is control. It is true, I have more adult than child and hence perhaps thats why I am hidden discipliner. I generally able to preservere for long term results. On the surface, I seem to be a rebel, self centred and do what I want but actually on the inside, I am controlled and of cos, inner discipline is just an attribute of my inner control. Does this means that I control myself because I dont approve of myself ????? This is a classic RA cause.
Jeshua
Children are honest and spontaneous in their emotions and they do not hide or repress them until adults encourage them to do so.
The child's emotions are often "reactions of misunderstanding" to this physical reality.
An emotion can best be viewed as an energy that comes to u for healing. Therefore it is important not to be swept away by the emotion but to remain able to look at it from a neutrel stance. It is important to stay conscious. You should not repress and emotion but you should not drown in it either. For when you drown in it, when you identify with it completely, the child in you become a tyrant that will lead you astray.
The most important thing you can do with an emotion is to allow it in, to feel all aspects of it while not losing ur consciousness. Take for instance anger. You can invite anger to be fully present, experiencing it in ur body, while u r at the same time neutrelly observing it. Such type of consciousness is healing.
Soul
I do allow it. These days, inner and outer is the same.
Jeshua
Turning toward your emotions require a kind of self-discipline. Releasing outside reality as the "source of the evil" and taking full responsibility yourself means that you acknowledge that "you choose to react a certain way".
You stop arguing about who is right and who is wrong, who is to be blame for what and you simply release the whole chain of events that happened outside ur control. "I now experience this emotion in the full awareness that I choose to do so". This taking responsibility. That is courage!
The self discipline is that you give up on being righteous and on being the helpless victim. You give up on feeling angry, misunderstood and all other victimhood. Taking responsibility is an act of humbleness. It means being honest with urself, even at ur weakest moment.
This is self discipline that is being asked of you. At the same time, this kind of turning inward requires the highest compassion. The emotion u r honestly prepared to face as ur own creation is also looked upon with gentle understanding.
Soul
I am very good in this. I always take it inward and I use to think that it happen becos of me. I tot that everything is within my control. Good or bad is due to me.
Of course, now I take things less personally and knows all things not within my control. (May 7 - just did the whole process in the incident with my 3 staff)
Jeshua.
Spiritual mastership is about accepting all there is within you, you rise above it and become its master. Mastership is both strong and gentle. It is very allowing and yet it takes discipline, the discipline of courage and honesty.
The spiritual path is about love for yourself and inner clarity. All things you need for spiritual growth are within you.
You are the master of your life, the master of ur unique path to love and freedom.
Soul
I do acknowledge my emotions now.
(7 May - now reading this, I am more clear of my path and reason for my chronic disease. My lesson is to approve and love myself and concurrently to teach others too. So, the cloud of unknowing is clearing....)
Chronic disease
Apr 17
Got this channeling from my close friend. Very timely especially since my RA has acted up recently and I am feeling bit down and losing hope of ever being cured. Bit sad that the suffering still continues. Haven't I learnt what i need to learn?
Channelling from Jeshua
The purpose of illness is to obtain a better and deeper understanding of yourself. Once you do this and go along with the inner healing process, physical recovery is often the result.
However it does not always work this way. Some diseases do not disappear even when it seems you have gone down to the root of the underlying emotional blockage. This is the case with chronic diseases.
In the case of chronic disease there are persistent physical problems that keep recurring. Especially during vulnerable periods in which you more or less lose touch with your inner self, the symptoms recur sometimes even in an increasing degree. This can be quite demoralising. Therefore it is important to consider the disease from a broader perspective.
Soul
That's how I was feeling this 2 weeks. Though the Osho card says that pain is not to make me suffer but to make me aware. Only thing I can think of is that I did move away from my passion to be a Transformational leader and infact was thinking to go back and do 5 days work. Alas, the pain reminds me and I did 4 days work instead.
Jeshua
People with a chronic disease undertake quite an ardous task. On the soul level, they have agreed to confront the fears that come up in the context of their illness and to confront idealised pictures of how someone should perform in life. To take up this challenges show great courage.
It often happens that a soul chooses a chronic disease to work out a specific issue in a highly focused way. The disease throws you back on particular emotions each time. There is an emotional pattern that accompanies the illness to deal with these emotions time and time again is quite a heavy task but it bears many fruits for the soul.
