Conflicts among staff

May 3
Father, jus realised that during shakti first session, my fingers not holding the right mudra.

I am having slight negative tot abt my FM. I can understand why P was against S but I cannot understand why W is against S too. Like the mistake on d replacement for bcc entry. Is it major? Nope. I know they have bad experience in the payroll but that one I think P played a hand.
I tot the other day, I forget about this, but it keep coming back.
The only part was d promotion increment. Mmm, 8 of diamond. They have tots of their own, and won't listen to anyone.
When I commented that F and her assistant so far apart. She says me and her also the same.
Father, guide me.

8 of diamond
1st card is I m her Jupiter - I shared with her my abundance
2nd card is she is my Neptune - don't see her as she really is.
Soul - m facing this now.
3rd card is I m her Pluto - I challenge her to grow. Soul - in terms of work, she still hasn't really move.
4 th card is that she is Saturn in my Life spread. She is my teacher, telling me how to improve myself.
If I can take their criticism impersonally and use it constructively, I can make huge strides in my personal or professional devt.

Soul
Have I faced this before? Fight among my staff for my attention. Feeling they not supported.
While is true, am excited abt S, then even P from Sp also says she can see that S is good. When I told this to W, she waives it off and sort of says S is not good.

Of cos, among all my staff. I think S is the best. Perhaps he does all the things I don't know. But wit W, I also don't like the thing she does. Perhaps is becos while she can understand P right for increment, she can't understand hers. Frankly, is 1 year here, and my plan is to give her some increment. Tot of she running everything but looks like not possible. Even can see from Korea's set up. So how can she grow? Even now, she can't do and don't want to do the Budgets. So how?
Father, let me see her truly. Just like P and I have our up and down. Whereas P is my big sister, she is supposed to be my small sister. Let me see this as a learning.
Let me be compassionate to all of us, me included.
Let me see how I created the situation.

Evening
Jus did meditation. Despite lack of focus, surprisingly I was laughing. Then it occur to me this is a small issue for me. I will jus focus on me, W and S. Don't have to bring P into the pix.
If it small issue for me, why am I disturbed?
Cos I always take pride in myself handling my team and create good rapport among them. I had some hiccup in late Nineties but those hiccups long gone.

Now I admit why this disturbed me. I was feeling defensive against P for creating anomisity within W and for W for not supporting me and stupid for being taken a ride. I tot if I am guilty for having lunch with them, for being close to them, for showing favouritism.
I am guilty for showing I really likes S. But S is really supportive, initiative and solve problem without me having to lift a finger, he goes beyond board. He also listen to my guidance and has improved himself. He is the best in my Team and frankly if come to shove, I would prefer to lose W vs S cos W is just doing her base level job. I wonder if I what I told S abt his trigger is that he is so great that he makes people looks bad.
Alas, I was feeling defensive cos I tot this is about Me.
I recall in d nineties, so much animosity against me from S. She was shouting and etc and still I preservere. So, wit W, is a small issue compared to S. I guess these days, I just wan to be left alone. Who am I to change anyone? Who am I to judge. Aiyah, its just my defense mechanism. Also, am not sure if I can be tested. What if I fail after all d meditation course? Aiyah. Its just my defense mechanism.


Sadhguru, another tot, please.
Sadhguru's msg - Love thy neighbour. It takes much courage to do this. It is a very good device for breaking ur illusion of loving the one who is in the heavens.

If a persons is enlightened, he can relate to anybody. There is really no problem about relating with whomever he is with at that moment. Even if the other person is not willing, he can still relate to him and his limitations as well, and still be okay with him.
Eg. Ramakrishna attachment to Vivekananda. People around him resented this.
Eg. Ashtavakra with Janaka, the king. His other disciples resented him for this. Is it becos he is a king, a rich man, that he is being treated better than us?

This question was always there and now, there are so many emotions that are involved in this, which is a daily affair for every guru. For every guru, this is an issue in his life.

You don't carry rocks in ur hand the way u carry a flower. You carry flower with a different sense of gentleness and give a different priority to it. When u want to offer something to God, u don't offer rock. I am not saying rock is any less; it is just that a flower is more evolved. Accordingly, it gets treated. This goes for people also. This does not mean you don't care for the rock, but u do more work with it because it needs more work.
This is different, but definitely the way u handle it is different. If you don't have this distinction, then u will be a fool with life. In the name of equality, you will destroy all the beauty of life.

Soul
I was feeling defensive and guilty that I like S more than the rest. I was feeling guilty that I am more closer to S than the rest. I was feeling guilty that I support S more than the rest. I treasure S for his work and also his ability to accept my guidance for his path.
Sadhguru msg is that is ok to treat all of them differently.
Only thing is now I have to work with the rocks.
Amen