Quite often these lives have a great profundity and an inner richness that is not always noticeable to other. Therefore it is not supportive to constantly strive or hope for an improvement of the medical condition.
The fact is that the disease often proceeds in a spiral movement, helping you grow on the inner level in circular movement upwards, although apparently you relapse into the same physical symtoms each time.
On the spiritual level, you do not fall back but you reach ever greater depths in dealing with emotions that possibly have been overlooked by you in the past, even in past lives.
Soul
This message reinforce the msg from Ekhart Tolle about inner fulfillment and not outer fulfillment.
For me, I think whenever I ignore my Passion, the symptoms increase. Whenever I force myself to do things I don't like, the stress also increase.
Father, I do have an issue with people telling me that I am a discipline person. Why? It is a compliment but I brush it off and infact doesn't wan to think I discipline myself to do wake up and do meditation.
Rheumatoid Arthritis
Deep criticism of authority. Feeling very put upon.
Affirmation
I am my own authority. I love and approve of myself. Life is good.
Soul
I already taken in the affirmation. So, why?
(Soul - 7 May - Now reading this; my mantra was : I am my own authority. I approve and love myself. So, perhaps lately I haven't approve myself and hence RA acted up. And the fact that it is chronic means that not only do I have to approve and love myself, I also have to show others how to approve and love themselves. Is this the lesson??)
Got this channeling from my close friend. Very timely especially since my RA has acted up recently and I am feeling bit down and losing hope of ever being cured. Bit sad that the suffering still continues. Haven't I learnt what i need to learn?
Channelling from Jeshua
The purpose of illness is to obtain a better and deeper understanding of yourself. Once you do this and go along with the inner healing process, physical recovery is often the result.
However it does not always work this way. Some diseases do not disappear even when it seems you have gone down to the root of the underlying emotional blockage. This is the case with chronic diseases.
In the case of chronic disease there are persistent physical problems that keep recurring. Especially during vulnerable periods in which you more or less lose touch with your inner self, the symptoms recur sometimes even in an increasing degree. This can be quite demoralising. Therefore it is important to consider the disease from a broader perspective.
Soul
That's how I was feeling this 2 weeks. Though the Osho card says that pain is not to make me suffer but to make me aware. Only thing I can think of is that I did move away from my passion to be a Transformational leader and infact was thinking to go back and do 5 days work. Alas, the pain reminds me and I did 4 days work instead.
Jeshua
People with a chronic disease undertake quite an ardous task. On the soul level, they have agreed to confront the fears that come up in the context of their illness and to confront idealised pictures of how someone should perform in life. To take up this challenges show great courage.
It often happens that a soul chooses a chronic disease to work out a specific issue in a highly focused way. The disease throws you back on particular emotions each time. There is an emotional pattern that accompanies the illness to deal with these emotions time and time again is quite a heavy task but it bears many fruits for the soul.
Quite often these lives have a great profundity and an inner richness that is not always noticeable to other. Therefore it is not supportive to constantly strive or hope for an improvement of the medical condition.
The fact is that the disease often proceeds in a spiral movement, helping you grow on the inner level in circular movement upwards, although apparently you relapse into the same physical symtoms each time.
On the spiritual level, you do not fall back but you reach ever greater depths in dealing with emotions that possibly have been overlooked by you in the past, even in past lives.
Soul
This message reinforce the msg from Ekhart Tolle about inner fulfillment and not outer fulfillment.
For me, I think whenever I ignore my Passion, the symptoms increase. Whenever I force myself to do things I don't like, the stress also increase.
Father, I do have an issue with people telling me that I am a discipline person. Why? It is a compliment but I brush it off and infact doesn't wan to think I discipline myself to do wake up and do meditation.
Rheumatoid Arthritis
Deep criticism of authority. Feeling very put upon.
Affirmation
I am my own authority. I love and approve of myself. Life is good.
Soul
I already taken in the affirmation. So, why?
(Soul - 7 May - Now reading this; my mantra was : I am my own authority. I approve and love myself. So, perhaps lately I haven't approve myself and hence RA acted up. And the fact that it is chronic means that not only do I have to approve and love myself, I also have to show others how to approve and love themselves. Is this the lesson??)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)